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"You must learn to be still," he told me.
"I'm kind of a busy man," I said. "You know-me being the jhihadi. There's much to think about. It's hard to find time to be still."
Another gesture, another pinch of herbs drifted onto the coals. Smoke rose. The back of my throat felt numb. This time I couldn't suppress a cough. I wanted very much to open the door-flap, or retreat outdoors altogether, but I had a feeling that among the Vashni, rudeness might be a death sentence.
Oziri smiled, handed me a bota.
I unstoppered it, smelled the sharp tang of Vashni liquor. Just what I needed. But I drank it to wash away the taste of the herbs, nodded my thanks, handed it back. Oziri drank as well, then set it aside.
"What-" I cleared my throat, swallowed down the tingle of another cough. "What exactly are the herbs for?"
"Stillness."
"So I can understand my dreams." I couldn't help it; I scowled at him. "What is it with you priests? Why do all of you speak so thrice-cursed obscurely? Can't you ever just say anything straight out? Don't you get sick of all this melodramatic babbling?"
"Of course," Oziri said, nodding, "but people tend not to listen to plain words. Stories, they hear. They remember. The way a warrior learns-and remembers-a lesson by experiencing pain."
It was true I recalled sword-dancing lessons more clearly when coupled with a thump on the head or a thwack on the shin. I'd just never thought of it in terms of priests before. "So, how is you know about my dreams?"
"It is not a difficult guess." Oziri's expression was ironic. "Everyone dreams."
"But why do my dreams matter?"
His dark brows rose slightly. "You're the jhihadi."
I gazed at him. "You don't really believe it, do you?"
"I do." "Because the Oracle said so?"
"Because the Oracle said so when he had no tongue."
"But-there must have been some kind of logical explanation for that."
"He had no tongue," Oziri said plainly. "He could make sounds but no words. I examined his empty mouth, the mutilation. Yet when we brought him down from Beit al'Shahar, he could speak as clearly as you or I. He told us about the jhihadi. He told us a man would change the sand to gra.s.s." His smile was faint. "Have you not shown us how?"
He meant the water-filled line in the dirt, with greenery stuck in the end of it. I'd done it twice before various Vashni. "It's just an idea," I explained lamely. "Anyone could have come up with it. You take water from where it is, and put it where's it not. Things grow." I shrugged.
"Nothing magical about that. You could have come up with it."
"But I am just a humble priest," Oziri said with a glint of amus.e.m.e.nt in his eyes.
"And I'm just a sword-dancer," I told him. "At least, I was. There is some objection to me using the term, now."
"Among other things." Oziri took up another pinch of herb, tossed it onto the coals with a wave of supple fingers. "The jhihadi is a man of many parts. But he is not a G.o.d, and thus he is not omniscient. Therefore he must be taught."
Be taught what? I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't understand. Couldn't. Because no more was I seated across the fire from Oziri but had somehow come to be lying flat on my back, staring up at the smoke hole. The closed smoke hole. No wonder it was so thick inside the hyort.
Oziri's voice. "A man must learn to be still if he is to understand." Understand what?
But I didn't ask it. Couldn't. My eyes closed abruptly. What little control of my body I retained drained away. I was conscious of the furs beneath me, the scent of herbs, the taste of liquor in my mouth.
It would be a simple matter for the Vashni to kill me. But he merely put something into one lax hand, closed the fingers over it, and bade me hold it.
Hard. Rough. Not heavy. Not large. It fit easily into the palm of my hand.
"Be still," Oziri said, "so you may hear it." Hear what? "Truth," the Vashni said.
I came back to myself with a jolt. For a minute I just lay there on the rug, staring up at the hyort's smoke hole, until I felt the hand insinuating itself behind my head and lifting it up. A bota was at my mouth.
"Drink," Del said. "Oziri said you would need to." Del. Del. I wasn't in Oziri's hyort anymore. I sat bolt upright, saw the hyort we now shared revolve around me, cursed weakly, and slumped back down. I took a swallow because she insisted, discovered I was incredibly thirsty, and proceeded to suck most of the water out of the skin. Then I lay there on my back and hugged the flaccid bota against my chest, scowling up at the stars visible through the smoke hole as I tried to put my world back together.
"What happened?" Del asked.
I closed my eyes. Felt the residual burning from the herbs and smoke. "I have no idea."
"Don't you remember?"
"Only that Oziri kept dumping herbs onto the fire. I thought I was going to choke." I looked at her. "They brought me back here?" Del nodded. "A while ago."
I worked myself up onto elbows, then upright. This time the hyort did not spin so rapidly.
"Did Oziri say what they did?"
"He called it 'dream-walking,' " Del replied. "I'm not sure what it is, except that Oziri said you needed to learn it." She shrugged. "He asked me questions about what happened to you on Skandi."
"And you told him?"
"I didn't see why I shouldn't."
Well, Del didn't know the whole of it, either. Some things I couldn't bring myself to talk about, even with her. I squirted the last of the water into my mouth and tossed the bota aside. "I don't remember anything. Did he say I actually did whatever it is a dream-walker does?"
"No. Just that he expects to see you again tomorrow."
"What for?"
"I don't know, Tiger. I don't speak priest."
I glared at her. Del smiled back blandly. I closed my eyes again, tried to recall what had happened in Oziri's hyort. The back of my throat felt gritty. I cleared it, hacked, then began to cough in earnest. Del dug up another bota and gave it to me. After a few more swallows, the worst of the coughing faded.
"I don't see any sense in trying it again," I said hoa.r.s.ely, "whatever it is."
"They are our hosts. It would be rude to refuse."
"And if he asked to cut off toes to match my fingers, would it be rude to refuse?"
Del, yawning, lay down on her pallet, dragging a thin blanket up over her shoulder. "It's hardly the same."
"The point is . . ."
After a moment, Del said, "Yes?"
Nothing came out of my mouth.
"Tiger?"
I toppled backward, landing on rugs. I felt the dribble of water across my chest, the weight of bota. Limbs spasmed.
Then Del was at my side. "Tiger?"
I couldn't speak. Hearing was fading.
Hands cupped the sides of my head. "Tiger!"
But I was gone.
TWENTY.
ONCE AGAIN I came back to myself with someone pouring a drink down my throat, but this one was noxious. I choked, swallowed, choked some more. Then someone dragged me up into a sitting position, where I sputtered the dregs all over the front of my burnous. Fingers closed painfully on my jaw, holding my head still I saw eyes peering into my own.
I wanted to ask who of the Vashni had four eyes in place of two, but then they merged, and I recognized the face. Oziri's. It was his hand clamped on my jaw, squeezing my flesh.
"Le'goo," I mumbled through the obstruction.
He let go. I worked my jaw, running my tongue around the inside of my mouth. No blood, though I felt teeth scores in flesh. "What was that for?"
Oziri ignored my question and asked one of his own. "What did you see?"
"See where?"
Del interrupted both of us. "Is he going to be all right?"
"What did you see?" Oziri repeated.
"Is he going to be all right?."
I answered both of them. "Hoolies, I don't know."
"Tiger-" Del began.
"Be silent!" Oziri commanded.
My tongue worked. So did my mouth. So, apparently, did everything. I frowned at him, because I could.
"Not you," he said more quietly. "Her."
Del's tone was the one you don't ignore, even if you don't know her. "I have a right to ask if he is well."
I put up a hand. "Stop. Wait. Both of you." I squinted a moment. "I feel all right. I think.
What happened?"
Oziri's expression was solemn. "You dream-walked."
"I thought that was what you wanted me to do in your hyort."
"In my hyort, yes. This is not my hyort."
"I did it here? Now?"
"What did you see?" Oziri asked.
"I didn't see-oh. Wait. Maybe I did." I frowned, trying to dredge it up. "There's something, I think. A fragment. But-" I clamped my teeth together.
Oziri seemed to read my reluctance. His mouth hooked down in a brief, ironic smile. "This is why you must train yourself to be still. That way not only do you walk the dream, but you understand it. You recall it at need and allow it to guide you. Otherwise it's no different from what anyone dreams." I glanced briefly at Del, who wore an expression of impatient self-restraint-she wasn't happy with Oziri-then looked at the Vashni. "I'm not sure I want it to be any different from what anyone dreams."
"Too late," he said dryly. "You are the jhihadi."
"Can I quit?" I asked hopefully.
He laughed. "But if you are no longer the jhihadi, then you are not a guest of my people. I would have to kill you."
"Ah. Well, then, never mind." I sighed. "So, I'm just supposed to remember what I dreamed?"
Oziri nodded. "No more, no less than any memory. Yes."
"And there's a message for me in it?"
"Not this one," he said. "This was merely the test, to see if you have the art. There is more, but I will explain that later." He gestured briefly. "Recall the walk."
To remember my dream did not seem a particularly dangerous challenge. I recalled portions of my dreams the day after on a regular basis, though the immediacy faded within a matter of hours, sometimes minutes. Some stray fragments remained with me for years and occasionally bubbled up into consciousness for no reason I could fathom, but I'd never purposely tried to recall them. It seemed a waste of time. But the explanation of dream-walking, which I didn't exactly fully understand, seemed to require enforced recollection.
Oziri spoke of stillness. Sahdri and his fellow priest-mages had spoken of discipline. One seemed very like the other.
I closed my eyes. Focused away from the hyort, going inside myself. I waited, felt the tumult of my thoughts and apprehensions -I hate anything that stinks of magic-and purposely suppressed them. In the circle, I could be still. I had learned to relax my body. Now I relaxed my mind, and found memory.
My eyes opened even as my left hand closed. I raised it. "I saw-death." I uncurled fingers.
My palm was empty. "Here, in my hand. Death."
Oziri nodded. "What else?"
"A man. From Julah. He was searching for something." I frowned. Felt weight in my hand, though it remained empty. "You killed him."