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Things had finally begun to wind down, and Gavin approached me from across the room. His gaze held mine until he was standing before me. With a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, he lifted his hand out to me. "Can I have this dance?"
Smiling up at him, I whispered a breathy, "Yes."
He led me to the dance floor, where we joined the other couples. He held me close, and I rested my head against his chest. I savored the feeling of our closeness.
I melted against him even more when I felt his fingertips skim over the skin of my exposed back. Tilting his head down closer, he whispered against my ear, "I think it's about time we stop running from this, don't you?"
I couldn't look at him. I only nuzzled into his chest a little closer. I buried my face in his neck and kissed him gently.
With the touch of my lips, he groaned and pulled me against him tighter.
"Running from what?" I asked.
I knew what he was talking about; I'm not dense. I just wanted to hear him say it out loud.
"From us, what we both feel. I don't want to stay away from you. I've tried to, but I just can't anymore." He leaned back, forcing me to look up at him. Bracing my face in his hands, he stared intently into my eyes. "I've pushed you away. I know this is all on me. I just don't want to keep you at a distance anymore. I have a mess going on in my life right now but, d.a.m.n it, I want you." He looked down at my lips as a grin pulled at the corner of his mouth. "I need you, baby."
I closed my eyes just before his lips touched mine. A whimper escaped me as his tongue brushed my lower lip. I let go of everything else and just concentrated on the feelings he invoked in me.
Gavin was my weakness, the one person I lost all the ability to control myself around.
We stood in the center of a dozen different couples, but it felt as if we were completely alone. It was as if everyone else had faded away, and this had become our moment.
The news I held was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him so badly, but then again, the fear of his reaction hit me. I had suffered a lifetime of rejection, and for one night I wanted to feel needed. I wanted to know what it felt like to have someone want me so badly in return.
So for tonight, I would tuck my little secret deep down and bask in the joy of Gavin's touch.
We stood in the living room of Kori's old house. Everything looked so different now. Gavin had made it masculine and rugged. The entire place smelled like him, and it made me smile. Yes, I was one of those girls who secretly sniffed the yummy man when he wasn't paying attention.
I watched as Gavin pulled two beers from the refrigerator and walked in my direction, holding one out. I took it from him, but only held it in my hands as I watched him lift his to his lips. The bobbing of his throat as he swallowed made my stomach flutter. But when he pulled the bottle away and trailed his tongue along his lower lip, catching the droplet of beer, I melted. It had been so long since I had felt his touch, and I was needy. I wanted his hands on me.
I sat my bottle down on the coffee table and slowly ran my hand over his chest, feeling it ripple beneath my fingers. Gavin was a fit man; he took pride in his appearance and it showed. It was hard not to become a wild cat when he was shirtless, because he was perfection.
Hooking my finger under the hem of his shirt, I began lifting it upward to expose the ab muscles that made my mouth water.
I bit down on my lower lip, holding back my whimper. I continued the path, lifting his shirt higher. He grabbed for it and lifted it up and over his head.
"d.a.m.n," I whispered before I could stop myself. He chuckled and reached out, hooking the straps of my dress with his fingers. Slowly he began to guide them over my shoulders as the dress slid over my body.
The material easily slid past my breast and waist and pooled at my feet. I stood before him only wearing my lacey panties and bra. My cheeks flushed and he tilted my chin upward, locking his gaze on mine. "You are so beautiful." I smiled and began working his belt buckle loose.
In no time at all, he was standing before me in only his boxers, while our eyes hungrily scanned over one another. Taking in every inch, the desire was so thick.
He crooked his finger and motioned for me to come closer, which I happily did. Trailing his fingertip over the swell of my breast, he then went lower.
I swallowed hard when it skimmed over my stomach, pausing at the top of my panties. Hooking his finger just inside the elastic band, he pulled outward just enough to slide his finger inside. My breath hitched, and I began breathing heavier with antic.i.p.ation.
I moaned just as his finger glided over my c.l.i.t and down through my needy center. As he thrust a finger into me, I rocked against his hand. Gavin brought his lips to mine, while he continued to pleasure me.
Adding a second finger, his movements increased while he flipped his thumb over my swollen c.l.i.t. It took no time at all for me to go off like a rocket, screaming out his name.
He quickly wrapped his hands around the back of my thighs and lifted me from the floor. I was still coming down from the o.r.g.a.s.m he had just given me when I felt the bed beneath my back. He lowered his body over mine, bringing his lips back to taste mine.
I heard a rustling noise to my right before he lowered his hand to the side of my head, holding a condom. For a split second, I debated about telling him he didn't need it. But that moment was definitely not the time to tell him: oh, by the way, I'm carrying your baby.
I watched as he tore it open with his teeth and began rolling it over his hardness.
The moment he entered me, I bit down on his shoulder and groaned. His growl matched mine as we began to move. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I hooked them over his a.s.s. His movements picked up and I met him thrust for thrust. I had missed this so much. Gavin was an amazing lover.
"Yes," I cried, as he rotated his hips, grinding against my most sensitive spot. I could fill the heat rising and the tingling sensation of my impending o.r.g.a.s.m. I was so close my legs began to tremble.
"That's it, let it go. Let me feel it," he whispered. "I'm so close, I wanna feel you first."
The moment I let go, he began to pump into me hard and fast, just before his body began to tremble beneath my fingers.
He moaned out a deep rumbling growl. Wrapping me in tighter, he lowered himself, holding me close. We lay together in silence, with only the sounds of our strained breathing.
We stayed in that position for a few minutes before he pulled back. Looking down at me, he whispered, "I'll be right back."
I watched as he walked to the bathroom. I curled onto my side and pulled the sheets tightly against my chest. I could still feel his touch, and it was comforting.
A few moments had pa.s.sed when I felt the bed dip behind me as he crawled in next to me. His hand sliding over my hip, he pulled me back against him. He wrapped me in his arms and buried his face against my neck.
"Will you stay the night with me?" he asked.
I nodded and relaxed back against his chest, listening to him breathe in and out, his breath fanning out over my shoulder.
I knew right then that I needed to tell him about the baby. I would let us both get some rest and, in the morning, I would let him in on our future. I wasn't sure how I'd tell him, but I would.
I couldn't wait until after seeing the doctor on Monday.
I just prayed that he wouldn't be upset. After everything he had gone through with Nicole and still was going through, I was just adding more. I should have already told him; the minute I found out he should have been told. He deserved to know.
Chapter Eight.
When I woke to find Gavin not in the bed next to me, I immediately felt lonely.
There was a note on the bedside table explaining that Bud needed his help and he had gone to the farm.
I guess my plan to tell him about the pregnancy would have to wait. Of course, the moment my feet hit the floor, the nauseated feeling set in. I was darting for the bathroom with my hand planted firmly over my lips.
There was nothing glamorous about morning sickness, I was left feeling like the living dead. All I wanted was a warm shower and my bed. Then it hit me; my car was still at Kori's parents' house.
My options were limited, but I needed a ride. I called Leann and, when she came to pick me up with a huge knowing smile on her face, I felt like I was on trial. She sat in the driver's seat with a huge smile on her face, watching me out of the corner of her eye.
"What the h.e.l.l are you grinning at?" I asked, and she laughed.
There I sat in her pa.s.senger seat, still wearing my dress from the wedding. My hair was piled on top of my head, and my makeup was smudged. I had made my best attempt to clean up, but really what was the point? It didn't take a genius to figure out what I had done last night.
"You got lucky last night," she sang out.
I just rolled my eyes and looked forward. I tried to hold back my smile, only to fail miserably.
"It's a good look for you. I like seeing you smile. If there is anyone who deserves a little good in her life, it's you. Getting some of Gavin does a body good, apparently."
I whipped my head around at her comment. Leann was always so reserved. Her cheeks were reddened as what she had just said sank in. Then she shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
She dropped me off at home, because I refused to go to Kori's parents' house still sporting my clothes from last night. My car was at their place, but they would just think I had too much to drink and got a ride home. We would just leave it at that. There really was no need to make them think any different.
Just as I was climbing out of the car, Leann hollered out, "Hey, what do you say we take the kids to the park later? I can pick you up, and then we can go get Rhett and give Gemma a little break."
"Yeah, that sounds good, maybe around two?" I replied. She nodded her head and smiled. "Great, I'll call Gemma and tell her to have his things ready."
"Hey, buddy, you ready to go have some fun with me?" I asked, as he lunged for me the moment I walked into the house.
Rhett was giggling as he squeezed my neck tightly. I sat him back down onto the floor and took a better look at him. He wore a cute little backpack with tractors all over it. The little dude loved tractors. Between Reed and Bud, Rhett was a cowboy in the making. He would break the hearts of many when he was old enough.
The older he got, the more he looked like Blake. Oh, and he was a charmer; he knew how to get his way with everyone.
"I packed some snacks, and there are some juice pouches in his bag too," Gemma said as she hugged me in greeting. "Oh, and just in case, I tossed in a change of clothes too. I'm gonna go run some errands and then meet Julie to go over some things for next week's events at the church." She then gave Rhett a hug. "You be a good boy for Aunt Maria, and granny will see you a little later."
I gathered him up and walked toward Leann's car. Just as I was about to put Rhett into the back seat, I heard his voice. A warm feeling filled my chest, and the smile that spread out over my face did not go unnoticed by Leann.
I turned with Rhett in my arms to find Gavin walking in my direction. His shirt was hugging his chest and arms that were soaked with obvious signs of a hard day's work. He looked real d.a.m.n good all hot and sweaty. There was definitely something good about a hardworking man, with his hair all tousled and his muscles bulging. The man did things that made my girly parts ache and honestly should be illegal.
He grinned, and I think I may have whimpered at the sight of him. When he was within a foot of me, he leaned forward and kissed my cheek, just catching the edge of my mouth.
"Where are you guys off to?" he asked, as he reached out and tickled Rhett's tummy. Rhett giggled and wiggled around in my arms. Readjusting him, I turned and placed him in the car seat. The little guy was growing so fast, and holding him for long periods of time had become a challenge.
Once I had him buckled in, I turned back to face Gavin and looked up into his gorgeous blues. "To the park. We thought it would be fun for the little ones."
Gavin looked back toward the barn and then quickly up to the house. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he turned back to me and placed his lips against mine. What was meant to be an innocent kiss quickly changed when I swept my tongue out and grazed his lips. He groaned and pulled my body in tighter against his.
Someone clearing her throat had us pulling away quickly and looking back. Leann sat in the car, smiling like the Cheshire cat, and I could only laugh. Gavin chuckled and gave me another quick kiss.
"Am I gonna see you later tonight?" he asked.
I bit my lower lip as the memories of last night overwhelmed me. I felt my cheeks flush and my stomach flutter. Then I remembered that there were some things we need to talk about, and the l.u.s.t quickly turned to nervousness.
I nodded my head. "Yeah, um, we need to talk about some things." He wrinkled his eyebrows and looked concerned. "Don't worry. I'll call you when we're done and we can make plans."
He agreed before pulling me in for a gentle hug. Kissing me on the forehead, he slowly backed away. He winked before turning toward the barn and walking off.
I stood there like a love-sick fool, admiring him. d.a.m.n him; those thighs and that a.s.s of his were hazardous to my hormones.
Taking in a deep breath, I walked around and got into the car.
Chapter Nine.
We had been at the park for over an hour. Rhett and Leann's daughter, Chloe were running around from one thing to the next, showing no signs of growing tired.
We had decided to take them to the kiddie park at the side of the daycare in town. It had smaller slides and swings, built more for toddlers.
Leann and I found a small patch of gra.s.s at the edge of the fence and tossed a blanket down. We were both stretched out, taking in the sun, as we watched the two children giggle and chase one another.
I began imagining what it would be like to bring my own child here-Gavin and I watching him or her play and laugh. On instinct, I brought my hand up and rested it over my stomach. A smile spread out over my face as I allowed myself to picture a little boy with dark hair and the bluest of blue eyes.
Tonight I would tell him; there was no backing out. I would just say it, and then we would see where to go from there.
I knew I was taking the chance that he might freak out. He had so many things going on in his life over the last year and a half that I feel horrible about adding even more to his long list. But he had to know, and I couldn't wait any longer to tell him.
Leann's voice broke through my daydream, and I turned toward her. "What?" I asked.
"I asked what was going on with you and Gavin. I know he said he didn't want a relationship. But from what I just saw between you two, I think he may have changed his mind." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down, and I laughed. "So did he finally wake up and see he had a chance at happiness?"
Smiling, I thought over everything she said. I debated whether I should tell her about the baby, but then I just felt bad. Kori already knew about it, but Gavin really should be the next person I tell. I don't want him to find out about it, knowing that everyone else knew before he did.
"He has had a s.h.i.tty run of luck. His ex has really made a mess of his life, and I understand where he is coming from. He is hesitant, and I don't blame him at all." I paused, looking out at the kids and thinking over everything between Gavin and me.
"He has never made promises to me. He didn't set out to use me, or anything like that. I mean he told me before our very first kiss that he couldn't offer me more. I took it all on, thinking I could handle it." Looking back over to meet Leann's gaze, I shrugged. "Turns out I couldn't. I was hooked after the first kiss, and I've just been waiting for him to want more."
"It kind of looked like the wait was over." She smiled.
I smiled in return. "G.o.d, I hope so, because it has been killing me. It was so hard to pretend daily that I didn't want more. I really just hope I'm not setting myself up for a train wreck, ya know."
"Yeah," she whispered. "Ben was a hard one to crack too. I had always thought he was so cute back in school, but he was one of those guys you admired from afar. If you got too close to those guys, you were sure to get crushed. It was hard to watch him with other girls."
She paused for just a moment before continuing. "When I moved away, I dated. There was never that spark, though, the one you long to feel. Yeah, I liked guys, but I never felt the undeniable attraction." A smile spread out over her lips, as if she were remembering something great.
"I came back to visit my grandma for a few weeks, and, um, well, I ran into Ben at the store. One thing led to another, and, well, let's just say I felt sparks, among other things." Her cheeks flushed, and I laughed.
"So here we are, married, with a daughter. I never thought I would have it, especially with Ben. He was always a ladies' man. I wouldn't change a thing about the way it all played out. We both had to go out in the world for a bit and experience life. We found our way back to one another, though. I found my forever when I least expected it, and you will too."