The Alchemist Part 16

FACE. Drugger is at the door, go take his suit, And bid him fetch a parson, presently; Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend A hundred pound by the service! [EXIT SUBTLE.] Now, queen Dol, Have you pack'd up all?

DOL. Yes.

FACE. And how do you like The lady Pliant?

DOL. A good dull innocent.

[RE-ENTER SUBTLE.]

SUB. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat.

FACE. Give me them.

SUB. And the ruff too?

FACE. Yes; I'll come to you presently.

[EXIT.]

SUB. Now he is gone about his project, Dol, I told you of, for the widow.

DOL. 'Tis direct Against our articles.

SUB. Well, we will fit him, wench. Hast thou gull'd her of her jewels or her bracelets?

DOL. No; but I will do't.

SUB. Soon at night, my Dolly, When we are shipp'd, and all our goods aboard, Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word, And take our leaves of this o'er-weening rascal, This peremptory Face.

DOL. Content, I'm weary of him.

SUB. Thou'st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol, Against the instrument that was drawn between us.

DOL. I'll pluck his bird as bare as I can.

SUB. Yes, tell her, She must by any means address some present To the cunning man, make him amends for wronging His art with her suspicion; send a ring, Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things Come to her. Wilt thou?

DOL. Yes.

SUB. My fine flitter-mouse, My bird o' the night! we'll tickle it at the Pigeons, When we have all, and may unlock the trunks, And say, this's mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.

[THEY KISS.]

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. What now! a billing?

SUB. Yes, a little exalted In the good pa.s.sage of our stock-affairs.

FACE. Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle, And send Nab back again to wash his face.

SUB. I will: and shave himself?

[EXIT.]

FACE. If you can get him.

DOL. You are hot upon it, Face, whate'er it is!

FACE. A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by. [RE-ENTER SUBTLE.] Is he gone?

SUB. The chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.

FACE. I'll go bestow him.

[EXIT.]

DOL. He'll now marry her, instantly.

SUB. He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol, Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him Is no deceit, but justice, that would break Such an inextricable tie as ours was.

DOL. Let me alone to fit him.

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Come, my venturers, You have pack'd up all? where be the trunks? bring forth.

SUB. Here.

FACE. Let us see them. Where's the money?

SUB. Here, In this.

FACE. Mammon's ten pound; eight score before: The brethren's money, this. Drugger's and Dapper's. What paper's that?

DOL. The jewel of the waiting maid's, That stole it from her lady, to know certain -- FACE. If she should have precedence of her mistress?

DOL. Yes.

FACE. What box is that?

SUB. The fish-wives' rings, I think, And the ale-wives' single money. Is't not, Dol?

DOL. Yes; and the whistle that the sailor's wife Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.

FACE. We'll wet it to-morrow; and our silver-beakers And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats, And girdles and hangers?

SUB. Here, in the trunk, And the bolts of lawn.

FACE. Is Drugger's damask there, And the tobacco?

SUB. Yes.

FACE. Give me the keys.

DOL. Why you the keys?

SUB. No matter, Dol; because We shall not open them before he comes.

FACE. 'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed; Nor have them forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol.

DOL. No!

FACE. No, my smock rampant. The right is, my master Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep them; Doctor, 'tis true -- you look -- for all your figures: I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners, Both he and she be satisfied; for here Determines the indenture tripart.i.te 'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do Is to help you over the wall, o' the back-side, Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol. Here will be officers presently, bethink you Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock: For thither you will come else. [LOUD KNOCKING.] Hark you, thunder.

SUB. You are a precious fiend!

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Open the door.

FACE. Dol, I am sorry for thee i'faith; but hear'st thou? It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere: Thou shalt have my letter to mistress Amo -- DOL. Hang you!

FACE. Or madam Caesarean.

DOL. Pox upon you, rogue, Would I had but time to beat thee!

FACE. Subtle, Let's know where you set up next; I will send you A customer now and then, for old acquaintance: What new course have you?

SUB. Rogue, I'll hang myself; That I may walk a greater devil than thou, And haunt thee in the flock-bed and the b.u.t.tery.

[EXEUNT.]

SCENE 5.3.

AN OUTER ROOM IN THE SAME.

ENTER LOVEWIT IN THE SPANISH DRESS, WITH THE PARSON.

LOUD KNOCKING AT THE DOOR.

LOVE. What do you mean, my masters?

MAM [WITHOUT]. Open your door, Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Or we will break it open.

LOVE. What warrant have you?

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not, If you'll not open it.

LOVE. Is there an officer, there?

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Yes, two or three for failing.

LOVE. Have but patience, And I will open it straight.

[ENTER FACE, AS BUTLER.]

FACE. Sir, have you done? Is it a marriage? perfect?

LOVE. Yes, my brain.

FACE. Off with your ruff and cloak then; be yourself, sir.

SUR [WITHOUT]. Down with the door.

KAS [WITHOUT]. 'Slight, ding it open.

LOVE [OPENING THE DOOR]. Hold, Hold, gentlemen, what means this violence?

[MAMMON, SURLY, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, AND OFFICERS, RUSH IN.]

MAM. Where is this collier?

SUR. And my captain Face?

MAM. These day owls.

SUR. That are birding in men's purses.

MAM. Madam suppository.

KAS. Doxy, my suster.

ANA. Locusts Of the foul pit.

TRI. Profane as Bel and the dragon.

ANA. Worse than the gra.s.shoppers, or the lice of Egypt.

LOVE. Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you officers, And cannot stay this violence?

1 OFFI. Keep the peace.

LOVE. Gentlemen, what is the matter? whom do you seek?

MAM. The chemical cozener.

SUR. And the captain pander.