Since I Fell For You Part 17

"A real prince?" She looked impressed.

"Yes, a real prince. He was a friendly guy in his mid-twenties and his family told me there had been threats sent to him in the mail. It was my job not only to shadow him, but also to intercept any packages either sent or given to him, and then turn them over to the head of palace security for inspection. His parents, the king and queen, were very clear that no one else must be allowed to see what was in the packages. Not even him."

"Weird."

"Definitely weird." Fifteen years ago he'd been a total greenhorn. Green, but so happy to be carving out a new life for himself that he was willing to take on pretty much any job that came his way. The worst client was better than making a living with his fists in brutal underground fights where you either destroyed...or got destroyed. "His family was working really hard at that time to find him the right royal match."

"Can you imagine marrying into a monarchy? I mean, I know there are perks like jewels and fancy dresses, but I wouldn't like always having to be on."

Roman agreed. "Marriage is hard enough without all of those pressures. Jewels are a pretty big incentive for most people, though."

Suzanne stopped chopping, then splayed her fingers. "I've never been able to wear big rings or bracelets because they get in my way at the computer. Earrings, however, are a different matter." She grinned. "I've always been partial to rubies, if you're wondering."

Roman was. .h.i.t with an image of Suzanne wearing ruby earrings and nothing else. He could buy them for her easily-but money wasn't the issue. The fact that it would be utterly inappropriate for him to buy her jewelry was. Because he wasn't her boyfriend, d.a.m.n it.

Her work crisis and then the apartment fire had forced him to put the promise he'd made to her brothers on the back burner for the time being. He wished he could put it on the back burner forever...

"Anyway," she said, "I didn't mean to interrupt your story."

What had they been talking about before he'd gotten lost in his erotic daydream of Suzanne naked in his bed, wearing only rubies? Oh right, the prince.

"I intercepted a good half-dozen packages and turned them over. No one would tell me what was in them, but they made it clear that the threat was at a higher level than ever. The prince had a different event each night and I watched him like a hawk. Nothing was going to happen on my watch."

"Of course it wouldn't," Suzanne said, as if the idea was preposterous.

"The final night I worked for him, one of his friends from university came to visit. I did a background on the guy and when it came up clean, I let them head to his private suite of rooms with his friend's suitcases." He shook his head at his own stupidity. "It didn't occur to me that a visitor's private bags would be an issue. Especially not a close friend."

"It's always the ones you least suspect, isn't it?"

"It often is," he agreed. "I can't remember exactly why I needed to interrupt them. One of the staff desperately needed an answer about something for the prince's mother, probably. But I'll never forget what I saw."

"I know you said this was going to be funny, but the way you're telling this story, I'm a little worried now."

"Glitter."

"Excuse me?" She was half-laughing already. "Did you just say you found glitter in his room?"

"Turns out the prince was crazy about glitter. He would have covered the family dog in it if he could have. Fortunately, Fido knew better than to be anywhere near that wing of the palace." They were both chuckling now. "He begged me not to tell anyone what I'd found. Evidently, the packages being confiscated were full of glitter. His family was terrified that if anyone found out about his glitter fetish before he made the right match, no one would agree to the union."

"Surely a little glitter between husband and wife could be fun, couldn't it? Although," she mused with a crooked little grin, "I suppose that would depend on where the glitter ended up..."

He grimaced. "I can tell you for a fact that there are definitely some places you don't want glitter stuck to."

When she burst into a fresh round of laughter, the sound was so sweet that he nearly kissed her across the kitchen island. Only the pasta dough in his hands and the knife in hers could have stopped him.

"Where?" Her laughter rounded out the word. "On your face?"

He shook his head.

"Your arms? Hands? Torso?"

Three more headshakes.

Her eyes grew big. "You didn't let him glitter you below the waist, did you?"

He'd sworn to go to his grave before ever admitting what had gone on in the palace that night. But he'd do anything to make her laugh again. "Did I mention how persuasive the prince was? And that I was a young, stupid bodyguard who didn't know any better, particularly when my client insisted it was the only way to cure his obsession? Turns out glitter is small enough to get in even the smallest gaps in fabric. Days later, I was still finding glitter on myself."

She was laughing even harder by the time a knock came at his door. If only Eddie had appeared a few minutes earlier, Roman might have been spared telling the glitter story. But Suzanne's happiness was worth any number of stupid stories. Anything to make sure she didn't become sh.e.l.l-shocked and scared again.

"Roman, here's the junk food you asked f-" The boy swallowed the rest of his sentence when he saw Suzanne in the kitchen. "Wow. You're hot."

"Eddie." Roman had taught the kid better than that. Then again, Suzanne had made Roman's brain go off the rails the first time he'd seen her too, so he supposed he couldn't blame the teenage boy for forgetting his manners. "Her name is Suzanne, but you can call her Miss Sullivan. After you apologize."

"No need for an apology," she said with a wave of her hand. "Handing over your junk food haul will be more than enough."

Eddie practically tripped over himself to get to her. "Two bags of microwave popcorn with extra b.u.t.ter and the biggest container they had of Triple Chunk Brownie Hot Fudge Chocolate Supreme ice cream."

Suzanne hugged Eddie like he'd given her the moon and the stars in a brown paper bag. Roman was caught between laughing at the teenager's bug-eyed reaction...and the urge to rip the kid away from his woman.

Not even the slightest bit aware of how far she'd rocked Eddie's world-and that she'd likely be providing him with late-night fantasy material for the next decade-she stepped back, peeled off the top of the ice cream container, and handed out three spoons.

"I've always been a dessert-first kind of girl." Her first bite of the sugary dessert had her eyes closing and a moan of deep pleasure sounding from her throat. Lord, how he wanted to hear that sound again-only next time in his bed, while he was making love to her.

Eddie quickly shoveled in several large mouthfuls, and was gaping at Suzanne like a lovestruck puppy when Roman put down his own spoon to say, "I'm sure your mom's expecting you for dinner."

"She'd probably let me eat with you guys."

"Sorry, bud," Roman said, "not tonight." When the kid's shoulders slumped, he knew Suzanne was about to say a third would be fine. But Roman wanted her to relax tonight, not feel obliged to entertain a fifteen-year-old boy who had fallen in love with her at first sight. "Maybe next time."

"Next time? So that means you're coming back, right?" Eddie asked Suzanne. "Because I've never seen a girl here before."

She raised her eyebrows. "Never? Not even one?"

"Nope. Roman's got this thing about not having girls at his place. My mom says it's weird. She's going to be super happy to hear about you."

"Really?" She shot a speculative glance at Roman. "So I'm the first girl to ever set foot inside this loft?"

"Except for my ma," Eddie clarified, "but she doesn't count because she's married to my dad."

"I sure hope I'll be coming back." She looked straight into Roman's eyes. "Lots and lots and lots of times." She licked off her spoon-inadvertently making both Roman and Eddie go a little crazier-then covered up the ice cream carton and put it in the freezer. "Thanks for the junk food, Eddie. And for being an all-around cool guy."

"Anytime. See you around." Eddie gave Roman the same look Jerry had. One that said, Don't blow it with her, dude.

How anyone thought Roman was in Suzanne's league, he couldn't imagine. Her brother Alec was right-he wasn't anywhere near good enough for her. But given the circ.u.mstances that now had them sharing his loft, he was going to have to dig even deeper for the control to keep from kissing her the way he had by the lake. Every night since he'd started working for her, it had been h.e.l.l knowing she was only a few walls away. But later tonight, when she was in his bed while he slept out on the couch...

He honestly wasn't sure how he was going to make it through until morning without touching her, kissing her, holding her.

"Sorry about Eddie's big mouth," Roman said after the door closed behind him. "I've been working on his manners, but sometimes fifteen wins out."

"I thought he was sweet. And I also think it's sweet that you've taken him under your wing like this. You must be really close to his parents."

"I am," Roman said, hating himself for the things he wasn't telling her. Things that would douse the light in her eyes when she looked at him.

He was about to reach into a drawer beside her hip for the pasta cutter when he made the mistake of letting himself look into her eyes instead.

Their gazes caught. Held.

And then, before he knew it, she was brushing her fingertips over his lower lip. "You've got some chocolate right here."

That was all it took for the hungry male inside of him to finally win. He stopped holding himself in check for just long enough to lick the chocolate from her finger.

The instant his tongue made contact with her skin, everything stilled. The laughter, the funny stories-they were all gone in an instant.

The heated attraction that had been simmering beneath the surface since the first moment they'd met was the only thing that mattered now.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR.

"I shouldn't have done that." But Roman didn't step away from her touch, and she didn't take her hand from his face.

"Yes, you should," she said softly. "As soon as we got into the car at the lake to come home, I was planning to make you talk to me about what happened last night...and how I want it to happen again."

"Suzanne." He needed to remain rational. Even if it was the last thing he wanted. "We can't. I can't."

"Why not? And you're going to have to come up with something beyond my brothers and being my bodyguard. Those stopped being good reasons a long time ago. Especially now that my brothers already know about us and I've told them to back off, or else. And don't try to blame this on the fire in my apartment either. I'm not going to deny that it got me feeling a little shaky and scared-but that doesn't have anything to do with what was already going on between us."

Us. He liked the sound of that way too much. Wanted it so badly that he could barely shove his longing away as he made himself move out of reach.

"The way I treat women I hook up with-I couldn't treat you like that."

"You mean in bed?" She bit her lip, then let the succulent flesh go. "Because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't object to anything you wanted to try. Even if it's kind of kink-"

"No," he got out past a strangled throat. "Not in bed." Jesus, he could barely think beyond the breath-stealing image of Suzanne being kinky in his bed, didn't know how he was going to string together a coherent sentence. "I'm talking about everything else I do to them."

"You would never physically hurt a woman unless she was a threat to your client's safety. And even then, I know you'd regret it. So what could you possibly do to the women you date that's so bad?"

He couldn't lie to her, even knowing she would be disgusted by him once she knew the truth. Especially when that was supposed to be his goal, wasn't it? To make sure she understood that being with him was bad news. He'd promised her brothers no less than that on the dock last night.

"I don't care."

"You don't care..." She c.o.c.ked her head. "About what, exactly?"

"Them." The word fell like a stone between them. "The women I date. The women I sleep with. I don't care about them. I don't care about any of them."

"Are you saying that you've never been in love with any of the women you've been with?"

"I haven't, but it's more than that. I've never even come close to having feelings about any of them. Ever since I was a teenager, one woman has been the same as the next to me. Like father, like son."

"I still don't understand. How are you like your father? And how does this play into the fact that you've never fallen for anyone you've dated?"

Suzanne deserved so much. Deserved everything he couldn't give her. Which was why he made himself push even deeper into the truth. "My childhood was a parade of interchangeable women. Once my mom left, my dad could never trust another woman. But just because he didn't trust them, that didn't stop him from sleeping with as many as possible. I learned a long time ago that he was never going to change his stripes. And neither will I." His gut twisted as he strove to make sure she understood exactly what he was telling her. "Women have always, and will always be, interchangeable to me. I can't stand the thought of ever hurting you, Suzanne. Which is why you and I can never be anything more than friends."

The last thing he expected her to do after he laid out the awful truth was smile. Or to say, "You weren't friends with any of your previous lovers, were you?"

"No, I wasn't."

"So that's already something different, because you said it yourself. You and I are friends." She didn't give his brain time to catch up before adding, "And if you don't want to hurt me, that means you already care about me." She looked triumphant as she concluded, "Which means your reasons to keep your distance no longer apply."

He should have known this conversation wouldn't go the way he'd planned. He should have expected Suzanne's superpowered brain to leapfrog his. But that didn't mean he could give up on convincing her to find someone better.

"I'm trying to protect you." And he'd never forgive himself if he let something happen tonight and ended up breaking her heart. "You need to listen to me."

"No, you need to listen to me." He'd never known anyone so strong, so powerful-and yet so gentle and good-all in one devastatingly beautiful package. "I see the way your eyes soften when you look at me. And when you kiss me, it's magic. Sweet, sinful magic." He watched her skin flush at the memory of the sparks that had exploded between them, and felt his heat up too. "No matter how hard you try, you can't hide what you're feeling. Not from me." She took his hands in hers, the flour from the pasta he'd been making coating her skin as she ran her fingers along his with shocking sensuality. "It took me a long time to understand that the mistakes my father and mother made were theirs, not mine. I've only just realized that I don't have to repeat their broken love story." She interlaced her fingers with his, then took a step closer. "And neither do you."

All he wanted was to believe that what she was saying could be true. He was beyond desperate to drag her into his arms and crush her mouth beneath his. Every last need, every ounce of his pa.s.sion, was wrapped up in having Suzanne naked and pliant and gasping with pleasure in his arms.

At this point, there was only one last-ditch way to save her from the relentless, unquenched desire that had turned them both inside out. He'd tried blunt. But he hadn't been crude. Hadn't fully shocked her into seeing exactly what being with him would be like when he wasn't capable of being the man she seemed to think he was.

"I want you. We both know how much I want you." He let her see the unguarded truth of his intense need for her. "But I d.a.m.n well won't let myself touch you tonight unless you can honestly tell me that after we sleep together, and I don't call, your feelings won't be crushed." He hated himself a thousand times over for painting such a bleak and brutal picture for her, regardless of its honesty. "No matter how hard you try," he said in an echo of her words from moments before, "you can't hide how much you long for a love like your brother Drake has found with Rosa, like what Smith and Valentina have. I'm not going to deny that I want to touch you, kiss you in a thousand different ways. I'm not going to claim that I don't want to tear off your clothes and take you right here on the counter, and then again in my bed, my shower, up against the wall, any and every possible way I can have you. But just because I can't control my desire for you, that doesn't mean I'm going to be the happily-ever-after you've been looking for. I'll never be that man."

This was where she would finally break away from him. This was where she would tell him to go to h.e.l.l for daring to speak to her this way. This was where she would look deep into his eyes and see the emptiness, the darkness inside his heart from all the past misdeeds he could never undo.

She slid her hands from his, cupped his jaw, and said, "I promise I won't be crushed."

"Suzanne." Her name was a plea. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Neither am I." His voice was tight with emotion...and unquenched need. "I don't want to hurt you, but if we do this tonight, I know I will."

"You won't." She feathered her fingertips over his face and went up on her tippy toes so that they were face-to-face. "You might not have wanted this to happen, but you're falling in love with me. Just like I'm falling in love with the bodyguard I swore I didn't even want"-she slid her arms around his neck and pressed the length of her body against his-"but now don't think I can live without."

Suzanne's heart had never pounded this hard. This fast. But it wasn't because she was nervous. How could she be nervous when Roman was the one she'd been hoping for?

She'd almost been too frightened by the depth and speed of her feelings to see what was right in front of her. But after her father had helped remove her blinders-and after Roman had just admitted how much she meant to him, and that he never wanted to hurt her-she was one hundred percent positive that he was the true love she'd always believed she'd find one day.

She wished he could see it as clearly as she did. But if there was one thing she'd learned from her endless hours of reworking code, it was that it took time to see some things clearly. Time-and focused, determined, pa.s.sionate effort.

Tonight, she was going to apply all those lessons she'd learned from running her business to something infinitely more important than any code she had ever, or would ever, write.