The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night Volume XI Part 8

The Tale of the Simpleton Husband.[FN#371]

There was once in olden time a foolish man and an ignorant, who had abounding wealth, and his wife was a beautiful woman, who loved a handsome youth. The Cicisbeo used to watch for her husband's absence and come to her, and on this wise he abode a long while. One day of the days, as the woman was closeted with her lover, he said to her, "O my lady and my beloved, an thou desire me and love me, give me possession of thy person and, satisfy my need in the presence of thy husband; otherwise I will never again come to thee nor draw near thee while I live my life." Now she loved him with exceeding love and could not suffer his separation an hour nor could endure to anger him; so, when she heard his words, she said to him, "Bismillah, so be it, in Allah's name, O my darling and coolth of mine eyes: may he not live who would vex thee!" Quoth he, "To-day?" and quoth she, "Yes, by thy life," and made an appointment with him for this.

When her husband came home, she said to him, "I want to go a-pleasuring," and he said, "With all my heart." So he went, till he came to a goodly place, abounding in vines and water, whither he carried her and pitched her a tent by the side of a tall tree; and she betook herself to a place alongside the tent and made her there a Sardab, in which she hid her lover. Then said she to her husband, "I want to climb this tree;"[FN#372] and he said, "Do so." So she clomb it and when she came to the tree-top, she cried out and slapped her face, saying, "O thou lecher, are these thy lewd ways? Thou swarest faith to me, and thou liedest." And she repeated her speech twice and thrice. Then she came down from the tree and rent her raiment and said, "O lecher, an these be thy dealings with me before my eyes, how dost thou when thou art absent from me?" Quoth he, "What aileth thee?" and quoth she, "I saw thee futter the woman before my very eyes." Cried he, "Not so, by Allah! But hold thy peace till I go up and see." So he clomb the tree and no sooner did he begin to do so than out came the lover from his hiding-place and taking the woman by the legs, fell to s.h.a.gging her. When the husband came to the top of the tree, he looked and beheld a man futtering his wife; so he called out, "O wh.o.r.e, what doings are these?" and he made haste to come down from the tree to the ground. But meanwhile the lover had returned to his hiding-place and his wife asked him, "What sawest thou?" and he answered, "I saw a man s.h.a.g thee;" but she said, "Thou liest; thou sawest naught and sayst this only by way of phantasy." The same they did three several times, and every time he clomb the tree the lover came up out of the underground place and mounted her, whilst her husband looked on and she still said, "Seest thou aught, O liar?" "Yes," would he answer, and came down in haste, but saw no one and she said to him, "By my life, look and speak naught but sooth!" Then he cried to her, "Arise, let us depart this place, for 'tis full of Jinn and Marids."[FN#373]

Accordingly, they returned to their house and nighted there, and the man arose in the morning, a.s.sured that this was all but phantasy and fascination. And so the lover won his wicked will.

"Nor, O king of the age," continued the Wazir, "is this stranger than the story of the King and the t.i.ther." When the king heard this from the Minister, he bade him go away, and he went.

The Tenth Night of the Month.

When it was eventide, the king summoned the Wazir and sought of him the story of the King and the t.i.ther, and he said, "Hear, O king,

The Tale of the Unjust King and the t.i.ther.

There was once a king of the kings of the earth, who dwelt in a flourishing city, abounding in good; but he wronged its people and entreated them foully, so that he ruined the city; and he was named naught else but tyrant and oppressor. Now he was wont, whenas he heard of a violent man in another land, to send after him and lure him with lucre to take service with him; and there was a certain t.i.ther, who exceeded all other t.i.thers in oppression of the people and foul dealing. So the king sent after him and when he stood before him, he found him a man of mighty fine presence and said to him, "Thou hast been described to me, but I see thou surpa.s.sest the description. Set out to me some of thy doings and sayings, so I may be dispensed therewith from enquiring into the whole of thy case." Answered the other, "With all my heart! Know, O King, that I oppress the folk and people the land, whilst other than I ruineth it and peopleth it not."

Now the king was leaning back: but presently he sat upright and said, "Tell me of this." The t.i.ther replied, "'Tis well: I go to the man whom I purpose to t.i.the and cozen him and feign to be busied with certain business, so that I seclude myself therewith from the people; and meanwhile the man is squeezed with the foulest of extortion, till naught of money is left him. Then I appear and they come in to me and questions arise concerning him and I say, ?Indeed, I was ordered worse than this, for some one (may Allah curse him!) hath slandered him to the king.' Presently I take half of his good and return him the rest publicly before the folk and dismiss him to his house, in all honour and worship, and he garreth the money returned be carried before him, whilst he blesseth me and all who are with him also bless me. So is it bruited abroad in the city that I have restored to him his monies and he himself notifieth the like, to the intent that he may have a claim on me for the favour due to those who praise me. On this wise I keep half his property. Then I seem to forget him till the year[FN#374] hath pa.s.sed over him, when I send for him and recall to him somewhat of that which hath befallen aforetime and require of him somewhat of money in secret; accordingly he doth this and hasteneth to his house and forwardeth whatso I bid him, with a contented heart. Then I send to another man, between whom and the first is enmity, and lay hands upon him and feign to the other man that it is he who hath slandered him to the king and hath taken the half of his good; and the people praise me."[FN#375]

The King wondered at this and at his wily dealing and clever contrivance and made him controller of all his affairs and of his kingdom and the land was placed under his governance, and he said to him, "Take and people." [FN#376] One day, the t.i.ther went out and saw an old man, a woodcutter, and with him wood; so he said to him, "Pay a dirham t.i.the for thy load." Quoth the Shaykh, "Behold, thou killest me and killest my family;" and quoth the t.i.ther, "What? Who killeth the folk?" And the oldster answered, "An thou let me enter the city, I shall there sell the load for three dirhams, whereof I will give thee one and buy with the other two silvers what will support my family; but, an thou press me for the t.i.the outside the city, the load will sell but for one dirham and thou wilt take it and I shall abide without food, I and my family. Indeed, thou and I in this circ.u.mstance are like unto David and Solomon (on the twain be the Peace!)" "How so?"

asked the t.i.ther, and the woodcutter answered, "Do thou hear

The Story of David and Solomon.

Certain husbandmen once made complaint to David (on whom be the Peace!) against some sheep-owners, whose flocks had come down upon their crops by night and had devoured them, and he bade value the crops and that the shepherds should make good the damage. But Solomon (on whom be the Peace!) rose and said, "Nay, but let the sheep be delivered to the husbandmen, so they may take their milk and wool, till they have recouped the value of their crops; then let the sheep return to their owners."

Accordingly David reversed his own decision and caused execute that of Solomon; yet was David no oppressor; but Solomon's judgment was the juster and he showed himself therein better versed in jurisprudence and Holy Law.[FN#377] When the t.i.ther heard the old man's speech, he felt ruthful and said to him, "O Shaykh, I make thee a gift of that which is due from thee, and do thou cleave to me and leave me not, so haply I may get of thee gain which shall do away from me my wrongousness and guide me on the path of righteousness." So the old man followed him, and there met him another with a load of wood. Quoth the t.i.ther to him, "Pay me that which thou owest me;" and quoth he, "Have patience with me till to-morrow, for I owe the hire of a house, and I will sell another load of fuel and pay thee two days'

t.i.the." But he refused him this and the Shaykh said to him, "An thou constrain him unto this, thou wilt compel him quit thy country, because he is a stranger here and hath no domicile; and if he remove on account of one dirham, thou wilt forfeit of him three hundred and sixty dirhams a year.[FN#378] Thus wilt thou lose the mickle in keeping the little." Quoth the t.i.ther, "Verily[FN#379] will I give him a dirham every month to the rent of his lodging." Then he went on and presently there met him a third woodcutter and he said to him, "Pay thy due;" but he said, "I will pay thee a dirham, when I enter the city; or take of me four daniks[FN#380] now." Quoth the t.i.ther, "I will not do it,"

but the Shaykh said to him, "Take of him the four daniks presently, for 'tis easy to take and hard to give back."

Exclaimed the t.i.ther, "By Allah 'tis good!" and he arose and hied on, crying out at the top of his voice and saying, "I have no power this day to do evil."[FN#381] Then he doffed his dress and went forth wandering at a venture, repenting unto his Lord. "Nor"

(continued the Wazir), "is this story stranger than that of the Robber who believed the Woman and sought refuge with Allah against falling in with her like, by reason of her cunning contrivance for herself." When the king heard this, he said to himself, "Since the t.i.ther repented, in consequence of the woodcutter's warnings, it behoveth I leave this Wazir on life so I may hear the story of the Robber and the Woman." And he bade Al-Rahwan return to his lodging.

The Eleventh Night of the Month.

When the evening came and the king had taken his seat, he summoned the Wazir and required of him the story of the Robber and the Woman. Quoth the Minister, "Hear, O king,

The Tale of the Robber and the Woman.

A certain Robber was a cunning workman and used not to steal aught, till he had wasted all that was with him; moreover, he stole not from his neighbours, neither companied with any of the thieves, for fear lest some one should betray him, and his case become public. After this fashion he abode a great while, in flourishing condition, and his secret was concealed, till Almighty Allah decreed that he broke in upon a beggar, a poor man whom he deemed rich. When he gained access to the house, he found naught, whereat he was wroth, and necessity prompted him to wake that man, who lay asleep alongside of his wife. So he aroused him and said to him, "Show me thy treasure." Now he had no treasure to show; but the Robber believed him not and was instant upon him with threats and blows. When he saw that he got no profit of him, he said to him, "Swear by the oath of divorce[FN#382] from thy wife that thou hast nothing." So he sware and his wife said to him, "Fie on thee! Wilt thou divorce me? Is not the h.o.a.rd buried in yonder chamber?" Then she turned to the Robber and conjured him to be weightier of blows upon her husband, till he should deliver to him the treasure, anent which he had forsworn himself.

So he drubbed him with a grievous drubbing, till he carried him to a certain chamber, wherein she signed to him that the h.o.a.rd was and that he should take it up. So the Robber entered, he and the husband; and when they were both in the chamber, she locked on them the door, which was a stout and strong, and said to the Robber, "Woe to thee, O fool! Thou hast fallen into the trap and now I have but to cry out and the officers of police will come and take thee and thou wilt lose thy life, O Satan!" Quoth he, "Let me go forth;" and quoth she, "Thou art a man and I am a woman; and in thy hand is a knife, and I am afraid of thee." He cried, "Take the knife from me." So she took it and said to her husband, "Art thou a woman and he a man? Pain his neck-nape with tunding, even as he tunded thee; and if he put out his hand to thee, I will cry out a single cry and the policemen will come and take him and hew him in two." So the husband said to him, "O thousand-horned,[FN#383] O dog, O dodger, I owe thee a deposit[FN#384] wherefor thou hast dunned me." And he fell to bashing him grievously with a stick of holm-oak,[FN#385] whilst he called out to the woman for help and prayed her to deliver him: but she said, "Keep thy place till the morning, and thou shalt see queer things." And her husband beat him within the chamber, till he killed[FN#386] him and he swooned away. Then he left beating him and when the Robber came to himself, the woman said to her husband, "O man, this house is on hire and we owe its owners much money, and we have naught; so how wilt thou do?" And she went on to bespeak him thus. The Robber asked "And what is the amount of the rent?" ?The husband answered, "'Twill be eighty dirhams;" and the thief said, "I will pay this for thee and do thou let me go my way." Then the wife enquired, "O man, how much do we owe the baker and the greengrocer?" Quoth the Robber, "What is the sum of this?" And the husband said, "Sixty dirhams."

Rejoined the other, "That makes two hundred dirhams; let me go my way and I will pay them." But the wife said, O my dear, and the girl groweth up and needs must we marry her and equip her and do what else is needful." So the Robber said to the husband, "How much dost thou want?" and he rejoined, "An hundred dirhams in a modest way."[FN#387] Quoth the Robber, "That maketh three hundred dirhams." Then the woman said, "O my dear, when the girl is married, thou wilt need money for winter expenses, charcoal and firewood and other necessaries." The Robber asked "What wouldst thou have?" And she answered, "An hundred dirhams." He rejoined, "Be it four hundred dirhams." And she continued, "O my dear and O coolth of mine eyes, needs must my husband have capital in hand,[FN#388] wherewith he may buy goods and open him a shop."

Said he, "How much will that be?" And she, "An hundred dirhams."

Quoth the Robber, "That maketh five hundred dirhams; I will pay it; but may I be triply divorced from my wife if all my possessions amount to more than this, and they be the savings of twenty years! Let me go my way, so I may deliver them to thee."

Cried she, "O fool, how shall I let thee go thy way? Utterly impossible! Be pleased to give me a right token."[FN#389] So he gave her a token for his wife and she cried out to her young daughter and said to her, "Keep this door." Then she charge her husband to watch over the Robber, till she should return, and repairing to his wife, acquainted her with his case and told her that her husband the thief had been taken and had compounded for his release, at the price of seven hundred dirhams, and named to her the token. Accordingly, she gave her the money and she took it and returned to her house. By this time, the dawn had dawned; so she let the thief go his way, and when he went out, she said to him, "O my dear, when shall I see thee come and take the treasure?" And he, "O indebted one,[FN#390] when thou needest other seven hundred dirhams, wherewith to amend thy case and that of thy children and to pay thy debts." And he went out, hardly believing in his deliverance from her. "Nor," continued the Wazir, "is this stranger than the story of the Three Men and our Lord isa." So the king bade him hie to his own home.

The Twelfth Night of the Month.

When it was eventide, the king summoned the Minister and bade him tell the promised tale. He replied, "Hearing and obeying. Give ear, O glorious king, to

The Tale of the Three Men and our Lord Isa.

Three men once went out questing treasure and came upon a nugget of gold, weighing fifty maunds.[FN#391] When they saw it, they took it up on their shoulders and carried it till they drew near a certain city, when one of them said, "Let us sit in the cathedral-mosque,[FN#392] whilst one of us shall go and buy us what we may eat." So they sat down in the mosque and one of them arose and entered the city. When he came therein, his soul prompted him to false his two fellows and get the gold to himself alone. Accordingly, he bought food and poisoned it: but, when he returned to his comrades, they sprang upon him and slew him, in order that they might enjoy the gold without him. Then they ate of the poisoned food and died, and the gold lay cast down over against them. Presently, isa bin Maryam (on whom be the Peace!) pa.s.sed by and seeing this, besought Allah Almighty for tidings of their case; so He told him what had betided them, whereat great was his surprise and he related to his disciples[FN#393] what he had seen. Quoth one of them, "O Spirit of Allah,[FN#394] naught resembleth this but my own adventure." Quoth Isa, "How so?" and the other began to tell

The Disciple's Story.

Once I was in such a city, where I hid a thousand dirhams in a monastery. After a while, I went thither and taking the money, bound it about my waist. Then I set out to return and when I came to the Sahara[FN#395]-waste, the carrying of the money was heavy upon me. Presently, I espied a horseman pushing on after me; so I waited till he came up and said to him, "O rider, carry this money for me and earn reward and recompense in Heaven." Said he, "No, I will not do it, for I should tire myself and tire out my horse." Then he went on but, before he had gone far, he said in his mind, "An I take up the money and put my steed to speed and devance him, how shall he overtake me?" And I also said in my mind, "Verily, I erred; for, had he taken the money and made off, what could I have done?" Then he turned back to me and cried to me, "Hand over the money, that I may carry it for thee." But I replied to him, "That which hath occurred to thy mind hath occurred to mine also; so go thou and go safe." Quoth Isa (on whom be the Peace!), "Had these done prudently, they had taken thought for themselves; but they unheeded the issues of events; for that whoso acteth cautiously is safe and winneth his wish, and whoso neglecteth precaution is lost and repenteth."[FN#396]

"Nor," continued the Wazir, "is this stranger or rarer than the story of the King, whose kingdom was restored to him and his wealth, after he had become poor, possessing not a single dirham." When the king heard this, he said in himself, "How like is this to my own story in the matter of the Minister and his slaughter! Had I not used deliberation, I had done him dead." And he bade AlRahwan hie to his own home.

The Thirteenth Night of the Month.

When the even evened, the king sent for the Wazir to his sitting-chamber and bade him tell the promised tale. So he said, "Hearkening and obedience. They relate, O king,

The Tale of the Dethroned Ruler Whose Reign and Wealth Were Restored to Him.

There was once, in a city of the cities of Al-Hind, a just king and a beneficent, and he had a Wazir, a man of understanding, upright in his rede, and praiseworthy in his policy, a Minister in whose hand was the handling of all the affairs of the realm; for he was firmly based on the Sultan's favour and high in esteem with the folk of his time, and the king set great store by him and entrusted himself to him in all his transactions, by reason of his excellent management of the lieges, and he had guards[FN#397] who were content with him and grateful to him. Now that king had a brother, who envied him and would lief have taken his place; and when he was a-weary of looking for his death and the term of his life seemed distant, he took counsel with certain of his partisans and they said, "The Minister is the monarch's counsellor and but for this Wazir the king were kingdomless." So the pretender cast about for the ruin of the defender, but could find no means of furthering his design; and when the affair grew longsome upon him, he said to his wife, "What deemest thou will gar us gain herein?" "What is it?" "I mean in the matter of yonder Minister, who inciteth my brother to worship with all his might and biddeth him unto devoutness, and indeed the king doteth upon his counsel and stablisheth him governor of all monies and matters." "True; but how shall we devise with him?" "I have a device, so thou wilt help me in that which I shall say to thee."

"Thou shalt have my help in whatsoever thou desirest." "I mean to dig him a pit in the vestibule and conceal it artfully."

Accordingly, he did this, and when it was night, he covered the pit with a light covering, so that, when the Wazir trod upon it, it would give way under his tread. Then he sent to him and summoned him to the Court in the king's name, and the messenger bade him enter by the private wicket-way. So he came in alone, and when he stepped upon the covering of the pit, it caved in with him and he fell to the bottom; whereupon the king's brother fell to pelting him with stones. When the Minister beheld what had betided him he gave himself up for lost; so he stirred not for a while and lay still. The Prince, seeing him make no sign, deemed him dead; so he took him forth and wrapping him up in his robes, cast him into the surges of the sea in the middle night.

When the Wazir felt the water, he awoke from the swoon and swam for an hour or so, till a ship pa.s.sed by him, whereupon he shouted to the sailors and they took him up. Now when the morning morrowed, the people went seeking for him, but found him not; and the king learning this, was perplexed concerning his affair and abode unknowing whatso he should do. Then he sought for a Minister to stand in his stead, and the king's brother said, "I have for Wazir an efficient man." Said the king, "Bring him to me." So he brought him a man, whom he set at the head of affairs; but he seized upon the kingdom and threw the king in fetters and made his brother king in lieu of him. The new ruler gave himself up to all manner of frowardness, whereat the folk murmured and his Minister said to him, "I fear lest the Hindians take the old king and restore him to the kingship and we both come to ruin: so, if we seize him and cast him into the sea, we shall be at rest from him; and we will publish among the folk that he is dead." And they, agreeing upon this, took him up and carrying him out to sea, cast him in. When he felt the water, he struck out, and ceased not swimming till he landed upon an island, where he tarried five days finding nothing which he might eat or drink; but, on the sixth day, when he despaired of his life, behold, there pa.s.sed a ship; so he made signals to the crew and they came and took him up and fared on with him to an inhabited country, where they set him ash.o.r.e, mother-naked as he was. There, seeing a man seeding, he sought guidance of him and the husbandman asked, "Art thou a foreigner?" "Yes," answered the king and sat with him and they talked. The peasant found him clever and quick-witted and said to him, "An thou beheld a comrade of mine, thou wouldst see him the like of what I see thee, for his case is even as thy case, and he is at this present my friend." Quoth the king, "Verily, thou makest me long to look at him. Canst thou not bring us together, me and him?" Quoth the husbandman, "With joy and goodly gree;" and the king sat with him till he had made an end of his seeding, when he carried him to his homestead and brought him in company with the other stranger, and behold it was his Wazir. When each saw other, the twain wept and embraced, and the sower wept for their weeping; but the king hid their affair and said to him, "This man is from my mother-land and he is as my brother." So they homed with the husbandman and helped him for a hire, wherewith they supported themselves a long spell.

Meanwhile, they sought news of their patrial stead and learned that which its people suffered of straitness and severity. One day there came a ship and in it a merchant from their own country, who knew them and rejoiced in them with joy exceeding and clad them in goodly clothing. He also acquainted them with the manner of the treachery that had been practised upon them, and counselled them to return to their own land, they and he with whom they had made friends,[FN#398] a.s.suring them that Almighty Allah would restore them to their former rank. So the king returned and the folk joined themselves to him and he fell upon his brother and his Wazir and took them and threw them into jail.