The Alchemist Part 9

MAM. Silver I care not for.

FACE. Yes, sir, a little to give beggars.

MAM. Where's the lady?

FACE. At hand here. I have told her such brave things of you, Touching your bounty, and your n.o.ble spirit -- MAM. Hast thou?

FACE. As she is almost in her fit to see you. But, good sir, no divinity in your conference, For fear of putting her in rage. -- MAM. I warrant thee.

FACE. Six men [sir] will not hold her down: and then, If the old man should hear or see you -- MAM. Fear not.

FACE. The very house, sir, would run mad. You know it, How scrupulous he is, and violent, 'Gainst the least act of sin. Physic, or mathematics, Poetry, state, or bawdry, as I told you, She will endure, and never startle; but No word of controversy.

MAM. I am school'd, good Ulen.

FACE. And you must praise her house, remember that, And her n.o.bility.

MAM. Let me alone: No herald, no, nor antiquary, Lungs, Shall do it better. Go.

FACE [ASIDE]. Why, this is yet A kind of modern happiness, to have Dol Common for a great lady.

[EXIT.]

MAM. Now, Epicure, Heighten thyself, talk to her all in gold; Rain her as many showers as Jove did drops Unto his Danae; shew the G.o.d a miser, Compared with Mammon. What! the stone will do't.

She shall feel gold, taste gold, hear gold, sleep gold; Nay, we will conc.u.mbere gold: I will be puissant, And mighty in my talk to her. -- [RE-ENTER FACE, WITH DOL RICHLY DRESSED.] Here she comes.

FACE. To him, Dol, suckle him. -- This is the n.o.ble knight, I told your ladyship -- MAM. Madam, with your pardon, I kiss your vesture.

DOL. Sir, I were uncivil If I would suffer that; my lip to you, sir.

MAM. I hope my lord your brother be in health, lady.

DOL. My lord, my brother is, though I no lady, sir.

FACE [ASIDE]. Well said, my Guinea bird.

MAM. Right n.o.ble madam -- FACE [ASIDE]. O, we shall have most fierce idolatry.

MAM. 'Tis your prerogative.

DOL. Rather your courtesy.

MAM. Were there nought else to enlarge your virtues to me, These answers speak your breeding and your blood.

DOL. Blood we boast none, sir, a poor baron's daughter.

MAM. Poor! and gat you? profane not. Had your father Slept all the happy remnant of his life After that act, lien but there still, and panted, He had done enough to make himself, his issue, And his posterity n.o.ble.

DOL. Sir, although We may be said to want the gilt and trappings, The dress of honour, yet we strive to keep The seeds and the materials.

MAM. I do see The old ingredient, virtue, was not lost, Nor the drug money used to make your compound. There is a strange n.o.bility in your eye, This lip, that chin! methinks you do resemble One of the Austriac princes.

FACE. Very like! [ASIDE.] Her father was an Irish costermonger.

MAM. The house of Valois just had such a nose, And such a forehead yet the Medici Of Florence boast.

DOL. Troth, and I have been liken'd To all these princes.

FACE [ASIDE]. I'll be sworn, I heard it.

MAM. I know not how! it is not any one, But e'en the very choice of all their features.

FACE [ASIDE]. I'll in, and laugh.

[EXIT.]

MAM. A certain touch, or air, That sparkles a divinity, beyond An earthly beauty!

DOL. O, you play the courtier.

MAM. Good lady, give me leave -- DOL. In faith, I may not, To mock me, sir.

MAM. To burn in this sweet flame; The phoenix never knew a n.o.bler death.

DOL. Nay, now you court the courtier, and destroy What you would build. This art, sir, in your words, Calls your whole faith in question.

MAM. By my soul -- DOL. Nay, oaths are made of the same air, sir.

MAM. Nature Never bestow'd upon mortality A more unblamed, a more harmonious feature; She play'd the step-dame in all faces else: Sweet Madam, let me be particular -- DOL. Particular, sir! I pray you know your distance.

MAM. In no ill sense, sweet lady; but to ask How your fair graces pa.s.s the hours? I see You are lodged here, in the house of a rare man, An excellent artist; but what's that to you?

DOL. Yes, sir; I study here the mathematics, And distillation.

MAM. O, I cry your pardon. He's a divine instructor! can extract The souls of all things by his art; call all The virtues, and the miracles of the sun, Into a temperate furnace; teach dull nature What her own forces are. A man, the emperor Has courted above Kelly; sent his medals And chains, to invite him.

DOL. Ay, and for his physic, sir -- MAM. Above the art of Aesculapius, That drew the envy of the thunderer! I know all this, and more.

DOL. Troth, I am taken, sir, Whole with these studies, that contemplate nature.

MAM. It is a n.o.ble humour; but this form Was not intended to so dark a use. Had you been crooked, foul, of some coa.r.s.e mould A cloister had done well; but such a feature That might stand up the glory of a kingdom, To live recluse! is a mere soloecism, Though in a nunnery. It must not be. I muse, my lord your brother will permit it: You should spend half my land first, were I he. Does not this diamond better on my finger, Than in the quarry?

DOL. Yes.

MAM. Why, you are like it. You were created, lady, for the light. Here, you shall wear it; take it, the first pledge Of what I speak, to bind you to believe me.

DOL. In chains of adamant?

MAM. Yes, the strongest bands. And take a secret too -- here, by your side, Doth stand this hour, the happiest man in Europe.

DOL. You are contended, sir!

MAM. Nay, in true being, The envy of princes and the fear of states.

DOL. Say you so, sir Epicure?

MAM. Yes, and thou shalt prove it, Daughter of honour. I have cast mine eye Upon thy form, and I will rear this beauty Above all styles.

DOL. You mean no treason, sir?

MAM. No, I will take away that jealousy. I am the lord of the philosopher's stone, And thou the lady.

DOL. How, sir! have you that?

MAM. I am the master of the mystery. This day the good old wretch here o' the house Has made it for us: now he's at projection. Think therefore thy first wish now, let me hear it; And it shall rain into thy lap, no shower, But floods of gold, whole cataracts, a deluge, To get a nation on thee.

DOL. You are pleased, sir, To work on the ambition of our s.e.x.

MAM. I am pleased the glory of her s.e.x should know, This nook, here, of the Friars is no climate For her to live obscurely in, to learn Physic and surgery, for the constable's wife Of some odd hundred in Ess.e.x; but come forth, And taste the air of palaces; eat, drink The toils of empirics, and their boasted practice; Tincture of pearl, and coral, gold, and amber; Be seen at feasts and triumphs; have it ask'd, What miracle she is; set all the eyes Of court a-fire, like a burning gla.s.s, And work them into cinders, when the jewels Of twenty states adorn thee, and the light Strikes out the stars! that when thy name is mention'd, Queens may look pale; and we but shewing our love, Nero's Poppaea may be lost in story! Thus will we have it.

DOL. I could well consent, sir. But, in a monarchy, how will this be? The prince will soon take notice, and both seize You and your stone, it being a wealth unfit For any private subject.

MAM. If he knew it.

DOL. Yourself do boast it, sir.

MAM. To thee, my life.

DOL. O, but beware, sir! You may come to end The remnants of your days in a loth'd prison, By speaking of it.

MAM. 'Tis no idle fear. We'll therefore go withal, my girl, and live In a free state, where we will eat our mullets, Soused in high-country wines, sup pheasants' eggs, And have our c.o.c.kles boil'd in silver sh.e.l.ls; Our shrimps to swim again, as when they liv'd, In a rare b.u.t.ter made of dolphins' milk, Whose cream does look like opals; and with these Delicate meats set ourselves high for pleasure, And take us down again, and then renew Our youth and strength with drinking the elixir, And so enjoy a perpetuity Of life and l.u.s.t! And thou shalt have thy wardrobe Richer than nature's, still to change thy self, And vary oftener, for thy pride, than she, Or art, her wise and almost-equal servant.

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Sir, you are too loud. I hear you every word Into the laboratory. Some fitter place; The garden, or great chamber above. How like you her?

MAM. Excellent! Lungs. There's for thee.

[GIVES HIM MONEY.]

FACE. But do you hear? Good sir, beware, no mention of the rabbins.

MAM. We think not on 'em.

[EXEUNT MAM. AND DOL.]

FACE. O, it is well, sir. -- Subtle! [ENTER SUBTLE.] Dost thou not laugh?

SUB. Yes; are they gone?

FACE. All's clear.

SUB. The widow is come.

FACE. And your quarrelling disciple?

SUB. Ay.

FACE. I must to my captainship again then.

SUB. Stay, bring them in first.

FACE. So I meant. What is she? A bonnibel?

SUB. I know not.

FACE. We'll draw lots: You'll stand to that?

SUB. What else?

FACE. O, for a suit, To fall now like a curtain, flap!

SUB. To the door, man.

FACE. You'll have the first kiss, 'cause I am not ready.

[EXIT.]

SUB. Yes, and perhaps. .h.i.t you through both the nostrils.

FACE [WITHIN]. Who would you speak with?

KAS [WITHIN]. Where's the captain?

FACE [WITHIN]. Gone, sir, About some business.

KAS [WITHIN]. Gone!

FACE [WITHIN]. He'll return straight. But master doctor, his lieutenant, is here.

[ENTER KASTRIL, FOLLOWED BY DAME PLIANT.]

SUB. Come near, my worshipful boy, my terrae fili, That is, my boy of land; make thy approaches: Welcome; I know thy l.u.s.ts, and thy desires, And I will serve and satisfy them. Begin, Charge me from thence, or thence, or in this line; Here is my centre: ground thy quarrel.

KAS. You lie.

SUB. How, child of wrath and anger! the loud lie? For what, my sudden boy?