Taking Chances: Tangled Up Part 26

Max took a step forward, the six-inch difference in their heights all the more obvious as he towered over her. Because he'd never done that before, either. He'd never been aggressive or dominant or even the least bit bossy.

"Guess so."

Her mouth dropped open. "You guess so? Have you or have you not been hiding a man I want to lick from head to toe?"

She heard the low rumble that sounded almost like a growl. Then he said simply, "That's enough." He turned away.

Away. When all she could think about was how close they could get out here in the dark before anyone came out. And, of course, the idea that they could mess around and possibly get caught also sent a spiral of desire through her.

She grabbed his arm. "Hey, you can't walk away."

He pulled out of her grasp. "The f.u.c.k if I can't."

She grabbed him again. "Max, stop. I want to talk about this. Why have you been hiding this from me? Especially if you knew I'd like it? And just how not sweet and nice and romantic are you?"

He swung around at that. "That's the thing, Bree. I am sweet and nice and romantic."

"But you've got this other side. A side that totally works for me," she said.

Max shut his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. And swore again.

"Max, think about it. Best friends, who love all the same things, who have all this chemistry. Now you know I'm into the stuff you like in the bedroom, too. This is perfect."

He opened his eyes and shook his head. "That's just it, Bree. You're not into the stuff I like."

"I love things hard and fast and dirty, you know that."

"That is not what I'm talking about." His voice was low and even a little menacing.

Bree couldn't quite suppress the shiver of delight at that. "Tell me what you're talking about."

She didn't think he was going to for a moment. But then he stepped forward, backing her up against the truck behind her. He leaned in and braced a hand on the truck, beside her shoulder. She swallowed hard.

"I don't think you'll be able to get there with the way I like things."

"Are you kidding? I got there in the ditch the other day with just your fingers."

His eyes narrowed. "Not what I meant."

"Then what?"

"You won't go for the intimacy that has to come first."

"I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of women getting tied to beds and fuc-"

"Stop it," he bit off. Max pushed back away from her and the truck. "That's exactly it. I don't want to f.u.c.k you, Bree."

Well, ouch. "You were pretty into it the other day in the locker room."

He nodded. "I was. And that's how I know I don't want to do that again."

Definitely ouch. "Hey." Okay, Max didn't know everything she'd realized about her feelings for him. Kit thought she needed to tell him. Fine. She'd never done this before, but she could. She took a deep breath and grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands. "I'm in, here, Max. In. For all of it. Whatever you want."

He shook his head and pulled her hands from his shirt. "You're not. You forget how well I know you. If I thought there was any chance you would be in, I would . . ." He shook his head, clearly frustrated. "But I do know you," he said without finishing the first thought.

"What do you think you know so well?" she asked.

"That this all sounds exciting only because it's something new and different for us, and you're always up for new and different. And I know you could be into some really fun stuff that would take a long time to get tired of," he said.

She opened her mouth to reply, but he wasn't done.

"But even that high will fade, Bree."

"So you'll keep helping me find it again," she said. "Just like our trips. You and me and the best s.e.x-toy catalogs in the world."

For just a second, Max's eyes flared with heat.

But then he said, "I won't survive when you move on after all of that."

"How do you know I'll move on?"

"You always move on."

"But if it's amazing with you, if it's everything I need-"

"That if is not a risk I'm willing to take," Max said.

It wasn't a risk. This was Max. Her and Max. "It's not-"

"Do you know why I live in Oklahoma City?" he asked suddenly.

She stopped. "What do you mean?"

"It's because I know you. I know what makes you tick, what stays on your mind, what makes you love something."

She felt a combination of confused and curious. "What does that have to do with Oklahoma City?"

He clenched his jaw, then crossed his arms, feet apart as if bracing for a fight, and met her eyes directly. "I only see you for a week at a time-at most-because that works best with you. I come to town, we do something fun and exciting, give you your adrenaline fix, and then I leave before you decide I'm your Sweet Cream Dream."

He was her Sweet Cream Dream. But Bree knew he didn't understand that the way she did. "You live in Oklahoma City and only come to Chance for short visits because you think that's what keeps me interested in our friendship? In you?"

"It keeps you from getting bored."

Bored. He thought she got bored with Sweet Cream Dream. And everything else that she only stuck with for a little bit at a time.

"Bored with you?" she asked.

"And the time we spend together."

This was crazy. Bree's heart was suddenly pounding as her head swirled with what he was telling her. "You live in Oklahoma City because of me?"

He shrugged. "And my job."

"But you live away from Chance because of me?"

"More or less."

"But Max . . . we're . . . friends." She felt hurt. Or something.

"We're friends." He nodded. "On my terms."

She felt her eyes widen at that. "I don't understand."

"I come visit no more than once a month because that's how long it takes for you to get antsy to go and do something big. I'm never in town more than thirty minutes before I have you out on your bike or on a dirt bike or a snowmobile. I make sure when we're together, we're doing stuff you love. And then I leave while it's still fun and you haven't come down from the high yet."

She stared at him. "You have it down to the minute like that?"

"I've known you for a long time, Bree. And I've been paying attention."

She had no idea what to say to all this. The hurt feeling intensified even though he was telling her that he was doing it because he knew her well and cared about her being happy. "I can't believe you do all of that for me."

"I do all of that for me," he said firmly.

She shook her head and started to reply-with what, she wasn't sure.

"I started riding dirt bikes because you were bored with the telescope and swimming. But then you wanted to learn how to water ski. Then you wanted to learn how to rock climb. Then you wanted-"

"Okay." She cut him off. "Point taken. But you loved-still love-all that stuff, too."

"Yeah, but I never got tired of the old stuff."

A long, long moment pa.s.sed.

Max thought she'd get bored if they spent more time together, if he was here more often and longer at a time. She really didn't want that to be true. But they'd never tested it. He'd been away from Chance for ten years.

"I know I can give you what you want," he said after the silence between them had stretched several seconds. "But you can't give me what I want."

A shot of irritation streaked through her. Really? She couldn't, didn't, give him anything that he wanted? Anyone could warm his bed, but she was the only one who would spend a week in the Grand Canyon with him. She was willing to sacrifice showering and going without gummy bears for a week for this guy. Could the other women say that?

"How many women have you taken skydiving?" she asked, braced to feel intensely jealous if he said even one. She'd always thought that was all theirs, something that was special.

And that's when it hit her that, while she loved the adrenaline-a lot-it wouldn't have been as good without Max. She looked forward to the skydiving because he was going to be there with her. The jumping was fun. But she wasn't so sure she would have done as much of it if he hadn't been there with her every time.

He pulled air in through his nose and let it out through his mouth. "I don't meet women who want to jump out of airplanes very often," he admitted.

"You meet women who want candlelit dinners and cuddling on the couch," she said.

"I do."

"Because you also like those things."

"I do."

G.o.d, if he ever found a woman who wanted candlelight and cuddling and jumping out of planes . . . Bree could lose him. A sudden panic made her heart flutter. She'd been a.s.suming that she'd always have him, would always have them. But that was ridiculous. She'd never thought about it-which was crazy-but someday, surely, Max would meet a woman who would take Bree's place. Because Max was a romantic. He wanted a long-term, committed relationship. He wanted to get married.

It hit her like someone had slapped her in the face. Max wanted to get married. Or he would. Someday. Surely. And Bree would lose him.

Finally, she lifted her chin, working hard on not letting the tears in her eyes show. "Okay, got it."

He frowned slightly, studying her face. This was Max. She couldn't hide what she was thinking or feeling.

"What have you got?"

"What you said about me not giving you what you need." Bree pushed away from the truck and started in the direction of her car.

Max caught her by the arm. "I didn't . . ." But he trailed off.

She prayed for a second that he would say something that would make it all okay. That he would ease the huge fist that seemed to be trying to crumple her heart.

Instead, he stared into her eyes, then let go of her arm. "Five years ago, I would have taken you up on all of this. Even two years ago. I do want you. G.o.d." He shoved a hand through his hair. "More than I've ever physically wanted a woman ever. Most of the time I'm convinced you're the reason I can't get serious about anyone else."

Even as she knew there was a "but" coming, Bree felt warmth spread through her body. "But now? What do you want that you're not taking me up on this now?"

"I want . . . it all. I want to settle down. Get married. Have kids. I've wanted it for a while now."

She pressed her lips together and nodded. She'd been right.

"And I want to come home."

Bree felt like that same fist was now squeezing her lungs. "Oh."

He nodded.

She frowned. "And you can't come home because of me. Because you're afraid I'd get bored with you."

"I guess . . ." He clearly didn't want to go on.

"Come on, Max," she said. "I think we need to have this whole conversation."

She could point out that she could leave at the end of August. If he wanted to be home and she was keeping him away, she could go. But suddenly, that didn't seem pertinent. Because they both knew she'd end up back in Chance eventually? Because since talking to Ashley she'd remembered the things she liked about her job here? And that she was good at it.

Or maybe because the things Max wanted didn't sound so bad.

"I didn't know if it would . . . work," he said, clearly frustrated. "How it would feel being with another woman, seeing you with other men. If I lived here full-time, we would have to deal with that. And they would have to deal with us spending time together and the trips . . . I just didn't . . ."

"The time together and trips would have been over," she said, filling in what he wasn't willing to say. He was right. But she'd never thought about any of this. Because he wasn't here. And her boyfriends didn't stick around long enough to care about her excess time and trips with Max.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly.