The Book of Humorous Verse Part 192

COUNSEL TO THOSE THAT EAT

With chocolate-cream that you buy in the cake Large mouthfuls and hurry are quite a mistake.

Wise persons prolong it as long as they can But putting in practice this excellent plan.

The cream from the chocolate lining they dig With a Runaway match or a clean little twig.

Many hundreds,--nay, thousands--of scoopings they make Before they've exhausted a twopenny cake.

With ices 'tis equally wrongful to haste; You ought to go slowly and dwell on each taste.

Large mouthfuls are painful, as well as unwise, For they lead to an ache at the back of the eyes.

And the delicate sip is e'en better, one finds, If the ice is a mixture of different kinds.

_Unknown._

HOME AND MOTHER

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; Mother is with thee, By, baby, by.

There, baby. (Oh, how the wild winds wail!) Hush, baby. (Turning to sleet and hail; Ah, how the pine-tree moans and mutters!-- I wonder if Ellen will think of the shutters?)

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; Mother is with thee, By, baby, by.

Rest thee. (She couldn't have left the blower Down in the parlor? There's so much to show her!) By-by, my sweetest. (Now the rain's pouring!

Is it wind or the dining-room fire that's roaring?)

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; Mother is with thee, By, baby, by.

How lovely his forehead!--my own blessed pet!

He's nearly asleep. (Now I mustn't forget That pork in the brine, and the stair-rods to-morrow.) Heaven shield him forever from trouble and sorrow!

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; Mother is with thee, By, baby, by.

Those dear little ringlets, so silky and bright!

(I do hope the m.u.f.fins will be nice and light.) How lovely he is! (Yes, she said she could fry.) Oh, what would I do if my baby should die!

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; Mother is with thee, By, baby, by.

That sweet little hand, and the soft, dimpled cheek!

Sleep, darling. (I'll have his clothes shortened this week.

How tightly he's holding my dress; I'm afraid He'll wake when I move. There! his bed isn't made!)

Sleep, my own darling, By, baby, by; In thy soft cradle Peacefully lie.

(He's settled at last. But I can't leave him so, Though I ought to be going this instant, I know.

There's everything standing and waiting down-stairs.

Ah me, but a mother is c.u.mbered with cares!)

_Mary Mapes Dodge._

LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE

Little Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay, An' wash the cups and saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away, An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep, An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep; An' all us other children, when the supper things is done, We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about, An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you Ef you Don't Watch Out!

Onc't there was a little boy wouldn't say his pray'rs-- An' when he went to bed at night, away up stairs, His mammy heerd him holler, an' his daddy heerd him bawl, An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wasn't there at all!

An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press, An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'wheres, I guess; But all they ever found was thist his pants an' roundabout!

An' the Gobble-uns'll git you Ef you Don't Watch Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin, An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin; An' onc't when they was "company," an' ole folks was there, She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!

An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide, They was two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side, An' they s.n.a.t.c.hed her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!

An' the Gobble-uns'll git you Ef you Don't Watch Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue, An' the lampwick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!

An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray, An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,-- You better mind yer parents, and yer teachers fond and dear, An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear, An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at cl.u.s.ters all about, Er the Gobble-uns'll git you Ef you Don't Watch Out!

_James Whitcomb Riley._

A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave a l.u.s.ter of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, _Dasher_! now, _Dancer_! now, _Prancer_ and _Vixen_!

On, _Comet_! on, _Cupid_! on, _Dunder_ and _Blitzen_!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now, dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas, too.

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes--how they twinkled!--his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a round little belly, That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle; But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "_Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night_!"

_Clement Clarke Moore._