Tehanu. Part 11

"And then there he was-the king!-like a sword blade- And Handy shrinking and shrivelling back from him- And I thought he was Spark! I did, I really did for a moment, I was so-so beside myself-"'

"Well," said Apple, "that's all right, because Shinny thought you were his mother. When we were on the docks watching you come sailing in in your glory. She kissed him, you know, Aunty Lark. Kissed the king-just like that. I thought next thing she'd kiss that mage. But she didn't."

"I should think not, what an idea. What mage?" said Lark, with her head in a cupboard. "Where"s your flour bin, Goha?'"

"Your hand's on it. A Roke mage, come looking for a new archmage."

"Here?"

"Why not?"' said Apple. "The last one was from Gont, wasn't he? But they didn't spend much time looking. They sailed straight back to Havnor, once they'd got rid of mother."

"How you do talk."

"He was looking for a woman, he said,'" Tenar told them. "'A woman on Gont.' But he didn't seem too happy about it."

"A wizard looking for a woman? Well, that's something new,"' said Lark. "I'd have thought this'd be weevilly by now, but it's perfectly good. I'll bake up a bannock or two, shall I? Where's the oil?'"

"I'll need to draw some from the crock in the cool-room. Oh, Shandy! There you are! How are you? How's Clear-brook? How's everything been? Did you sell the ram lambs?"

They sat down nine to supper. In the soft yellow light of the evening in the stone-floored kitchen, at the long farm table, Therru began to lift her head a little, and spoke a few times to the other children; but there was still a cowering in her, and as it grew darker outside she sat so that her seeing eye could watch the window.

Not until Lark and her children had gone home in the twilight, and Apple was singing Therru to sleep, and she was washing up the dishes with Shandy, did Tenar ask about Ged. Somehow she had not wanted to while Lark and Apple were listening; there would have been so many explanations. She had forgotten to mention his being at Re Albi at all. And she did not want to talk about Re Albi any more. Her mind seemed to darken when she tried to think of it.

"Did a man come here last month from me-to help out with the work?"

"Oh, I clean forgot!'" cried Shandy. "Hawk, you mean- him with the scars on his face?"

"Yes,'" Tenar said. "Hawk."

"Oh, aye, well, he'll be away up on Hot Springs Mountain, above Lissu, up there with the sheep, with Serry's sheep, I believe. He come here and says how you sent him, and there wasn't a lick o' work for him here, you know, with . Clearbrook and me looking after the sheep and I been dairying and old Tiff and Sis helping me out when needed, and I racked my brains, but Clearbrook he says, 'Go ask Serry's man, Farmer Serry's overseer up by Kahedanan, do they need herders in the high pastures,' he said, and that Hawk went off and did that, and got took on, and was off next day. 'Go ask Serry's man,' Clearbrook told him, and that's what he done, and got took right on. So he'll be back down with the flocks come fall, no doubt. Up there on the Long Fells above Lissu, in the high pastures. I think maybe it was goats they wanted him for. Nice-spoken fellow. Sheep or goats, I don't remember which. I hope it's all right with you that we didn't keep him on here, Goha, but it's the truth there wasn't a lick o' work for him what with me and Clearbrook and old Tiff, and Sis got the flax in. And he said he'd been a goatherd over there where he come from, away round the mountain, some place above Armouth he said, though he said he'd never herded sheep. Maybe it'll be goats they've got him with up there."

"Maybe," said Tenar. She was much relieved and much disappointed. She had wanted to know him safe and well, but she had wanted also to find him here.

But it was enough, she told herself, simply to be home- and maybe better that he was not here, that none of all that was here, all the griefs and dreams and wizardries and terrors of Re Albi left behind, for good. She was here, now, and this was home, these stone floors and walls, these smallpaned windows, outside which the oaks stood dark in starlight, these quiet, orderly rooms. She lay awake awhile that night. Her daughter slept in the next room, the children's room, with Therru, and Tenar lay in her own bed, her husband's bed, alone.

She slept. She woke, remembering no dream.

After a few days at the farm she scarcely gave a thought to the summer pa.s.sed on the Overfell. It was long ago and far away. Despite Shandy's insistence on there not being a lick o' work to be done about the farm, she found plenty that needed doing: all that had been left undone over the summer and all that had to be done in the season of harvest in the fields and dairy. She worked from daybreak till nightfall, and if by chance she had an hour to sit down, she spun, or sewed for Therru. The red dress was finished at last, and a pretty dress it was, with a white ap.r.o.n for fancy wear and an orangey-brown one for everyday. "Now, then, you look beautiful!"" said Tenar in her seamstress's pride, when Therru first tried it on.

Therru turned her face away.

"You are beautiful," Tenar said in a different tone. "Listen to me, Therru. Come here. You have scars, ugly scars, because an ugly, evil thing was done to you. People see the scars. But they see you, too, and you aren't the scars. You aren't ugly. You aren't evil. You are Therru, and beautiful. You are Therru who can work, and walk, and run, and dance, beautifully, in a red dress."

The child listened, the soft, unhurt side of her face as expressionless as the rigid, scar-masked side.

She looked down at Tenar's hands, and presently touched them with her small fingers. "It is a beautiful dress,'" she said in her faint, hoa.r.s.e voice.

When Tenar was alone, folding up the sc.r.a.ps of red material, tears came stinging into her eyes. She felt rebuked. She had done right to make the dress, and she had spoken the truth to the child. But it was not enough, the right and the truth. There was a gap, a void, a gulf, on beyond the right and the truth. Love, her love for Therru and Therru's for her, made a bridge across that gap, a bridge of spider web, but love did not fill or close it. Nothing did that. And the child knew it better than she.

The day of the equinox came, a bright sun of autumn burning through the mist. The first bronze was in the leaves of the oaks. As she scrubbed cream pans in the dairy with the window and door wide open to the sweet air, Tenar thought that her young king was being crowned this day in Havnor. The lords and ladies would walk in their clothes of blue and green and crimson, but he would wear white, she thought. He would climb up the steps to the Tower of the Sword, the steps she and Ged had climbed. The crown of Morred would be placed on his head. He would turn as the trumpets sounded and seat himself on the throne that had been empty so many years, and look at his kingdom with those dark eyes that knew what pain was, what fear was. "Rule well, rule long," she thought, "poor boy!'" And she thought, "It should have been Ged there putting the crown on his head. He should have gone.

But Ged was herding the rich man's sheep, or maybe goats, up in the high pastures. It was a fair, dry, golden autumn, and they would not be bringing the flocks down till the snow fell up there on the heights.

When she went into the village, Tenar made a point of going by Ivy's cottage at the end of Mill Lane. Getting to know Moss at Re Albi had made her wish to know Ivy better, if she could once get past the witch's suspicion and jealousy. She missed Moss, even though she had Lark here; she had learned from her and had come to love her, and Moss had given both her and Therru something they needed. She hoped to find a replacement of that here. But Ivy, though a great deal cleaner and more reliable than Moss, had no intention of giving up her dislike of Tenar. She treated her overtures of friendship with the contempt that, Tenar admitted, they perhaps deserved. "You go your way, I go mine," the witch told her in everything but words; and Tenar obeyed, though she continued to treat Ivy with marked respect when they met. She had, she thought, slighted her too often and too long, and owed her reparation. Evidently agreeing, the witch accepted her due with unbending ire.

In mid-autumn the sorcerer Beech came up the valley, called by a rich farmer to treat his gout. He stayed on awhile in the Middle Valley villages as he usually did, and pa.s.sed one afternoon at Oak Farm, checking up on Therru and talking with Tenar. He wanted to know anything she would tell him of Ogion's last days. He was the pupil of a pupil of Ogion's and a devout admirer of the mage of Gont. Tenar found it was not so hard to talk about Ogion as about other people of Re Albi, and told him all she could. When she had done he asked a little cautiously, "And the archmage-did he come?"

"Yes," Tenar said.

Beech, a smooth-skinned, mild-looking man in his forties, tending a little to fat, with dark half-circles under his eyes that belied the blandness of his face, glanced at her, and asked nothing.

"He came after Ogion's death. And left," she said. And presently, "He's not archmage now. You knew that?"

Beech nodded.

"Is there any word of their choosing a new archmage?" The sorcerer shook his head. "There was a ship in from the Enlades not long ago, but no word from her crew of anything but the coronation. They were full of that! And it sounds as if all auspices and events were fortunate. If the goodwill of mages is valuable, then this young king of ours is a rich man. . . . And an active one, it seems. There's an order come overland from Gont Port just before I left Valmouth, for the n.o.bles and merchants and the mayor and his council to meet together and see to it that the bailiffs of the district be worthy and accountable men, for they're the king's officers now, and are to do his will and enact his law. Well, you can imagine how Lord Heno greeted that!" Heno was a notable patron of pirates, who had long kept most of the bailiffs and sea-sheriffs of South Gont in his pocket. "But there were men willing to face up to Heno, with the king standing behind them. They dismissed the old lot then and there, and named fifteen new bailiffs, decent men, paid out of the mayor's funds. Heno stormed off swearing destruction. It's a new day! Not all at once, of course, but it's coming. I wish Master Ogion had lived to see it."

"He did," Tenar said. "As he was dying, he smiled, and he said, 'All changed . . . . "

Beech took this in his sober way, nodding slowly. "All changed," he repeated .

After a while he said, "The little one's doing very well."

"Well enough. . . . Sometimes I think not well enough."

"Mistress Goha," said the sorcerer, "if I or any sorcerer or witch or I daresay wizard had kept her, and used all the power of healing of the Art Magic for her all these months since she was injured, she wouldn't be better off. Maybe not as well as she is. You have done all all that can be done, mistress. You have done a wonder." that can be done, mistress. You have done a wonder."

She was touched by his earnest praise, and yet it made her sad; and she told him why. "It isn't enough," she said. "I can't heal her. She is . . . What is she to do? What will become of her?" She ran off the thread she had been spinning onto the spindle-shank, and said, "I am afraid."

"For her," Beech said, half querying.

"Afraid because her fear draws to it, to her, the cause of her fear. Afraid because- "

But she could not find the words for it.

"If she lives in fear, she will do harm," she said at last. "I'm afraid of that."

The sorcerer pondered. "I've thought," " he said at last in his diffident way, that maybe, if she has the gift, as I think she does, she might be trained a bit in the Art. And, as a witch, her . . . appearance wouldn't be so much against her-possibly." He cleared his throat. "There are witches who do very creditable work," he said.

Tenar ran a little of the thread she had spun between her fingers, testing it for evenness and strength. "Ogion told me to teach her. 'Teach her all,' he said, and then, 'Not Roke.' I don't know what he meant."

Beech had no difficulty with it. "He meant that the learning of Roke-the High Arts-wouldn't be suitable for a girl," he explained. "Let alone one so handicapped. But if he said to teach her all but that lore, it would seem that he too saw her way might well be the witches' way." He pondered again, more cheerfully, having got the weight of Ogion's opinion on his side. "In a year or two, when she's quite strong, and grown a bit more, you might think of asking Ivy to begin teaching her a bit. Not too much, of course, even of that kind of thing, till she has her true name.

Tenar felt a strong, immediate resistance to the suggestion. She said nothing, but Beech was a sensitive man. "Ivy's dour," he said. "But what she knows, she does honestly. Which can't be said of all witches. Weak as women's magic, Weak as women's magic, you know, and you know, and wicked as women's magic! wicked as women's magic! But I've known witches with real healing power. Healing befits a woman. It comes natural to her. And the child might be drawn to that-having been so hurt herself." But I've known witches with real healing power. Healing befits a woman. It comes natural to her. And the child might be drawn to that-having been so hurt herself."

His kindness was, Tenar thought, innocent.

She thanked him, saying that she would think carefully about what he had said. And indeed she did so.

Before the month was out, the villages of Middle Valley had met at the Round Barn of Sodeva to appoint their own bailiffs and officers of the peace and to levy a tax upon themselves to pay the bailiffs' wages with. Such were the king's orders, brought to the mayors and elders of the villages, and readily obeyed, for there were as many st.u.r.dy beggars and thieves on the roads as ever, and the villagers and farmers were eager to have order and safety. Some ugly rumors went about, such as that Lord Heno had formed a Council of Scoundrels and was enlisting all the blackguards in the countryside to go about in gangs breaking the heads of the king's bailies; but most people said, "Just let 'em try! " " and went home telling each other that now an honest man could sleep safe abed at night, and what went wrong the king was setting right, though the taxes were beyond all reason and they'd all be poor men forever trying to pay them.

Tenar was glad to hear of all this from Lark, but did not pay it much heed. She was working very hard; and since she had got home she had, almost without being aware of it, resolved not to let the thought of Handy or any such ruffian rule her life or Therru"s. She could not keep the child with her every moment, renewing her terrors, forever reminding her of what she could not remember and live. The child must be free and know herself to be free, to grow in grace. resolved not to let the thought of Handy or any such ruffian rule her life or Therru"s. She could not keep the child with her every moment, renewing her terrors, forever reminding her of what she could not remember and live. The child must be free and know herself to be free, to grow in grace.

She had gradually lost the shrinking, fearful manner, and by now went all about the farm and the byways and even into the village by herself. Tenar said no word of caution to her, even when she had to prevent herself from doing so. Therm was safe on the farm, safe in the village, no one was going to hurt her: that must be taken as unquestionable. And indeed Tenar did not often question it. With herself and Shandy and Clearbrook around the place, and Sis and Tiff down in the lower house, and Lark's family all over the village, in the sweet autumn of the Middle Valley, what harm was going to come to the child?

She'd get a dog, too, when she heard of one she wanted, one of the big grey Gontish sheep-guards, with their wise, curly heads.

Now and then she thought, as she had at Re Albi, "I must be teaching the child! Ogion said so." But somehow nothing seemed to get taught to her but farm work, and stories, in the evening, as the nights drew in and they began to sit by the kitchen fire after supper before they went to bed. Maybe Beech was right, and Therru should be sent to a witch to learn what witches knew. It was better than apprenticing her to a weaver, as Tenar had thought of doing. But not all that much better. And she was still not very big; and was very ignorant for her age, for she had been taught nothing before she came to Oak Farm. She had been like a little animal, barely knowing human speech, and no human skills. She learned quickly and was twice as obedient and diligent as Lark's unruly girls and laughing, lazy boys. She could clean and serve and spin, cook a little, sew a little, look after poultry, fetch the cows, and do excellent work in the dairy. A proper farm-la.s.sie, old Tiff called her, fawning a bit. Tenar had also seen him make the sign to avert evil, surrept.i.tiously, when Therru pa.s.sed him. Like most people, Tiff believed that you are what happens to you. The rich and strong must have virtue; one to whom evil has been done must be bad, and may rightly be punished.

In which case it would not help much if Therru became the properest farm-la.s.sie in Gont. Not even prosperity would diminish the visible brand of what had been done to her. So Beech had thought of her being a witch, accepting, making use, of the brand. Was that what Ogion had meant, when he said "Not Roke" - when he said "They will fear her"? Was that all?

One day when a managed chance brought them together in the village street, Tenar said to Ivy, "There's a question I want to ask you, Mistress Ivy. A matter of your profession. "

The witch eyed her. She had a scathing eye.

"My profession, is it?"

Tenar nodded, steady.

"Come on, then," Ivy said with a shrug, leading off down Mill Lane to her little house.

It was not a den of infamy and chickens, like Moss's house, but it was a witch-house, the beams hung thick with dried and drying herbs, the fire banked under grey ash with one tiny coal winking like a red eye, a lithe, fat, black cat with one white mustache sleeping up on a shelf, and everywhere a profusion of little boxes, pots, ewers, trays, and stoppered bottles, all aromatic, pungent or sweet or strange.

"What can I do for you, Mistress Goha?" Ivy asked, very dry, when they were inside.

"Tell me, if you will, if you think my ward, Therru, has any gift for your art-any power in her."

"She? Of course!" said the witch.

Tenar was a bit floored by the prompt and contemptuous answer. "Well,"' she said. "Beech seemed to think so."

"A blind bat in a cave could see it," said Ivy. "Is that all?"

"No. I want your advice. When I've asked my question, you can tell me the price of the answer. Fair?"

"Fair."

"Should I prentice Therru for a witch, when she's a bit older?"'

Ivy was silent for a minute, deciding on her fee, Tenar thought. Instead, she answered the question. "I would not take her," " she said.

"Why?"

"I'd be afraid to,'" the witch answered, with a sudden fierce stare at Tenar.

"Afraid? Of what?"

"Of her! What is she?'"

"A child. An ill-used child!"

"That's not all she is."

Dark anger came into Tenar and she said, "Must a prentice witch be a virgin, then?"

Ivy stared. She said after a moment, "I didn't mean that."

"What did you mean?'"

"I mean I don't know what she is. I mean when she looks at me with that one eye seeing and one eye blind I don't know what she sees. I see you go about with her like she was any child, and I think, What are they? What's the strength of that woman, for she's not a fool, to hold a fire by the hand, to spin thread with the whirlwind? They say, mistress, that you lived as a child yourself with the Old Ones, the Dark Ones, the Ones Underfoot, and that you were queen and servant of those powers. Maybe that's why you're not afraid of this one. What power she is, I don't know, I don't say. But it's beyond my teaching, I know that-or Beech's, or any witch or wizard I ever knew! I'll give you my advice, mistress, free and feeless. It's this: Beware. Beware her, the day she finds her strength! That's all."

"I thank you, Mistress Ivy," Tenar said with all the formality of the Priestess of the Tombs of Atuan, and went out of the warm room into the thin, biting wind of the end of autumn.

She was still angry. n.o.body would help her, she thought. She knew the job was beyond her, they didn't have to tell her that-but none of them would help her. Ogion had died, and old Moss ranted, and Ivy warned, and Beech kept clear, and Ged-the one who might really have helped- Ged ran away. Ran off like a whipped dog, and never sent sign or word to her, never gave a thought to her or Therru, but only to his own precious shame. That was his child, his nurseling. That was all he cared about. He had never cared or thought about her, only about power-her power, his power, how he could use it, how he could make more power of it. Putting the broken Ring together, making the Rune, putting a king on the throne. And when his power was gone, still it was all he could think about: that it was gone, lost, leaving him only himself, his shame, his emptiness.

"You aren't being fair," Goha said to Tenar.

"Fair!" said Tenar. "Did he play fair?"

"Yes," said Goha. "He did. Or tried to".

"Well, then, he can play fair with the goats he's herding; it's nothing to me," said Tenar, trudging homeward in the wind and the first, spa.r.s.e, cold rain.

"Snow tonight, maybe," said her tenant Tiff, meeting her on the road beside the meadows of the Kaheda.

"Snow so soon? I hope not."

"Freeze, anyway, for sure."

And it froze when the sun was down: rain puddles and watering troughs skimming over, then opaqued with ice; the reeds by the Kaheda stilled, bound in ice; the wind itself stilled as if frozen, unable to move.

Beside the fire-a sweeter fire than Ivy's, for the wood was that of an old apple that had been taken down in the orchard last spring-Tenar and Therru sat to spin and talk after supper was cleared away.

"Tell the story about the cat ghosts,'" Therru said in her husky voice as she started the wheel to spin a ma.s.s of dark, silky goat's-wool into fleecefell yarn.

"That's a summer story."

Therru c.o.c.ked her head.

"In winter the stories should be the great stories. In winter you learn the Creation of E'a, Creation of E'a, so that you can sing it at the Long Dance when summer comes. In winter you learn the Winter Carol and the so that you can sing it at the Long Dance when summer comes. In winter you learn the Winter Carol and the Deed of the Young King, Deed of the Young King, and at the Festival of Sunreturn, when the sun turns north to bring the spring, you can sing them." and at the Festival of Sunreturn, when the sun turns north to bring the spring, you can sing them."

"I can't sing," the girl whispered.

Tenar was winding spun yarn off the distaff into a ball, her hands deft and rhythmic.

"Not only the voice sings," she said. "The mind sings. The prettiest voice in the world's no good if the mind doesn't know the songs." She untied the last bit of yarn, which had been the first spun. "You have strength, Therru, and strength that is ignorant is dangerous."