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"Oh, I don't want her to be good to me."
"Keziah Moon hasn't deserted you, of course?"
"Oh, Keziah--she was moped to death, poor old woman--I found her a nuisance. And then those babies of Rose's were so irresistible. I thought she'd better go. As Rose's head-nurse, I believe she is in her element."
"Is Rose happy with her draper?"
"I don't know--I suppose so."
"You don't see much of her?"
"Not much."
"And Mary?"
"I haven't seen her for months. Her husband and I don't hit it off, somehow."
"Deb, how much have you to live on?"
"That's my business, sir."
"Not the business of a doting G.o.dfather--in the absence of nearer male relatives?"
"No. His business is only to see that I learn the catechism and present myself to be confirmed; and I've done both."
"That all?"
"Except to let his doting G.o.dchild take care of him when he is ill.
Now--don't talk any more."
He was too exhausted to do so. And while he lay feebly fighting for breath, the trained nurse came in and took command.
In the evening that functionary gave a professional opinion.
"He is worried about something," she said to Deb, "and it is very bad for him. Do you know what it is?"
"Not in the least," said Deb promptly. "I have not been seeing him for years, I am sorry to say, and have not the slightest knowledge of his affairs."
But next day she seemed to get an inkling of what the worry was. Mr Th.o.r.n.ycroft, when they were alone together, begged her to tell him if she had any money difficulties--debts, she supposed--and to be frank with him for old times' and her father's sake.
"What! are you bothering your mind about that?" she gently scolded him.
"I a.s.sure you I am all right. I haven't any difficulties--or hardly any--not now. I have no rent, you see."
"They don't charge you anything where you board?" "No. Redford never has charged folks for board. Seriously," she hastened to add, in earnest tones, "I have all I want. And if I try presently to earn more, it will be because I think everybody ought to earn his living or hers.
You earned yours. I despise people who just batten on the earnings of others, and never do a hand's turn for themselves."
"Batten!" he murmured ironically, with a troubled smile. "You look as if you had been battening, don't you? Debbie, I'm a business man, and I know you can't get behindhand in money matters and pull up again just when you want to; you can't get straight merely by antic.i.p.ating income, when there's nothing extra coming in. Tell me, if you don't mind, how you managed?" She flushed, and her eyes dropped; then she faced him honestly.
"I will tell you," she declared. "I've wanted to confess it, though I'm horribly ashamed to--and I'm afraid you'll think I did not value it. I did indeed--I hated to part with it; but I was so hard up, and I didn't know which way to turn, or what else to do--"
"And never came to me!"
"Well, I did--in a way. I--I sold your pearls."
"That's right, Debbie. That's a load off my mind. It is the best thing you could have done with them."
"No, indeed! I have regretted it ever since."
"How much did they give you?" "A tremendous lot--three hundred and fifty guineas."
"The swindlers! They were worth two thousand."
"What!" She was thunderstruck. "You gave me a necklace worth two thousand guineas?"
"I only wish you'd let me give you a score or two at the same price, on condition that you sold them for three-fifty whenever you needed a little cash."
She was quite upset by this remark, and what had given rise to it.
Impulsively--too impulsively, considering how weak he was--she kissed his damp forehead, and rushed weeping from his sight.
In the hot evening, while the trained nurse had her tea at grateful leisure in the housekeeper's room, Deb again took that nurse's place.
She sat by the pillow of the patient, leaning against it, holding his hand in hers. Only the sound of the cruel north wind and his more cruel breathing disturbed the stillness that enveloped them. She hoped he was sleeping, until he spoke suddenly in a way that showed him only too wide awake.
"Debbie," he said, "if I was quite sure I would not get well this time, I should put that question to you again."
"What question, dear?" she queried softly.
"The question I asked you just before you left Redford."
"I don't remember--Oh!"
"Yes--that one. But if you consented, I might recover--it would be enough to make me; then you would repent."
She was silent, agitated in every fibre of her, but thinking hard.
"What put that idea into your head?" she whispered, still holding his hand.
"It was never put in; it was there always--since you were a kiddie."
"It seems so strange! I thought I was always a kiddie to you." "That does seem the natural relationship, doesn't it?" There fell another long silence, and, listening to his dragging breath, her heart smote her. She squeezed his bony hand.
"I will stay with you, anyway," she comforted him.
He turned his head on the pillow. "Kiss me," he sighed, with eyes closed.
She did, again and again.
The night was suffocating. She could not sleep for the heat and her thoughts, and when, towards morning, she heard the nurse stirring, she got up to inquire how he was.