Tempting Fate Part 17

*Could that be because it's all she's been talking about for the past month?'

Elliott laughs.

*We could buy it together,' Gabby says carefully. *It could be from both of us. Then we could each get something small to give to her individually. I have junky stuff for her stocking, but there's a craft set I know she's been looking at.'

*Stockings,' Elliott says thoughtfully, nodding his head. *I hadn't thought about stockings. I'm going to have to get some for my house. Where do I even get stockings from?'

*I don't know,' Gabby says, because she has had their stockings for years, each of them finely needlepointed with Christmas scenes, their names embroidered at the top. She has no idea where they came from, only that they appear to have been there for ever. *Do you think it would be weird for Santa to do two stockings each? I think it might be ... overkill. Which raises the point, how are we going to do Christmas this year?'

Elliott shrugs sadly. *Split up Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?'

*We could,' Gabby grudgingly admits, *but I think the girls would hate it. And honestly? I'd hate it. I know we aren't a family any more, but don't you think, for something like this, we could come together? Not for us, Elliott, and I know the last thing you probably want to do is spend Christmas with me, but this is a holiday for the girls; this has always been a holiday about the girls, and nothing would make them happier.'

*I don't know.' Elliott frowns. *I think it might confuse them.'

*What do you mean?'

*I don't want to give them false hope. It might make them think this means we're getting back together.'

*Oh no, no,' Gabby says quickly, pushing aside the pictures that were already invading her head: the four of them laughing over eggnog and spiced apple cider, her eyes and Elliott's meeting in a meaningfully soulful manner as they string popcorn, and Elliott realizing what a terrible mistake he had made in leaving, then starting to plot his way back into Gabby's heart. *They wouldn't think that at all, not if we made it quite clear. We both love them, and Christmas is a time for children to be with their parents. We could say we didn't want to force them to make a choice, so we have all come together for the love of the children ...' She tails off. *Something like that.'

Elliott doesn't say anything for a while. Eventually he nods, with a half-smile. *Okay,' he says, and a huge smile spreads on Gabby's face. *Christmas Eve. Your place. The Parka?' he asks, turning back to the coat. *Shall we do it together, then?'

*Absolutely.' Gabby is beaming. *I'll wrap it and it will be from us both.'

Chapter Twenty-Five.

*So how do you feel about all being together at Christmas?' Josephine says, leaning down to look at the handles on the chest Gabby had been restoring before leaning down became too c.u.mbersome.

*Honestly?' Gabby squeezes herself. *Thrilled. Excited. Nervous. I know Elliott. All he ever wanted was a family; nothing makes him happier than when we're all together. Add in all the Christmas joy and I think he'll realize how much he misses us. I think he'll see how much happier he is when we're all together, then he'll come home.'

*And you'll all live happily ever after?'

*Something like that.'

*Gabby, I hope you're right, but I'm worried you're getting your hopes up too much. What if it just means he's thinking about the children? What if it doesn't mean anything at all? Then you'll be left feeling horrible over the holidays.'

*I don't think I'm wrong,' Gabby says. *But even if I am, so what? I have a couple of depressed days before I pull myself together and life carries on exactly as it has before. I'm a big girl, growing bigger a' she gestures unhappily to her stomach a *and I can deal with it. It just might be an opportunity. I kind of told myself that if he said no, there'd be no hope, but if he said yes, it meant we'd get back together again.'

Josephine laughs. *That's about as random as telling yourself if the lights stay green something will happen.'

*I do that all the time!' Gabby says. *And they almost always do!'

*So you're convinced you and Elliott are going to get back together?'

*I wouldn't say that, but we have been getting on well recently, better than we have done for ages. It was a little awkward when I ran into him Christmas shopping, but that was only because neither of us expected to see the other. I really think he might be forgiving me, and I can't believe he has stopped loving me. I don't think you can switch off like that. I really don't.'

*Do you still love him?'

*Oh my G.o.d! Yes!' Gabby looks at her friend in horror. *As if there could be any doubt. Anyway, enough about me. What are you doing for Christmas? Is James here?'

Josephine comes to sit next to Gabby, exhaling loudly. *Oh I don't know. It's all up in the air again. He went AWOL last weekend and now he says he loves me but he's not ready.' She shakes her head. *The thing is, I know he's going to be on the phone again next week saying how much he misses me and that he can't live without me. I love him, but this is exhausting. I don't know how much longer I can do this.'

*I've told you before, many, many times, you shouldn't be doing this. It's time to move on, and you need to be the one to say it because James clearly doesn't have the strength to do it himself.'

*I know, I know.' Josephine sighs. *I wish you weren't pregnant.'

*Me too,' says Gabby, and Josephine laughs.

*No, seriously. If you weren't pregnant I could get a babysitter for the boys and we could go out and do the singles scene together. I keep hearing that if you're single and our age you need to be out at the Spotted Horse, or Grey Goose, or Artisan, but I don't have anyone to go with. Mich.e.l.le from the divorce support group apparently goes all the time, but I can't go with her or no one will even look at me.'

*She is gorgeous,' murmurs Gabby.

*Exactly.'

*And I am hugely fat and swollen, so everyone would look at you.'

*Exactly,' Josephine says, in precisely the same tone, and they both laugh. *Are you sure you won't come with me?'

*Not only will I not come with you, but I don't think you should be going. Trust me, you're not going to meet the sort of man who's going to take your mind off James in a bar of all places.'

*So where am I going to meet him?'

*Where you're least expecting it. You'll probably meet him when you're engrossed in something with your sons, when you've forgotten all about men and you've decided to swear off relationships completely.'

*But that's never going to happen. What about you? If you and Elliott don't get back together what will you do?'

Gabby grimaces. *G.o.d only knows. I can hardly bear to think about it. Thank heavens he hasn't started divorce proceedings yet a naturally, that gives me some hope a but if that is to happen ... Lord. I'd have to get a job, I suppose. And one that pays enough to cover childcare for the baby.' She shudders in horror and shakes her head. *This was not how my life was supposed to turn out, let me tell you.'

*Why don't you sell your furniture?' Josephine gestures at the unfinished pieces dotted around the barn. *You could turn this into a store and sell from here. Imagine, you'd keep the overheads down, get to do something you love, and make money doing it. These pieces cost you nothing, right? Don't you find most of them in dumpsters?'

Gabby laughs. *Not most a but it's true that I have found some of my best pieces in dumpsters or at the dump.'

*So? Isn't that the obvious thing to do?'

*Funny. My friend Claire always said the same thing. Exactly that, that I should clean this place up and give it a great name, then open it to friends. I couldn't open it to the public as we're not zoned for commercial use, but I could do open-house sales and invite everyone on the mailing list.'

*There you go! That's a great idea! And you should take advantage of the fact that everyone's probably talking about you, so if you manage to do it soon a ton of people would show up.'

Gabby's face falls. *Do you really think everyone's talking about me?'

*I do. Sorry. It's part Schadenfreude, delighting in someone else's misfortune, and part relief that their marriage is okay. I think that's why everyone abandons you when you get divorced. Your crumbling marriage, when they thought you two were so perfect together, reminds them of the fragility of their own marriage, and each time they see you they feel a sliver of fear that this could so easily happen to them too.'

*How do you deal with it?'

*Same way as you. By becoming more of a hermit. And by keeping my cards very close to my chest. You wouldn't believe the number of people who have phoned expressing sympathy and concern because they heard Chris and I have split up, who then get angry and resentful because I don't fall apart on their shoulder, or confide my pain in them.'

*That's why you decided to make me your new best friend.' Gabby grins. *I'm safe because I don't know anyone you know.'

*True. And because you f.u.c.ked up as badly as I did. Not that leaving Chris was a f.u.c.k-up, but, well, you know ... James and all the drama around that. I know how dysfunctional this relationship is, and I'm desperate to get out, but I'm terrified of being on my own, a single parent.'

*Okay, I'll make you a promise. After the baby comes, after I get my figure back, I'll consider coming to a bar with you. Just once, just to prove that a bar is not where you will find your future love. But I will come, and we will drink Martinis, and we will have fun. How's that?'

*Good enough for now. And in return,' Josephine surveys the barn, *I'll help you get this place together.'

Gabby's face lights up. *Really? You'd do that for me?'

*Of course. That's what friends are for.'

Gabby endures the stores one more time before Christmas. Elliott has long been in love with watches. He has an ancient Patek Philippe that was pa.s.sed down to him by his grandfather, and a couple of other watches that he loves. He always said to Gabby that if he had the money he would collect watches. One year she bought him a box in which to house his future collection: mahogany, with automatic turners so the watches never stop.

Gabby had sold a couple of pieces, back before the size of her stomach and general feeling of c.r.a.ppiness stopped her from further restoration, and she put the money aside. Walking into Mitch.e.l.l's now, she goes straight to the display of watches, knowing exactly which one to get. It is still there, in the same spot as when she and Elliott were here ten months ago, when Elliott insisted on trying it on, gazing at it in awe, wanting so badly to buy it.

*In the future,' Gabby whispered to him, wishing their expenses weren't so great, or they lived in a part of the country where the cost of living is lower than it is here.

When the salesman takes the watch from the display, telling her of the history of the company and explaining how special this particular example is, she can no longer remember the price of the watch, only that it was beyond her wildest dreams. But she flinches as she turns the price tag over and sees it is so very much more than she thought.

So very much more than she brought.

But there are credit cards. And future earnings. Josephine has been as good as her word, and has been at the barn every morning, filling her car with useless junk and driving it to the dump, helping Gabby sweep out the dust and whitewash the walls, thereby turning the barn into a s.p.a.ce clean and bright, a s.p.a.ce in which you'd want to linger. Gabby wanted to call it The Dumpster Dive, but Josephine wouldn't hear of it.

*I know you find stuff in dumpsters but you don't want anyone else to know it. How do you expect people to pay eight hundred dollars for something if they know you got it for free?'

*Because I broke my back stripping, restoring and painting it?' grumbled Gabby.

*Doesn't matter. You have to have a story. Tell them you import faded antique pieces from England, restoring them in your New England barn.'

*It's not really New England,' Gabby said, impressed. *It's Westport.'

*Still counts. From Old England to New England,' Josephine declared dramatically. *A piece of the old country.'

*That's what we should call it! The Old Country!'

*I love it!' Josephine said. *Perfect!'

They haven't opened yet, but they will, and Josephine, who seems to have become an official partner, is convinced they will sell everything. Living in New Canaan, she has access to a whole new crowd of girls, all of whom, she says, will love it.

*I thought no one was talking to you?'

*No. I'm not talking to them. They're all dying to find out what's going on. Trust me, they'll come.'

Gabby turns the watch over in her hands, mentally doing the calculations. If she put it on the credit card and sold five more pieces, that would cover it. And if she didn't sell the pieces? She could sell her engagement ring. She hasn't worn it for years anyway, never comfortable with the large solitaire diamond that seemed so essential at the time.

What if none of this works out? What if she and Elliott get divorced? Does she really want to be spending this kind of money? Yes, she decides. She loves him, has always loved him, and without doubt will always love him. This watch is her way of letting him know that. This gift will tell him know how sorry she is, and that, despite her transgressions and whatever mistakes she has made, she still loves him very deeply.

*I'll take it,' she says, her heart pounding. She is unable to believe she is spending quite so much money.

*An excellent choice,' he says. *Your husband will love it. He's a lucky man.'

Gabby smiles sadly. There is nothing else to say.

Chapter Twenty-Six.

Each year Gabby, Elliott and the girls go to Maple Row Farm for their Christmas tree, where they insist on traipsing through the fields in search of exactly the right uncut tree, despite the fact that there are lines of perfect trees, trees that would, indeed, suit them perfectly, cut and stacked up at the side of the car park.

It never takes less than two hours, the girls darting around calling, *Over here! What about this one?' Elliott tramping over with saw in hand, Gabby yet again cursing the fact that she didn't bring extra gloves, because Olivia always forgets hers and ends up wearing Gabby's, while Gabby tucks her freezing hands into her armpits, convinced she will have frostbite by the end of the day.

They buy apple cider and doughnuts at the stand, and sit on low benches around the roaring fire to warm up, while Alanna usually wanders over to the two giant cows lazily munching hay in a small paddock next to the barn.

They haul the tree up to the roof rack, Gabby on one side of the car, Elliott on the other, then loop orange twine round and round, Elliott saying next year they'll get a smaller tree, and Gabby agreeing, although the tree gets bigger year by year.

There will be no Maple Row Farm this year. Not without Elliott. It wouldn't be the same, and Gabby could never manage to cut down and haul a tree by herself, and certainly not in this condition.

She drives instead to the Audubon Society, where there are pre-cut trees that are absolutely fine, and they tie it to the roof of her car for her. When she gets home she runs next door to her neighbours and the husband comes out to bring it into the house.

Gabby has become increasingly reliant on the kindness of neighbours. And strangers. She didn't realize how much she needed Elliott around, until there was no Elliott.

There was the night she heard a rustling coming from downstairs, and came down to find a frantic and terrified squirrel, which had somehow fallen down the chimney, tearing up the living room. She had always adored squirrels as a child a she would crouch down to feed them peanuts in Regent's Park a but they were, she discovered, infinitely scary when trapped inside your home.

A neighbour's husband a different neighbour a came to help, swiftly accompanied by two other husbands as word of the rampaging squirrel spread around the local area.

As a thank you, Gabby has baked mince pies and Florentine biscuits, and delivered them, beautifully wrapped in cellophane and plaid ribbon, with wishes for a wonderful holiday season.

More mince pies and Florentines, Elliott's favourite, are laid out now, on a white platter, on the dining-room table. The turkey is roasting, and Frank Sinatra has been replaced a at Olivia's insistence a with the Christmas alb.u.m from Glee.

Swags of spruce, garlanded with burlap, drape the fireplace and banister in the front hall, where the theme is white and silver: thick white pillar candles wrapped in silver birch glisten at each end of the mantelpiece with wreaths of white feathers between them, while glittery silver deer traipse along the hearth.

On into the family room, where all is red and green and tartan. Plaid throws adorn the sofa that Gabby and the girls have brought down from her bedroom, making it cosy and warm. More spruce is draped along the mantelpiece, this time with red velvet ribbons. A fire is blazing, but the stockings hang high out of reach of the licking flames.

The tiny electric model ice rink has been dug out, with its twinkling lights and miniature skaters, who do endless magnetic figures of eight. They found this together in Boston one year. The girls were fascinated by the little skaters, and delighted that Elliott and Gabby bought it. Still, today, Alanna will sit and watch the skaters, lulled into a zombie-like state by the repet.i.tive motion. Flicking a switch turns on tinny Christmas carols, but none of them flick the switch, preferring to watch the skaters in silence.

The gifts are piled high under the tree. Large ones for the girls and, at the back, where no one can see it, a beautifully wrapped bronze box, with a striped gold ribbon, for Elliott.