Still Thinking Of You Part 21

'Yes.'

'Well, I called it off, but Jayne doesn't seem to accept that it's over.'

'Christ. She's sore?'

'Very. It's not as though it was a relationship or anything. It was just s.e.x. Strictly after hours.'

Jason took a deep breath, and all this information, in. He was glad that Mia had misread the situation and that Rich wasn't in the midst of a pa.s.sionate affair with Jayne just days before he married Tash.

Jase liked Tash.

But then, Jase liked liked Jayne.

He felt slightly sickened. How could Rich treat Jayne so casually, so disrespectfully? Jayne was lovely, intelligent and funny. She was also that scary thing that all men should avoid in casual s.h.a.gs, she was deep. Deep was one step away from mad. Mad was miles away from discreet.

And then there was Jason's main concern. 'Mate, how could you?'

'What?'

's.h.a.g someone for over a decade and not even mention it to me. I thought we told each other everything.'

'Sorry. Yeah. Like I said, it was complicated. A tricky situation.'

The truth was wild horses wouldn't have dragged a confession out of Rich if Jayne hadn't turned up at his wedding party. His feelings for her were an ugly mix of l.u.s.t and shame and guilt and fear. Not something he was prepared to share over a bottle of designer beer and a game of FIFA.

'You are so f.u.c.king lucky, mate,' said Jason.

Rich felt about as lucky as the guy who had won a couple of tickets to see the World Cup final, but didn't have a pa.s.sport.

'You've lost me,' he sighed.

'Well, Tash has to be the coolest babe on the planet to be dealing with all this, to have allowed Jayne here in the first place. You've really picked someone special there, mate. You lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d.'

Jase didn't think Rich deserved to be this lucky. He didn't deserve ten years of secret, no-strings-attached s.h.a.gging with s.e.xy Jayne, let alone deserve to have found such an understanding and foxy life partner in Tash. Rich was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d with women. But, then again, Jason was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d with women, too, and also one of the great undeserving. Rich's story gave him hope.

'She doesn't know,' sighed Rich.

Jason was aghast. 'But I thought you two didn't keep secrets from one another. The pair of you are always going on about how honesty makes your relationship. I thought you told each other everything.' Maybe not the snogging last night, Jason mentally conceded, but the history, surely.

'Everything but this. Mate, I didn't even tell you this, how could I tell Tash?'

While Jason found this rea.s.suringly flattering, he also saw his friend's dilemma. How could Rich treat Tash so dishonestly, so disrespectfully? Tash was lovely, intelligent and funny.

'Do you think Mia will say anything to Tash?' asked Rich.

'I doubt it. They're hardly bosom buddies.'

'Don't you think so? I hoped they'd get on.'

'Well, they don't,' Jase stated. He was amazed that Rich could have missed this. Clearly he was self-delusional. 'And you want to thank your lucky stars that Mia doesn't consider herself Tash's friend and doesn't think she owes her any girlie loyalty or honesty.'

'You don't think she'd say anything out of spite, though, do you?' Rich panicked.

'No. Mia's too rational for that.'

The guys fell silent. They were both thinking that the same rea.s.surance could not be given about Jayne. Jason wanted to bolster his friend, but wasn't sure if he could.

'I thought she was OK with the arrangement and cool when I called it off. But, looking back, I wonder if it is coincidence that out of all the management consultancies in London she just so happened to end up working in mine. And just before we came away I got a memo introducing a new member of staff into my division. Guess who?'

'Jayne.'

'Correct. Give the man a cuddly toy. Then she w.a.n.gles an invite to my b.l.o.o.d.y wedding. I bought all that c.r.a.p about her needing to be here as she was getting over an ex because '

'You wanted to.'

'Exactly. And then every time I turn round, on the slopes, in the hotel, she's there.'

'Right,' nodded Jason.

'Dropping hints, being indiscreet. She's showing signs of being a...' Rich didn't want to finish the sentence.

'Bunny boiler,' confirmed Jason.

'Exactly. And finally, last night, she tells me she loves me.'

'Oh, mate.'

'Exactly.' Rich realized that he was repeating the decisive and certain word precisely because he did not feel either decisive or certain of anything. 'What should I do?'

Tension and panic had drained the blood from Rich's face so that if it wasn't for his ultra-hip black Salomon jacket and trousers he would be entirely camouflaged against the snow. His tan sat uncomfortably on his face, red blotches against a pale canvas, reminding Jason of a kid's colouring book where splashes of colour are clumsily applied.

'Did you ever give her anything?'

Rich looked at Jason, unable to hide his disgust. 'You mean like herpes?'

'No. Mate, I know you well enough to know that you may not be too fussy about where you tuck it, but you are always careful to dress for the occasion. I meant like tokens. Letters, cards, anything at all that would incriminate you?'

'No. No, nothing at all. I keep telling you it wasn't like that.'

'Then you're OK,' smiled Jason, pleased to be on sure ground again, pleased to be able to offer his mate a solution. 'If she says anything to Tash, it's her word against yours. Bluff it out. Say she's lying. Say she's demented.'

'I couldn't do that.'

'Why not?'

'Well, she isn't lying. And, more importantly, I don't want to lie to Tash.'

Jason didn't want to be unnecessarily cruel, but he believed the situation demanded a certain measure of realism. 'You mean you don't want to lie to her again.'

43. Alone Together.

Tash had woken up with a nagging hangover, made worse by disappointment when she discovered that Rich had left early to go boarding. He hadn't left her a note to say when he'd be back or where he'd be, in case she wanted to meet up with him. She'd thought that she had plans of her own, but it was beginning to look as though they might not come off. Tash had stood in the foyer of the hotel, waiting for Jayne, for half an hour now, and there was no sign of her. Last night they'd agreed to meet at 9.15 a.m. to go s...o...b..arding together, but Tash wondered if Jayne had forgotten altogether or simply slept in. She was just about to go and look for her when she spotted Lloyd coming out of the lifts.

'Hi.' Lloyd was thrilled to see Tash. 'Would you like to join us? Kate, Ted and I are going to La Chapelle d'Abondance.'

Lloyd was desperate for Tash to take him up on the offer. He knew that Ted was depressed and Kate was deceived, and as a consequence Lloyd was disheartened. Kate seemed to be aware of her husband's profound sadness, but could not understand how a fall on the slopes had brought about such an air of melancholy. She repeatedly asked Ted, and then Lloyd, for a further explanation neither could nor would provide. Ted had agreed to ski, but only because he thought that they could ski at a distance from one another, using the open s.p.a.ce to hide in. Lloyd couldn't imagine the morning being that much fun. Perhaps if Tash joined them the mood would be less edgy.

Ted's confession weighed heavily on Lloyd's mind. He'd had no idea. Of course he hadn't. He hadn't seen Ted for months, not properly, not to talk to. And, besides, he'd been absorbed in his own problems. Lloyd felt a little ashamed. He'd called Greta late last night, hoping that she would offer some comfort or cheer. She did accept his apology for his call on Sat.u.r.day, but she'd still been a little monosyllabic when it came to dishing out the sympathy towards Ted.

'I think he should talk to his wife. He's not being fair.'

'Do you think I should talk to Kate?'

'Don't be foolish, Lloyd. It is none of your business,' Greta had replied in her brutal, Austrian, plain-talking way. She had then turned the conversation to one about her setting up the video the previous night, but it recording the wrong channel. Greta blamed the video recorder for being too complex. Lloyd admired her confidence. He knew that in the same situation he would have blamed himself for being too simple. He couldn't really expect her to sympathize with the dilemmas of his friends, not when she hadn't even met them and they'd shown no interest in meeting her. At least she hadn't blown a fuse that it had taken him forty-eight hours to call her back. Sophie would have gone wild about something like that. Life was easier with Greta. He smiled at the thought.

Lloyd grinned hopefully at Tash. He could certainly do with some light relief, and he wondered if Tash was prepared to be just that.

'You'd be doing me a big favour. Things are a little tense between Ted and Kate.'

'Oh, why is that?'

Lloyd stumbled, 'Ted has been a bit stroppy since his fall.' Lloyd blushed as he realized that he'd used the words 'Ted' and 'has been' in the same sentence. However innocently meant it was too close for comfort. 'I think he's a bit tender.'

Lloyd felt mean portraying Ted as the archetypal man who couldn't handle or admit to pain, but in many ways that was exactly what Ted was.

Tash liked Lloyd because of his drunken but excruciatingly honest outburst the other night and did want to get to know him better; however, she didn't fancy spending the morning with Ted or Kate. The thought of stammering her way through conversations about the headline news in Les Echos chilled her to the bone. No, of course, she hadn't read the papers. She never read newspapers except on Sunday, and even then she mostly read the colour supplements, and besides that she was on holiday. And to top it all off the newspapers were in French! Nor was she up to having to dredge up an opinion on League tables for preschools in central London. Her tongue and head were too swollen with alcohol and her stomach was having its own private rave.

'I'd love to, Lloyd, but I'm supposed to be meeting Jayne. If she ever turns up.'

'Where's Rich?'

'Not sure. He might be boarding with Jason. He left before I woke up this morning.'

'Well, I do know Jason had a very early start, too,' Lloyd grinned.

'Really?' Tash could sniff gossip.

'He took a lady friend, and I use the term "lady" very loosely, back to his last night. Jase has the room next to mine. Honestly, I'm thinking of suing him for noise pollution.'

Tash giggled. 'You're just jealous.'

'No, I'm not. Really. I don't want a string of minuscule chances at love. However busty and blonde and young that chance might be. I'm too old for those dance-floor encounters.'

'You're the same age as Jase.'

'Only in reality, and Jase doesn't live in reality,' Lloyd smiled and shrugged.

Tash wondered if Jayne had somehow got wind of the fact that Jase had been entertaining. Maybe she was upset.

'I'd better go and look for Jayne.'

'Will Mia be joining you two?'

Tash shook her head. What did Lloyd take her for, a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t?

'In that case, if you see her, tell her to call me on my mobile after her lesson with Pierre, and I'll come to meet her.'

'She's having a lesson with Pierre?' Tash couldn't help but smile to herself. Mia had been so dismissive of the idea.

'Yes, but it's a secret. She wants to pretend she's a natural, so don't mention that I let it slip. She chose Pierre because, apparently, he has very large forearms and that makes him a great boarder,' Lloyd winked and headed off towards the reception.

Tash knocked on Jayne's door twice before Jayne answered it. Jayne opened the door just an inch or two. When she saw Tash her beam disappeared and disappointment flickered across her face. Tash realized that Jayne had obviously been expecting Jason. Poor girl.

'Hi, I wondered if you were still on for boarding,' smiled Tash.

Jayne stared at her, confused. She shook her head.

It had never occurred to Jayne that she could lose him.

She wanted to resolutely believe that now she had told Rich exactly how she felt no more games, no more playing it cool it was only a matter of time before he called off the pathetic and stupid wedding to the pathetic and stupid Natasha, and flung himself into her open arms. She'd hoped it was him knocking at her door. But he patently hadn't talked to Tash yet and, in light of last night's conversation, even Jayne's extreme confidence in the power of her love was trembling a little. It took every ounce of Jayne's steely self-control to steer her mind away from the specific comments Rich had made. He couldn't have meant that they 'weren't anything at all', and when he called her 'crazy' he must have meant in an attractive, kooky sort of way, mustn't he? She would not think about it. He did not mean to be offensive. He was taken aback, that was all. Once he had time to think about her declaration, he'd find the courage to end the farce with Tash and be with her. She knew he would. He had to.

Because if he didn't, she would.

He had said he thought she needed help. He'd told her not to take his comment the wrong way, but what was the right way? Fury bubbled up inside Jayne's stomach. She felt it clash and mash with disappointment, humiliation and frustration. She feared that despair might snuff out her hope that they could get it together, her belief that they should get it together.

Jayne had spent most of the night and all morning poring over her treasure box. The contents of which were at this moment spread across her bedroom floor. She momentarily considered asking Tash into her room. She could show her Rich's notes and recommended reading. She could show her the champagne corks and the tube tickets. That would wipe the smirk off Tash's frankly gormless face. Jayne dismissed the idea. The box of treasures, although priceless to her, wouldn't be of much value in terms of evidence of her and Rich's affair. Tash could explain them away if she wanted to. Jayne needed a more foolproof reveal. Jayne's face was twisted with concentration, and she hadn't slept well the night before. She looked terrible. Tash jumped to her own conclusion.

'You heard about Jason, then?' guessed Tash.

'What?' snapped Jayne. She was finding it hard to stay convivial with this wretched girl.

'He had someone in his room last night,' Tash muttered, sympathetically.

'Quel surprise,' commented Jayne dryly.

Tash squeezed Jayne's arm. 'Sorry. You seem upset.'

'Not about him.'

'So do you fancy some snow?' offered Tash. She did not believe Jayne's denial, but was prepared to pretend she did to protect Jayne's dignity.

Jayne weighed up the situation. She could stay in her room all day, claiming that she was too tired to board. At least that way Rich would be able to find her if no, when he came to tell her he'd chosen her. On the other hand, it never did any harm spending time with Tash. Tash was preposterously trusting and transparent, and was keen to share as though she was a native Californian. Jayne gained great insight into their relationship as a result. She found out where they bought their groceries, where they drank coffee and which position was their s.e.xual preference. Information was power.

'I don't want to board, I'm too hung over,' said Jayne.