Since I Fell For You Part 13

No. No. That wasn't who she was. She wasn't the kind of woman who fell apart over love. She wasn't her mother, d.a.m.n it.

Forcing a smile for the movie star, Suzanne said, "I'd love to dance with you, Buck."

She hoped her words and her movements as she reached for Buck's outstretched hand didn't look as wooden as they felt. He was a nice guy, and he didn't deserve to be a p.a.w.n while she tried to regain some of her self-worth. But sometimes, no matter how much you wanted to be rational and fair and nice, you just couldn't pull it off.

She didn't look at Roman as she let Buck move them deeper onto the crowded dance floor, wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how badly he'd hurt her.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.

Suzanne didn't dance one song with Buck, she danced ten. Possibly more, since Roman lost count somewhere in the haze of jealousy that wrapped tighter and tighter around him every time Buck touched her or made her laugh. For well over an hour, Roman warred with himself over his urge to burst onto the dance floor and drag her away from the guy. But he couldn't do that. Not because he was afraid of what it would do to his career prospects with anyone else at the wedding, but because he'd already hurt Suzanne enough. He wouldn't embarra.s.s her too.

As it was, he'd never forget the way she looked when he said, I'm your bodyguard, not your boyfriend. Every time he hurt her, it further reinforced how right he was to keep his distance. She deserved the true love Smith and Valentina had, not the emotional devastation that Roman had seen go down between his mother and father.

Over and over again, he reminded himself that Suzanne and Buck were just dancing. Since there was no way that Roman was going to let the movie star take things any further, for the rest of the evening he needed to shake off his irrational jealousy and focus on doing the job he'd been hired for.

At long last, Suzanne and Buck didn't dance straight through to the next song. Instead, she pointed off in the direction of the restrooms, while Buck gestured toward the bar, obviously hoping she'd join him for drinks. When she nodded her agreement, Roman growled-loudly enough that he startled one of the nearby guests.

"Is there a problem?" she asked, clearly concerned at seeing one of the security guards so visibly upset.

"No, ma'am." And there d.a.m.n well wouldn't be a problem as long as Buck didn't try to ply Suzanne with alcohol so that he could make his move.

Roman kept a good dozen feet between himself and Suzanne as she headed off the dance floor, while making sure he never lost sight of her until she went into the ladies' room. Though she was probably dying to get away from him at this point, he knew she wouldn't go back on her promise not to sneak away during the wedding.

While he waited beneath a maple tree, several female guests sent smiles his way. But Suzanne was the only woman who got his engine running now.

Suzanne spotted him immediately when she left the ladies' room. She hadn't looked his way since she'd accepted Buck's invitation to dance, giving Roman the cold shoulder he more than deserved. But instead of heading off to have a drink with the movie star, she made a beeline for Roman.

"Do you have to follow me everywhere?"

She already knew the answer, and he knew she was simply venting, which meant the professional response would be to let her question go. But she wasn't the only one who needed to vent.

Making sure no one was close enough to overhear, he said, "I do. Which is why you should tell me if you're planning to sleep with any movie stars tonight, so I can get my background checks done before your clothes come off."

Her eyes went big, as if she couldn't believe what he'd said. h.e.l.l, he could hardly believe it. He'd never spoken to a client this way before. Never come close.

"Did you really just ask me if I'm planning to sleep with Buck tonight?"

Her question was loud enough that Roman said, "Unless you want people to talk, we'd better finish this conversation in a more private location."

"I can't wait to finish it."

He followed her behind the building and off into a grove of birch trees. Soon, the branches around them were thick enough that the sound of the band and guests was only a low hum.

She spun around to face him. "I already told you, I'll sleep with whomever I want, whenever I want. And just so you know, I wasn't even the slightest bit interested in sleeping with Buck. But now that you've made me consider it..." She shrugged and bared her teeth at him in the faintest possible approximation of a smile. "Maybe it would be a good idea to let off some steam with someone who isn't always pushing me away and seems to want me."

He knew he should count to ten inside his head before replying. Knew he should get his G.o.dd.a.m.ned heart rate down. Knew he should try to muster up even the barest shred of professionalism. But there was no way to hold back anymore.

Not when it felt like he'd been holding back with Suzanne for an eternity.

"How many times do I have to tell you, every guy here wants you!"

"You don't!"

Roman had never yelled at a client before. But Suzanne had stopped being just a client almost from the very start. And whether he wanted it to be true or not, he wasn't just her bodyguard either. He had always been way too close to the line with her. Closer now to falling over the edge than ever before.

He needed to back away. Needed to find another bodyguard to take his place. Needed to turn around and never look back. Needed to shove thoughts of Suzanne out of his head-and desire out of his body-forever.

But he couldn't. Not when the most brilliant woman in the world seemed to believe something so stupid. So utterly idiotic.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want you. I've wanted you from the first minute I set eyes on you. Your mouth, your brain, your body-all of you is irresistible." He couldn't stop the words from coming. "That's why I've been h.e.l.lbent on staying your bodyguard. Because you need someone to watch over you, someone to make sure you don't end up with the wrong guy. A guy like me, who doesn't deserve you." His lungs were heaving as if he'd sprinted around a track. "But not kissing you is the hardest thing I've ever done."

He didn't realize how still she'd become until he finally shut up. Didn't realize until it was too late to take his confession back that the gleam in her eyes had shifted from anger to desire.

"Do it." Where he hadn't been able to modulate his voice down from a roar, hers was barely above a whisper. "Kiss me, Roman." She licked her lips, moving closer. "So I can know how you feel." She lowered her gaze to his mouth. "How you taste."

Every moment since the night at the gallery when he'd started working for her, he'd been fighting. Fighting his desire for her. Fighting to remember all the reasons he couldn't have her. Fighting to convince himself that they shouldn't cross any client/bodyguard boundaries.

But tonight, after a wedding steeped in the kind of romance he'd never believed was true, after seeing Suzanne with her close-knit family, after being eaten up with jealousy while watching her dance with another man-he couldn't fight it a second longer.

Still, as one hand moved to tangle in her hair and the other curved around her hip, he made himself give it one last shot. "You're going to regret it."

"No, I won't." Her words were breathless. Excited. "All I want is for you to kiss me."

Lord, did he ever want that too. And yet, now that she was finally in his arms and he was letting himself touch her, he had to stroke her jaw with his thumb. Had to memorize the hitch in her breath as her breathing sped up.

"You're beautiful, Suzanne." He inhaled her sweet and spicy scent. "So beautiful I can't stop looking, can't stop wanting to touch, even when I know I shouldn't."

She reached for him too, putting her hands on his biceps, then running them up and over his shoulders and back, his muscles and tendons flexing at her touch. "You're the beautiful one." She splayed her hand over his abs, which tightened beneath her fingertips. "A work of art." She licked her lips. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. I've never had the kind of dreams about anyone that I have about you. Wicked. s.e.xy. You have no idea how badly I ache when I see you in the morning and know I can't drag you inside to my bedroom and make those dreams real."

His groan at hearing she'd been having s.e.xy dreams about him was m.u.f.fled by her hair as he rubbed his cheek along hers. She was so soft. So warm. As if simply being in his arms like this was more than enough to heat her up all over.

He'd never been so enthralled by anyone, never been so attuned to every beat of a woman's heart, to every breath she inhaled and exhaled, to the way her strong, lithe body trembled against his as she pressed her luscious curves more completely against him.

Finally, he put his mouth on her, feathering the lightest of kisses against the curve of her ear. She made a purring sound and her hands came around his hips to grab the dark wool of his slacks so that his arousal throbbed hard and thick against her stomach.

Kindling turned into red-hot flames as he crushed her mouth beneath his and finally devoured. And she devoured him right back, two ravenous souls finally taking the kiss they'd both been starved for.

She tasted like sunshine.

She tasted like sin.

She tasted like the sweetest treat in the world.

Roman had never believed that time could stop, that the earth could fall off its axis, that his entire life could change in an instant. Not until this kiss, when the pleasure of being with Suzanne was the only thing that mattered. When it felt like he'd finally found the reason he was here. All the hurt, the worry, the boundary lines that had been between them slipped completely away as they moved as close as they could get to one another.

Roman couldn't think. Couldn't plan. Couldn't stop. Couldn't do anything but give in to the greatest pleasure he'd ever known, from nothing more than kissing the woman in his arms.

Her mouth was a gift, one he wanted to spend hours exploring. Days. Weeks. And yet, he couldn't keep his lips from roving across her jaw so that he could lick the sensitive skin of her neck.

Touching, tasting her like this was more than he'd ever thought he'd get to experience. But now that his pent-up need was finally starting to spill through the cracks in his control, the entire dam was about to break. A handful of perfect kisses wasn't enough to quench his thirst for her. He wanted more. Needed more.

So much more that when she said, "I can't get enough of you," he officially lost his mind and reached around to the back of her dress.

Easily finding the zipper, he felt her shiver as he slid it down her spine, his fingertips grazing her soft skin. Just like that, the dress fell, and she was bared to him. There was enough moonlight shining through the trees for him to see that she was wearing only a wisp of panties.

Heels.

And nothing else.

Suzanne wasn't shy as he took in her nearly nude body, nor did she start posing for him like other women had. She simply stood and let him look his fill.

Let him reach out like a man possessed to caress her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

Let him cup the soft swells in his big hands.

Let him slide his callused fingertips over the tightening peaks.

Let him lower his mouth and run his tongue over her.

Let him rain endless kisses over one breast, and then the other, while she arched into his hands, his mouth, whispering his name and tangling her hands in his hair to bring him close and keep him there.

He wanted to drop to his knees before her. Wanted to worship every inch of her body. Wanted to take off the last inches of fabric that hid the rest of her from him. Wanted to press hot kisses between her thighs until she wasn't just whispering his name, but crying it out.

He was so far gone that he was already halfway there, was pressing kisses to the undersides of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, to the top of her rib cage, to the delicious skin above her belly b.u.t.ton, his knees almost on the ground, when a branch broke beneath his foot. Loud enough to break through the desire that had made him blind to all reason, to all sense.

What the h.e.l.l was he doing?

The question whiplashed through his brain as he finally came back to his senses. Close enough to sanity to realize that not only was he kissing Suzanne, but he'd also stripped off her clothes outdoors, right outside a ma.s.sive celebrity wedding where anyone could walk by and find them.

He'd told her brothers, She's safe with me. He'd said, I won't let anything happen to her. But he'd just made a complete mockery of those promises.

He'd vowed to protect her.

He'd nearly ruined her instead.

CHAPTER NINETEEN.

Best. Kiss. Ever.

Suzanne had never felt so good. So alive. She almost pinched herself to make sure it wasn't just another s.e.xy dream.

She'd thought kissing Roman would be good. But the reality was a whole lot closer to mind-blowing. Although even that wasn't strong enough for the way his kisses were making her feel.

It had all happened so fast. First they were yelling at each other. Then he was saying all those amazing things about how much he wanted her. Then one kiss was spinning out into a dozen across her face and neck and shoulders. Then her dress was off...and he was doing the most incredible things with his hands and mouth.

He kissed her, touched her, with pure, unadulterated desperation. She wanted him as badly. Craved him more with every touch, every kiss. She wanted Roman sweet. She wanted him rough. She wanted him slow. She wanted him fast.

She wanted him any and every way she could get him.

"Suzanne, we shouldn't be doing this here."

She wouldn't have been at all averse to making love right where they were, but he was right. It would be smarter to find somewhere more private. A room they wouldn't have to leave for hours and hours.

"I know a place," she told him. "There's a cabin near my father's house that no one ever uses."

She was about to take his hand and lead him there when she belatedly realized her dress was lying on the ground. That was how much his kisses had spun her out of the real world-she hadn't even realized she was wearing only her underwear.

"I should probably put this back on first," she said with a laugh as she bent to pick up the dress. She felt giddy, as though she would never be sad again, never stop smiling.

He silently helped her into the dress, holding the fabric out so that she didn't accidentally catch it with a heel. She loved how gentle his hands were as he slid the dress up over her naked skin, then zipped it into place.

Desperate to kiss him again, she wound her arms around his neck and was closing her eyes and leaning in when she felt his hands grip her forearms.

"Suzanne, stop."

Her mouth grazed his as the words came out. But it wasn't so much what he'd said that gave her pause-it was the way he was touching her. For the past few minutes, he'd been doing anything he could to pull her closer.

Suddenly, it felt as if he was trying to push her away instead.

"No." She wouldn't let him do this again. "You're not going to tell me this is all a big mistake." But by the set of his jaw, she could see that was exactly what he was about to say.

"I shouldn't have talked to you like that. Shouldn't have kissed you like that." His teeth clenched tightly before he unlocked them enough to grind out, "Shouldn't have unzipped your dress and touched you like that. Shouldn't have been about to get on my knees so that I could-" He cut himself off with a curse.

Earlier, when he'd pulled away on the dance floor, she'd a.s.sumed it must be because she wasn't pretty enough, wasn't s.e.xy enough, wasn't feminine enough for him. But now she knew for sure that none of those were the true reasons.

Roman wanted her. Wanted her with a depth of pa.s.sion that took her breath away. And not because she'd somehow managed to seduce him into crossing professional lines the way she'd originally planned.

The attraction, the heat between them was real. Unavoidable. Undeniable.

"I lost control with you," he said, guilt underpinning his every word.

"I loved it when you lost control." How could she get him to see that they were two adults who could break whatever rules they wanted to? That just because he'd come into her life as her bodyguard didn't mean they had to hold to any kind of professional relationship now. "I loved kissing you. I loved everything we were doing." She'd never been this bold with a lover before, but she needed him to know. "I want to do more." She wouldn't let herself back away now. "I want to do everything. With you. Tonight."