The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 19

_Ra._ You say so, but the Horses would tell me another Tale, if they could but speak: Though indeed their Leanness speaks loud enough.

_Sy._ Indeed I take all the Care in the World of 'em.

_Ra._ How comes it about then, that they don't look as well as you do?

_Sy._ Because I don't eat Hay.

_Ra._ You have this to do still; make ready my Portmanteau quickly.

_Sy._ It shall be done.

_The SCHOOL-MASTER'S ADMONITIONS._

The ARGUMENT.

_The School-master's Instructions teach a Boy Modesty, Civility, and Manners becoming his Age, in what Posture he ought to stand while he talks to his Superiors; concerning Habit, Discourse, and Behaviour at Table and in School._

_The School-master and Boy._

_Sch._ You seem not to have been bred at Court, but in a Cow-stall; you behave yourself so clownishly. A Gentleman ought to behave himself like a Gentleman. As often or whenever any one that is your Superior speaks to you, stand strait, pull off your Hat, and look neither doggedly, surlily, saucily, malapertly, nor unsettledly, but with a staid, modest, pleasant Air in your Countenance, and a bashful Look fix'd upon the Person who speaks to you; your Feet set close one by t'other; your Hands without Action: Don't stand t.i.tter, totter, first standing upon one Foot, and then upon another, nor playing with your Fingers, biting your Lip, scratching your Head, or picking your Ears: Let your Cloaths be put on tight and neat, that your whole Dress, Air, Motion and Habit, may bespeak a modest and bashful Temper.

_Bo._ What if I shall try, Sir?

_Ma._ Do so.

_Bo._ Is this right?

_Ma._ Not quite.

_Bo._ Must I do so?

_Ma._ That's pretty well.

_Bo._ Must I stand so?

_Ma._ Ay, that's very well, remember that Posture; don't be a Prittle prattle, nor Prate apace, nor be a minding any Thing but what is said to you. If you are to make an Answer, do it in few Words, and to the Purpose, every now and then prefacing with some t.i.tle of Respect, and sometimes use a t.i.tle of Honour, and now and then make a Bow, especially when you have done speaking: Nor do you go away without asking Leave, or being bid to go: Now come let me see how you can practise this. How long have you been from Home?

_Bo._ Almost six Months.

_Ma._ You should have said, Sir.

_Bo._ Almost six Months, Sir.

_Ma._ Don't you long to see your Mother?

_Bo._ Yes, sometimes.

_Ma._ Have you a Mind to go to see her?

_Bo._ Yes, with your Leave, Sir.

_Ma._ Now you should have made a Bow; that's very well, remember to do so; when you speak, don't speak fast, stammer, or speak in your Throat, but use yourself to p.r.o.nounce your Words distinctly and clearly. If you pa.s.s by any ancient Person, a Magistrate, a Minister, or Doctor, or any Person of Figure, be sure to pull off your Hat, and make your Reverence: Do the same when you pa.s.s by any sacred Place, or the Image of the Cross. When you are at a Feast, behave yourself chearfully, but always so as to remember what becomes your Age: Serve yourself last; and if any nice Bit be offer'd you, refuse it modestly; but if they press it upon you, take it, and thank the Person, and cutting off a Bit of it, offer the rest either to him that gave it you, or to him that sits next to you. If any Body drinks to you merrily, thank him, and drink moderately.

If you don't care to drink, however, kiss the Cup. Look pleasantly upon him that speaks to you; and be sure not to speak till you are spoken to.

If any Thing that is obscene be said, don't laugh at it, but keep your Countenance, as though you did not understand it; don't reflect on any Body, nor take place of any Body, nor boast of any Thing of your own, nor undervalue any Thing of another Bodies. Be courteous to your Companions that are your Inferiors; traduce no Body; don't be a Blab with your Tongue, and by this Means you'll get a good Character, and gain Friends without Envy. If the Entertainment shall be long, desire to be excus'd, bid much good may it do the Guests, and withdraw from Table: See that you remember these Things.

_Bo._ I'll do my Endeavour, Sir. Is there any Thing else you'd have me do?

_Ma._ Now go to your Books.

_Bo._ Yes, Sir.

_Of VARIOUS PLAYS._

The ARGUMENT.

_The Boys sending_ Cocles _their Messenger to their Master, get Leave to go to Play; who shews that moderate Recreations are very necessary both for Mind and Body.

The Master admonishes them that they keep together at Play, &c. 1. Of playing at Stool-ball: Of chusing Partners. 2. Of playing at Bowls, the Orders of the Bowling-Green. 3. Of playing at striking a Ball through an Iron Ring. 4. Of Dancing, that they should not dance presently after Dinner: Of playing at Leap-frog: Of Running: Of Swimming._

NICHOLAS, JEROME, COCLES, _the_ MASTER.

_Nic._ I have had a great Mind a good While, and this fine Weather is a great Invitation to go to Play.

_Jer._ These indeed invite you, but the Master don't.

_Nic._ We must get some Spokesman that may extort a Holiday from him.

_Jer._ You did very well to say extort, for you may sooner wrest _Hercules's_ Club out of his Hands than get a Play-day from him; but Time was when n.o.body lov'd Play better than he did.

_Nic._ That is true, but he has forgot a great While ago since he was a Boy himself; he is as ready and free at whipping as any Body, but as sparing and backward at this as any Body in the World.

_Jer._ We must pick out a Messenger that is not very bashful that won't be presently dashed out of Countenance by his surly Words.

_Nic._ Let who will go for me, I had rather go without Play than ask him for it.

_Jer._ There is n.o.body fitter for this Business than _Cocles._

_Nic._ n.o.body in the World, he has a good bold Face of his own, and Tongue enough; and besides, he knows his Humour too.