The Bramleighs of Bishop's Folly Part 28

"I meant nothing offensive. You needn't look like a turkey-c.o.c.k. All the gobble-gobble in the world would n't frighten me. I came in here in a friendly spirit. I was handsomely treated in this house, and I 'd like to make a return for it; that's why I 'm here, Bramleigh."

"You will pardon me if I do not detect the friendliness you speak of in the words you have just uttered."

"Perhaps I was a little too blunt--a little too--what shall I call it?--abrupt; but what I wanted to say was this: here's the nicest opportunity in the world, not only to help a lame dog over the stile, but to make a good hound of him afterwards."

"I protest, sir, I cannot follow you. Your bluntness, as you call it, was at least intelligible."

"Don't be in a pa.s.sion. Keep cool, and listen to me. If this motion is made about Culduff, and comes to a debate, there will be such stories told as would smash forty reputations. I 'd like to see which of us would come well out of a biography, treated as a party attack in the House of Commons. At all events _he_ could n't face it. Stand by him, then, and get him through it. Have patience; just hear what I have to say. The thing can be done; there 's eight days to come before it can be brought on. I know the money-lender has three of Norton's acceptances--for heavy sums, two of them. Do you see now what I'm driving at?"

"I may possibly see so much, sir, but I am unable to see why I should move in the matter."

"I 'll show you, then. The n.o.ble Viscount is much smitten by a certain young lady upstairs, and intends to propose for her. Yes, I know it, and I 'll vouch for it. Your eldest daughter may be a peeress, and though the husband isn't very young, neither is the t.i.tle. I think he said he was the eighth lord,--seventh or eighth, I 'm not sure which,--and taking the rank and the coal-mine together, don't you think she might do worse?"

"I will say, sir, that frankness like yours I've never met before."

"That's the very thing I 'd like to hear you say of me. There's no quality I pride myself on so much as my candor."

"You have ample reason, sir."

"I feel it. I know it. Direct lines and a wide gauge--I mean in the way of liberality,--that 's my motto. I go straight to my terminus, wherever it is."

"It is not every man can make his profession the efficient ally of his morality."

"An engineer can, and there 's nothing so like life as a new line of railroad. But to come back. You see now how the matter stands. If the arrangement suits you, the thing can be done."

"You have a very business-like way of treating these themes."

"If I had n't, I could n't treat them at all. What I say to myself is, Will it pay? first of all; and secondly, How much will it pay? And that's the one test for everything. Have the divines a more telling argument against a life of worldliness and self-indulgence than when they ask, Will it pay? We contract for everything, even for going to heaven."

"If I could hope to rival your eminently practical spirit, Mr. Cutbill, I 'd ask how far--to what extent--has Lord Culduff made you the confidant of his intentions?"

"You mean, has he sent me here this evening to make a proposal to you?"

"No, not exactly that; but has he intimated, has he declared--for intimation would n't suffice--has he declared his wish to be allied to my family?"

"He did n't say, 'Cutbill, go down and make a tender in my name for her,' if you mean that."

"I opine not, sir," said Bramleigh, haughtily.

"But when I tell you it's all right," said Cutbill, with one of his most knowing looks, "I think that ought to do."

"I take it, sir, that you mean courteously and fairly by me. I feel certain that you have neither the wish nor the intention to pain me; but I am forced to own that you import into questions of a delicate nature a spirit of commercial profit and loss, which makes all discussion of them harsh and disagreeable. This is not, let me observe to you, a matter of coal, or a new cutting on a railroad."

"And are you going to tell Tom Cutbill that out of his own line of business,--when he isn't up to his knees in earthworks, and boring a tunnel,--that he 's a fool and a nincomp.o.o.p?"

"I should be sorry to express such a sentiment."

"Ay, or feel it; why don't you say that?"

"I will go even so far, sir, and say I should be sorry to feel it."

"That's enough. No offence meant; none is taken. Here's how it is now.

Authorize me to see Joel about those bills of Norton's. Give me what the French call a _carte blanche_ to negotiate, and I 'll promise you I'll not throw your ten-pound notes away. Not that it need ever come to ten-pound notes, for Rigby does these things for the pure fun of them; and if any good fellow drops in on him of a morning, and says, 'Don't raise a hue and cry about that poor beggar,' or 'Don't push that fellow over the cliff,' he 's just the man to say, 'Well, I 'll not go on. I 'll let it stand over;' or he 'll even get up and say, 'When I asked leave to put this question to the right honorable gentleman, I fully believed in the authentic character of the information in my possession.

I have, however, since then discovered,'--this, that, and the other.

Don't you know how these things always finish? There's a great row, a great hubbub, and the man that retracts is always cheered by both sides of the House."

"Suppose, then, he withdraws his motion,--what then? The discussion in the Lords remains on record, and the mischief, so far as Lord Culduff is concerned, is done."

"I know that. He 'll not have his appointment; he 'll take his pension and wait. What he says is this: 'There are only three diplomatists in all England, and short of a capital felony, any of the three may do anything. I have only to stand out and sulk,' says he, 'and they'll be on their knees to me yet.'"

"He yields, then, to a pa.s.sing hurricane," said Bram-leigh, pompously.

"Just so. He 's taking shelter under an archway till he can call a hansom. Now you have the whole case; and as talking is dry work, might I ring for a gla.s.s of sherry and seltzer?"

"By all means. I am ashamed not to have thought of it before.--This is a matter for much thought and deliberation," said Bramleigh, as the servant withdrew, after bringing the wine. "It is too eventful a step to be taken suddenly."

"If not done promptly, it can't be done at all. A week is n't a long time to go up to town and get through a very knotty negotiation. Joel is n't a common money-lender, like Drake or Downie. You can't go to his office except on formal business. If you want to do a thing in the way of accommodation with him, you 'll have to take him down to the 'Ship,'

and give him a nice little fish dinner, with the very best Sauterne you can find; and when you 're sitting out on the balcony over the black mud,--the favorite spot men smoke their cheroots in,--then open your business; and though he knows well it was all 'a plant,' he 'll not resent it, but take it kindly and well."

"I am certain that so nice a negotiation could not be in better hands than yours, Mr. Cutbill."

"Well, perhaps I might say without vanity, it might be in worse. So much for that part of the matter; now, as to the n.o.ble Viscount himself. I am speaking as a man of the world to another man of the world, and speaking in confidence, too. _You_ don't join in that hypocritical cant against Culduff, because he had once in his life been what they call a man of gallantry? I mean, Bramleigh, that _you_ don't go in for that outrageous humbug of spotless virtue, and the rest of it?"

Bramleigh smiled, and as he pa.s.sed his hand over his mouth to hide a laugh, the twinkle of his eyes betrayed him.

"I believe I am old enough to know that one must take the world as it is pleased to present itself," said he, cautiously.

"And not want to think it better or worse than it really is?"

Bramleigh nodded a.s.sent.

"Now we understand each other, as I told you the other evening we were sure to do when we had seen more of each other. Culduff is n't a saint, but he 's a peer of Parliament; he is n't young, but he has an old t.i.tle, and if I 'm not much mistaken, he 'll make a pot of money out of this mine. Such a man has only to go down into the Black Country or amongst the mills, to have his choice of some of the best-looking girls in England, with a quarter of a million of money; isn't that fact?"

"It is pretty like it."

"So that, on the whole, I 'll say this is a good thing, Bramleigh--a right good thing. As Wishart said the other night in the House, 'A new country'--speaking of the States--'a new country wants alliances with old States;' so a new family wants connection with the old historic houses."

Colonel Bramleigh's face grew crimson, but he coughed to keep down his rising indignation, and slightly bowed his head.

"_You_ know as well as _I_ do, that the world has only two sorts of people,--n.o.bs and sn.o.bs; one has no choice--if you 're not one, you must be the other."

"And yet, sir, men of mind and intellect have written about the unt.i.tled n.o.bility of England."

"Silver without the hall-mark, Bramleigh, won't bring six shillings an ounce, just because n.o.body can say how far it's adulterated; it's the same with people."

"Your tact, sir, is on a par with your wisdom."

"And perhaps you haven't a high opinion of either," said Cutbill, with a laugh that showed he felt no irritation whatever. "But look here, Bramleigh, this will never do. If there 's nothing but blarney or banter between us, we 'll never come to business. If you agree to what I 've been proposing, you have only me to deal with; the n.o.ble lord is n't in the game at all--he 'll leave this to-night--it's right and proper he should; he 'll go up to the mines for a few days, and amuse himself with quartz and red sandstone; and when I write or telegraph,--most likely telegraph,--'The thing is safe,' he 'll come back here and make his proposal in all form."