The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 29

CAPT. (aside). It is then as I feared. (Aloud.) Given? And to whom? Not to some gilded lordling?

JOS. No, father--the object of my love is no lordling. Oh, pity me, for he is but a humble sailor on board your own ship!

CAPT. Impossible!

JOS. Yes, it is true.

CAPT. A common sailor? Oh fie!

JOS. I blush for the weakness that allows me to cherish such a pa.s.sion.

I hate myself when I think of the depth to which I have stooped in permitting myself to think tenderly of one so ign.o.bly born, but I love him! I love him! I love him! (Weeps.) CAPT. Come, my child, let us talk this over. In a matter of the heart I would not coerce my daughter--I attach but little value to rank or wealth, but the line must be drawn somewhere. A man in that station may be brave and worthy, but at every step he would commit solecisms that society would never pardon.

JOS. Oh, I have thought of this night and day. But fear not, father, I have a heart, and therefore I love; but I am your daughter, and therefore I am proud. Though I carry my love with me to the tomb, he shall never, never know it.

CAPT. You are my daughter after all. But see, Sir Joseph's barge approaches, manned by twelve trusty oarsmen and accompanied by the admiring crowd of sisters, cousins, and aunts that attend him wherever he goes. Retire, my daughter, to your cabin--take this, his photograph, with you--it may help to bring you to a more reasonable frame of mind.

JOS. My own thoughtful father!

[Exit JOSEPHINE. CAPTAIN remains and ascends the p.o.o.p-deck.

BARCAROLLE. (invisible)

Over the bright blue sea Comes Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B., Wherever he may go Bang-bang the loud nine-pounders go!

Shout o'er the bright blue sea For Sir Joseph Porter, K.C.B.

[During this the Crew have entered on tiptoe, listening attentive to the song.

CHORUS OF SAILORS

Sir Joseph's barge is seen, And its crowd of blushing beauties, We hope he'll find us clean, And attentive to our duties.

We sail, we sail the ocean blue, And our saucy ship's a beauty.

We're sober, sober men and true And attentive to our duty.

We're smart and sober men, And quite devoid of fe-ar, In all the Royal N.

None are so smart as we are.

Enter SIR JOSEPH'S FEMALE RELATIVES

(They dance round stage)

REL. Gaily tripping, Lightly skipping, Flock the maidens to the shipping.

SAILORS. Flags and guns and pennants dipping!

All the ladies love the shipping.

REL. Sailors sprightly Always rightly Welcome ladies so politely.

SAILORS. Ladies who can smile so brightly, Sailors welcome most politely.

CAPT. (from p.o.o.p). Now give three cheers, I'll lead the way ALL. Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah! hurray!

Enter SIR JOSEPH with COUSIN HEBE

SONG--SIR JOSEPH

I am the monarch of the sea, The ruler of the Queen's Navee, Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants.

COUSIN HEBE. And we are his sisters, and his cousins and his aunts!

REL. And we are his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

SIR JOSEPH. When at anchor here I ride, My bosom swells with pride, And I snap my fingers at a foeman's taunts; COUSIN HEBE. And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

ALL. And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

SIR JOSEPH. But when the breezes blow, I generally go below, And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants; COUSIN HEBE. And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

ALL. And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts!

His sisters and his cousins, Whom he reckons up by dozens, And his aunts!

SONG -- SIR JOSEPH

When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an Attorney's firm.

I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door.

I polished up that handle so carefullee That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.--He polished, etc.

As office boy I made such a mark That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.

I served the writs with a smile so bland, And I copied all the letters in a big round hand-- I copied all the letters in a hand so free, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.- He copied, etc.

In serving writs I made such a name That an articled clerk I soon became; I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit For the pa.s.s examination at the Inst.i.tute, And that pa.s.s examination did so well for me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.--And that pa.s.s examination, etc.

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip That they took me into the partnership.

And that junior partnership, I ween, Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

But that kind of ship so suited me, That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.- But that kind, etc.

I grew so rich that I was sent By a pocket borough into Parliament.

I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

I thought so little, they rewarded me By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.- He thought so little, etc.

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule-- Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

CHORUS.--Stick close, etc.

SIR JOSEPH. You've a remarkably fine crew, Captain Corcoran.

CAPT. It is a fine crew, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH. (examining a very small midshipman). A British sailor is a splendid fellow, Captain Corcoran.

CAPT. A splendid fellow indeed, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH. I hope you treat your crew kindly, Captain Corcoran.

CAPT. Indeed I hope so, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH, Never forget that they are the bulwarks of England's greatness, Captain Corcoran.

CAPT. So I have always considered them, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH. No bullying, I trust--no strong language of any kind, eh?

CAPT. Oh, never, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH. What, never?

CAPT. Hardly ever, Sir Joseph. They are an excellent crew, and do their work thoroughly without it.

SIR JOSEPH. Don't patronise them, sir--pray, don't patronise them.

CAPT. Certainly not, Sir Joseph.

SIR JOSEPH. That you are their captain is an accident of birth.