The American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion Part 23

"Acquiring knowledge under difficulties," replied another.

"Accomplishing ourselves in the Art Epistolary, by the study of models!"

returned a third.

And sure enough,--the table was strewed with cards, and notes, and an empty fancy-basket told where these sportive critics had obtained their materials. I soon gathered that the scrutiny f.a.n.n.y's note had undergone in the library, was the moving cause of this sudden resuscitation of defunct billet-doux and forgotten cards.

"Only look at this one, Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed a pretty girl opposite me, handing across a visiting card, with the name written with ink, in rather cramped characters, and surrounded with a variety of awkward attempts at ornamental flourishes. "Isn't that sufficient to condemn the perpetrator to 'durance vile' in the _paradise of fools_?"

"Well, here is a beautiful note, at any rate," exclaimed the eldest daughter of the house, "even papa would not find fault with this"--

"What are you saying about papa?" inquired the master of the mansion, pausing in his walk up and down the room, and leaning upon the back of his daughter's chair.

"Won't you join us, sir?" returned the young lady, making a motion to rise; "let me give you my seat."

"No, no, sit still, child--let us hear the note that you think unexceptionable."

"It is as simple as possible," said she, "but though it only relates to a matter of business, I remember noticing, when I opened it, the elegant writing and"----

"Well, let us hear it, my daughter."

Thus impelled, the fair reader began:

"Henry Wynkoop presents his respectful compliments to Miss Campbell, and begs leave to inform her that the goods for which she inquired, a few days since, have arrived, and are now ready for her inspection.

"240 MAIN ST., _Wednesday Morning, May 22d._"

"I should have said," added Miss Campbell, "that I had simply requested Mr. Wynkoop to send me word about some shawls, when any of the family happened in there, and did not think of troubling him to send a note."

"Let me see," said her father, taking the paper from her hand, "yes!

just what one might expect from that young fellow--fine, handsome, plain paper [a glance at poor f.a.n.n.y] and a neat modest seal--all because _a lady_ was in question; and one can read the writing as if it were print.

Look at it, Lunettes! A promising young merchant--a friend of ours, here. An _educated_ merchant--what every man should be, who wishes to succeed in mercantile life in this country."

"Yes," returned I, "ours is destined, if I do not greatly mistake, to be a land of _merchant princes_, like Venice of old, and I quite agree with you that American merchants should be _educated gentlemen_!"

"This young Wynkoop," continued my friend, "is destined yet to fill some s.p.a.ce in the world's eye, unless I have lost my power to judge of men.

He seems to find time for everything--the other evening he was here--(the girls had some young friends)--and, happening to step into the library, I found him standing with one of the book-cases open, and just reaching down a volume--'I beg your pardon, sir, if I intrude,'

said he, 'but I was going to look for a pa.s.sage in the "Deserted Village," as I am not so fortunate as to possess a copy of Goldsmith.'

Of course I a.s.sured him that the books were all at his service, and apologized for closing the door, and seating myself at my desk, saying that a rascally Canadian lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written that I could scarcely puzzle it out, and that his bad French was almost unintelligible at that. I confess I was surprised when he offered to a.s.sist me, saying very modestly, that nothing was more confusing than _patois_ to the uninitiated, but that he had chanced to have some experience in it. So he helped me out very cleverly, in spite of my protestations at his losing so much time, and when he found he could not aid me farther, looked up his lines, put back my book, and quietly bowing, slipped out of the room. When I went back to the girls, later in the evening, I heard my young friend singing with some lady, in a fine clear voice, and, soon after, discovered him in another room dancing, '_money musk_' with my own wife for his partner!"

While this little sketch was in progress of narration, the inspection of the miscellaneous display upon the table had been silently progressing.

And each pretty critic had made some discovery.

"Here is a 'regret' sent for the other night," said f.a.n.n.y, "what do you think of that, Col. Lunettes?" And a large sheet of note paper was put into my hand, clumsily folded, and containing only the words "Mr.

Augustus Simpkin regrets."

"A good deal is left for the imagination," I replied, "regrets what?"

"_That he is a numskull_, perhaps, but I fear there is not that encouragement for his improvement!" broke in the Chairman of this Committee of Investigation.

The general laugh that followed this spicy comment had no sooner subsided, than another note caught my eye, by its handsome penmanship.

Glancing it over, I handed it to one of the young ladies without comment. She 'looked unutterable things,' as she quietly refolded the missive, and was about to slip it out of sight; but the dancing eyes of the lively f.a.n.n.y had caught the whole movement, and she insisted upon what she called _fair play_. So the paper was again subjected to perusal--this time aloud.

BALTIMORE, _July 24, '61_.

"William Jones takes this means of making an apology for not calling for Miss Mary last evening. I a.s.sure you no offence was intended, and hope you did not take it so.

"Yours affectionately, "P. WILLIAM JONES.

"The MISS CAMPBELLS."

"How did that get into the card-basket?" exclaimed Miss Campbell, in consternation, "it ought to have been destroyed at the time"----

"It has risen up in judgment against the writer now," said f.a.n.n.y, "but he is much improved since then. He knows better now than to say 'the _Miss Campbells_', or"----

"Or sign himself 'Yours affectionately,' to a doc.u.ment commenced in the third person. So he does, child, and he proved himself essentially polite by writing the note--the hand is really very commendable. I have no doubt the young man will yet acquire considerable _note-ability_!"

And throwing the tell-tale paper into the fire, the charitable commentator proceeded in his walk.

"_A propos_"--"_A propos_" was echoed round the merry circle, as a servant handed a note to Miss Campbell.

"Miss f.a.n.n.y Campbell," read her sister, and resigned the billet to its rightful owner.

Every one protested that it should be common property, unless its contents were a secret; and the blushing, half-pouting beauty was constrained to open and inspect her note where she sat.

"I insist upon _fair play_ in Miss f.a.n.n.y's case, also," said I, coming to the rescue, "and shall do myself the honor of acting as her champion." With that I spread out her gossamer handkerchief, and throwing it over the top of my cane, affected to screen the rosy face beside me. Taking advantage of my _ruse_, my pretty favorite opened her note, and, partly retreating behind my broad shoulder, soon possessed herself of its contents.

"There," said she, throwing it into the middle of the table, "you may all read it and welcome!"

Brown heads and black, sunny curls and chestnut "bands," were immediately cl.u.s.tered together over the prize, and f.a.n.n.y, springing away, like a bird, was, in a moment, perched on an arm of the large chair in which her father was now ensconced, with her arm around his neck, and her beaming eyes glancing out from his snowy locks.

"Let Colonel Lunettes see it, you rude creatures!" exclaimed my lively favorite, from her retreat, and the note was immediately presented to me. Wiping my gla.s.ses with deliberation suitable to the occasion, I "pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart," and read as follows:

"It will afford Mr. Howard Parkman great pleasure to attend Miss f.a.n.n.y Campbell to a Concert to be given by the "Hungarian Family," to-morrow evening.

"If she will permit him that honor, Mrs. and Miss Parkman, accompanied by Mr. P., will call for Miss Campbell at half past seven o clock.

"COLEMAN ST., "_Tuesday P. M._"

"That's another rival for you, Colonel Lunettes," exclaimed one of the girls.

"I fear my doom is sealed!" returned the old soldier thus addressed, with an air of mock resignation. "But who is this formidable youth, Miss Campbell?"

"A Bostonian, I believe," replied the young lady; "cousin Charley introduced him to us at Mrs. Gay's ball the other evening, and asked us to call upon his mother and sister--they are friends of his. He was here this morning with cousin Charley, but we were out."

"How stylish!" said one of our critical circle, re-examining the elegant billet of the stranger.

"Quite _au fait_, too, you see, young ladies," I added, "he invites Miss f.a.n.n.y to go with a proper _chaperon_ to the concert, as he is so slightly acquainted with her."

As I limped across the room towards them, I heard my friend say to his daughter, who still retained her seat, "certainly, unless you prefer to go with Mr. Blakeman."