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THE SELF-CUTTING MAN, THE UNKILLING FIST – PART 1
March 13, 2016Tgurneu
Zatoh came walking to Noloty. He stood in front and stared at her.
She felt terribly uncomfortable. It was as if his eyes were void of emotions.
“Where’s Hamyuts Meseta?”
“The Director?”
“Where did she go?”
“I-I don’t know. She’s fickle and I can’t tell what she’s thinking about at all.”
Zatoh slightly frowned. But he immediately walked past Noloty.
“Please wait a second.”
“What is it?”
Zatoh turned around. Noloty decided that for now she would talk to him about something and check his situation. She tried thinking of a topic that wouldn’t be sensitive for him.
“U-umm, did you quit that brawl business?”
“I don’t need it anymore.”
Zatoh answered this and started walking. He didn’t seem to be interested in Noloty at all.
“Please wait, Zatoh-san!”
Noloty grabbed his sleeve and called to him again. His expression completely changed. She froze in place after he turned around and showed her his face. He stared at Noloty with eyes full of anger and astonishment.
“Why do you know that name?”
“The Director told me.”
“…I see.”
Zatoh made a displeased frown. It looked as if he had some grudge towards that name.
“Do you have any business with the Director?”
After being asked so, the man thought a bit.
“I’m going to be killed.”
“…Huh?”
“I’ll be killed by Hamyuts Meseta.”
“Umm, pardon me. What did you say?”
“I said I’m going to be killed by Hamyuts Meseta.”
Noloty was stunned to hear those words. The Director said he was being suicidal, but what was this deal about getting killed by her? It was a rather roundabout way of committing suicide.
If he wanted to die, it would be faster just hanging himself.
“Please wait. If you suddenly say such things I’ll be worried. Even the Director won’t kill a person without any reason.”
“I said I want to die. That’s enough of a reason.”
“No, it’s not enough at all.”
“Don’t touch other people’s clothes.”
Zatoh tried shaking off Noloty’s hands. But she didn’t let go easily.
“You’re in my way. I must find Hamyuts Meseta.”
She couldn’t allow it. Just now, Hamyuts had told her – she must save this person. If the person she had to save would suddenly die she would fail the mission. She couldn’t understand the situation at all, but she had to stop him.
“Please wait. I can’t allow this.”
This time she grabbed not his clothes but his wrists.
“Then, will you kill me?”
“…Huh?”
“You’re lacking compared to Hamyuts Meseta, but that fist earlier was quite something. I don’t mind if you’d kill me.”
She couldn’t understand him at all. She opened her eyes wide.
“Kill me.”
“…I can’t.”
Noloty answered. Zatoh looked annoyed.
“That’s enough. You’re in my way. Go somewhere.”
“Even if you tell me that…”
Zatoh tried shaking off the hands that grabbed him. Noloty desperately held on to his wrists. From a distance they may have looked like quarreling lovers.
Suddenly, something hit Noloty’s foot. When she looked down, she saw a small iron bullet. She released Zatoh’s wrists and picked it up.
“It’s the Director’s message bullet.”
After opening the ma.s.s of iron, she could see a small piece of paper inside. Noloty and Zatoh looked at it.
“To Zatoh-kun – It’s useless trying to look for me.”
Zatoh s.n.a.t.c.hed the piece of paper from Noloty’s hand, tore it apart and threw it away. Then, he turned his back to Noloty and started walking in a fast pace.
“Where are you going, Zatoh-san?”
“Don’t follow me.”
He said as if spitting, and went away.
“Even if he says not to follow him, if I do that my job’s done for…”
Noloty walked around while masking her presence. She was walking more than 200 meters behind Zatoh, choosing places she could hide in if he were to turn around. She knew the basics of tailing after someone. Even if following someone alone was hard, a single target shouldn’t be able to feel her if it’s an ordinary person.
She decided to gather information about him. She had to take such an action in this state where she couldn’t understand anything about him. It seems that for some reason, he wants to die. Furthermore, it seems like he wants to get killed by someone else rather than hang or drown himself.
What’s going on with Zatoh? She had to investigate this first and foremost.
Zatoh left the downtown area and pa.s.sed by the pier. He was heading towards the warehouse district; due to it being night, there was no human presence there.
He stopped in front of an especially old and small warehouse. He then opened the rusty iron door and went inside.
“Mm…”
Noloty was anxious about entering that warehouse alone, but she couldn’t just give up here either. She looked for a place she could sneak into while staying undetected. She found the vents on the other side of the warehouse near the roof. She climbed up the stone wall and got inside.
Fortunately, it was dark inside. Noloty had no problems because she could see in the dark, and she wouldn’t be found by those inside. Being careful not to make any sound, she silently descended down the wall. Infiltration successful.
The inside was dusty and apparently hadn’t been used in a long time. Noloty thought will have to be careful not to sneeze or cough. Inside the warehouse there was a large pile of cloth sacks. Judging from the smell, this warehouse seemed to be storing coal.
Noloty put her ears to the ground. She could hear the sound of her own heartbeats as well as the footsteps of just one person from the other side of the warehouse. Other than that she couldn’t even hear mice on the floor. For the time being, she thought that only she and Zatoh were inside this warehouse.
Noloty gently poked her head from behind the sacks of coals. There was a small s.p.a.ce in the corner of the other side of the warehouse. There, Zatoh was rubbing a matchstick and used it to light a lamp.
His figure was illuminated. Around him were just a single lamp, a shabby sleeping bag, and a small satchel. Seeing he had a sleeping bag here, this was probably the place Zatoh lodged in. Since he should have made some money with his job of getting beaten like earlier, Noloty couldn’t understand why he would sleep in such a place. Was there some reason he couldn’t go to an inn?
Zatoh took something out of his satchel. When the lamp’s light was reflected on it, she could see that it was a short sword. He grabbed the blade in a backhand grip and suddenly stabbed the back of his hand.
“!”
Noloty barely restrained herself from making a sound. The thirty-centimeter blade was buried up to its middle. Through the back of his hand, the blade dug into the bare ground.
Zatoh pulled the sword out. It was covered in blood, and he once again lowered it. He stabbed himself in the same spot. The pain of having stabbed himself in the same spot twice wasn’t little at all. Zatoh seemed to be bearing the pain as he widened his eyes and clenched his teeth.
When he lowered the sword for the third time, it wasn’t to the back of his hand. He pierced the middle of his chest through his ribs.
“…Ah.”
Normally, when stabbing the chest you would normally turn the blade horizontally. However, Zatoh simply buried the blade inside him as it pierced his chest. Noloty felt as if she could hear the sound of his ribs breaking from where she was. Even from that distance, she could understand the broken ribs and blade pierced his heart and lungs.
Zatoh coughed violently. Blood flew from his mouth.
He grabbed the sword, covered in blood up to the handle, with both hands. While sprinkling blood from his mouth, he next pierced his throat with the blade.
He undoubtedly died. Whether or not he strengthened his body by Magic, there was nothing he could do. He didn’t even have the time to stop as it was so sudden.
“…Oh no…”
Noloty muttered. She suddenly failed her mission.
There was no need to hide anymore. Noloty raised her body and walked towards Zatoh’s corpse.
His body, collapsed forward as if he were prostrating, was vainly lit up by the lamp. When Noloty stepped into the fresh blood she could feel it was still warm. Even while she understood it was useless, she reached for Zatoh’s body. Then, she suddenly looked at his left hand.
“Huh?”
There no wound on his hand. Thinking that perhaps it was his right hand instead, she went around Zatoh to look at it. Suddenly, she heard a voice.
“…What are you doing?”
Noloty started looking around her reflexively.
The voice she heard surely came from Zatoh at her feet, but she couldn’t believe a man who just died could speak.
“…As I thought, it’s you.”
Zatoh raised his body from the sea of blood. His face, dyed red by his own blood, looked at Noloty.
Noloty lost her words. Him still being alive after having pierced his heart and trachea seemed impossible to her.
Only one person had such an ability.
It was only the Monster that attacked Bantorra Library.
THE SELF-CUTTING MAN, THE UNKILLING FIST – PART 2 March 17, 2016Tgurneu Zatoh turned his blood-covered face towards Noloty after getting up. “What are you doing?” He angrily asked. He didn’t seem to be in pain. He couldn’t possibly be a man who just shoved a sword into his heart and neck. Even his left hand didn’t have any wounds anymore. “Because you went after me, I thought you intended killing me. But you just wasted that chance to watch me… why?” I was busted, Noloty thought. She thought about escaping. If Zatoh is the Monster she couldn’t handle him by herself. She needs to escape and then call for a.s.sistance. Her reason called her to do that. Strangely, however, her feet couldn’t move. Why was that? Even if he had the same ability, it wasn’t enough evidence to say Zatoh truly is the Monster. Besides, she didn’t feel any hostility from him. Noloty couldn’t feel any intentions of attacking coming from him. She could feel in one way or another that this man only wished to hurt himself. Zatoh picked up the short sword that fell into the sea of blood. “Oh well. I’ll just try it again. This time I won’t fail.” “Huh?” Noloty raised a bewildered voice. “I’ll stab my heart and neck again. Once I have fallen, I’ll keep doing it until my regeneration can’t keep up. Then I will die.” After saying this, Zatoh directed the short sword to his chest. Noloty grabbed his hands. “Wai- Please wait!” “Why?” “Don’t just keep talking by yourself.” “…” “U-umm, I didn’t come to kill you. Please wait with that whole suicide business.” Once again, Zatoh looked angry. “Then why are you here?” Noloty hesitated a little. “I wanted to save you.” When Noloty said this, a strange atmosphere enveloped her as if the air was torn apart. She knew this kind of feeling. It was the atmosphere of facing the anger of an overwhelmingly strong person. “Save me?” “Yes.” “So it’s simple. Kill me. The only way of saving me is to kill me.” “…That doesn’t count as saving at all.” “Please don’t say something like suicide is wrong and I shouldn’t do it.” Noloty desperately focused her eyes on him as if to not get overwhelmed, and answered. “Suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it.” A shiver ran through her spine. She felt as if his stare was physically a.s.saulting her. “I advise you to go away while I’m still calm.” Noloty thought that would perhaps be best. However, she stopped herself from following his advice. If she would withdraw here, why did she come in the first place? Everything’s fine, Noloty encouraged herself. She could still stop him. Her superiors are far scarier. Compared to them she can’t be afraid of this person. “What are you doing? If you’re going away do it quickly.” Zatoh said angrily. “Choose quickly. Will you kill me, or will you scram?” “If I tell you I want neither, what will you do?” Zatoh sighed. And he seemed to become even angrier. “What do you think I’ll do?” “I don’t know. I’m not very smart.” Don’t avert your eyes. Noloty thought this while the two of them glared at one another. “Tell me just one thing. Who are you?” Zatoh thought for a while, averting his gaze from Noloty. “I’m just a fool.” After saying so, he fell silent. Noloty also didn’t know what to say and stayed silent. If this were a battle, this situation would like the both of them were stuck in a stalemate as they waited for each other’s moves. Since Noloty didn’t want to kill him but Zatoh wanted to die, they were incompatible. It was a battle conducted with something other than physical violence. The slender lamp illuminated the both of them. They could hear the roars of the sea from afar. Since the unceasing cries of the seagulls were not heard anymore, they probably went back to roost already. Noloty stared at the person in front of her as if ascertaining him. Is this person the Monster? If he is, why is he here, and why does he want to die? And if he isn’t the Monster, who is he? “Why did you come here?” Zatoh asked. Noloty didn’t answer. “Is it a mission from Hamyuts Meseta?” Bull’s-eye. Noloty’s face stiffened. Seeing her face, Zatoh further questioned her. “What’s Hamyuts Meseta trying to do?” “I don’t know. I’m just a subordinate.” “What’s your mission?” “…I don’t really know. I just need to save you, that’s all.” “Anyway, it seems like you weren’t told…” Zatoh’s eyes twinkled. Noloty could feel a pressure that wasn’t there before. “About me being the Monster.” Once again, a shiver ran down her spine. Her entire body became tense. Her feet screamed for her to run away. “Does an Armed Librarian trainee intend to save the Monster that attacked Bantorra Library?” “…Are you the Monster?” Noloty replied. “I’ve said it just now. I’m the Monster you guys are looking for.” Zatoh said resolutely. There was not a doubt anymore. Her secret mission or whatever didn’t matter. Kill him. Or if not, escape. Flee, call for reinforcements and kill this man. This was the rational decision. It was the natural course of action. But, why is it that Noloty couldn’t move? She could smell the scent of some lie in Zatoh’s words. She was bothered by something. She felt like something didn’t fit. In the battle between her reason and feelings, her feelings won. “…Thinking about it, you thought I came here to kill you, right?” “What?” “There’s a lot to think about. Certainly, if you’re the Monster, you need to be killed, but… I’m not naïve enough to be fooled by such a lie.” “What are you talking about?” Noloty talked while desperately trying not to let her voice shake. “I’m saying that you’re lying.” Zatoh ground his teeth. He was trying to suppress the anger that nearly reached its boiling point with reason. “Stop saying those stupid irresponsible things. That’s enough. Kill me already.” Aah, as I thought, Noloty thought to herself. He’s bad at lying. “If you were the Monster, you would have killed me long ago. Why would a person like that, who invaded Bantorra Library and killed some people, suddenly hesitate about killing me?” Noloty clearly confirmed that Zatoh became slightly fl.u.s.tered by her words. “I seek death. Killing you holds no meaning for me.” “If I were to die, plenty of my seniors from the Library would come here. People such as the Director or Mattalast-san will gang up on you. Wouldn’t it be easier that way?” “…” “‘Kill me because I’m the Monster’. If that’s what you want to say, you should have just attacked the Director and me without saying anything since the very beginning. Am I wrong?” Zatoh downcast his face and went silent for a while. He then raised it. “I see. I didn’t think of that.” Oh no, Noloty thought. Maybe I’ve made a huge mistake. “Let’s try it then.” Zatoh extended one hand towards Noloty. She fled backwards. She crashed into the pile of coal bags, which then collapsed and went flying at her. While knowing this would happen, she had no choice. The floor where Noloty stood before was burnt. Zatoh’s body began emitting sparks inside the dark warehouse. This was also the Monster’s ability she heard about from Mirepoc. Lightning. “Stupid woman.” Saying so, Zatoh reached towards Noloty who was buried under the sacks of coal. Noloty mustered her entire body’s strength to stand up. She flung the sack on top of her towards Zatoh. He lightly avoided the sack that came flying at him. However, she was able to buy enough time to roll towards the warehouse’s edge. Noloty stood up and turned around. “…Don’t move.” Once again, Zatoh’s hand shone with a blue light. Noloty immediately ran to the side. She would never be able to dodge the attack based on her sight. She had to move around and hope for good luck. She couldn’t do anything else. She barely dodged the second lightning strike. Sacks of coal burst open and rained on Noloty. “I told you not to move.” Zatoh’s lightning struck the place at the warehouse’s entrance. Just before her body touched the door, it was wrapped in lightning and its hinge was blown off. Noloty dodged the collapsing door. She didn’t manage to run away, but the door being open was a blessing in disguise. After somehow avoiding the lightning strikes several times, she started running towards the exit- And then, she noticed. Several times? What have I been avoiding in the first place? Are my physical abilities so good that I can avoid lightning strikes coming at the speed of light? Only someone like Mattalast-san should be able to avoid them using his Prediction. Zatoh’s hand glowed, and the next lightning strike came. However, Noloty didn’t avoid it. The lightning flew at her. This deadly attack hit in the distance of a meter from where Noloty was standing. Some sparks burnt Noloty’s bare feet, but that was all. “…” Zatoh went silent. He didn’t send another attack. Nothing. He didn’t intend on hitting her from the very beginning. He opened the door with his lightning and tried to make her run away. “…How kind of you.” Noloty said. Zatoh embarra.s.sedly turned his eyes away. “I can’t think of you as the Monster at all. How did you manage to have such a drastic change of heart in just a month?” “That’s enough. Just run away from here.” “And what should I do when I run away?” “Call another Armed Librarian here. It can be Hamyuts Meseta or anyone else.” “Are you still saying that? There should be a limit to being stubborn.” Then, Zatoh stared at Noloty with terribly serious eyes. “You’re the stubborn one, Noloty.” “Me?” Zatoh nodded. “Why won’t you kill me? There should be plenty of reasons. I called myself a Monster and attacked you. Even that should be enough to kill me. You mustered your courage, made things hard for yourself again and again, but you still won’t kill me. Is your mission of saving me such an important thing?” Now, it was Noloty who didn’t know what to say. What he said was true. She desperately searched for a reason not to kill him. It was because Hamyuts had given her that mission. No, that wasn’t it. She answered, “I just don’t like it. Why are you only thinking about killing and whatnot? Is something troubling you? That’s why you want to die and think that you have to? I told you I will save you. Or do you think I can help you if you don’t say anything?” “…” “This isn’t a matter of you wanting to die or me killing you, right?” “That’s enough.” Zatoh said. “I’ve had it with you. I’ll get killed by someone else.” “Zatoh-san!” “Don’t talk to me.” The lamp was broken by Zatoh’s lightning. As the slight flame that remained went off, the warehouse was wrapped in darkness. I probably can’t do anything here anymore. Noloty turned her back to Zatoh. “…I’ll come again.” “And do what?” “I don’t know. But if I won’t come, I can’t make anything happen.” “Aren’t you afraid of me?” “…More importantly,” Noloty asked finally, “Why didn’t you kill me?” She didn’t receive any answer. But when Noloty left the warehouse, she could faintly hear a voice coming from within the darkness. “…Because I have killed too many people already.” Noloty returned to the sheriff’s offices which were already empty. She sat on the sofa, put the newspaper on her knees and started thinking. Who is this Zatoh? Thinking about it plainly, he’s the Monster. He possesses the same abilities and admitted himself of being the Monster. However, he’s far too gentle for it. What am I going to do now? Even without this top secret mission, I have to save him. But if he’s really the Monster, I’m essentially betraying the Library. Should she save him or not? Should she follow Hamyuts’s orders or… Noloty worried about those things. Suddenly, a voice echoed inside her head. ‘Noloty, can you hear me?’ It was the Thought Sharing coming from Mirepoc, Noloty’s direct superior. Noloty took a piece of colored cloth from her back pocket in a hurry. This small banner, woven with Mirepoc’s hairs, was a Magic Tool designed to aid Thought Sharing. Without it, Noloty couldn’t send back her thoughts. ‘I hear you.’ ‘I see. Because you’re far, we can’t keep this up for a long time. What about Luimon’s Book?’ Thinking about it, her current mission was the search for Luimon’s Book. Because she was so preoccupied with Zatoh’s matters, she forgot about it. Frankly speaking about her current situation, she should probably back off the top secret mission, Noloty thought. But thinking about it, Zatoh said he was the one who stole the Book. Whether or not it was true, she should at least report that now. ‘I found some suspicious person. I’m focusing on him.’ ‘Great work.’ Mirepoc’s calm surprise was transmitted. She probably thought Noloty couldn’t resolve it on her own. ‘However, I still can’t fully grasp the situation. I don’t have enough information yet. I’ll report when I know more.’ ‘Does it seem like the Book can be recovered?’ ‘I still don’t know. I found the person who stole it, but as for its presence…’ ‘I see. I’m sure you know this, but the retrieval of the Book is your top priority. You understand?’ ‘Yes ma’am.’ She couldn’t answer that it was far from being so. If she were to say it, Mirepoc would come flying here in a rage from Bantorra. ‘I will also investigate the background of the crime.’ ‘…You don’t have to do that.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘Please kill him.’ Noloty gasped. ‘We’ll know the truth at the Library. There’s no need to keep him alive.’ ‘…’ Noloty didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t just agree with that order. ‘So you’re hesitating.’ Mirepoc’s disappointment was transmitted through. ‘I want you to realize already that your naiveté is inhibiting your growth.’ ‘…That’s…’ ‘…I’m expecting a good report.’ This was the limit of Mirepoc’s ability. The Thought Sharing was cut off there. Noloty collapsed on the sofa and sighed deeply. “Why are they all so focused on killing?” Noloty clenched her fist and struck the sofa. Then, she stared at that fist. Suddenly, she recalled the time when Luimon Mahaton was still alive. Until half a year ago, Noloty’s training instructor had been Luimon. Mirepoc replaced him after his death. “Why don’t you have a gun?” Luimon said this to her a long time ago. “Your fighting ability isn’t lacking. You’re definitely already stronger than me.” Saying this, Luimon pointed at Noloty with his index finger. He lightly flipped his finger as if shooting. “But you don’t have any sword or a gun.” Luimon’s weapon was a rifle with a bayonet. His giant body and physical strength allowed him to lightly handle this weapon which was too big to normally wield. Compared to that, Noloty’s only weapons were her fists wrapped in straw rope. Currently, many Armed Librarians used both guns and swords. A sword for when they were close, and a gun for when they were far. Almost all of them were like that, except for people like Mattalast who specialized in a single weapon or people like Hamyuts who possessed special abilities. Noloty did not choose this extremely reasonable fighting style. Instead, she chose the most irrational style – melee combat with her fists. “I hate guns.” Noloty answered Luimon’s question. “Why?” “Because they kill excessively. Even if you don’t want to kill someone, you may end up doing that.” “You’re such a kind girl.” While saying so, Luimon seemed to worry. “However, defeating enemies without killing them is several times harder than killing them. It requires being several times stronger and smarter, which you are not right now.” Noloty didn’t say anything. He was absolutely right. “Our job is, after all, managing death. We change the present into the past and contain the past as the past. Saving people is due to our morals, not our duty. We might get blamed for not killing people, but we will not be praised for it. Even so, can you say with confidence that you don’t want to kill people?” “Yes.” Luimon sighed. “Perhaps you shouldn’t become an Armed Librarian. I have the feeling your convictions will someday be fatal for you.” “…Even so, I’ll work hard. Until I can win without killing.” As Noloty answered so, Luimon gazed at her worriedly. She recalled those events now. “Why won’t you kill me?” Zatoh had asked her. Even Noloty could understand – the best solution was to kill him. If he’s the Monster, he must be killed. She could look for Luimon’s Book afterwards. Because he belonged to the Indulging G.o.d Cult, Zatoh’s Book will not be found, but he still must be killed first and foremost. Any reasons to follow Hamyuts’s orders were already slim. If Hamyuts issued her orders while not knowing he was the Monster, her orders would become null and void. If she pa.s.sed orders while she did know of it, Hamyuts would be the one to be held responsible. And even if, say, Zatoh wasn’t the Monster, since he himself admitted on being the Monster, there shouldn’t be any problem in killing him. He must be killed. There was no other option. But even so, Noloty didn’t want to kill people. “I have killed too many people already.” Noloty recalled Zatoh’s words. Zatoh didn’t try killing himself. Even though it would have been much more convenient for him than being killed. Still, he didn’t kill himself. She noticed she had some affinity to him. Noloty was determined. She wasn’t afraid of angering people. She also wasn’t afraid of getting fired. While betting on her convictions, she will save that person. Noloty silently vowed this. At the same time on the dark road. Zatoh left the coal warehouse and was walking in the city on his own. Since it was already late at night, it would be difficult finding another place suitable to lodge in. Zatoh already stripped his blood-smeared clothes and changed. Even though he found a cheap hotel, he didn’t plan on staying there. He didn’t sleep in the warehouse because he had no money; it was because he could relax better in that sort of place. Suddenly, Zatoh stopped walking. He stared at his hand. That hand was trembling. It wasn’t normal. It trembled violently like the death throes of a dying insect. “Again?” Zatoh said. He felt this trembling when Noloty was tailing him and when he returned to the warehouse. Stabbing himself like before would be inconvenient. He won’t be able to stay at a hotel if he were to scatter blood like that. Zatoh grabbed his convulsing pinky and twisted it backwards. A terribly dry sound resounded from his hand’s bones. It was the sound of bones cracking. He clenched his teeth at this pain that felt like it a.s.saulted him from head to toe. Although he broke one bone, his hand’s convulsions didn’t stop. He twisted his ring finger next. He bent the joints on his finger one by one such that they took the shape of a spiral. When he touched his middle finger, the convulsions finally subsided. If he gave himself pain, the trembling would stop. The pain came out of his body and he sent it away. The bones began regenerating. As he watched it happen, Zatoh thought, The interval between each trembling is becoming shorter. “I must die as soon as possible.” He muttered.
THE SELF-CUTTING MAN, THE UNKILLING FIST – PART 2 March 17, 2016Tgurneu Zatoh turned his blood-covered face towards Noloty after getting up. “What are you doing?” He angrily asked. He didn’t seem to be in pain. He couldn’t possibly be a man who just shoved a sword into his heart and neck. Even his left hand didn’t have any wounds anymore. “Because you went after me, I thought you intended killing me. But you just wasted that chance to watch me… why?” I was busted, Noloty thought. She thought about escaping. If Zatoh is the Monster she couldn’t handle him by herself. She needs to escape and then call for a.s.sistance. Her reason called her to do that. Strangely, however, her feet couldn’t move. Why was that? Even if he had the same ability, it wasn’t enough evidence to say Zatoh truly is the Monster. Besides, she didn’t feel any hostility from him. Noloty couldn’t feel any intentions of attacking coming from him. She could feel in one way or another that this man only wished to hurt himself. Zatoh picked up the short sword that fell into the sea of blood. “Oh well. I’ll just try it again. This time I won’t fail.” “Huh?” Noloty raised a bewildered voice. “I’ll stab my heart and neck again. Once I have fallen, I’ll keep doing it until my regeneration can’t keep up. Then I will die.” After saying this, Zatoh directed the short sword to his chest. Noloty grabbed his hands. “Wai- Please wait!” “Why?” “Don’t just keep talking by yourself.” “…” “U-umm, I didn’t come to kill you. Please wait with that whole suicide business.” Once again, Zatoh looked angry. “Then why are you here?” Noloty hesitated a little. “I wanted to save you.” When Noloty said this, a strange atmosphere enveloped her as if the air was torn apart. She knew this kind of feeling. It was the atmosphere of facing the anger of an overwhelmingly strong person. “Save me?” “Yes.” “So it’s simple. Kill me. The only way of saving me is to kill me.” “…That doesn’t count as saving at all.” “Please don’t say something like suicide is wrong and I shouldn’t do it.” Noloty desperately focused her eyes on him as if to not get overwhelmed, and answered. “Suicide is wrong and you shouldn’t do it.” A shiver ran through her spine. She felt as if his stare was physically a.s.saulting her. “I advise you to go away while I’m still calm.” Noloty thought that would perhaps be best. However, she stopped herself from following his advice. If she would withdraw here, why did she come in the first place? Everything’s fine, Noloty encouraged herself. She could still stop him. Her superiors are far scarier. Compared to them she can’t be afraid of this person. “What are you doing? If you’re going away do it quickly.” Zatoh said angrily. “Choose quickly. Will you kill me, or will you scram?” “If I tell you I want neither, what will you do?” Zatoh sighed. And he seemed to become even angrier. “What do you think I’ll do?” “I don’t know. I’m not very smart.” Don’t avert your eyes. Noloty thought this while the two of them glared at one another. “Tell me just one thing. Who are you?” Zatoh thought for a while, averting his gaze from Noloty. “I’m just a fool.” After saying so, he fell silent. Noloty also didn’t know what to say and stayed silent. If this were a battle, this situation would like the both of them were stuck in a stalemate as they waited for each other’s moves. Since Noloty didn’t want to kill him but Zatoh wanted to die, they were incompatible. It was a battle conducted with something other than physical violence. The slender lamp illuminated the both of them. They could hear the roars of the sea from afar. Since the unceasing cries of the seagulls were not heard anymore, they probably went back to roost already. Noloty stared at the person in front of her as if ascertaining him. Is this person the Monster? If he is, why is he here, and why does he want to die? And if he isn’t the Monster, who is he? “Why did you come here?” Zatoh asked. Noloty didn’t answer. “Is it a mission from Hamyuts Meseta?” Bull’s-eye. Noloty’s face stiffened. Seeing her face, Zatoh further questioned her. “What’s Hamyuts Meseta trying to do?” “I don’t know. I’m just a subordinate.” “What’s your mission?” “…I don’t really know. I just need to save you, that’s all.” “Anyway, it seems like you weren’t told…” Zatoh’s eyes twinkled. Noloty could feel a pressure that wasn’t there before. “About me being the Monster.” Once again, a shiver ran down her spine. Her entire body became tense. Her feet screamed for her to run away. “Does an Armed Librarian trainee intend to save the Monster that attacked Bantorra Library?” “…Are you the Monster?” Noloty replied. “I’ve said it just now. I’m the Monster you guys are looking for.” Zatoh said resolutely. There was not a doubt anymore. Her secret mission or whatever didn’t matter. Kill him. Or if not, escape. Flee, call for reinforcements and kill this man. This was the rational decision. It was the natural course of action. But, why is it that Noloty couldn’t move? She could smell the scent of some lie in Zatoh’s words. She was bothered by something. She felt like something didn’t fit. In the battle between her reason and feelings, her feelings won. “…Thinking about it, you thought I came here to kill you, right?” “What?” “There’s a lot to think about. Certainly, if you’re the Monster, you need to be killed, but… I’m not naïve enough to be fooled by such a lie.” “What are you talking about?” Noloty talked while desperately trying not to let her voice shake. “I’m saying that you’re lying.” Zatoh ground his teeth. He was trying to suppress the anger that nearly reached its boiling point with reason. “Stop saying those stupid irresponsible things. That’s enough. Kill me already.” Aah, as I thought, Noloty thought to herself. He’s bad at lying. “If you were the Monster, you would have killed me long ago. Why would a person like that, who invaded Bantorra Library and killed some people, suddenly hesitate about killing me?” Noloty clearly confirmed that Zatoh became slightly fl.u.s.tered by her words. “I seek death. Killing you holds no meaning for me.” “If I were to die, plenty of my seniors from the Library would come here. People such as the Director or Mattalast-san will gang up on you. Wouldn’t it be easier that way?” “…” “‘Kill me because I’m the Monster’. If that’s what you want to say, you should have just attacked the Director and me without saying anything since the very beginning. Am I wrong?” Zatoh downcast his face and went silent for a while. He then raised it. “I see. I didn’t think of that.” Oh no, Noloty thought. Maybe I’ve made a huge mistake. “Let’s try it then.” Zatoh extended one hand towards Noloty. She fled backwards. She crashed into the pile of coal bags, which then collapsed and went flying at her. While knowing this would happen, she had no choice. The floor where Noloty stood before was burnt. Zatoh’s body began emitting sparks inside the dark warehouse. This was also the Monster’s ability she heard about from Mirepoc. Lightning. “Stupid woman.” Saying so, Zatoh reached towards Noloty who was buried under the sacks of coal. Noloty mustered her entire body’s strength to stand up. She flung the sack on top of her towards Zatoh. He lightly avoided the sack that came flying at him. However, she was able to buy enough time to roll towards the warehouse’s edge. Noloty stood up and turned around. “…Don’t move.” Once again, Zatoh’s hand shone with a blue light. Noloty immediately ran to the side. She would never be able to dodge the attack based on her sight. She had to move around and hope for good luck. She couldn’t do anything else. She barely dodged the second lightning strike. Sacks of coal burst open and rained on Noloty. “I told you not to move.” Zatoh’s lightning struck the place at the warehouse’s entrance. Just before her body touched the door, it was wrapped in lightning and its hinge was blown off. Noloty dodged the collapsing door. She didn’t manage to run away, but the door being open was a blessing in disguise. After somehow avoiding the lightning strikes several times, she started running towards the exit- And then, she noticed. Several times? What have I been avoiding in the first place? Are my physical abilities so good that I can avoid lightning strikes coming at the speed of light? Only someone like Mattalast-san should be able to avoid them using his Prediction. Zatoh’s hand glowed, and the next lightning strike came. However, Noloty didn’t avoid it. The lightning flew at her. This deadly attack hit in the distance of a meter from where Noloty was standing. Some sparks burnt Noloty’s bare feet, but that was all. “…” Zatoh went silent. He didn’t send another attack. Nothing. He didn’t intend on hitting her from the very beginning. He opened the door with his lightning and tried to make her run away. “…How kind of you.” Noloty said. Zatoh embarra.s.sedly turned his eyes away. “I can’t think of you as the Monster at all. How did you manage to have such a drastic change of heart in just a month?” “That’s enough. Just run away from here.” “And what should I do when I run away?” “Call another Armed Librarian here. It can be Hamyuts Meseta or anyone else.” “Are you still saying that? There should be a limit to being stubborn.” Then, Zatoh stared at Noloty with terribly serious eyes. “You’re the stubborn one, Noloty.” “Me?” Zatoh nodded. “Why won’t you kill me? There should be plenty of reasons. I called myself a Monster and attacked you. Even that should be enough to kill me. You mustered your courage, made things hard for yourself again and again, but you still won’t kill me. Is your mission of saving me such an important thing?” Now, it was Noloty who didn’t know what to say. What he said was true. She desperately searched for a reason not to kill him. It was because Hamyuts had given her that mission. No, that wasn’t it. She answered, “I just don’t like it. Why are you only thinking about killing and whatnot? Is something troubling you? That’s why you want to die and think that you have to? I told you I will save you. Or do you think I can help you if you don’t say anything?” “…” “This isn’t a matter of you wanting to die or me killing you, right?” “That’s enough.” Zatoh said. “I’ve had it with you. I’ll get killed by someone else.” “Zatoh-san!” “Don’t talk to me.” The lamp was broken by Zatoh’s lightning. As the slight flame that remained went off, the warehouse was wrapped in darkness. I probably can’t do anything here anymore. Noloty turned her back to Zatoh. “…I’ll come again.” “And do what?” “I don’t know. But if I won’t come, I can’t make anything happen.” “Aren’t you afraid of me?” “…More importantly,” Noloty asked finally, “Why didn’t you kill me?” She didn’t receive any answer. But when Noloty left the warehouse, she could faintly hear a voice coming from within the darkness. “…Because I have killed too many people already.” Noloty returned to the sheriff’s offices which were already empty. She sat on the sofa, put the newspaper on her knees and started thinking. Who is this Zatoh? Thinking about it plainly, he’s the Monster. He possesses the same abilities and admitted himself of being the Monster. However, he’s far too gentle for it. What am I going to do now? Even without this top secret mission, I have to save him. But if he’s really the Monster, I’m essentially betraying the Library. Should she save him or not? Should she follow Hamyuts’s orders or… Noloty worried about those things. Suddenly, a voice echoed inside her head. ‘Noloty, can you hear me?’ It was the Thought Sharing coming from Mirepoc, Noloty’s direct superior. Noloty took a piece of colored cloth from her back pocket in a hurry. This small banner, woven with Mirepoc’s hairs, was a Magic Tool designed to aid Thought Sharing. Without it, Noloty couldn’t send back her thoughts. ‘I hear you.’ ‘I see. Because you’re far, we can’t keep this up for a long time. What about Luimon’s Book?’ Thinking about it, her current mission was the search for Luimon’s Book. Because she was so preoccupied with Zatoh’s matters, she forgot about it. Frankly speaking about her current situation, she should probably back off the top secret mission, Noloty thought. But thinking about it, Zatoh said he was the one who stole the Book. Whether or not it was true, she should at least report that now. ‘I found some suspicious person. I’m focusing on him.’ ‘Great work.’ Mirepoc’s calm surprise was transmitted. She probably thought Noloty couldn’t resolve it on her own. ‘However, I still can’t fully grasp the situation. I don’t have enough information yet. I’ll report when I know more.’ ‘Does it seem like the Book can be recovered?’ ‘I still don’t know. I found the person who stole it, but as for its presence…’ ‘I see. I’m sure you know this, but the retrieval of the Book is your top priority. You understand?’ ‘Yes ma’am.’ She couldn’t answer that it was far from being so. If she were to say it, Mirepoc would come flying here in a rage from Bantorra. ‘I will also investigate the background of the crime.’ ‘…You don’t have to do that.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘Please kill him.’ Noloty gasped. ‘We’ll know the truth at the Library. There’s no need to keep him alive.’ ‘…’ Noloty didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t just agree with that order. ‘So you’re hesitating.’ Mirepoc’s disappointment was transmitted through. ‘I want you to realize already that your naiveté is inhibiting your growth.’ ‘…That’s…’ ‘…I’m expecting a good report.’ This was the limit of Mirepoc’s ability. The Thought Sharing was cut off there. Noloty collapsed on the sofa and sighed deeply. “Why are they all so focused on killing?” Noloty clenched her fist and struck the sofa. Then, she stared at that fist. Suddenly, she recalled the time when Luimon Mahaton was still alive. Until half a year ago, Noloty’s training instructor had been Luimon. Mirepoc replaced him after his death. “Why don’t you have a gun?” Luimon said this to her a long time ago. “Your fighting ability isn’t lacking. You’re definitely already stronger than me.” Saying this, Luimon pointed at Noloty with his index finger. He lightly flipped his finger as if shooting. “But you don’t have any sword or a gun.” Luimon’s weapon was a rifle with a bayonet. His giant body and physical strength allowed him to lightly handle this weapon which was too big to normally wield. Compared to that, Noloty’s only weapons were her fists wrapped in straw rope. Currently, many Armed Librarians used both guns and swords. A sword for when they were close, and a gun for when they were far. Almost all of them were like that, except for people like Mattalast who specialized in a single weapon or people like Hamyuts who possessed special abilities. Noloty did not choose this extremely reasonable fighting style. Instead, she chose the most irrational style – melee combat with her fists. “I hate guns.” Noloty answered Luimon’s question. “Why?” “Because they kill excessively. Even if you don’t want to kill someone, you may end up doing that.” “You’re such a kind girl.” While saying so, Luimon seemed to worry. “However, defeating enemies without killing them is several times harder than killing them. It requires being several times stronger and smarter, which you are not right now.” Noloty didn’t say anything. He was absolutely right. “Our job is, after all, managing death. We change the present into the past and contain the past as the past. Saving people is due to our morals, not our duty. We might get blamed for not killing people, but we will not be praised for it. Even so, can you say with confidence that you don’t want to kill people?” “Yes.” Luimon sighed. “Perhaps you shouldn’t become an Armed Librarian. I have the feeling your convictions will someday be fatal for you.” “…Even so, I’ll work hard. Until I can win without killing.” As Noloty answered so, Luimon gazed at her worriedly. She recalled those events now. “Why won’t you kill me?” Zatoh had asked her. Even Noloty could understand – the best solution was to kill him. If he’s the Monster, he must be killed. She could look for Luimon’s Book afterwards. Because he belonged to the Indulging G.o.d Cult, Zatoh’s Book will not be found, but he still must be killed first and foremost. Any reasons to follow Hamyuts’s orders were already slim. If Hamyuts issued her orders while not knowing he was the Monster, her orders would become null and void. If she pa.s.sed orders while she did know of it, Hamyuts would be the one to be held responsible. And even if, say, Zatoh wasn’t the Monster, since he himself admitted on being the Monster, there shouldn’t be any problem in killing him. He must be killed. There was no other option. But even so, Noloty didn’t want to kill people. “I have killed too many people already.” Noloty recalled Zatoh’s words. Zatoh didn’t try killing himself. Even though it would have been much more convenient for him than being killed. Still, he didn’t kill himself. She noticed she had some affinity to him. Noloty was determined. She wasn’t afraid of angering people. She also wasn’t afraid of getting fired. While betting on her convictions, she will save that person. Noloty silently vowed this. At the same time on the dark road. Zatoh left the coal warehouse and was walking in the city on his own. Since it was already late at night, it would be difficult finding another place suitable to lodge in. Zatoh already stripped his blood-smeared clothes and changed. Even though he found a cheap hotel, he didn’t plan on staying there. He didn’t sleep in the warehouse because he had no money; it was because he could relax better in that sort of place. Suddenly, Zatoh stopped walking. He stared at his hand. That hand was trembling. It wasn’t normal. It trembled violently like the death throes of a dying insect. “Again?” Zatoh said. He felt this trembling when Noloty was tailing him and when he returned to the warehouse. Stabbing himself like before would be inconvenient. He won’t be able to stay at a hotel if he were to scatter blood like that. Zatoh grabbed his convulsing pinky and twisted it backwards. A terribly dry sound resounded from his hand’s bones. It was the sound of bones cracking. He clenched his teeth at this pain that felt like it a.s.saulted him from head to toe. Although he broke one bone, his hand’s convulsions didn’t stop. He twisted his ring finger next. He bent the joints on his finger one by one such that they took the shape of a spiral. When he touched his middle finger, the convulsions finally subsided. If he gave himself pain, the trembling would stop. The pain came out of his body and he sent it away. The bones began regenerating. As he watched it happen, Zatoh thought, The interval between each trembling is becoming shorter. “I must die as soon as possible.” He muttered.
