Skinny Italian Part 1

Skinny Italian.

EAT IT AND ENJOY IT.

by Teresa Giudice.

1 - Salute!

The first thing people usually say to me when they find out I have four kids is that they could never tell from my body. I thank them, thinking this is a compliment, only to be quickly proven wrong. Follow-up questions immediately include: "What diet plan are you on?," "Do you live in the gym?," and my favorite, "What's the name of your plastic surgeon?"

If you watched the first season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you know I was brave (or maybe crazy) enough to allow Bravo to film me going through the process of getting my "bubbies" done. If you saw me in the leopard-print bikini, you are totally on my side on this one. I worried, I cried, I kvetched, I kept changing my mind . . . because this was the first surgery I'd ever had in my life.

I swear on Us magazine, I have never had lipo, a tummy tuck, a "mommy makeover," or even a C-section. All of my children were born the old-fashioned way: with lots of pushing, screaming, cursing, and, thank G.o.d, pain medication. I am a big fan of the epidural. Big knives near my body? Not so much.

I must exercise religiously then, right? Our lady of the heavens, no! I have four little ones to chase after; I barely have time for a manicure. We don't have a workout room in our house (unless you count the bedroom, which I do . . . ). I don't have a personal trainer or yoga master or whatever. I have no strict exercise regimen, although I'll admit, I like how I feel after I work out. But it's not my thing. I'd rather enjoy life with my kids than live in a gym.

And, let me a.s.sure you, I eat. I freakin' love food. Always have. Always will. Food is an integral part of my life and the lives of my family and friends. It's how we communicate, how we love, how we laugh. Food is our second language. It's lovingly prepared, shared, toasted, savored, slathered (you read that right), and occasionally, if you push my b.u.t.tons, thrown. Food is such a sensual pleasure. The thought of shoving your fingers into freshly made dough, of licking the dripping tomato sauce off the spoon . . . I'm making it sound like a giant aphrodisiac, and as I sit here, looking at the four beautiful kids Joe and I created, I'm thinking maybe it is.

Eating is definitely one of the greatest joys on earth, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. My mother, who never dieted a day in her life, used to shake her head and say, "Think of those poor women on the t.i.tanic who refused dessert!"

In other words: life is short; pa.s.s the cannoli.

I'll admit, before I was on TV, I never thought so much about my own body and the way I eat. You think you've spent your entire adolescence in front of the mirror, but until you're cornered at Costco with curious fans literally picking through your cart to see what you're buying, you have no idea. It's bizarre. Suddenly, everyone wants the skinny on my a.s.s.

And honestly, I don't blame them (although, if you see me, please keep your hands off my fresh vegetables-that kind of skieves me out). I like to know what my friends eat. I'm interested in Oprah's favorite foods. Actually, I like Gayle's picks better; girlfriend knows how to enjoy her food!

And everything about food and nutrition in this country has become a big confusing mess. Is Splenda safe? Nutrasweet? Olestra? Which one gives you the runs? Seriously, somebody tell me because I am not having that.

What's in one day is out the next. Remember when eggs were the enemy? Now, they're fine. For a while, you were supposed to eat lots of meat-was that the Atkins, Pritikin, or caveman diet?-then suddenly, meat wasn't okay. Now, half the "experts" say you need protein at every meal, and half say you don't need it ever. Milk was bad, then it was good, then it was even better because it was supposed to help you lose weight. Now I've heard it's going back on the bad list. Too bad, because my girls drink milk, milk, milk all day long, and there's no chance I'm stopping them. They love it! Me too.

Even the government and all those nutritional experts don't know what's what, since they had to change their little nutrition pyramid guide into some weird triangle thing that n.o.body understands.

Like you, I have more than one friend who's been on so many different food plans, she's completely forgotten how to eat. Jill pours salt over her food to make herself stop eating. I've actually found Leah picking brownie crust out of her trash can. And Heidi went to a no-carbs boot camp and went so crazy, I had to block her number from my cell phone until she promised to eat a piece of bread.

I'm not a nutritionist or food scientist or a fancy chef. I'm just like you: a regular girl with two eyes and a brain and enough common sense not to buy any of this c.r.a.p. I've always loved my body, and I've been eating the exact same way since the day I was born. I can tell you in two words why I can eat, eat, eat and still look fabulous: Italian food.

Both of my parents were born and raised in Italy. I was actually conceived there right before my parents moved to America in 1971. (My ma didn't even know she was pregnant. She just wondered why her clothes kept getting tighter.) My brother and I grew up in Paterson, New Jersey, but inside our house, it might as well have been Salerno. We ate real Italian food-not the b.a.s.t.a.r.dized fast-food version of it-every single day. My ma shopped at the farmer's market and the local Italian grocery to make sure she could get the same little envelopes of spices and secret ingredients from home. Real Italian food uses olive oil, not heavy cream. We grill and saute; we don't bread, dunk, and deep-fry. And we use fresh ingredients, not stuff floating in formaldehyde (I know canned foods don't really have formaldehyde in them, but all those preservatives and artificial flavorings are still like poison to your body).

You and I both know gorgeous Italian women who are skinny not because they eat healthy Italian food, but because they starve themselves. But that's the exception, not the rule. You can find neurotic people who obsess about food from any ethnicity. (Bethenny, honey, you really want me to order a steak and only eat three bites of it? Are you freakin' kidding me?) Need proof that Italian women who cook and eat up a storm of true Italian food can still have fabulous figures? Google Giada De Laurentiis, drool for a minute, and then come back to me.

I'm eighteen months old here with my daddy and mommy. How cute are they?

I want everyone to be able to enjoy la dolce vita. I'm going to teach you how to throw painful portion control (and even your measuring cups) out the window, to enjoy, entertain, and eat the most luscious foods on the planet, and to love-love-love your life and the body that comes with it.

Welcome to the Italian way of life. Salute!

What exactly do the Italians know about food and health? In a word: everything. We've had more than two thousand years of practice. The oldest surviving cookbook in the world, De Re Conquinaria, is from Italy. Apicius is believed to have written it in the first century a a.d., and you can bet your a.s.s it doesn't include wheatgra.s.s or tofu.

Italian food was named the favorite cuisine of 72 percent of the 500,000 Americans polled by Food & Wine magazine (and you know why). It's easy to forget, however, that it's some of the healthiest food in the world. Our national toast, salute, means "to your health." And we mean it. According to the CIA's World Factbook 2009, for all our fancy technology and advanced medicine and world-cla.s.s hospitals, the average life expectancy in America for a woman is eighty years. In Italy, it's eighty-three. Imagine adding three entire years to your life! And for eating bread and pasta? Gimme some of that!

Say My NameAll right, I'm sick of everyone misp.r.o.nouncing my last name. I've noticed that people from other cultures will talk with perfect American accents until they say their name, and then they sound like they just got off the boat. But not us Italians. We'll let you butcher our names to bits. No more!To be honest, I didn't actually realize I could do this, just reclaim the correct way to say my name, until my friend's family did. Her maiden name was Zavagno, and everyone said it like this: "Zah-VAG-no." For twenty years, they were the ZaVAGnos, until one day, the youngest son couldn't take it anymore and started making everyone say "Zuh-VON-yo" instead. Within a year, it stuck. It's not a snooty thing; it's a you-want-people-to-say-your-own-d.a.m.n-name-correctly thing.So, here we go. My last name is Giudice Giudice. You've probably heard it p.r.o.nounced "jew-dice" since I've been on TV, but that's wrong (Andy Cohen at Bravo, I'm looking at you!).Say "Judy Chay" really fast. Now put the emphasis on the first syllable and slow each syllable down a bit: "JU-dee-Chay." Now add your best Italian accent, and we're good! Giudice actually means "judge" in Italian, so I believe I have the power to make this change permanent. Court dismissed! Giudice actually means "judge" in Italian, so I believe I have the power to make this change permanent. Court dismissed!

Before we get into more of my Italian heritage, I want to get into yours. Italians are famous for their hospitality, and I want you to feel truly at home here, together in our little Italian book. No matter where your family is actually from, considering the Romans conquered pretty much the entire world, it's safe to say that you're Italian too, whether you like it or not. But you will love it, I promise!

Me on my first birthday. Can you imagine letting a baby hold a knife that big? Ah marone!

I've got a college degree in fashion, not food, but I think growing up in a 100 percent Italian household, speaking the language since I could talk, and eating my ma's cooking since I could walk, more than qualifies me to dish on the deliciousness of Italian cuisine. I make my own sauce (of course!), and also my own sausage, and even wine (not to sell or anything, just to always have what we like on our table). My husband and I opened a traditional Italian restaurant in Hillside, New Jersey: Giuseppe's Homestyle Pizzeria. My dad is there every day, helping plan the daily specials from the Old Country.

Me and my baby brother, Joey. How cute is he?

My husband and my in-laws are Italian too. My "juicy" husband, Giuseppe (most people call him Joe), was born in Italy. Both Joe's and my parents are from the same small town in Salerno, Sala Consilina, although they didn't become friends until they all moved to America in the 1970s. When he was three years old, Joe was actually in the hospital with his parents the day I was born, waiting to meet me; so I guess he's been chasing me since I came out of the womb.

We had a crush on each other all through our childhoods (yes, we even "played house"), although my mother always warned me against liking him because he was a "bad boy." He was a whole twelve years old at the time.

We've been married for ten years and are blessed with four beautiful children. Food is such a major part of our lives, and I'm so happy I now get to cook in the kitchen with my kids.

When we were growing up, both Joe and I had kitchen ch.o.r.es and had to be at the dinner table cleaned up and on time every night. Things were different back then: the man expected dinner on the table, kids quietly waiting in their seats for him, when he walked in the door. Yeah, I know there are tons of men-Joe included-who would love that to be the rule today, too. But the men used to come home at 5:30 every night. That's right, 5:30. When's the last time you or your man were home for dinner at that time? Joe comes home at a different time every night. I never know when to expect him. How am I supposed to have a hot dinner ready?

JUICY B BITS FROM FROM Joe JoeMy wife is a great cook. I don't know how she does it, constantly running around with four munchkins. Where she gets her energy from is beyond me, but Teresa is always hustling.My favorite meal that Teresa makes is her oven chicken and potatoes. And her steak and vegetable salad. She also has this amazing veal and peppers dish.But don't be fooled: my wife did not know how to cook when we got married. She learned everything from her mom over the phone. I have to say, she learned pretty quickly, and now she's great at it. She makes up her own recipes and we still have a big family dinner every Sunday at two o'clock.Trust me on this, Teresa is an amazing woman, but if she learned to cook great homemade Italian food when she was twenty-seven, you can start anytime, too!

I do make dinner for him and my family, of course, five nights a week (Friday is family restaurant night and Sat.u.r.day is date night), but I generally don't get started until he gets home. The beauty of Italian cooking, though, is that most dishes are so simple, especially if you have certain sauces and herbs around at all times, that they can be made pretty quickly. Fresh, quick, easy, and delicious? Sign me up, right?

I'll cook anywhere. My husband and I go over to Chris and Jacqueline Laurita's house a lot. The men play poker while we cook. Well, let's be honest, I cook and Jacqueline watches. I'm kidding (sort of). She makes appetizers and I'll make the main course. Open a bottle of wine, catch up on all our gossip, it's the best!

October 23, 1999- My Shakespeare in Lovethemed wedding. Don't you love the poet sleeves on my dress?

Jacqueline is allergic to seafood, which is fine since my husband has a tendency to let all of the crabs we catch at the Jersey Sh.o.r.e go when he's had too much to drink. (There's this little bushel with a top on it that sits in the water to keep the crabs alive and fresh, and what does Joe do? He flings the entire freakin' crate into the ocean so hard, the top falls off, and the whole bucket swims away. He had to make the trip of shame to the grocery store that night for store-bought crabs . . . and gelatos of apology. I'd forgive anyone who brings me Gelotti's, my favorite ice cream shop in Paterson. Well, almost anyone.) All right, I have a confession to make. It's been ten years since my first solo Italian meal. If you do the math, you'll quickly figure out I haven't been cooking since I was a kid. In fact, I didn't know how to cook at all until I got married. I helped in the kitchen, of course, but I wasn't allowed to touch anything important or mix things or taste and experiment, so mostly, like any kid, I did my ch.o.r.es in a trance. Italian mammas are famous for taking care of their families so well that their kids never want to leave. Most Italian boys go right from their ma's house to their wife's. Same with me and Joe. I was super excited to get married, but once it was all over and I was standing in the kitchen, preparing to make my first "married" meal, I panicked. I had no idea what to do. When you're dating, everything you make for your guy is good. But now I felt like the bar was raised a bit. Like he was going to compare whatever I cooked him to his mom's fabulous food.

I reached for the phone, called my own ma, and cried to her like a baby (in Italian, of course).

Playing with FireIt's hard for any woman to match up to the last woman in her man's life, especially if she was a super cook, and especially if she was an Italian mamma. Joe's mom is a great cook, but you understand, I had to be better.The way I eventually won Joe over was by using some reverse kitchen psychology. Instead of refusing to do things "the way his ma used to do it," I took every chance I got (innocently of course) to use Joe's secondhand recommendations. And almost every time, they led to some kind of explosion.I would be heating the olive oil and he'd say, "You have to add water to it. That's how my ma did it." I knew this wasn't right (you add water to the tomato sauce later, but not the hot oil), but I wanted him to see it with his own two eyes. I added the water to the saucepan and snap, crackle, pop, we were both covered in hot oil bubbles.It didn't take too many times of him having to wipe up his wise-a.s.s mess before he realized I was a pretty good cook all by myself.

She actually taught me how to cook over the phone. That should tell you how easy it is to make delicious Italian food. Me, I'm not going to wait until my girls get married to teach them how to cook. I'm starting now, even though they're tiny. They have their little jobs in the kitchen, and I just love to be around them and cook with them.

Since not everyone has a relative from the Amalfi coast to call in a cooking crisis, I decided to write this book to pa.s.s on some of our family's tips, tricks, and traditions. It's a love letter to my mamma. It's a lesson plan for my kids. And it's a "welcome to the family" for you. I'm far too young to be your mother, but I'll be your Italian best friend-the fiery, kind of crazy one, who's always good for a bottle of wine, a big dish of pasta, and a million laughs.

Some stereotypes are true: everyone loves an Italian girl. I'll teach you how to embrace your inner paesan, how to cook like Mamma, entertain like an angel, and how to stoke the fires in your kitchen, relationships, and even the bedroom.

Allora! Let's get started!

2 - The Cornerstones of Italian Cuisine (or Things Not Found at the Olive Garden) .

I'm sorry if this dashes your dreams, but you gotta know this: the Olive Garden does not serve Italian food. They serve American-Italian food; and there's a big, big difference-a difference you will see in your big, big b.u.t.t if you only eat that kind of food.

Every one of our families came to America from another country at some point in time, and brought with us our cultures, traditions, languages, and, of course, food. But when it's all thrown into that great big "melting pot," sometimes the ingredients get more than a little muddled.

I love-love-love my country, but we're not known for having the healthiest national foods. (G.o.d love us, but what other country serves deep-fried b.u.t.ter-on-a-stick?) The Americanization of Italian food has unfortunately given a lot of Italian food a bad rap for being unhealthy.

Ravioli is a perfect example. The Italians have been eating the small envelopes of pasta stuffed with herbs and meats for more than seven hundred years. It's a cheap, easy, and nutritious food supposedly invented by sailors when they stuffed bits of their leftover dinner into b.a.l.l.s of pasta to save it for later. Fast-forward to America and the invention of "toasted ravioli"-where a perfect ravioli is prepared, but then dipped in eggs, coated in bread crumbs, and thrown in a deep fryer full of freakin' vegetable oil like common French fries. Now you have 50 percent more calories and more than twice the fat. (I'm sorry, Andy Cohen at Bravo, I know you grew up in St. Louis where toasted ravioli was "invented," I know they even served it at your high school, but it's a big fat fake! It's not Italian food, and p.s., it's not even "toasted"!) And pizza?

Don't get me started. What began in the Mediterranean as a lovely, rustic flatbread topped with local vegetables, herbs, and eventually tomato sauces morphed in America into a giant, doughy, greasy, cheese-filled monster with entire other meals like cheeseburgers and barbecued chicken thrown on top. I'm not sayin' American (especially Chicago-style) pizza doesn't taste good. But it's a b.a.s.t.a.r.dized, belly-bulging version of what the Italians would eat.

Of course pizza and ravioli and pasta alfredo are all Italian words, so it's easy to think they are Italian foods. But, if you're in a typical American store or restaurant, they're probably as authentic Italian as the Dolce & cabbana handbags sold on the corner of Fifth Avenue.

No one likes a poser. So how can you tell the difference between true Italian cuisine and a knockoff? Here's a handy cheat sheet.

True Italian Food, or How to Spot a Knockoff REAL ITALIAN: Olive oil Olive oil CHEAP IMITATION: Vegetable oil Vegetable oil REAL ITALIAN: b.u.t.ter b.u.t.ter CHEAP IMITATION: Heavy cream Heavy cream REAL ITALIAN: Sauteed Sauteed CHEAP IMITATION: Deep-fried Deep-fried REAL ITALIAN: Pasta is a part of the dish Pasta is a part of the dish CHEAP IMITATION: Pasta is the entire plate Pasta is the entire plate REAL ITALIAN: Vegetable-based sauce Vegetable-based sauce CHEAP IMITATION: Creamy sauce Creamy sauce REAL ITALIAN: Lots of vegetables Lots of vegetables CHEAP IMITATION: Starch, cheese, and meat Starch, cheese, and meat REAL ITALIAN: Fresh Italian cheese Fresh Italian cheese CHEAP IMITATION: Processed cheese Processed cheese REAL ITALIAN: Sugar in dessert only Sugar in dessert only CHEAP IMITATION: Nondessert recipes that call for sugar Nondessert recipes that call for sugar REAL ITALIAN: Clear salad dressing Clear salad dressing CHEAP IMITATION: Solid salad dressing Solid salad dressing REAL ITALIAN: Thin, crispy bread Thin, crispy bread CHEAP IMITATION: Fat, doughy white bread Fat, doughy white bread JUICY B BITS FROM FROM Joe JoeIt's been estimated that 90 percent of the "Italian" restaurants in the United States are actually American-Italian and don't serve authentic Italian food at all (in my opinion, it's higher than that, but whatever). I can spot those places from the sidewalk. Here's the dead giveaways that you won't find in a true Italian restaurant: Red-and-white-checkered tableclothsEmpty bottles of Chianti used as candleholdersHuge baskets of white breadb.u.t.ter with the breadFake marble heads or other Roman-like ruins made from StyrofoamFake vines painted on the wallsAn indoor fountain Authentic Italian cooking is healthy because it includes sauteing with olive oil, not deep-frying in vegetable oil. It uses fresh ingredients, including lots of green vegetables. And carbs are a supporting player, not the star of the show.

Just looking at a plate will give you a good idea. An Italian meal will look fresh and healthy. There will be roughly the same amount of vegetables, meat, and pasta. The sauce will be proportionate to the pasta or meat, and it will be part of the meal, not a sloppy afterthought. If you find yourself faced with mountains of pasta drowning in a creamy sauce that is congealing because it's so fatty, with sad, soggy vegetables suffocating under the sauce and grease and oil spilling over the edges of the plate, then you've got yourself a faux and fatty Italian meal.

When in Rome . . .bruschetta = bruce-KET-ta Another giveaway is the bread. Italian bread is a dainty, savory appetizer, not a bottomless basket of b.u.t.ter-covered bread sticks as big as a baby's arm. The bread world is the opposite of the bedroom world: small is good; big is bad. Ignore those giant white loaves you see in the grocery store marked "Italian bread." Not healthy. Authentic Italian bread includes grissini, pencil-sized sticks of crispy breads, and bruschetta, small slices of bread grilled and then topped with garlic, extra-virgin olive oil, and usually fresh vegetables. (I'll teach you how to make these in Chapter 10!) Of course, when you cook with me, you're cooking the Old World way. But if you're out, and you're still not sure if you're being served an authentic Italian meal or an American-Italian heart-attack-on-a-plate, see how you feel at the end of your dinner. True Italian food makes you feel full and energetic and satisfied (maybe, if it's good stuff done right, even a little turned on . . .). Italians are hard workers. They eat to fuel up and then go back out into the fields. Faux Italian food makes you feel overly full, bloated, and a little mad at yourself for the indulgence. If you've ever had to secretly undo the top b.u.t.ton of your pants under the tablecloth, you know what I'm talking about. No one leaves my house clutching their belly and joking about how much they shouldn't have eaten!

I Heart Healthy Foods Of course, you should enjoy what you eat, but your body should benefit from it as well. Another reason authentic Italian food is not just good, but also good for you, is that it naturally includes many of the "superfoods" proven to reduce the risk of heart disease, cancer, high cholesterol, and even depression: olive oil, tomatoes, garlic, oregano, basil, parsley, spinach, and fresh fish. In fact, doctors and nutritionists recommend you eat these things every single week. Forget those giant, gaggy supplement pills, and get healthy by cooking the Italian way!

OLIVE OIL.

There's so much to say about this amazing oil that I'm setting aside the very next chapter to rave about it. In the meantime, know that olive oil is not only delicious, it also helps your heart, fights cancer, controls your blood sugar, lowers blood pressure, prevents bone loss, stops that little pooch of belly fat from forming (swear!), and can even make you a better lover (well, that last one's not been scientifically proven or anything, but it makes sense that if you're healthier and skinnier then you'd be better in bed, yes?).

From Italy, with LoveBefore we can begin dicing, sauteing, and preparing it, let's go over exactly what Italian food is (besides the obvious: the yummiest food on the planet). I'm sure you recognize most of the foods, but I just want to make sure you remember that Italy didn't just bring us spaghetti, but also polenta, prosciutto, and penne. It's easy to forget, when all the foods are grouped together at the grocery store, which ones we can get on our knees and thank Italy for. Here's a quick list.Italian-Italian FoodPasta (we'll cover this completely in Chapter 6)Pizza (thin crust, rustic)RavioliLasagnaSalamiProsciuttoOs...o...b..coPancettaMinestroneCiabattaPaninoFocacciaMozzarellaProvoloneParmesanAsiagoFontinaMascarponeGnocchiOrzoPolentaRisottoSimple Green SaladPanzanella SaladOil and Vinegar DressingOlive OilPestoMarinaraBiscottiGelatoGranitaPanna CottaCannoliTiramisuZabaglioneSan PellegrinoChiantiSambucaGrappaCappuccinoEspresso American-Italian Food American-Italian FoodCalzone (just looking at this triple-the-carbs-stuffed-with-cheese beast should tell you it was invented in America!)StromboliToasted RavioliMacaroni and Cheesem.u.f.falettaPanini (the b.u.t.tery, gooey, fattening kind)FrittataChicken/Veal Parmesa.n.a.lfredo SauceItalian Bread (big white loaves)Caesar SaladItalian and Creamy Italian DressingPizza, AmericanizedItalian Beef SandwichSpaghetti with Meatb.a.l.l.sParmesan Cheese in a Can TOMATOES.

Oprah's smokin'-hot doctor friend, Dr. Mehmet Oz, was one of the first physicians to bring the awesomeness of the tomato to light. In the best-selling book You: The Owner's Manual, he and his coauthor, Dr. Michael Roizen, write that the risk of getting certain kinds of cancer seriously decreases when people eat ten tablespoons or more of tomatoes or tomato paste every week. (This can supposedly cut your risk of breast cancer by 30 to 50 percent! Think pink and eat red!) Tomatoes are full of nutrients and antioxidants like lycopene that are more easily sucked up by the body if the tomato is cooked, and especially if they're eaten with a little olive oil. Delizioso!

GARLIC.

Did you know that a serving of garlic has more than twenty different nutrients and minerals in it, even calcium, pota.s.sium, and vitamin C? Or that garlic was used as an antibiotic before penicillin was invented? Or that if you cook it with parsley (another Italian superfood), it cuts down on garlic breath? (I didn't know those first two either, so don't feel bad.) Doctors have known for centuries that garlic has many health benefits, but they still aren't sure exactly what makes this smelly little vegetable so good for you. (Is it the selenium? The allicin? The sulphur? Or maybe just magic?) Studies have shown garlic cuts cancer rates, lowers blood pressure, and can possibly even protect the stomach lining (although be careful eating it raw . . . too much can burn your mouth or intestines, especially in little kids).

Garlic MythologyMost of us have heard about garlic's power to keep vampires away, and many people in Europe used to hang braids of garlic outside their doors for protection. Priests even used to pa.s.s garlic out in church to help keep evil spirits away. (Maybe that's what I need to pa.s.s out when we're filming The Real Housewives of New Jersey! A garlic a day keeps the you-know-what-who-sleeps-with-married-men away?) OREGANO.

Aside from tons of vitamins and nutrients, oregano also has more concentrated antioxidants than blueberries, has antibacterial properties that will help keep your entire system healthy (even protecting you from other germs on other foods), and actually counts as a dietary fiber.

Worried about all the crazy infections that are now resistant to antibiotics, like MRSA? Me too! (I'm healthy, but it's my four girls I worry about. I freakin' hate germs.) Well, here's some good news for Italian-food lovers: in 2008, scientists discovered that the oil from oregano actually kills the MRSA bacteria better than eighteen other antibiotics! Just another reason why home cooking with your own herbs can help your family's health. (Who the h.e.l.l knows what's in some of that packaged food? Not fresh, infection-kicking oregano oil, I promise you that!) BASIL.

Basil is jam-packed with vitamins and antioxidants, but it also has unique antibacterial qualities. The oil in basil can actually kill bacteria near it and in your body. Adding basil to your recipes (especially things that aren't cooked, like salads) can help protect you from the possibility of getting sick from the germs on other foods. (Kind of makes me want to stick a bottle of basil in my purse to sprinkle over raw foods when I'm in restaurants . . . ) Fiber-liciousWe all know you're supposed to eat a fiber-rich diet. And tons of products, even fruity kids' cereals, are now advertising how they're all full of whole grains. So it seems like whole grains are where we should get most of our fiber, right?I thought so, and so did a lot of my friends, until Caroline Manzo's poor daughter Lauren went on the Cereal Diet. I don't know if you've noticed, but those grains, if you eat too much of them, can scratch the h.e.l.l out of your insides (and the smell that's released in the process . . . d.a.m.n!).Depending on only whole grains for fiber can actually end up hurting your digestive system, as the little seeds can stick in tiny holes in your intestines and stuff.Looking for a softer, gentler source of fiber? Spinach and dark green salads are great, as well as crunchy vegetables like carrots, celery, and green beans. But the skins of softer veggies and fruits-the apple peel, the potato skin-are also super great. So your grandma was right: the "good stuff" really is in the peel!

PARSLEY.

I'm always a little sad when I see parsley sitting on the side of a plate in a restaurant as a garnish. Italian cooks know parsley not only adds great flavor to most dishes, but it also adds amazing health benefits. Can you believe parsley has three times as much vitamin C as an orange, and twice as much iron as spinach? Parsley also helps fight cancer, is full of antioxidants, makes for a healthier heart, and can prevent arthritis. So eat up! (Just don't eat the garnish in restaurants. My friends who were waitresses in college tell me those aren't always washed so well.) SPINACH.

Spinach is another wonder food that Italian cooks use a lot. It's a great source of iron, beta-carotene, vitamins A, C, E, and K, and calcium. Spinach has lots of fiber to help keep your system running smoothly, and doctors believe it also helps fight against cancer, especially lung and breast cancer. The antioxidants in spinach (there are more than thirteen different kinds) have also been shown to help your body fight stomach, ovarian, prostate, and skin cancer.

Catherine de Medicis, the sixteenth-century queen of France, was actually born in Florence, Italy. Spinach was her favorite vegetable, and she took it with her to France and made the cooks place almost every meal on a bed of spinach. To honor her hometown, she called every dish with spinach a la florentine. So next time you see "Florentine" on a menu, you'll know that the dish has lots of healthy spinach and you can toast our great Italian/French queen.

FRESH FISH.

Italy is a long, skinny country (even its shape is s.e.xy and skinny!) that touches the sea on more than 85 percent of its borders. That makes more than 4,700 miles of coastline and lots of opportunity to fish. Fresh fish has been a main component of the Italian diet for thousands of years, everything from swordfish to clams to anchovies. Fish has lots of nutrients and protein, but very few calories and fat. Doctors (like our friend Dr. Oz) believe that the oils in fish can not only help your heart, but also make you smarter. Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen also suggest that fish oil can also reduce your wrinkles, improve your eyesight, and even help with postpartum depression.

Of course, you want to start with the freshest fish possible. At the market, make sure to look the fish in the eye. It should stare back at you. If its eyes are cloudy, it's no good. The fleshy side of the fish should bounce back quickly when you press on it with your finger. And it should never smell fishy. (Really, should anything? I think not.) A Feast for the Eyes Authentic Italian food is a lot like an Italian woman: it's beautiful, it has great proportions, it's s.e.xy, vibrant, and colorful, and it smells wonderful. Both Italian food and a good Italian woman will fill the entire house with love.

3 - Blessed Virgin: Olive Oil .

I love-love-love my skinny jeans. And I know you do too. If I can teach you nothing else in this entire book except the insane importance of olive oil, you will be on your way to a healthier body and to getting in (or staying in) your skin-tight, a.s.s-magic jeans forever. Yes, olive oil is that big of a miracle.

I'm not a doctor, but you can ask any one of them, and they'll tell you about how adding olive oil to your diet helps keep your heart healthy, lowers cholesterol, helps fight cancer, keeps your brain and hormones working, and can help control your weight. Skinny Italian anyone? You need to use olive oil in your diet. Every single freakin' day. If you can do nothing else, at least do this. Even if you can't manage the Mediterranean lifestyle in any other way, even if you can't live without a daily helping of fried chicken and chocolate cupcakes, if you use olive oil whenever possible in your cooking and baking, your body will reap the benefits. (But you do know that no matter what anyone tells you or sells you, if you eat fried chicken and cupcakes every single day, you might as well use your skinny jeans as a scarf . . . ) Growing up, we used olive oil for everything, and I still do. It's so delicious, I don't think I could live without it! Homer (the Greek poet, not the Simpson dad) called it "liquid gold." But supposedly only half of the households in America have a bottle of olive oil in their kitchen. Well, together, we're going to change that, right here, right now. I know it's easy for me to say "just eat olive oil" because I've been eating it my whole life, but I'm also fabulous, and I want you to be fabulous, too. And olive oil, my friend, is one of the keys.

Fear of Fat The word fat has become such a bad word in our culture that no matter what doctors and nutritionists say about adding a small amount (like 2 tablespoons a day) of healthy fat to your diet, I don't think most people do. Fat just seems like the enemy. And it's so confusing to figure out which fats are good and which are bad that it's easier to just try and avoid them all. I get that. I never heard about trans fats when I was a kid, did you? And all of a sudden, everything is "trans fat free." What the h.e.l.l was it when I was ten, trans-fatastic?

My girlfriend Millie was over for lunch the other day, and I made us some salads. She freaked out when I poured olive oil on my lettuce because I was "eating pure fat." (I used salt and pepper and a little vinegar too, of course.) She's on this crazy weight-loss plan, so she actually had her own salad dressing in her purse. It was this calorie-free, fat-free c.r.a.p. Seriously, it tasted like c.r.a.p. I told her this, of course, but she said it didn't bother her because it was healthy. How's it healthy? I asked. She said because it didn't have any calories or anything, so it "didn't count."

Here's my question to her: how can something be nothing?

How could she actually be eating something-a bright orange liquid pretending to be salad dressing-and claim that it's nothing? It's not air. It's something going into her body. And best I can figure, since it's not a recognizable "food," like something you could find in someone's garden, and has no calories, it's nothing but chemicals. Even though it says no calories and no fat, useless chemicals cannot be helping your body.

Even though we'll eat c.r.a.ppy-tasting chemicals we can't even p.r.o.nounce to try and avoid fat, fat is not a flat-out bad thing. Your body needs fat, not just to cushion hard places and drive the boys crazy, but to run properly. Every single cell in your body needs fat to stay together. Your nerves need fat to fire off their little messages. Fat protects your internal organs. And your big, fat brain is 60 percent fat.

You're born with fat, yes, but your whole life, your body needs to keep making new cells to replace old ones, so you need to keep giving it fat. The trick is to give it healthy fats. And olive oil is the healthiest, purest oil on the planet. You can live skinny-yes, you can fit into those skinny jeans!-and still enjoy fat. Trust me on that.

Comparing Cooking Oils: Chemical c.o.c.ktail vs. Fruit Juice Even though they're not all made from vegetables, in cooking, "vegetable oil" generically refers to any oil you can eat or safely cook with that was somehow derived from a plant. So while the label might say "sunflower" or "canola" or "corn," the recipe will just say "vegetable oil" or "cooking oil." All of these oils are processed to the heavens, and don't have any noticeable taste, so you can interchange them in any recipe.

Olive oil is different, though. First of all, olives are a fruit. They are pressed to squeeze out their juices, so olive oil is a fruit juice, or fruit oil, really. If you buy the right stuff (and don't worry, I'll help you), olive oil is nothing but pure juice from the olive. The lack of processing is one of the reasons olive oil is so healthy: it gets to keep all of its healthy components, like antioxidants.

What's a Canola?Canola oil is often advertised as being as good as, or even healthier than, olive oil, but I'm not buying it (seriously, I'm not buying it). Olive oil is cleanly pressed. Canola oil, like all the other "vegetable" oils, is chemically processed to h.e.l.l and back.But my biggest question is: what's a canola? I never heard of a canola vegetable. Turns out that's because there isn't one. It's a freakin' made-up word!Canola is, no joke, the combination of the words Canada and oil. Great, but what the h.e.l.l is Canada oil? In the 1960s, looking for a cheap way to grow and process cooking oil, Canadian scientists messed around with the rapeseed plant (which is poisonous to just about every living creature) to try and get it to grow without all its poisonous acids. It worked, sort of, and they got a rapeseed plant with "low acid." They figured out that no one in America would want to buy "rape oil" (even though that's what they call it in Europe), so they decided to make up a name for it.My friend Jodie didn't believe me when I told her canola wasn't a real plant, so she called the 800 number on a bottle of canola oil that will remain nameless. The customer service agent told her that canola was a pretty yellow flower (that's what rapeseed is). Jodie's feisty like me, and asked why she'd never seen or heard of a canola plant before, and the lady told her that you could "only find them in Canada" because of the "special soil" up there. Hilarious (and untrue; they grow it in America, too).Here's what I know: the rapeseed plant and the canola plant have the same scientific name, Bra.s.sica napus. "Canola" is just the nicer new nickname for an unpleasant-sounding plant. Hopefully there's not enough poison in rapeseed/canola anymore to hurt humans, but since it's a new invention, I'm going to wait this one out. I'll stick to the juice from real fruit that's been used for thousands of years, thank you very much.P.S. In Italian, cavolo means "c.r.a.p." Interesting, no?

The other oils, though, aren't as lucky. Because they don't come from a juicy fruit in the first place, getting oil out of them isn't as easy as simple squeezing. Vegetable oils go through a bunch of processes that include adding chemicals to remove the color, the odor, and the taste. Lots of crazy chemicals. And in that process, the original plant is stripped of almost all of its nutritional goodness.

No matter what health benefits they are claiming on their packaging, no other oil is as pure or as healthy as olive oil. See an oil that's labeled "cholesterol free"? That's nice, but all vegetable oils are cholesterol free. See another oil labeled "light"? They must be referring to the color, because every single oil has the same 120 calories and 14 grams of fat per tablespoon, even olive oil. The big difference is olive oil is pure fruit full of nutrition and healthy fat your body needs, and vegetable oils are unhealthy, chemically treated nonsense.

Teresa'sT I PYou can throw out your bottle of vegetable oil (please!), but many packaged foods have vegetable oils hiding in them. To avoid those foods, look for the words hydrogenated hydrogenated or or partially partially hydrogenated hydrogenated on the list of ingredients (the nearer to the top of the list, the more of it there is in the food). You'll be surprised how much stuff-especially kids' food!-is chock-full of bad oils. on the list of ingredients (the nearer to the top of the list, the more of it there is in the food). You'll be surprised how much stuff-especially kids' food!-is chock-full of bad oils.I would rather my girls ate a huge bowl of ice cream (a nice, natural one with a few pure ingredients) than a "100-calorie" snack cake stuffed with cream made from the juices of who knows what.The best way to keep the gunk out of your family's diet is to make as much of the food you eat yourself as you can.

Good Taste I've heard many people complain about the strong taste of olive oil. First of all, be serious, olive oil is hardly the least tasty thing you've ever put in your mouth. But I guess compared to other oils it can seem intense, because other oils are processed to h.e.l.l on purpose so they don't taste like anything. The best olive oil is only squeezed, and only one time, so it does keep some of the olive's original flavor. But that's a good thing!

I get it that something like anchovies is an acquired taste, but you can find an olive oil that suits you right now, no problem, because olive oil isn't just one taste. It's not like a banana that pretty much tastes the same no matter where you get it. Olive oil is more like wine; there are tons of different tastes because there are so many different kinds of olives (more than a thousand varieties), and so many different things that go into making it: the taste of the olive, where the olive is grown, how it's harvested, how it's processed, the time of year, how good the maker is . . . you get the picture. With wine, there are some that you might think are too strong, and some you just love. Same with olive oil. Some taste fruity, some taste b.u.t.tery, some taste spicy. There are endless options, and there's no excuse for not finding one you like and using it!

While we're talking about taste, just like wines and grapes, the fresher the olive, the better the olive oil. I'll tell you how to find the best olive oil, but if you ever run across some that smells or tastes disgusting, you've got yourself some bad oil. There are lots of ways olive oil can taste, but it should never taste musty, rancid, like wood, like burnt caramel, like dirt, like nail polish remover, like stale milk, and funnily enough, like wine.

Remember, olive oil is used with foods, and not just tossed down like a shot. But the tastes you can expect from good olive oils are gra.s.sy, like a vegetable taste; nutty; citrusy like an orange or lemon; floral; spicy; b.u.t.tery; even bitter is OK-but bitter like a grapefruit, not like a rotten peanut.

A Necessary Expense I think another reason people aren't using olive oil as much as they should is because of the higher price. A big old bottle of vegetable oil is two dollars, but a smaller bottle of olive oil is anywhere from five to twenty dollars. You have to remember, though, that you use vegetable oil by the cupful in recipes, and you'll usually only use olive oil in tablespoons and teaspoons. A small bottle of olive oil will last you much longer than a bottle of vegetable oil, so it's really not that much more expensive. And I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than a triple bypa.s.s, so think of it as an investment in your health.

One way to save money on your olive oil purchases is to buy two different qualities. When you use it as a condiment, you want a really good-quality extra virgin since the olive oil is the most important flavor. But for cooking, you'll be using the olive oil with other strong flavors like meats and vegetables, so you can use a less-expensive extra virgin olive oil. Keep the expensive oil in a fancy bottle on your counter (out of direct sunlight), and put the less-expensive bottle away in the pantry for cooking.