The Century Handbook of Writing Part 18

Complicated repet.i.tion of _that_: He gave a quarter to the boy that brought the paper that printed the news that the war was ended. [_That_, _which_, and _who_ are often used carelessly to form a chain of subordinate clauses. Three successive subordinations are all that a reader can possibly keep straight; ordinarily a writer should not exceed two. But in parallel structure (See 30 and 37) the number of _that_, _which_, or _who_ clauses does not matter; a writer may fill a page with them and not confuse the reader at all.]

Right: He gave the boy a quarter for bringing him the paper with the news that the war was ended.

Complicated repet.i.tion of _of_: The East Side Civics Club is an organization of helpers of the helpless of the lower cla.s.ses of the city.

Right: The East Side Civics Club is organized to help the helpless poor of the city.

Complicated repet.i.tion of _for_: The general was dismayed, for he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was shattered.

Right: The general was dismayed; he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was shattered.

Complicated repet.i.tion of _but_: He was undoubtedly a brave man, but now he was somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn back.

Right: He was undoubtedly a brave man; though now somewhat alarmed, he would not turn back. [Or] He was undoubtedly a brave man. He was now somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn back.

Note.--Guard against the _but_-habit. Frequent recurrence of _but_ makes the reader's thought "tack" or change its course too often. There are ways to avoid an excessive use of _but_ and _however_. When one wishes to write about two things, A and B, which are opposed, he need not rush back and forth from one idea to the other. Let him first say all he wants to say about A. Then let him deliberately use the adversative _but_, and proceed to the discussion of B. In the following paragraph on "Whipping Children" the writer tries to be on both sides of the fence at once.

Confusing: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed, than to explain and argue. _But_ the gentler method is better. _Yet_ we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _However_, if it is used only for serious trangressions, the child will have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave.

_But_ for ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.

Right: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed than to explain and argue. And of course we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _But_ if it is used only for serious transgressions, the child will have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave. For ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.

Exercise:

1. He did not agree at first, but hesitated for a time, but finally said that he would go along.

2. Push down on the foot lever, which closes a switch which starts an electric motor which turns the flywheel so that the gasoline engine starts.

3. Apple dumplings are good, but they must be properly baked, but fortunately this is not difficult to do.

4. The work of the course consists partly of the study of the principles of grammar and of rhetoric, partly of the writing of themes, partly of oral composition, and partly of the reading and study of models of English prose.

5. The landscape which lay before me was one which was different from any which I had ever seen before. There was one thing which impressed me, and that was the miles and miles of gra.s.s which stretched and undulated away from the hill on which I stood.

=39.= EXERCISE IN CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

=A. Parallel Structure=

Give parallel structure to elements which are parallel in thought.

1. Baskets are of practical value as well as being used for ornaments.

2. The Book of Job ought to be interesting to a student, or for anybody.

3. The important considerations are whether the soil is sandy, and if it is well drained, and that it shall be easily cultivated.

4. A flower garden is a source of profit--profit not measured in money but in pleasure.

5. He was successful in business, and also attained success in the political world.

6. Whether his object was writing for pastime, or to please a friend, or money, we do not know.

7. Always praise your enemy, because if you whip him your glory is increased, and if he whips you it lets you down easy.

8. Either the ship will sink in the rough sea or go to pieces on the sh.o.r.e.

9. An athlete must possess strength, nerve, and be able to think quickly.

10. We were interested in buying some dry-goods, and at the same time see the sights of the great city.

11. Some people talk foolishness, and others on serious subjects, and some keep still.

12. Not only she noticed my condition, but commented on it.

13. He abides by neither the laws of G.o.d nor man. He spoke both to Harry and Tom.

14. It is good for the health of one's mind to get new ideas every day, and expressing them clearly in writing.

15. Everyone who is capable of understanding the tax laws should know them and how they are abused.

16. I began by making applications at federal, state, and city employment bureaus for a position as cost accountant, salesman, or clerical work.

17. The damage to the trunk was caused by rough handling and not from faults in construction.

18. Pope, Swift, Addison, and Defoe were four satirists, but differing greatly in their work.

19. The occupants of these buildings are engaged in various kinds of business, namely: shoe-shining, shoe repair shops, cleaning and pressing clothes, confectionery stores, and restaurants.

20. I sing of geese: of the Biblical goose, that blew his bugle from the roof of Noah's Ark; the cla.s.sical goose that picked his livelihood along the sh.o.r.es of the aegean; of the historical goose, that squawked to save old Rome; the mercenary goose, laying the golden egg; and, finally, of the roast goose.

=B. Shift in Subject or Voice=

Rewrite the following sentences, avoiding all unnecessary shift in construction.

1. After you decide on the plan of the house, your attention is turned to the materials of construction.

2. Editors are careful to use words that are exact, yet simple, and the use of technical terms is not generally considered to be good.

3. Bank accounts should be balanced once a month in order that you may know your exact standing.

4. We should have our athletic contest between the weakest students, and in that way they will become physically strong.

5. When one is making a long-distance run, several cautions should be borne in mind by him.

6. In melody the poem is good, but the author's ideas are eccentric.

7. Lincoln's sentences are plain, blunt, and to the point. He lacks the ornate eloquence of Jefferson.