Souls' Rescue Part 15

"How are you dealing with it?" Lee-Jean asked.

Kelly hesitated. She hadn't thought about it much. Though none of the firefighters from her station house had been found alive, she had worked the first few days with a fervent hope of finding someone.

Now, two weeks later, she knew it wasn't going to happen, but she'd been so focused on the physical task, she didn't know how to answer Lee-Jean. "I don't think I am." Kelly dropped the bucket she held and made her way down the mountain of rubble. She heard someone behind her, but couldn't bring herself to look back. She had managed to work without so much as a thought about herself or her own feelings. Now, in a strange sense of shock, she felt them all coming to the surface.

She sat on the remains of a bench, put her head into her hands and wept.

Some time later, someone sat beside her and placed a towel in her hands. She used it to wipe her face, and then leaned back on the bench.

Lee-Jean handed her a bottle of water. Kelly took it without speaking and drank to soothe a thirst she hadn't realized was there.

"I brought you a sandwich, too." Lee-Jean held out a plastic dish of food. "You need to eat."

"Thanks." Kelly accepted it and took her time chewing. She washed the turkey sandwich down with the rest of her water and smiled when Lee-Jean handed her another bottle. "Always prepared?"

"Yep." Lee-Jean said.

"I really didn't expect to get all emotional like that."

"You had to let it out sometime."

"Not now. Not when there's so much work to be done."

"Kelly, there are hundreds of workers here. And thousands more waiting to help. It's okay if you need to take a break and compose yourself. You've suffered a great loss, and it's a normal, human reaction to feel like this."

"I don't think I can sit here and rest." Kelly looked at the pile of rubble and all the workers still diligently trying to clear it. "I've gotta help find them."

"I know you feel that way, but you can't do it without rest. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be any good to anyone." Lee-Jean placed a hand on her shoulder. "You still have family?"

"Yeah. My mom is at home. I try to call her when I can, but I get so busy."

"Just make sure you're taking care of yourself for her. She needs you."

"I know." Kelly closed her eyes. "Thanks, Lee-Jean."

"Anytime." She removed a pin from her pocket and attached it to Kelly's t-shirt. Kelly looked down to see a tiny figure in white, a golden halo over her head and her hands outstretched in prayer. "A guardian angel to watch over you."

"You really think I have one?"

Lee-Jean looked at the pile, then back at Kelly "We've got hundreds of them looking over us right now." She patted her on the shoulder and stood. "Get some rest?"

"I'll try. Thanks." Kelly watched as Lee-Jean returned to the pile. The back of her white helmet had the letters CISM written on it. Critical Incident Stress Management. Kelly realized now that Lee-Jean was a peer counselor and not just another worker on the pile.

She couldn't remember how she'd gotten through the rest of those endless hours of searching. They never found five of her friends and it was like someone had turned off a switch in her heart. She couldn't feel. She couldn't think. How could she explain how alone and inadequate she'd felt?

But Talia was there and listening to every word she said. She needed someone to know and telling Talia felt right. She stumbled through a description of what happened and how she'd felt, and when she was done, all she saw was concern and acceptance on Talia's face.

"That's amazing," Talia said as she wiped tears from her cheeks. "It must have been so hard for you."

"It was. And it will be for a long time, but the point is that I managed to get counseling. Not just that day, but ever since it happened." Kelly sighed. "At first I thought it would make me weak...not being able to handle the job. But I realized after a while that I was a normal person dealing with an abnormal situation. It wasn't any surprise my defense mechanisms were overloaded, you know?"

"I think it was that way for the whole country, but so much worse for you all who were actually there."

"Maybe. But it's not so hard today. And it won't be as hard tomorrow. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"That it's taken you years to deal with 9-11?"

"No." Kelly said. "That I've learned to understand my feelings. I wanted to share this with you because it's part of who I am. I grew up around the fire service, and I live and breathe it today. Maybe it's even more important to me now than it was when I first started ten years ago.

"Anyway, Ma and I did our best to get back to our lives after it was all over. But it was never really over.

"There were funerals to go to. It was hard for all of us, but Ma couldn't stand seeing me put on that dress uniform every few days.

"Ever since my dad's funeral, Ma has been weird about me continuing in the fire service. We moved out here because it's a slower pace, a smaller department, and I'm on the medic unit more than the engine. Ma likes that part." Kelly grinned. "But she's always behind me. No matter what."

"I'm glad you told me." Talia kissed her on the cheek.

Kelly rested her head against Talia's shoulder and sighed. "Me, too. Feels like I've got this weight lifted off my shoulders."

"Good." Talia ran her fingers through Kelly's hair. "Thanks for sharing it with me."

Tears filled Kelly's eyes and a knot that had formed long ago in her stomach seemed to ease. She couldn't reply because, for the first time in years, she felt safe.

Chapter Eighteen.

TALIA WASN'T SURE what a rehabilitation center would look like, but Drake Hospital didn't seem much different than the hospital she'd just left. The ambulance crew was nice to her on the way there, but she wished all the while that Kelly were there with her.

The double room she was a.s.signed had an empty bed, and she wondered briefly if she would have a roommate. Her mother would probably insist that she have a private room. Talia didn't look forward to that fight.

After the ambulance crew got her situated in the new bed, her nurse greeted her. He was tall and muscular with a movie-star smile and the tan to go with it. Jacob was going to be jealous.

"Hi there. I'm Brad, your nurse for today. How was the ride over?"

"Thankfully short." Talia said. She tried get comfortable in the new bed, but nothing eased the pain in her leg.

"Sore?"

"Yeah. I've been having sharp pains in my leg all morning. The moving around hasn't helped much."

"Dr. Lin prescribed some Demerol for you." Brad made a few notes on her chart. "You need anything else?"

"I'd love some water, please."

"Sure. Be right back." Brad left, and Talia noticed his little swagger when he walked. Yes, Jacob was going to enjoy visiting.

Her few belongings were in a bag on the bedside table. She dug to the bottom for her cell phone, surprised when it started ringing. She pressed the answer key the second she had it in her hand. "h.e.l.lo?"

"Hey baby," Kelly said. "How do you like the new place? Are you settled in?"

"Just got here." Talia looked around at the bare walls and the empty corkboard on the wall opposite her bed. "It's boring, tidy, and very, very white. Why don't you come over and add some color to it."

"Hey, are you making fun of my hair?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. Though you have to admit that it does brighten up a room."

"Hmm. I'm going to have to make you pay for that remark." Her voice was low and suggestive.

"I look forward to it." Talia couldn't believe they were flirting over the phone. n.o.body she'd ever dated had been so carefree about such things. For all she knew, Kelly could be at the firehouse or in a store. "Are you coming over today?"

"I'm just stepping foot inside the front door of the hospital. What's your room number?"

"Sure you don't want to hunt me down?" Talia laughed, then said, "112" and closed the cell phone. She waited for Kelly, grinning happily when she saw her walk through her door. "Smart a.s.s."

"Uh huh." Kelly crossed the room quickly and kissed her on the lips. Her hand lingered on the side of Talia's face.

Talia shivered with pleasure, delighted that Kelly felt comfortable enough to kiss her and touch her.

"I wanted to make sure you were settled in. I'm kind of surprised your mother didn't beat me to it though."

"She's gone to get lunch and said she'd come see me afterwards." Talia patted the bed. "Have a seat?"

"Love to." Kelly sat on the side of the bed near Talia's good leg. "You feeling okay? You look a bit pale."

"It hurts. A lot."

"Did you ask for some pain meds?"

"Got the cure right here," Brad announced as he entered the room. He had a syringe in one hand and a pitcher of ice water in the other. "Hey, Kelly."

"Hi, Brad." She patted Talia's arm. "At least now I know you'll be in good hands."

"You know each other?"

Kelly said, "We went to paramedic cla.s.s together."

"Yeah, small world in the medical field." Brad injected the medication into Talia's IV. "Won't be long before this takes effect and you'll probably feel sleepy."

"I'm getting used to that," Talia said. "But thanks."

"Okay. Enjoy your visit." Brad waved to them on his way out.

"He's a sweetheart." Kelly adjusted the blanket around Talia. "He'll take good care of you."

"Better care than you have?" Talia placed her hand over Kelly's. "Thanks for being here."

"Where else would I be?" Kelly's mouth covered Talia's in a kiss so sweet Talia felt like crying.

Her brain screamed that this was a dream, something she couldn't expect or hope for, but Kelly's hands, the touch of her lips, the sound of her voice, it was all very real. Talia hoped she wouldn't do something to screw it all up.

When they came up for air, Kelly said, "I can't stay long today."

"Can you come by tomorrow?"

"Sorry, gotta work. But I did bring you this." Kelly pulled a small calendar from her back pocket. "It's what we call a shift calendar. I'm on shift B, so any day you see a 'B' you know that I'm working. Unless it's Friday. I always have Friday off."

"That sounds confusing." Talia flipped through the pages and found where Kelly had marked her days off.

"I tried to make it easy for you." She kissed Talia again. "I should go before your mother arrives. Remember you can call me, even if I'm working. I might be on a job, but leave a message and I'll call back as soon as I can."

"You're so sweet." Talia cupped the side of Kelly's face, wishing she didn't have to leave. "Can't wait to see you again."

"Me either." Kelly turned her head and kissed Talia's palm, then pressed her lips to Talia's one last time before leaving the room.

Talia could still feel Kelly's kiss as she fell asleep.

It felt like minutes, rather than hours later when she woke up to find her mother seated beside the bed. Talia blinked a few times to let her vision focus and what she saw surprised her.

Colette Stoddard wore a black dress, high heel shoes, and a pearl necklace that Talia had only ever seen her wear to funerals and weddings.

"Hi Mother. Was your lunch good?"

"It was edible. This town lacks in good restaurants." Colette shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "I certainly hope they don't plan to put another person in here with you. You need your rest and privacy."

"If they do, I'm sure I'll be okay. It's not a big deal."

Colette brushed invisible lint from her dress. "It is to me. You need to be left alone after all you've been through."

Had she just heard a hitch in her mother's voice? "Can I ask why you're so dressed up? Did you meet someone for lunch?"

Colette wouldn't meet Talia's gaze. "Your father."

Talia felt her stomach clench. "I'm afraid to ask."

"I wanted him to talk some sense into you over this lawsuit." Colette straightened.

"He won't. Daddy agrees with me on the lawsuit. No one could have known that man would drive his truck into the building. I survived. That's why Kelly is so special-"

"Please don't speak of her."

"You have to learn to accept who I am. And Kelly is becoming a big part of my life."