The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 93

_Mag._ How can it be then, that such pleasant Companions should make me mad?

_Ant._ That's the common Saying.

_Mag._ But I by Experience find quite the contrary. How many more do we see grow mad by hard drinking, unseasonable feasting, and sitting up all Night tippling, which destroys the Const.i.tution and Senses, and has made People mad?

_Ant._ By my Faith, I would not have a learned Wife.

_Mag._ But I bless myself, that I have gotten a Husband that is not like yourself. Learning both endears him to me, and me to him.

_Ant._ Learning costs a great Deal of Pains to get, and after all we must die.

_Mag._ Notable Sir, pray tell me, suppose you were to die to-Morrow, had you rather die a Fool or a wise Man?

_Ant._ Why, a wise Man, if I could come at it without taking Pains.

_Mag._ But there is nothing to be attained in this Life without Pains; and yet, let us get what we will, and what Pains soever we are at to attain it, we must leave it behind us: Why then should we think much to be at some Pains for the most precious Thing of all, the Fruit of which will bear us Company unto another Life.

_Ant._ I have often heard it said, that a wise Woman is twice a Fool.

_Mag._ That indeed has been often said; but it was by Fools. A Woman that is truly wise does not think herself so: But on the contrary, one that knows nothing, thinks her self to be wise, and that is being twice a Fool.

_Ant._ I can't well tell how it is, that as Panniers don't become an Ox, so neither does Learning become a Woman.

_Mag._ But, I suppose, you can't deny but Panniers will look better upon an Ox, than a Mitre upon an a.s.s or a Sow. What think you of the Virgin _Mary_?

_Ant._ Very highly.

_Mag._ Was not she bookish?

_Ant._ Yes; but not as to such Books as these.

_Mag._ What Books did she read?

_Ant._ The canonical Hours.

_Mag._ For the Use of whom?

_Ant._ Of the Order of _Benedictines_.

_Mag._ Indeed? What did _Paula_ and _Eustochium_ do? Did not they converse with the holy Scriptures?

_Ant._ Ay, but this is a rare Thing now.

_Mag._ So was a blockheaded Abbot in old Time; but now nothing is more common. In old Times Princes and Emperors were as eminent for Learning as for their Governments: And after all, it is not so great a Rarity as you think it. There are both in _Spain_ and _Italy_ not a few Women, that are able to vye with the Men, and there are the _Morites_ in _England_, and the _Bilibald-duks_ and _Blaureticks_ in _Germany_. So that unless you take Care of yourselves it will come to that Pa.s.s, that we shall be Divinity-Professors in the Schools, and preach in the Churches, and take Possession of your Mitres.

_Ant._ G.o.d forbid.

_Mag._ Nay it is your Business to forbid it. For if you hold on as you have begun, even Geese themselves will preach before they'll endure you a Parcel of dumb Teachers. You see the World is turn'd up-Side down, and you must either lay aside your Dress, or perform your Part.

_Ant._ How came I to fall into this Woman's Company? If you'll come to see me, I'll treat you more pleasantly.

_Mag._ After what Manner?

_Ant._ Why, we'll dance, and drink heartily, and hunt and play, and laugh.

_Mag._ I can hardly forbear laughing now.

_The EPITHALAMIUM of PETRUS aeGIDIUS._

The ARGUMENT.

_The Muses and Graces are brought in, as singing the Epithalamium of_ Peter aegidius. Alipius _spies the nine Muses, and the three Graces coming out of a Grove, which_ Balbinus _can't see: They take their Way to_ Antwerp, _to the Wedding of_ aegidius, _to whom they wish all joy, that nothing of Difference or Uneasiness may ever arise between 'em. How those Marriages prove that are made, the Graces not favouring 'em. Congratulatory Verses._

ALIPIUS, BALBINUS, MUSae.

_Al._ Good G.o.d! What strange glorious Sight do I see here?

_Ba._ Either you see what is not to be seen, or I can't see that which is to be seen.

_Al._ Nay, I'll a.s.sure you, 'tis a wonderful charming Sight.

_Ba._ Why do you plague me at this Rate? Tell me, where 'tis you see it.

_Al._ Upon the left Hand there in the Grove, under the Side of the Hill.

_Ba._ I see the Hill, but I can see nothing else.

_Al._ No! don't you see a Company of pretty Maids there?

_Ba._ What do you mean, to make a Fool of me at this Rate? I can't see a bit of a Maid any where.

_Al._ Hush, they're just now coming out of the Grove. Oh admirable! How neat they are! How charmingly they look! 'Tis a heavenly Sight.

_Ba._ What! Are you possess'd?

_Al._ Oh, I know who they are; they're the nine Muses and the three Graces, I wonder what they're a-doing. I never in all my Life saw 'em more charmingly dress'd, nor in a gayer Humour; they have every one of 'em got Crowns of Laurel upon their Heads, and their Instruments of Musick in their Hands. And how lovingly the Graces go Side by Side! How becomingly they look in their loose Dress, with their Garments flowing and trailing after 'em.

_Ba._ I never heard any Body talk more like a mad Man in all my Days, than you do.

_Al._ You never saw a happier Man in all your Life-Time.

_Ba._ Pray what's the Matter, that you can see and I can't?

_Al._ Because you have never drank of the Muses Fountain; and no Body can see 'em but they that have.