Stranger’s Handbook Chapter 87

“A…are we gonna have a baby?”
“Hahaha, yes, Zest-sama.”
(Congratulations, Mom, Dad!)

“Thi…thi…thi…this is serious! Call the maids unit’s physician……No, maybe the medical soldiers? Or maybe I should do it? No, call a woman medical soldier!”
“Please calm down, Zest-sama.”

(Ahaha, Dad is acting funny!)

“Ha!? Bea, is it really all right for you not to be in bed? Is it okay to move this much?”

“Zest-sama, being pregnant is not a disease, you know? I’m fine.”

(Dad, is this the first time you’ll have a child born to you? Even though you’re so good at making them?)

“ “…………….” “

Toto, please stop……You’re doing too much damage.

Both our faces turned completely red and we swore that from now on we’ll pay close attention to our surroundings.

“Congratulations, your Excellency. If it’s a boy, I will definitely nurse him!”

“No, no, don’t listen to that your Excellency. Only the maids unit is suitable to nurse him.”

“Your Excellency, the intelligence unit will most certainly train him before the coming of age……..”

“Oh, oh, I will be the one to nurse him!”

Media, you’re no good……Just give me a break!

The muscle brains started a battle for who was going to act like the baby’s nanny, but I ignored them and began to write some letters.

Each time things happen, you have to write and send letters.

In j.a.pan you make phone calls or send e-mails, but here you must work yourself harder. It’s so troublesome…

I finished writing the letters and wanted to take a short break……but I couldn’t do that.

n.o.bles from the capital city came in succession to bring gifts and congratulate us.

“Congratulations, your Excellency. With this the Duke’s Household is secure. I also have an infant and maybe………”

“Hahaha, this is such a joyous occasion. First, I must start preparing for a banquet. You, sir, will attend it too, right?”

I greeted all the n.o.bles, while trying to avoid their forced flattery.

If I end up saying something to them, it might turn up into a promise or even an engagement, so I had to be very careful.

“Foster father, foster mother, I congratulate you for the pregnancy!”

“………..Thanks Tsubaki. Why are you saluting us?”

“Yes sir! It’s what everyone taught me!”

“Bring those muscle brains to me!”

My head started to hurt because of Tsubaki’s thoroughly military salute.

Why the heck did they teach her!?

When I reported this to Bea, she laughed saying ‘Well, well, I did that too when I was little. It’s so nostalgic…..Ahaha, this happens a lot with children.’

Isn’t it normal for little girls to dream about their prince charming on a white horse or something? It’s definitely strange for them to ride the horses themselves and rampage around……

I secretly asked Katalina about this too, but she deceived me.

‘I was not born a n.o.ble so I don’t really know-nya. However, if that’s what madam is saying, it must be the truth-nya. In fact, there’s no point in opposing her-nya!’

…………..She was right, so I gave up.

Indeed. I decided that I shouldn’t feel too troubled about all this; because this is a different world, why shouldn’t there be princess warriors here too!?

There are various definitions of what being girly means……..I’ll face the opposition saying that this is the Duke’s Household’s style.

I could finally take a short rest after I finished with the queue of greetings.

I spent this break in my office, looking at the awful scene unfolding in front of me and sighed.

There was a mountain of presents in my office……..

“Katalina, once you finish with the indexing, you can choose whatever you like and take it with you, okay?”

“Nya!? I’ll do my best-nya!”

Since Katalina was in charge of indexing the presents that arrived, my words motivated her considerably.

There were a lot of them, and, honestly, I only needed to know what came and from who, then I’ll dispose of most of them; they were just too many.

And I also have to send something back…………..

Cloth and jewels, sake and armors, and the sort.

However, there was a pairless shoe and a pair of used underwear mixed with the rest of the presents too.

What the……Are these guys picking a fight with me?

Katalina threw away a headless doll. The maids unit joined her a few moments ago, and as I was looking at them working, I realized something very important.

They were all crouching……..while wearing skirts……

I nonchalantly adjusted my position in the chair, but I did so very slowly.

I could not hurry.

With utmost carefulness, I left my body sink in that chair.

Just a little more and the angle is perfect…….Just a little more and I’ll be able to see……

This was not peeping; this was a conduct in order to a.s.sess the work of my subordinates from all sides and angles. I only felt a slight guilt.

I finally arrived in paradise and burned the scene into my memory.

It’s great when you see them up close, but a fluttering view offers a different kind of pleasure.

I pinched my leg, in order for the pain to stop my face from getting too gross, and continued to watch over their work.

When I came to my senses, the job was already finished and it was evening.

………………Fuu, it was a wonderful paradise.

I immersed myself into that memory as I drank some tea when Katalina came to report.

“Your Excellency, we finished-nya! I would like to have this-nya!”

“Ah, I don’t mind. You can take whatever you want…………..”

…………….What? Is that?

She was holding a mysterious piece of cloth that emanated a suspicious aura.

She wanted such a terrifying thing………No, actually, who was the idiot who sent that as a present………?

“It’s the first time I’m seeing a cloth that makes chests grow big-nya! This is the legendary t.i.ts-cloth that is used to grow huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s-nya!!”

After that, a battle for the extremely rare t.i.ts-cloth started.

Katalina and Media’s fight lasted for 3 days and 3 nights; this battle swallowed up the black knights too and ended up partially destroying my mansion.

Media was the winner at the end of this fierce battle, and so the curtain dropped over the t.i.ts-cloth incident.

“…………..I’ll pay the reparations from your salaries, all right?”

I informed the maids unit as they cleaned up the mess, half crying. Media squeezed her most valuable t.i.ts-cloth.

“Your Excellency, with this I’ll have huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s too……finally……….”

She said and collapsed the next instant; she was covered in blood, but she didn’t let go of that cloth.

I checked it with evaluation magic and the thing actually appeared to be an ‘extremely smelly loincloth.

In the end, I couldn’t tell them that……………