Since I Fell For You Part 18

Roman's love was worth every ounce of focus, every bit of determination, and every single moment of pa.s.sion.

Pa.s.sion she already knew was going to last a lifetime.

But first she needed to be as brave as he'd repeatedly said she was. Brave enough to stand firm and not let him push her away tonight, no matter how hard he tried, no matter what he said. She wouldn't let herself give in to fear, wouldn't let herself run, no matter how fast her heart was pounding as she opened herself up to Roman. Body, heart, and soul.

s.e.x had never been more than merely fulfilling physical urges for Suzanne. But she already knew that being with Roman tonight would change everything.

Because it would truly be making love.

"The counter, your bed, the shower, up against the wall-" She listed all the places he had sent whirring through her minutes before. "I want you to take me in all of them, Roman. I want you to love me in all of them."

Before she realized his intention, he was lifting her into his arms and heading toward the stairs. He didn't speak as he took them two at a time, and she didn't dare say more either. Not yet. Not until she was absolutely positive that he wouldn't turn back, certain that he wouldn't pull away from her again.

As a tall woman with curves, she rarely felt delicate. And as a software programmer, she rarely felt feminine. But he was so big, so strong, that she felt both sensations tonight. He carried her as though she weighed nothing at all. And as he held her, it seemed as if he never wanted to let her go.

Twining her arms even more tightly around his neck, she inhaled his clean, masculine scent. She nuzzled her nose against the rough, dark bristles on his face and neck that had grown since they'd left the lake earlier that day. It wasn't enough just to breathe him in, though. She needed to taste him too.

She was about to lick his skin when she was suddenly falling. Straight into the middle of his big bed.

As she looked up at Roman, his face was a mask she couldn't read. But the fact that he hadn't denied having feelings for her-that he hadn't laughed in the face of her saying, You're falling in love with me-already spoke volumes. And the way he was yanking open his b.u.t.ton-down shirt and shoving off his boots said everything else she needed to hear.

Regardless of what he believed to be true about his capacity to love, he wasn't going to turn away from her tonight.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE.

Suzanne Sullivan was in his bed.

Roman was undone by the sight of her long, dark hair strewn across his pillows, her cheeks flushed with arousal, her eyes bright with antic.i.p.ation. Still wearing the black T-shirt and jeans she'd put on that morning, she was utterly stunning. And s.e.xy as h.e.l.l, even with nearly every inch of skin covered up.

How could he not kiss the bravest, most extraordinary woman he'd ever known? And how could he not make love to her, when every moment between them had led them here, to this inevitable night together?

From the start, he'd thought she was an open book, especially about things she loved. And now, where other women might hide their feelings, she'd said that she loved him.

Suzanne loved him.

She'd said he was falling in love with her too. Said it so sweetly. So confidently. As though she wasn't the slightest bit afraid it might not be true. He'd never known anyone strong enough to open up her heart like that. Open it up to the potential pain of not having that happily ever after.

He wished like h.e.l.l he could prevent that pain. But once he told her the full truth about his past...

One night. He desperately wanted this one precious night with her. One night where honor could finally take a backseat to desire. One night where he could love her with his body in all the ways he didn't deserve to love her with his heart. He would tell her everything in the morning, but for the next few hours, he couldn't waste the chance to love Suzanne Sullivan with everything he had.

He tossed his shirt into the corner of his bedroom before prowling toward her.

"Wow," she breathed. "You're amazing."

She stared at his bare chest as if in awe, and he couldn't help but be filled with pride that she liked what she saw. All those endless hours of push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups had been worth it, if for no other reason than to please her.

"I don't feel the least bit sorry for the women you've been with and dumped before me. Not now that I know what they got to see." She reached for him. "What they got to touch."

He grabbed her hand before she could make contact with his abs, gently but firmly. When she'd nuzzled his neck on the way up to his bedroom, he'd nearly taken her right then and there on the stairs. But he needed tonight to be good for her. Not just good-mind-blowing. Which meant he couldn't let her touch him, kiss him, yet. Not when he was poised to erupt at any second from the slightest provocation.

After capturing her other wrist as swiftly, he brought both of her hands to his lips. He kissed her pinkies first, then the tips of her ring fingers, then her middle fingers, then her pointer fingers. When he got to her thumbs, he swept his tongue against each pad.

"Roman." Her voice shook as she said his name. "You're not going to make this quick and dirty, are you?"

Dirty? Yes.

Quick? Not on her life.

In lieu of answering her with words, however, he traced the three lines inside her left palm with his tongue. Her whole body began to tremble, and the flush from her cheeks seemed to have spread everywhere.

"I never knew my hands were erogenous zones," she whispered as he turned his attention to her right palm.

"Every part of you is capable of feeling pleasure," he murmured before running kisses up the tender skin at the inside of her wrist. "And I'm not going to let either of us rest tonight until we've discovered all of them." He punctuated his promise with a swirl of his tongue inside her right elbow.

He'd never met anyone with as unwavering a focus as Suzanne. Right now, it was gratifying to have every ounce of it on what he was doing with his mouth. Especially when the gentle sc.r.a.pe of his teeth over her bicep brought a gasp.

"You've only kissed my hands and arms, and I'm already about to do something I never thought I would do in a million years."

He stopped his onslaught of kisses to ask, "What's that?"

She looked as though she couldn't believe what she was about to say. "Beg."

He didn't even try to hold back a wicked grin. "Oh, you'll definitely be begging before I'm done with you."

"I don't like that word. Done."

He didn't either, regretting it the moment he said it. But he didn't have a better word to replace it, not when he refused to be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d who made promises he couldn't fulfill. The only way he could erase the reminder that this night wouldn't last forever was with pleasure, with arousing kisses and naughty nips at parts of her body she'd never even known were s.e.xual.

He lifted both arms above her head and wrapped her fingers around the iron bars of his headboard. "Keep your hands here until I tell you to let go."

"What if I don't?"

He liked her challenge more than he should. Liked everything about her more than he should, d.a.m.n it. "I'll tie you up if I have to."

It was a million miles from the romantic things he was sure she wanted to hear, but you wouldn't have known it from the spark that lit in her eyes. "So either way, I win?"

She'd done this from the start, made him laugh with her smart mouth. "Tonight," he promised, "we're both going to win."

The sound of her breath catching in her throat at his s.e.xy vow was unbearably erotic. And the teasing smile she gave him as she made a show of letting her fingers go slack on the iron before gripping it even tighter a few seconds later, had his blood racing so hot in his veins he was surprised there wasn't steam coming off his skin.

With her arms lifted over her head, her T-shirt rode up so that a couple of inches of smooth skin were bared. Forcing himself to go slow, to tease and taste rather than immediately devour the way he so badly wanted to, he feathered his fingertips over her stomach. Firm muscles danced beneath his fingers as she worked for breath. But he didn't plan on letting her get it back anytime soon as he lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her belly b.u.t.ton.

She was still holding on to the headboard as her body arched toward his, a little pleading sound coming from her throat. "You taste so sweet," he murmured against her belly, before reaching for the hem of her shirt and slowly sliding it up to uncover the lower edge of her rib cage. He nuzzled his bristly jaw over her. "You feel so soft." Taking the cotton fabric between his teeth, he dragged it up even higher to reveal a delicate, yellow lace bra.

Perhaps he should have been surprised by the feminine undergarments beneath the black T-shirt. But he wasn't, because Suzanne was the full package. Brains and beauty, serious and sensuous, all at the same time.

He'd spent the past two decades trying to make up for his behavior as a teen in the boxing ring by holding himself to perfect control everywhere else. But with Suzanne, his control wasn't just fraying-it had shattered into so many tiny pieces that he honestly didn't realize he'd ripped her T-shirt in two until it lay splayed open on either side of her.

If ever there was a cue that it was time to stop the madness, this should have been it. But instead of cringing away from him, Suzanne urged, "More." She licked her lips, leaving them glossy and extra kissable. "I want more of you. More of your pa.s.sion. More of everything."

Permission granted-demanded, even-he cupped her lace-covered b.r.e.a.s.t.s, groaning at how perfectly they filled his large hands. His thumbs stroking her soft skin, he loved feeling the tips pucker tightly against the thin layer of yellow lace.

Bending his head, he covered the lace with his mouth, licking, sucking, biting at her flesh like a man possessed. In response, she arched her back up off the mattress, giving herself over to him completely.

He'd known all along that she would be like this in bed, utterly unashamed, totally unafraid to follow wherever pa.s.sion led. The fact that she wouldn't balk at anything-and that she would find pleasure wherever he did-made him even crazier. So crazy that, yet again, he was barely aware of what he was doing as he caught his teeth on the thin lace threads that held her bra together at the center and tore them apart. All he knew was that there was no going back. Definitely not tonight. Maybe not ever.

Because once he had Suzanne-once he had all of her-nothing would ever be as good. He already craved the taste of her, was a slave to her scent, was addicted to her sounds of pleasure.

His hands and mouth vied for possession of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s as he moved over her to take everything he so badly wanted. But he couldn't get enough of her, no matter how much he stroked, caressed, kissed, nipped. Again and again he loved first one breast, then the other, then both together. Her hips rose up against his as she said his name in a voice that grew more hoa.r.s.e by the second.

"Roman. Please." He'd never heard anything more beautiful than the sound of her begging him to help her find release. "I'm so close."

The thought of taking her over that first peak with nothing more than his hands and mouth at her b.r.e.a.s.t.s nearly took him over the edge.

It was pure male instinct to push the hard ridge of his still fully clothed erection into the heated vee between her legs at the same moment that he cupped both of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and suckled hard. In the s.p.a.ce between heartbeats, every muscle in her body tensed, then let go as she went pliant with pleasure, undulating her hips beneath his to catch the waves of bliss that washed over her, through her.

When her climax finally subsided, she lay back against the pillow looking at him with a lazy smile on her face. "That was amazing."

And it was only the beginning.

He'd kept her jeans on to force himself to go slowly, but he was going to lose it soon if he couldn't finally see, touch, taste every glorious inch of her. He had her sneakers off and the dark denim on the floor within seconds, leaving her clad only in yellow lace panties.

In an effort to regain even the tiniest bit of his self-control, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. But the scent of her arousal only revved him higher, pushing him that much closer to the edge of madness.

Reverently, he knelt between her long, toned legs and reached to cup her lace-covered s.e.x. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she rubbed herself against his hand. "Do it again, Roman. Make me come apart again. With your hands. With your mouth. Any way you want me, I want it too."

He was already more than halfway to doing everything she wanted, but he understood why she was saying the words aloud. Because after spending so long vowing to resist her and believing it was the only honorable path forward, she obviously wanted him to know that he wasn't doing anything she didn't want him to do.

He wanted to tell her that he was going to make her come at least a half-dozen different ways tonight, with each climax better than the one before, but he couldn't get the words out. Not when he was wholly focused on hooking his thumbs into the edge of her panties and slowly sliding them down. He barely had them off when he had to cup her again and stroke her wet, hot skin.

She was slippery with arousal, his fingers sliding back and forth over her until he couldn't stand not to go inside, first with one finger and then a second. Looking at her face, he realized she was watching him touch her, watching herself lift into his hand so that she could take him deeper with each stroke.

She climbed higher and higher, her skin flushing an even deeper rose, her eyes dilating as another o.r.g.a.s.m beckoned, her breath coming even faster now than when they'd been sprinting through the park.

Her head fell back and her eyes fluttered closed as she chased her next climax, his name falling from her lips again. He'd never been this hard, never been this close to losing it as he was when she pulsed and clenched over his fingers in release.

Sweet Lord, if it was this good to feel her come, how was he ever going to survive making love to her?

He'd deliberately saved kissing her mouth for last, because once they kissed again, he wouldn't be able to keep from making her entirely, completely his. And he wanted her to know how precious, how special, she was to him before that happened. Not just to have a quick roll in the hay that would be over far too soon.

He ran the flats of his hands up her naked curves-the sweet flare of her hips that flowed into her waist, the swell of her full b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her strong shoulders. Finally, he tangled his fingers in the dark silk of her hair.

"You make me happy, Roman." He felt her words as much as he heard them. Felt them all the way down in a part of his heart he hadn't ever let come alive. "So, so happy."

How could he do anything but tell her the truth? "You make me happy too."

And then, his mouth was on hers, and hers was on his.

Finally.

Every nerve in Roman's body came alive when Suzanne opened her lips so that he could slip his tongue in to taste her. Nothing had ever been as sweet. And nothing had ever felt as good as it did when she slid her tongue against his.

Slowly. Softly. That was how he wanted to kiss her. He wanted this to be a kiss for the ages. A kiss that neither of them would ever forget. But there was no way to hold back the fire raging inside them both. One that soon made their kisses heated, feverish, frenzied.

Everything he wished he could say to her, he said with his kiss instead. The way their tongues danced, their breath merged, their sighs and moans filled the room-all of it was filled with hope. Dreams. Wishes. And hunger.

So much hunger that the more he had of her, the more he needed.

Somewhere in the middle of their kiss, her hands left the bed frame to run over his shoulders and back.

"I need you." She fumbled for the b.u.t.ton on his pants. "Inside me." He lifted his hips so that she could yank the b.u.t.ton open and the zipper down. "Now."

She was starting to shove off his pants when he distracted her with another kiss. He needed to lick her lips from corner to corner, top to bottom, needed to stroke her tongue with his, needed to kiss and kiss and kiss her until she was practically coming again from that alone.

But she was too focused on her goal of having him inside her-the best d.a.m.ned goal in the entire world as far as he was concerned-to let him distract her for long. Grasping the dark wool of his slacks with her hands, she tore through them just as he had her T-shirt.

He'd never been with a woman this fierce, this determined, this captivating, this perfect in every single way.

And then she was shoving off his boxers and wrapping her long fingers around him. It felt so good that he could barely force himself to pull away from her hand.

"I knew letting your hands go free was a bad idea," he growled against her mouth as he threaded his fingers through hers.

If she touched him again like that, he'd explode, but that wasn't the only reason he needed to hold her hands. Their lips were one point of deep connection-their palms pressing close, their fingers entwined, were another.

He'd never in his life held a woman's hands, not when they were walking down the street, and especially not when they were in bed. You didn't hold hands with someone you were casually sleeping with, only with someone you cared about. And as he'd confessed earlier in the night, he'd never cared about a woman before.

But he needed to hold Suzanne's hands. Needed to be close to her in any and every possible way. Skin to skin. Mouth to mouth. Hand to hand. And now...

She lifted her hips against his and he slid his erection over her slick heat, making them both moan at how good it was. "Again," he urged her, pushing against her wetness, but not quite inside. "Yes," he murmured against her mouth as she circled her hips so that the thick, hard head of his shaft was rubbing over her liquid hot center. "Make yourself feel good, Suzanne." He loved saying her name, loved the way the curves and edges of it felt on his tongue. "Make yourself come on me." Sweat dripped from his chest to hers as he worked to hold back his own release so that she could find hers. "Just like this, with nothing between us, just the way I know you've wanted me. Just the way I've wanted you."

She moaned her pleasure at his filthy words into their next kiss, then gasped as he thrust his tongue deep and she launched into her next climax.

Roman wanted nothing more than to drive himself into her, but somehow, he remembered to just keep rubbing and grazing and grinding against her until she finally stilled beneath him. The very last thing he wanted was to pull away from her now, but he hadn't been thinking clearly enough earlier to get a condom ready.

She made a sound of protest as he slid his hands from hers and leaped off the bed. He grabbed a handful of condoms from the box he kept in his closet, then jumped back over her, scattering all but one of the little packages across his bed.

Her laughter wound around his heart. "Great minds think alike," she said. "We're definitely going to need more than one."

Utterly captivated by her smile, he momentarily forgot to rip open the package. All he could do was stare down at the most beautiful woman in the world...and marvel that she was here, in his bed.