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I FIND MURDER'D BY ROGUES _Sir Edmundburie G.o.dfry_.
MODERN DICTIONARY.
To ill.u.s.trate life at the present day, we insert the following whimsical Encyclopaedia of Manners at the Commencement of the Nineteenth Century!
_Age_ ... An infirmity n.o.body owns.
_At Home_ ... The domestic amus.e.m.e.nt of three hundred visitors in a small room, to yawn at each other.
_Bore_ ... Every thing one dislikes; it also means any person who talks of religion.
_Buying_ ... Ordering goods without purpose of paying.
_Chariot_ ... A vehicle for one's servants, the d.i.c.key being the seat for the ladies, and the coach-box for the gentleman.
_Charity_ ... A golden ticket to Catalani, or any other favourite performer.
_Coachman_ ... A gentleman or accomplished n.o.bleman.
_Common Sense_ ... A vulgar quality.
_Conscience_ ... Something to swear by.
_Day_ ... Night; or, strictly speaking, from ten in the evening to six in the morning.
_Debt_ ... A necessary evil.
_Decency_ ... Keeping up an appearance.
_Dress_ ... Half naked.
_Duty_ ... Doing as other people do.
_Economy_ ... Obsolete.
_Fashion_ ... The _Je ne scai quoi_ of excellence.
_Fortune_ ... The _Summum Bonum_.
_Friend_ ... Meaning not known.
_Highly-accomplished_ ... Reading music at sight, painting flowers for the borders of a screen, and a talent for guessing charades.
_Home_ ... Every one's house but your own.
_Honour_ ... Standing fire well.
_Hospitality_ ... Obsolete.
_Husband_ ... A person to pay your debts.
_Love_ ... The meaning not known, now that the ossification of the heart has become a fashionable disease; but the word is still to be found in novels and romances.
_Matrimony_ ... A bargain.
_Modest_ ... Sheepish.
_Morning_ ... From noon to sunset.
_Music_ ... Execution.
_New_ ... Delightful.
_Nonsense_ ... Polite conversation.
_Not at Home_ ... Sitting in your own drawing-room.
_Pay_ ... Only applied to visits.
_Piety_ ... Hypocrisy.
_Prodigality_ ... Generosity.
_Prudence_ ... Parsimony.
_Quiz_ ... Any inoffensive person, out of your own circle.
_Religion_ ... Occupying a seat in some genteel chapel.
_Spirit_ ... Contempt of decorum and morality.
_Style_ ... Splendid extravagance.
_Time_ ... Only regarded in music.
_Truth_ ... Meaning uncertain.
_Vice_ ... Any fault in horses, dogs, and servants.
_Wicked_ ... Irresistibly agreeable.
_World_ ... The circle of fashionable people when in town.
RECIPE FOR ESTABLISHING TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
In Pliny's Natural History, we find a curious recipe for making the ROMAN FRIENDSHIP, a cordial that was universally esteemed in those days, and very few families of any credit were without it. In the same place (he says) they were indebted to the Greeks for this recipe, who had it in the greatest perfection. The old Roman Friendship was a composition of several ingredients, of which the princ.i.p.al were:
