Social Life Part 75

Yours truly,

FRANK P. BRECKENRIDGE.

TO MR. JAMES DENTON, Ottumwa, Ill.

The envelope to a letter of introduction should be addressed as follows:

MR. JAMES DENTON, Ottumwa, Ill.

Introducing MR. LOUIS ROSS.

Letters of introduction should not be sent indiscriminately, as no one has a right to force a possibly undesirable acquaintance upon a friend, while, at the same time, the individual asking such a favor should be thoroughly convinced that he is ent.i.tled to the privilege.

Letters of introduction, where they are between ladies, may be left by the caller, together with her card. She must not, however, ask to see the lady of the house, who is expected, shortly after the receipt of such a missive, to call in person, and should endeavor, during her stay, to include her in a portion of her social plans for the season; circ.u.mstances, of course, governing the extent to which these attentions should be carried.

A gentleman, in presenting a letter of introduction to a lady, may, if she should be at home, make his first call when sending in his letter and card, whereon should be designated his hotel or place of residence. If this should not be the case, she will answer by sending her card with her reception day engraved upon it, or, if that be too far distant, a note, stating when he may call, should be sent; it may also be expected that her husband, son or brother will call upon him and offer what civilities are at command. Even should neither card nor note be sent, it is still permitted him to call once more. His responsibility ceases here, and if no attention follows he may conclude his friend has overstepped the limits of a slight acquaintance in giving him the letter of introduction.

A Letter of Recommendation

to some position or appointment is very much the same as one of introduction. Its reception, however, does not necessitate social attentions. The form is very simple:

644 BROADWAY, NEW YORK, November 22, 189-.

DEAR MR. HILL:

Recognizing, as I do, that your position in commercial circles will give your influence great weight, I take it upon myself to introduce to you Mr. Philip Palmer, a graduate of one of the best business colleges in New York City, and a young man of integrity and capacity. Any recommendations which you can grant him will be looked upon as a favor by

Your friend,

MILTON JONES.

TO WILLIAM HILL, Elmira, N.Y.

A general letter of introduction, intended for the perusal of strangers, would read somewhat as follows:

_To whom it may concern_:

This is to certify that the bearer of this letter, Miss Marietta Hope, was graduated with high honors from Va.s.sar College, and has since taught in the schools of this city.

As her princ.i.p.al for a number of months, I can truthfully recommend her as capable of filling any position for which she may apply.

JAMES H. BLANCHARD, Princ.i.p.al of Livingston School, New York City.

Letters of Condolence

should be written very soon after the occurrence of the sorrowful event, and, while brief, should not be cold and formal; neither should they touch the opposite extreme, and, by dwelling with maddening iteration upon the fresh sorrow, harrow anew the stricken soul of the mourner. The occasion should never be seized upon as a text for a sermon on resignation, nor should frequent reference be made to various like bereavements suffered by the writer. These comparisons only wound, for "there is no sorrow like unto my sorrow," has ever been the cry of the stricken soul. And when friends have done their little all, each mourner still feels the truth of Lowell's lines:

"Condole if you will, I can bear it, 'Tis the well-meant alms of breath, Yet all of the preachings since Adam Cannot make Death other than Death."

Yet friends cannot deny themselves the privilege of a few loving words, and a letter on the loss of a beloved daughter might be as follows:

CAPE MAY, June 1, 189-.

MY DEAR MRS. SUTHERLAND:

I cannot resist my desire to write you a few words of love and sorrow; only a few, for my heart is full and words seem very weak. Thank G.o.d, my friend, for the nineteen beautiful years that ended that morning in May.

If you could but know how sweet and tender a recollection she has left enshrined in the hearts of her friends, and all the loving, gracious utterances that are offered to her memory! It is well with Alice in heaven; that it may be well with you on earth, in the days that are to come, is the prayer of

Your loving friend,

MARIE.

To a friend who has sustained a financial loss might be written:

TONAWANDA, N.Y., November 12, 189-.

MY DEAR BLAKE:

The first announcement that I had of your severe financial loss was through the morning paper. I can only express my sorrow at the event and my indignation over the falsity of the cashier in whom you placed so much confidence.

Hoping that you have employed the best of detective skill, and that you will succeed in recovering a portion, at least, of the sequestrated funds, I am,

Yours sincerely,

GEORGE G. PARSONS.

MR. FLETCHER BLAKE, President of the First National Bank, Aurora, Minn.

It must be remembered that letters of condolence, unlike those of congratulation, are not expected to receive an early answer, and, in case of very deep affliction, may remain seemingly unnoticed, save perhaps, after a time, by cards of thanks.

Letters of Congratulation

should be sent immediately upon the occurrence of the fortunate event that calls forth congratulatory wishes; they should be brief, gracefully worded and contain no mention of other matter. The occasions in life that call forth such missives are numerous: birthdays, engagements, marriages, anniversaries, business successes, etc., each, or all, should win some congratulatory notice. The formal congratulation is in set terms, usually written in the third person, and may be used between individuals but slightly acquainted; for example:

Mr. and Mrs. Stuart congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Fielding upon the successful conclusion of Mr. Harold Fielding's college course and express the pleasure with which they listened to the delivery of his eloquent oration on Commencement Day.

81 St. Caroline's Court, July 1, 189-.

This, in common with all congratulatory letters, should be replied to at once, and, wherever any missive is written in the third person, the reply must follow the same fashion. An appropriate answer for the above form would be:

Mr. and Mrs. Fielding unite in sending thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Stuart for kindly praise awarded their son Harold on the late important event in his life, and also for the exquisite flowers they sent to grace the occasion.

891 Michigan Avenue, July 2, 189-.

A friendly congratulation in the first person is less stately, as, for instance, one friend might congratulate another upon his marriage: