Social Life Part 7

There is much question as to whether the address should be engraved on a lady's card, some very exclusive circles prohibiting it entirely on a young lady's card and questioning its use for a married lady, suggesting that in case a young lady desires to give her address to any particular individual it may be easily pencilled on one of her cards for the occasion, and that married ladies have the privilege of leaving one of their husband's, with engraved address, in connection with their own. This custom, while it may seem an over-nicety to those outside the great centers of metropolitan life, will be appreciated by all those to whom the "ins and outs" of city life are familiar. It should be said that while engraving the address is still a mooted question, except for young ladies, each individual is at liberty to use her own judgment on the question.

Cards for Gentlemen.

The size and style of a gentleman's card has been already given, but a few words as to name and t.i.tles will be necessary here. Custom, with reference to the cards that a man must carry, is considerably less arbitrary than towards women in the same respect. He may use his initials or his full name, as it pleases him. He may inscribe himself "Mr. John Smith," or simply "John Smith," and be quite correct in so doing, though just now there is a little inclination in favor of the more formal "Mr.," an English custom we do well in copying.

Military, not militia, naval and judicial t.i.tles, may always be used.

Physicians and clergymen have the same privilege; honorary t.i.tles, however, should be avoided.

A private gentleman would have his card as: MR. HOWARD MASON, 24 Union Square. If he were a club man, the club name, providing it were a very fashionable one, would take the place of the address, as: MR. HOWARD MASON, Union League Club. For a military card: CAPTAIN ARTHUR COLEMAN, U.S.A. For a naval card: ADMIRAL PORTER, U.S.N. A medical man might use the following: GEORGE H. HARRISON, M.D.

Some eminent men go to extreme simplicity, as, for instance, "Mr.

Webster" being all that graced the cards of that celebrity.

It is hardly necessary to say that a business card should never be used as a visiting card. A gentleman carries his cards either in his pocket or in a small leather case sold for that purpose.

Cards for Receptions.

Cards used for receptions, lawn-tennis parties, afternoon teas, etc., in place of more formal invitations, have been fully described under "Invitations." One example will suffice here: MRS. LAWRENCE BARRETT, July 1st, at 4. P.M. The object of the entertainment being written in the corner of the engraved card.

Cards for receptions are a necessary convenience in this era of lengthy visiting lists. Without them there would be no possibility of leisure or of seeing one's friends at their own homes. The following is an example: MRS. EMMONS B. CHURCHILL, Thursdays. Or: Thursdays, Three o'clock to five, may be subst.i.tuted; the latter form, however, usually meaning that a simple afternoon tea will be served on the day mentioned.

A young lady never sends out a reception card in her own name alone, but her name is engraved upon her mother's card or that of her chaperon, thus: MRS. HAROLD GRAY; MISS GRAY, Wednesdays, Four o'clock to seven. Or, in case of a chaperon: MRS. GEORGE M. JANSEN; MISS ALICE LEVICTOIRE, Wednesdays, Three o'clock to five.

Foreign Phrases.

There are a certain number of French phrases that custom has declared shall take the place of that "pure English undefiled" whereof Spenser wrote. In a few cases these chance to be shorter, more euphonious, and more directly to the point than the corresponding English phrase. For instance, the word "chaperon," so important in its signification at the present, has no adequate English translation. Below is given an alphabetical list of those phrases in most frequent use, together with the abbreviations that ofttimes serve in place of the full phrase:

FRENCH PHRASES. ABBREVIATIONS. TRANSLATIONS.

_Bal masque_ A masquerade ball.

_Chaperon_ An older woman attending a girl in society.

_Costume de rigueur_ Costume to be full dress.

_Debut_ First appearance.

_Debutante_ A young girl making her first social appearance.

_En ville_ E.V. In town or city.

_Fete Champetre_ A rural or outdoor entertainment.

_Matinee_ A morning or daylight entertainment.

_Matinee musicale_ A daylight musical entertainment.

_Musicale_ Musical entertainment.

_Pour dire adieu_ P.D.A. To say farewell.

_Pour prendre conge_ P.P.C. To take leave.

_Protege_ One under protection.

_Repondez s'il vous plait_ R.S.V.P. Reply if you please.

_Soiree_ An evening party.

_Soiree dansante_ A dancing party.

_Soiree musicale_ A musical entertainment.

The term _en ville_, when used in the place of "city," in addressing a note that is to pa.s.s through the postman's hands, is a needless and annoying affectation, since it is hardly to be expected that a knowledge of the French language forms one of the qualifications for a letter-carrier's position, and if delay ensues in delivery, the writer, not the carrier, is to blame.

P.P.C. Cards.

In the event of leaving town for a long absence, P.P.C. cards are frequently sent out. This is especially convenient where the length of one's visiting list renders the personal making of farewell calls an impossibility. The cards are sent out upon the eve of departure, and all persons receiving them are expected, upon the arrival of the absentee, to return the courtesy by cards (which may also be sent by mail) and by invitations. The ordinary engraved visiting card is used, and the initials P.P.C. (an abbreviation of the French phrase "to take leave") are written in capitals in the lower left hand corner of the card. P.D.A. (to say farewell) is occasionally used, but is not in general favor. If the address should happen to be engraved in the lower left hand corner, P.P.C. may be written in the lower right hand corner, either way being permissible at any time. The large card inscribed jointly with the name of husband and wife is frequently used in this connection. P.P.C. cards are especially appropriate where there are no calls due. If possible, unpaid personal calls should be answered in person on the eve of departure.

Turning Down the Corners.

This custom is almost out of date, and in consequence of the various interpretations liable to be given to the act, its disuse is a satisfaction to all parties concerned. To briefly explain the custom, a card turned down at the corner, or across one end, signifies that the call was made in person, and is sometimes very convenient when one wishes it distinctly understood that the card was brought in person, not sent; while one folded through the center denotes that the call includes all members of the family. A man should not turn down the corners of his cards.

Minor interpretations, such as which end or which corner is to be turned down on different occasions, even the surviving adherents of the custom do not pretend to agree upon.

How to Leave Cards.

In leaving cards follow the fashion of those who have paid you the same courtesy. If a call has been made upon you, return it by a call, as to return a personal visit by the sending of a bit of pasteboard would partake of the nature of a slight. If cards only have been sent you by a servant, return cards in the same manner by messenger or servant; if they were sent by mail, return by mail. If the cards of any of the gentlemen of a house are left, always leave the cards of any gentleman of your family in return.

Of course first calls should be made and returned in person, the card-leaving formalities coming later on. This rule is departed from only by a few ladies whom age, health, social or literary duties will excuse from making personal calls. These frequently permit themselves to send out cards in place of a first call, either accompanying them with, or immediately following them by an invitation to some entertainment. This attention should receive the same notice as a first call; cards should be sent in return, together with an answer to the invitation, if it is of a nature to require it, and a personal call must be made thereafter, unless it was simply an afternoon tea, and an invitation sent in return speedily as possible.

A lady leaves a card for a lady only, a gentleman leaves cards for the host and hostess of a house. Some authorities a.s.sert that a man making the first call of ceremony should, in addition to the first-mentioned cards, if none of the family are at home, leave another folded down through the center for the other members of the family. The folding, however, is questionable taste and the requisite number of cards would be better left in their original state. Cards should be left for the daughters of a house; if there are sons, a lady may leave one of her husband's for them also.

Number of Cards to be Left.

After this first visit of ceremony it is only necessary to leave one card at any following call throughout the season. As a rule in country towns but one card is left at any call, unless it is at the first calls of a bride, when, if her husband's name is not engraved upon her card, she leaves one of his with her own.

A gentleman and lady calling together and finding the mistress of the house, only, at home, would leave but one card, that of the gentleman for the master of the house. Finding no one at home, they would leave three cards, one of hers and two of his. A lady calling under the same circ.u.mstances would leave one of her own cards and two of her husband's.

When one lady calls upon another, if the hostess be at home she does not send in her card (unless she is an entire stranger), nor does etiquette strictly enjoin her to leave it in the hall, unless it is upon her hostess' reception day, when, on account of the large number of visitors, it would be difficult to remember all. It then becomes a very desirable custom for a lady to leave a card, together with two of her husband's. Also when the servant is somewhat dull of comprehension as to the name it will be well to send in a card to prevent mistakes.

On reception days in very fashionable houses it is the custom to announce the guests by name as they enter the room, so that cards need not be sent in.