Snapdragon: Tiny Threads Part 7

"Jen!" Abbie yelled, smiling as she got up and walked around the desk to greet me. "What are you doing all the way over here? You look cute!"

I blushed and looked over at Royal from the corner of my eye. "I wanted to have lunch with my husband. You think you can spare him for a little while?"

Abbie gave me a sly smile and nodded. "Of course. I'm going to get out of here and let you guys enjoy. I'll be back around one or so." She gave me a small wink as she grabbed her purse and exited the trailer.

Royal cleared his throat and leaned against the desk.

"So, what'd you bring me to eat?" He reached for the bag to sneak a peek, but I pulled it back playfully.

"Let's go inside your office first." I smiled sweetly and turned toward the office, looking over my shoulder at him.

He seemed to like the direction things were going and chuckled from behind me. Once we were inside his small office, he pounced, pushing me against the desk and kissed me like he only had a day to live.

He grinded his hips into my belly, and I groaned. It felt so good, better than it had in forever. When he grabbed underneath my legs to lift me onto the desk, he growled when he realized what I was wearing under my skirt.

Nothing.

His kiss became more insistent, and his hands travelled from one end of me to the other. From my b.r.e.a.s.t.s to my hips and around to my a.s.s. I leaned back to give him a better view, feeling more confident and s.e.xy with every little moan that left his lips.

It was thrilling being in his office, spread out and knowing anyone could walk in at any time and catch us. It reminded me of the way things used to be when we'd take advantage of every second we could to be together-no matter the consequences.

"I want to see you," he said, his voice husky with need.

The roughness in his voice turned me on. I raised my leg, my eyes firmly on his and settled my foot on the edge of the desk. I lifted my skirt a few inches, just enough to give him a tease of what was underneath.

I felt invigorated by my brazen behavior. He was my husband for G.o.d's sake. Realizing how long it'd been since we'd been playful and flirty made me cringe. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was the job, the kids, and the G.o.d d.a.m.n house... it never ended. All I knew was that losing the connection was the most detrimental thing in my life. I never felt more whole than I did with Royal. We were more than a team-we were a force. An ent.i.ty I never imagined I'd have to fight for.

"Where are you hiding my wife, you little vixen," he teased.

His words were like a pitcher of ice cold water over my head. My smile was all but gone. I felt so silly, like an idiot. What was I trying to prove? It would never work. I wasn't cut out to seduce him into wanting me, and the saddest part was that I shouldn't have had to do it in the first place. If he didn't want me the way I was, pretending to be something different wouldn't help anything.

I started covering myself up, but I couldn't look at him. He reached out, grabbed my chin and leaned down so I would look at him. His eyes were full of regret, and that made me feel worse.

"Hey..." he said softly. "Don't do that. I was only playing with you. You're beautiful, Jenna."

I gave him a small smile, but we both knew the moment was over. He pulled me into his arms and then fell back in his chair taking me with him. His arms wrapped around me and he held me firmly in his lap and brushed his knuckles over my cheek.

I was humiliated. I had no business trying to play the temptress. In fact, I'd never been much of a flirt. I'd never had to. Royal had the charm, he'd spoiled me with his affection from day one, and I'd never had to work to keep it. It was always there, from the very beginning. Somewhere along the way, it disappeared.

He started playing with my hair, and I hummed. It always calmed me down, grounded me. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with him. It was so tender and genuine the way he'd pet my hair, running the strands through his fingers like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever touched.

He kissed me slowly and softly, and I knew it was an apology. It was bittersweet-he hadn't meant to, but he was sorry nonetheless. After kissing for a while, things were a little better, and we fell into a comfortable place again.

"We better eat," I said quietly. "I brought you Philly cheese steak, and it's probably cold."

He gave me a huge smile and my stomach leapt. It was his favorite, so at least that hadn't been ruined.

"I could smell it when we came in. Did you get it from Al's?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Is there anywhere else? Of course I did. Only the best for my man."

I jumped off his lap, and like the past twenty minutes never happened, things were back to a normal, steady place.

"Well, let's get you fed. I still have to pick up Benji from school, so..."

"Let's eat. You went to all this trouble, and it smells so good."

We ate, talking about the kids, and tried to make some plans for Laney's graduation. It seemed unreal that my baby girl was already going to high school. It just didn't seem possible. Soon, they'd all be grown and gone.

That terrified me.

When it was time to leave, an unreal ache in my chest emerged. Even with my neurotic blip over his vixen comment, the date had been amazing. Better than I could have hoped for. It just wasn't enough. Sadly, he was so busy that even if I'd suggested we prolong it, there was no way that was happening. All the little pieces of him were spread so thin. At least my attempt to steal a bit of it turned out okay.

He kissed me again when we stepped outside, and I could tell he was putting in a little extra effort for the guys standing around watching us. I didn't care one bit. It was flattering, and I needed a little flattery.

Maybe the day hadn't been a loss after all. There was always the evening to come.

Chapter 7.

"Jenna?" Tara snapped her fingers in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

I shook my head to clear the gaggle of thoughts and rolled my eyes. I felt stupid, and not for the first time that day. I'd been in a perpetual daydream all week, and it was just getting worse and worse.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Salad. Do you want one? I'm going to pick up lunch while I'm out."

"Out?" I asked stupidly.

"Uh, Jen. Trash bags and laundry soap. Second time I've said it. What the heck, girl? You're getting on my nerves. You've been weird all week. Is this about Royal?"

I had been weird-I felt weird. Everything was off balance and teetering on dysfunctional. Things were out of control, and that wasn't something I liked. At. All.

"Sure. Spicy chicken salad with ranch and a diet c.o.ke. Here, let me grab you some cash." I turned away quickly, ignoring the look she gave me, and grabbed my purse from behind the counter.

"Jenna..." she started, hands on her hips and eyebrow c.o.c.ked. "We're going to talk when I get back. We don't have any customers until after two, so we're talking. Know that."

I sighed, pulled the rubber band from my ponytail, and shook out my hair. "It's nothing. Really, Tara. I'm just tired and in a really bad mood. The girls had friends over and they kept me up. That's it."

She grabbed her purse, shoved the money I'd placed on the counter toward me, and pointed her finger in my face. "Not gonna happen. Besides, I have things I need to talk to you about, too. We'll have a nice long talk. Don't make me get Abbie involved."

"Fine."

The last thing I needed was Abbie to get on my a.s.s.

She left without another word, and I got back to work. I was off for the next two days, so I needed to get things straightened up before I left. I was usually good about cleaning up as I worked, but lately, I'd leave everything until the last minute. I hated when things were out of place and dirty, so if I could at least make my workplace Zen, I'd manage to deal with the rest of my life.

I wiped down the stations, swept, mopped and cleaned the back room. The other stylist that worked with us, Melissa, was just finishing up with a client, so I restocked supplies while she took her payment and walked her out.

When the lady left the salon, she flipped the sign to closed and flopped down in one of the comfy couches in the waiting area.

"How long do you think Tara will be? I'm starving."

I glanced at my watch. "She should be here any minute." I took a seat and smiled at her. "You look cute today. Got a hot date or something?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. "Not exactly. I'm going out with this guy I met online."

Melissa was young, and I always felt very protective of her. She was a little wild which was normal for a twenty-something year old girl, but sometimes she worried me.

"Melissa," I sighed, shaking my head.

She held up her hand and shook her head. "Don't. Don't say it, okay. We're meeting at a coffee place-totally safe. I'll be fine."

"Have you thought about meeting someone the normal way? I told you about that guy that works for Royal. He's about your age, good looking, works hard. He's nice. You deserve better than a booty call, Melissa."

"No offense, Jenna, but I'm not interested in a relationship to be honest. Everyone I know in a relationship is miserable."

I flinched. Even she could see what I was going through. As if I wasn't humiliated enough, now everyone knew how screwed up things were at home.

"I understand," I told her. "I'm just looking out for you."

"I know," she said, smiling. "I love you for it. I'll be careful, don't worry." She got up and patted the legs of her pants. "I'll be out in a sec. I need to clean up a bit."

Thankfully, moments later Tara walked in, arms full of food and a big smile on her face. "I'm back, ladies! Are you ready for food?"

I was ready, and I was grateful the awkward moment with Melissa was over. The stone in my gut felt heavy, but I knew with Tara's return also brought the dreaded talk she wanted to have.

"So, what's going on with you and hubby? Are you still fighting?" She pressed her thumb in her mouth, gnawing away at her cuticles the way she always did when she was nervous.

"Some improvements, but you know how he is. He's not exactly talkative. I'm just taking it day by day."

She was thoughtful for a moment, staring at me like she wanted to read my mind, and then went about dolling out the salad containers and silverware.

"Well. Don't give up, Jenna. It's a lack of communication and lots of tension. It's normal. I don't know how you've done it this long. Royal is a hard-headed pain in the a.s.s."

I nodded my agreement and sighed. "It used to be so easy. When did things get so d.a.m.n complicated?"

Melissa came back in the room, smiling. "Did you two start without me?"

I cleared a spot for her to sit next to me. "Nope. We were just getting started."

"So," Melissa said, grabbing her salad from the table in front of us. "Tell us about your day off. Did you guys have a good lunch date?"

I picked up my container, flipped it open, and started jabbing at the lettuce with the plastic fork. "We had a nice lunch, a little awkward, but we're out of practice I guess."

Tara clucked her tongue and shook her head, causing her blonde hair to sway over her shoulder.

"Jenna, honestly, I think you need to be blunt with him. I'm sorry, but Royal's never been real bright when it comes to communication. He expects and a.s.sumes things, and you have to take some of the blame. You baby him; you've let him get away with being a lazy a.s.s since day one. He does whatever he wants whenever he wants. You let him off too easy, so now that you're fed up, you expect him to just pull his head out of his a.s.s. You both have to work on this."

My feathers ruffled, and I was ready to lash out, but I knew she was only trying to help. What p.i.s.sed me off the most was that she was right. She was being honest, and truthfully, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.

I took a deep breath and set my salad down in my lap. "I know this, Tara. I went to the site to do just that-talk. I wanted to see if we could get some of the magic back, you know. I thought it'd be romantic to take him lunch and maybe have a little fun. It feels like there's no sparks between us anymore, and then other times I feel it like fire. We're never on the same page."

She pointed her fork at me and nodded. "See, right there. You're not sixteen anymore. He's not that hunky, hot boy with the heart-stopping smile. The magic might be gone, but there's so much love and memories between you two. I know you, Jenna. I know you'll never be happy without him, and swear to G.o.d, that man will not survive without you. Just learn to appreciate him for what he is."

"I hear that," Melissa said, taking a sip of her soda. "Sometimes it's the little stuff that means the most. That's love. He could've just up and bailed when things got tough, like Glenn did to Tara."

I stiffened and looked up to see Tara flinch. One thing Melissa wasn't, was tactful.

"I think heart-to-heart time is over. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can we drop it for now?"

I was done. Talking about it didn't change anything, and it only made me obsess over it even more. I could tell Tara was over it, too. Once Melissa dropped Glenn's name, the conversation was over.

It was nearly nine o'clock when I walked through the door that night. My house was a disaster area, including a sink full of dishes, clothes strewn all over, and my lazy husband snuggled up on the couch with my dirty-faced little boy.

I knew, in that moment, that no matter how hard it got, how annoying and impossible Royal became, I would do whatever I had to do to make our marriage work.

"We need to start thinking about getting Macy a car," I said over my shoulder as I pulled weeds.

It had been on my mind for a while. It just made sense. The girls were involved in so many activities at school that it was impossible to get them all where they needed to be.

"She doesn't need a car. She'll just get in trouble with it. I don't want her getting in an accident or something because she's distracted. We'll talk about it more when she goes away to school. She has us to get her around now."

I huffed and threw the cultivator in the dirt. "No, she has me to get her around. Melissa is leaving the salon to go back to school, and when she does, I won't be able to take off as often as I do now to drive them around. It would help out if she had a car."

"I said no. f.u.c.k," he grumbled, losing his footing on the ladder.

I jumped up to grab a hold of it so he wouldn't fall. The rain gutters he was fixing barely held him while I kept the ladder st.u.r.dy.

"Thanks," he grumbled.

"Are you okay?"

He didn't answer as he climbed down, rain gutter in hand, and stood back against the house. "Jenna, I think we can keep better track of them if she doesn't have her own car. Plus, they're expensive-maintenance, insurance, and gas. It'll be a pain in the a.s.s. Believe me."

I rolled my eyes. He was being an overprotective a.s.s.

"We can find her something small and reliable for next to nothing. Plus, my mom and dad wanted to pitch in on one for graduation. we should give it to her before school starts. She can drive the girls to school, and it would really help me out."