Standard Selections Part 46

"Not much--I say, Jack?"

"What?"

"It is the judgment day."

Jill broke up, so did I; we lay as still as we could. If it were the judgment day--"Jill!" said I.

"Oh, dear me!" sobbed Jill.

We were both crying by that time, and I don't feel ashamed to own up, either.

"If I'd known," said I, "that the day of judgment was coming on the twelfth of August, I wouldn't have been so mean about that jack-knife of yours with the notch in it."

"And I wouldn't have eaten your luncheon that day last winter when I got mad at you," said Jill.

"Nor we wouldn't have cheated mother about smoking, vacations," said I.

"I'd never have played with the Bailey boys out behind the barn," said Jill.

"I wonder where the comet went to?" said I.

"'Whether we shall be plunged into,'" quoted Jill, in a horrible whisper, from that dreadful newspaper, "'shall be plunged into a wild vortex of angry s.p.a.ce--or suffocated with noxious gases--or scorched to a helpless crisp--or blasted--'"

"When do you think they will come after us?" I interrupted Jill.

That very minute somebody came. We heard a step and then another, then a heavy bang. Jill howled out a little. I didn't, for I was thinking how the cellar door banged like that. Then came a voice, an awful hoa.r.s.e and trembling voice as ever you heard.

"George Zacharias!"

Then I knew it must be the judgment day and that the angel had me in court to answer him, for you couldn't expect an angel to call you Jack after you was dead.

"George Zacharias!" said the awful voice again. I didn't know what else to do, I was so frightened, so I just hollered out "Here!" as I do at school.

"Timothy!" came the voice once more.

Now Jill had a bright idea. Up he shouted, "Absent!" at the top of his lungs.

"George! Jack! Jill! where are you? Are you killed? Oh, wait a minute and I'll bring a light."

This did not sound so much like judgment day as it did like Aunt John. I began to feel better. So did Jill. I sat up. So did he. It wasn't a minute till the light came into sight, and something that looked like a cellar door, the cellar steps, and Aunt John's spotted wrapper, and Miss Togy in a night-gown, away behind as white as a ghost. Aunt John held the light above her head and looked down. I don't believe I shall ever see an angel that will make me feel any better to look at than Aunt John did that night.

"O you blessed boys!" said Aunt John--she was laughing and crying together. "To think that you should have fallen through the old chimney to the cellar floor and be sitting there alive in such a funny heap as that!"

And that was just what we had done. The old flooring (not very secure) had given away in the storm; and we'd gone down through two stories, where the chimney ought to have been, jam! into the cellar on the coal heap, and all as good as ever excepting the bedstead.

FOOTNOTE:

[66] From "Trot's Wedding Journey."

DE APPILE TREE[67]

JOEL CHANDLER HARRIS

Dat's a mighty quare tale, 'bout de appile tree In de pah'dise gyardin, whar Adam runned free, Whar de b.u.t.ter-flies drunk honey wid ole mammy bee.

Talk about yo good times, I bet you he had 'em--Adam-- Adam en Eve, an' de appile tree.

He woke one mawnin wid a pullin at he sleeve; He open his eye, an' dar was Eve-- He shook her han', wid a "Honey, don' grieve.

You's de only gal on earth for me An' dats de truf, believe."

Talk about yo good times, I'll bet you dey had 'em--Adam-- Adam en Eve, an' de appile tree.

Den Eve took a bite er de appile fruit En Adam he bit, en den dey scoot.

Dar's whar de n.i.g.g.ah leahn de quick cally hoot, Ben a runnin' ever since from somebody's boot.

En runned en hide behin' de fig tree--Adam-- Adam en Eve behin' de fig tree.

Dey had der frolics, en dey had dere flings, Den arter dat, de fun tuck wings, Honey's mighty sweet, but bees has stings An' dey came into de shadder dat de storm cloud brings.

Talk about yo hahd times, u-h-m uhm, I bet you dey had 'em--Adam-- Adam en Eve behin' de fig tree.

Kase outer de gyardin dey had fur tuh skin.

Ter fin' de crack whar Satan crept in Dey sarch fur and wide, dey sarch mighty well.

Eve, she knowed, but she 'fused fur ter tell.

Ole Satan's trail was all rubbed out 'Ceppen a track er two, whar he walked about.

Talk about troubles, I bet you dey had 'em--Adam-- Adam en Eve, en all dere kin.

Well, when dey got back de gate wuz shut.

An' dat wuz de pay, what Adam got.

In dat gyardin he went no moh.

De ober-seer gib him a shobel en a hoe, A mule, en a plow, en a swingle tree, Talk about yo hahd times, I bet you dey had 'em--Adam-- En all uh his chillen bofe slave en free.

En de chillen ob Adam, en de chillen's kin, Dey all got smeared wid de pitch ob sin.

Dey shut dere eyes, to de great here-atter, En flung sin aroun', wid a turrible splatter.

En cahooted wid Satan, en dat wat de matter-- An' troubles, well. I bet you dey had 'em--Adam-- De chillen ob Adam, what forgot ter pray, dey had 'em, And dey keep on a hadden 'em down tuh dis day.

But dat wa'n't de las' ob de appile tree, Kase she scatter her seeds bofe fur en free, And dat's whut de mattah wid you en me, I knows de feelin's what brought on de fall, Dat same ole appile, an' ole Satan's call, Lor' bless yo chile, I knows 'em all.

I'm kinder lop-sided en pigeon toed But jes' you watch me keep in de middle ob de road.

Kase de troubles I'se got is a mighty heavy load.

Talk about troubles, I got 'em en had 'em, Same as Adam.

An' don' yo see I mighty well know Dat I got 'em from Adam long ago, From Adam en Eve en de appile tree, When dey runned free In de pahdise gyardin Wid b.u.t.ter-flies en honey bee?

FOOTNOTE:

[67] By permission of D. Appleton & Co.