Smoke and Mirrors Part 16

"She knew you would be the first to be taken. How does it feel, knowing your lover's mother did nothing to stop your impending years of torture? You're barely forty. G.o.d knows what effects those experiments will let loose in a few years' time."

Sloane stormed over to the table and slammed his hands against the surface. "Shut up, or I'll make you shut up!"

Dex put his hand to Sloane's back, feeling his muscles tense under his fingers. "Don't listen to him. He's just trying to manipulate you."

"I'm simply presenting the facts," Shultzon a.s.sured them gently.

"Yeah, the ones which conveniently take the focus off you and what you did. If even half of what you're saying is true and my mother didn't say anything, there was a reason."

Shultzon shrugged. "I threatened to dismiss her, but surely the lives of all those children were worth more than a paycheck."

"Isn't it just so d.a.m.ned handy that you can trivialize her actions since she's not here to give her side of the story," Dex ground out. "And why is that? Right. Because you had her killed! She's not the villain here. You are."

"You still don't get it, do you, Dexter?"

"That you're out of your f.u.c.king mind? Yeah, I got the memo about that a while ago."

"Do you truly believe Therians and Humans will simply accept each other and move on? Humans believe Therians are a threat to them, and Therians believe Humans have had their day as the dominant species. It's a volcano waiting to erupt, and when it does, the casualties will be vast. Gina and John Daley were casualties of a war they had yet to understand, and you, my dear boy, are here to finish what they started."

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?"

Shultzon smiled wickedly. "Everything will be revealed in time."

"No." Dex shook his head and thrust a finger at Shultzon. "You're hiding something. I know it."

"Fate has placed you on this path, Dexter. Your parents' death set off a chain of events that is still in play, with you at its center. Nothing is as it seems, and everything is as it should be."

Dex lunged forward, only to have a TIN operative grab him, haul him off his feet, and drop him by the door near Sparks. Dex was livid. With a growl he pushed himself away from the mountainesque bear Therian.

"Get off me." He turned to Sparks. "I'm not done here."

Sparks grabbed his arm and dragged him outside the room. "Go home and get some rest. I need to verify some intel. This is as far as we can go today."

"f.u.c.k that. He knows way more than he's letting on." Dex paced the white hall outside the interrogation room. "f.u.c.k him and his cryptic messages. All he's given me is more questions, and that's what he wants, to jerk me around. He's f.u.c.king with us, and I'm going to put a stop to it." Dex made to move past her when two TIN operatives blocked his path. Were they f.u.c.king serious?

"Dex, go home," Sparks ordered. "I'll notify you the moment I have more information."

"Fine. Then I'm going to find that d.a.m.ned file, and I'm going to ask my dad."

"Absolutely not."

"Are you f.u.c.king kidding me? If anyone knows anything about where that file might be, it's Tony."

Sparks's expression turned hard, her voice clipped. "Make the necessary inquiries without alerting Sergeant Maddock. Find the file yourself. You are an agent after all, aren't you, Agent Daley? Or are you incapable of completing this task without running to daddy?"

Dex threw his arms up in frustration. "That's ridiculous. We have a lead, and you want me to go around my a.s.s to get to my elbow?"

Sparks arched an eyebrow at him. "I see you've been having dinner with Darla and Calvin Summers. I hear Darla's pecan pie is transcendent."

"What?"

"That expression. It's Southern. Calvin learned it from his mother."

Dex opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. When had his life become so f.u.c.king unbelievable? There was no point in arguing further. Sparks had made her decision, and the golems were planted firmly at the door. It was over. For today anyway.

THE SILENCE was deafening.

They were driven home by Sparks's operatives, and during the entire ride, neither Sloane nor Dex said a word, each of them lost in his own thoughts. When they got in, Sloane walked to the kitchen, intent on getting something to drink, but he never made it to the fridge. Shultzon's words rang in his head, and he stopped at the counter. He felt sick to his stomach, but he did his best to push away the nausea. For years he'd tried to bury his past, foolishly thinking he'd succeeded, believing he'd left it behind when he met Gabe. His life spiraled out of control after Gabe's death, but again he managed to wade through the grime and toxic pain. His life changed when he met Dex. He'd changed.

What if Gina Daley had tried to get through to his parents? Told them he was about to shift? Even if she had, there was no guarantee they would have accepted him. In fact he was certain his father would have been just as disgusted, but at least his mother might still be alive.

Then there was the facility. What if he and Ash could have been spared that h.e.l.l? Ash.... What if the timeline had been skewed and Arlo had lived?

"Sloane?"

Dex's soft voice made Sloane flinch, and he hated his reaction. He loved Dex. G.o.d, he loved him so much it scared him.

Swallowing hard, Sloane turned to face Dex, his heart hurting at the sight of those pale blue eyes. Sloane remembered her so clearly now. His mind was his worst enemy at times. He could recall Gina Daley as if he were looking at a picture of her. Dex was a spitting image. The same eyes, same pouting lips, smooth skin, and captivating smile. His dirty-blond hair was the same shade as Gina's. Sloane had felt safe with her. He'd trusted her even though he'd only known her for minutes. She'd been kind, gentle, and so beautiful. Dex was most certainly her son.

"Please talk to me."

Dex took a step forward, and Sloane took one back before he could stop himself. It was as if he'd punched Dex in the gut, and judging by his partner's expression, doing so would probably have hurt less. Sloane closed his eyes to gather his courage before he faced Dex again.

"I'm sorry, I think... I think maybe I need to not be here for a while."

"What are you talking about?"

The fear bubbled up inside him, twisting his insides and squeezing at his heart. He didn't want to hurt Dex. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. "She walked away, Dex. She knew what was going to happen to me, to us, and she walked away."

Dex shook his head, determination in his crystal-blue gaze. "I don't believe that."

"You don't know what happened."

"Neither do you," Dex replied heatedly. "I might not know what happened, but I knew my mother. So did my dad, and Tony. If you knew her like we did, you wouldn't say that s.h.i.t. You wouldn't believe the word of a psychopath."

"You don't know the h.e.l.l we lived through day after day in that facility. The pain, the torture. There were days I prayed I would die in that chair just so the hurt would stop." At times he'd felt less like a boy and more like a numb piece of flesh, every nerve ending exposed and exploited.

"And it was all at the hands of the man that's trying to come between us." Dex slowly approached and took Sloane's hand in his. "Babe, he's lied to you from the moment you met. He's the reason you ended up in that place. How can you believe him?"

"It doesn't matter who I believe. The fact is we don't know, and that's what's killing me. You said it yourself. What if your parents weren't who you believed them to be? You were scared to find out the truth, scared of what it might mean, and I understood that. And before you say anything, I stand by what I said. It doesn't change how much they loved you, but it changes things for me. I can't look at you and not think of her, of what she could have done, might have done but didn't. What I feel for you hasn't changed, you have to believe that, but I need time to wrap my head around everything."

"Sloane-"

"What about the anomalies?" The other bombsh.e.l.l Shultzon had dropped on him, the one that deep down inside scared him most of all. "What if I hurt you? Physically? What if that's the reason Dylan Reynolds killed his wife? Dylan Reynolds is my age. He's a First Gen. What if the same anomalies Shultzon said are in my blood are in his?"

"Then we'll work through it. You promised me no more running, Sloane," Dex murmured, and a deep sense of loss filled Sloane when he pulled his hand out of Dex's.

Why couldn't Dex understand? There was so much going on that it made Sloane's head spin. He worked on facts, figures, evidence. Going on hearsay, on cryptic messages and theories of conspiracies... it wasn't logical. His brain couldn't process this overload of half-truths.

"I'm not running," Sloane replied, heading into the bedroom to pack a bag.

"Just leaving."

Sloane didn't refute it. He pulled his duffel bag from the closet and turned around. He could see the exact moment Dex's heart shattered.

"Are you coming back?" Dex's eyes grew gla.s.sy, his voice shaky. "Because if you're not, I need to know-"

"I'm coming back. I just... I don't know when."

"How long?"

"I don't know. I need time to think about this objectively, and I can't do that here, with you. I'm going to stay with Ash for a while." He hadn't asked, but his best friend always had his back. Ash would understand.

Dex rolled up his sleeve, showing Sloane his healed scars, the scars Sloane had marked him with. "And this, what? This means s.h.i.t to you?"

"You know it doesn't," Sloane snapped. "Dex-"

"No. I've bled for you from the day we met. My heart's been ripped apart and pieced together more times than I can count, yet no matter how many times you've hurt me, I'm always here, waiting for you to come back to me, just to have you do it all over again. I thought this time would be different. Instead, at the first sign of trouble, you're bailing? Just like that?"

"d.a.m.n it, I'm not bailing. Will you just-" Sloane tried to reach out to him, but Dex pushed him away.

"You're f.u.c.king leaving! If that's not bailing, then what the h.e.l.l is it?"

"I killed my mother!" Sloane snapped. "Your parents' murder was f.u.c.ked-up, but it was carried out by criminals. My father killed himself because of me, because of what I became, because of what I did. I killed my mother, Dex. Do you have any idea the kind of guilt I carry, knowing she died by my claws? It's a stain on my soul. One I'll carry for the rest of my life. If your mother had said something, my parents might still be alive."

"I'm sorry about your mom. You know I am. I understand what you're saying. What I don't understand is what it has to do with us. Why you're leaving me because of something I had no control over, something none of us had any control over."

"Except for your mom." Sloane threw some clothes into his bag, along with his toiletry bag from the bathroom.

"We don't know that. We're going on the words of a f.u.c.king maniac! If she did have a choice, don't you think she would have done something?"

"I'm just asking for some time."

Dex threw his hands up. "And then what, Sloane? Face me and tell me the next time you look at me you won't keep wondering 'what-if?"

Sloane couldn't look at him. If he did, he might not have the courage to leave, and he had to. For both their sakes. For their future. "That won't happen."

"Really? Because I'm losing count of your broken promises."

That stung. "Now hold on a second-"

"No. I'm done." The blazing anger and heartache in Dex's blue eyes hurt, but the damage had been done. Dex gave a sniff and shook his head. "I'm not going to ask you to stay. I won't beg you to be with me. Go do whatever it is you gotta do, but one of these days, the pieces you leave behind will be so broken I won't be able to put them back together, and when that happens, I can't promise you I'll be here when you get back."

Sloane swallowed hard. If that happened, Sloane would have no one to blame but himself. There'd be nothing left of him. He deserved whatever h.e.l.l he found himself in. Dex was right about everything, but it didn't change how torn up inside Sloane was.

Despite his anger and heartache, Sloane worried about Dex. "Please, be safe out there."

"I can take care of myself. I was doing it way before you came along."

Sloane flinched at Dex's icy tone. "But it's different now. You know that."

"Yeah, well, not much I can do about it, huh? My mate's f.u.c.king off and leaving me."

"That's not fair," Sloane growled.

"You're walking away, leaving me with your mark burning me down to my bones, and then you tell me to be safe out there? Just go."

"Don't be like that."

Dex's eyebrows shot up. "Did you just say don't be like that?"

Sloane held his hands up. "Sorry."

"No, you're not f.u.c.king sorry. Don't be like that? You have no f.u.c.king idea what you do to me when you walk out that door! No f.u.c.king clue."

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." Jesus, he was just digging himself into a deeper hole.

Dex sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hand. "Just go before one of us says something we'll regret."

Sloane did as asked. He s.n.a.t.c.hed his bag off the bed and hurried downstairs, slamming the door on the way out. His Impala was parked across the street, giving him a perfect view of the house and Dex standing upstairs at the bedroom window, because Sloane wasn't feeling s.h.i.tty enough. He popped the trunk, threw his bag in, then slammed it shut before he got in his car and burned rubber driving away. Was what he was asking so unreasonable? It was a lot to take in. Was he just supposed to accept it and move on? He turned on the radio, forgetting it was tuned into that f.u.c.king Retro Radio. He turned it off, spewing every curse word he knew. At the red light, he sat there trying to calm down.

Dex had never been that p.i.s.sed at him. He was always so understanding. Had Sloane taken that for granted? Had he expected Dex to smile and agree? To swallow down his own pain and hurt, all for Sloane? Is that what he wanted?

"f.u.c.k! Motherf.u.c.king son of a b.i.t.c.h!" Sloane slammed his hand against the steering wheel several times before a car horn bellowed at him to move his a.s.s. He hit the accelerator, his tires screeching in protest as he took off. His heart was killing him, and his vision was blurred. What the f.u.c.k had he just done?

Ten minutes later, he stood outside Ash's apartment door feeling like a complete and utter disaster. He should have called Ash and explained what was going on rather than just show up, but his drive had only resulted in him growing more frustrated. Yet whatever his thoughts told him, his heart berated him, telling him he'd f.u.c.ked up royally. He'd done what he'd promised Dex he wouldn't do. Break his heart. Again. They were supposed to be able to get through these things together, but how could they? Sloane was at a loss.

The door opened, and his best friend appeared, his expression going from surprise to concern.

"What happened?"

"I might have messed up, Ash."

Ash stepped aside, allowing Sloane into the apartment. "How bad?"

Sloane ran his fingers through his hair. "As in 'can I sleep on your couch for a few nights' bad."

"s.h.i.t." Ash closed the door and walked with him into the living room. Sloane cursed under his breath when Cael waved at him from the couch where he was curled up with a fluffy blanket. Of course Cael would be here.

"Hi, Sloane," Cael greeted cheerfully.

"I'm sorry. I'm interrupting."

Sloane made to turn when Ash caught his arm.

"Don't be an a.s.s. Give me your jacket."

Sloane handed over his jacket. This was a bad idea.