Silent. Part 37

The tears stopped. His chest fluttered against me, still heaving from the earlier sobs. I cupped his face and kissed him again, slowly and with just the tip of my tongue reaching in to meet his.

It was different from the other kisses we'd shared...and miles away from the wild l.u.s.t of last night. I still felt the stirring in my pants from being this close to him, but I had no intention of acting on it.

Because tonight meant more than that. These kisses were a promise.

We loved each other, and I would keep him safe.

For all the warmth I'd felt the night before, I was surprised to wake up cold and hungry.

Seb lay curled against my shoulder. A little bit of tear-crust clung to his lashes, but beyond that, there wasn't any sign of how emotional he'd been the night before.

I didn't want to disturb him, so I lay still for as long as I possibly could. My neck ached, though, crushed up like it was against the lumpy backpack. Eventually I had to stretch it out.

He stirred at the slight movement, his face twisting into a grimace.

Ow. He rubbed his back. That hurts. That hurts.

Taking over for him, I ma.s.saged deep into the muscle. "Yeah...and I'm freezing." I buried the tip of my nose in his neck to make my point.

He winced and pulled away.

"Sorry." I chuckled, until he slipped his ice-cold hand under my shirt and pinched a nipple. "Ooof! Okay! Okay!"

With a little grin of victory, Seb let me go.

"So...I know we should be saving money, but there's another thing we gotta buy."

What's that?

"A watch with an alarm." My back cracked as I sat up. "We are not not missing out on that dance studio again. I guess I'm not quite built for life on the streets." missing out on that dance studio again. I guess I'm not quite built for life on the streets."

Seb nodded. Good idea. Good idea.

"We should try and stay there from now on...or, you know, until we figure out something more permanent."

He sat up, too, giving my arms a few brisk rubs to warm them. Okay. Okay.

"You know what? I think we're getting the hang of this. We've got a place to stay, the beach to spend the days at, we've got...each other," I added shyly. "And, uh, ways to..." Seb started dropping little kisses along my cheekbones. "To, uh...pa.s.s the time..."

He landed on my lips.

And at that moment, I was pretty sure we had it made.

Chapter 24: Honeymoon's End.

"Uh, maybe I made a mistake. Lemme double check...ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen...and thirty-five cents."

f.u.c.k. Where had it all gone?

I stared at the pile of crushed bills and change on the dance studio's floor, my heart sinking in fear that I carefully kept from my face.

Of course, I knew where it'd gone. To carnival games and rides, funnel cake and hotdogs and ice cream. To flannel blankets and watches and alarm clocks and McDonalds and junk from the 99-cent store.

Seb glanced over, unconcerned, and continued to trace letters in his booklet.

"We're...we're gonna have to figure this out."

He sighed and put the pencil down, then crawled over to embrace me. d.a.m.n it, he must've heard the worry in my voice.

His arms were golden now, the hair on them so fair it was almost invisible. I brushed my fingers through the soft strands, moving them against the grain. "This'll only last us a few more days. We blew almost all the money in a coupla weeks. I...I shoulda been more responsible."

It wasn't like I hadn't seen this coming. I'd known. I'd just put off dealing with it for as long as possible-or longer than I should've-because I was too busy enjoying myself with him. Too busy being selfish.

He shook his head and ran his knuckles over my cheek. Quit blaming yourself. You're doing the best you can. Quit blaming yourself. You're doing the best you can.

"No, really." I freed myself from his comfort so I could try to think straight. "I have to take better care of us. We need to come up with a plan, right now, so we know what we're gonna do from here on out."

Okay then. He retrieved the booklet and pencil, but kept his attentive eyes on me. So what's the plan? So what's the plan?

"Well...I need to get a job. Like at a fast-food place or something. Except they probably won't take me, because I'm too young...so I'll need a fake ID...which I can't get right now because we don't have enough money."

Seb looked puzzled. Okay... Okay...

"So, step one is to get more money...and to stop spending it so fast. You know, when I went to Venice with Mimi and that guy of hers, he was able to steal us all kinds of stuff. Kettle corn, cotton candy...even some sungla.s.ses. I'm really not that bad at lifting stuff, and with you as a lookout..."

No. He shook his head firmly. He shook his head firmly.

"But listen, with all those open air shops it'd be easier, and we could get some stuff to resell, or even just nab us some food..."

I said, no. He reached over and grabbed my wrists, locking them together like I was in handcuffs. He reached over and grabbed my wrists, locking them together like I was in handcuffs. You could get caught. You could get caught.

Dammit.

"We could be really careful."

He squeezed down harder, pressing into the bone.

"All right, all right, I get it. No stealing."

Satisfied, Seb returned to his tracing.

"I could sell flowers on the street."

I was joking, mostly. Plenty of my people did that...but I'd have to get the flowers from somewhere...and I never really saw kids doing it.

He arched a brow doubtfully.

"Yeah. I know. Out on the street like that...the cops might see me. And they're probably still looking for us, ya know."

He grinned. Seemed he liked being a fugitive with me.

I didn't blame him. Days at the beach and nights lounging on a couch, jerking each other off...I felt like I could live this way forever.

A little alarm went off in my head at the thought-reality trying to edge its way in. I fought it back by moving toward Seb and forcing him into a kiss.

He pretended to be irritated at the interruption, even though he kissed me back. I wished I could have more than just a taste of his lips right then, but the sun was already up, and it was almost time for us to hit the road.

"Okay, really, stop distracting me. I have to think."

Seb pushed me away, little bursts of air coming from his nose-his version of laughter.

"Well, look, I know you like staying here, but I'm just not sure how long we can pull it off. You're worried about us getting caught with the stealing...this is illegal, too."

He rolled his eyes.

Sighing, I pulled off my dirty t-shirt and put on a slightly less dirty one. We were long overdue for a trip to a laundromat-another thing that'd cost money. And now that I'd run through all the other options to earn any, only one way seemed to be left.

"Seb, remember how I told you I used to...uh, deal?"

He glanced up sharply.

"Well, maybe I didn't say it outright, but I'm sure I mentioned it in one of our conversations."

And your point is? He eyed me warily. He eyed me warily.

"So...the only way we stand a chance of getting money fast is doing that. I know some people I can talk to-this guy Diego, maybe. He might know of something I can do. I mean, it'd be small-time at first, but-"

A snapping sound interrupted me, and I looked over to see Seb's pencil lying in two pieces.

"Broke your pencil?" I gathered up the top half and brought it back to him, but he didn't take it from my hand. "We've got some pens, still...or I bet we could pick one up at a bank or something."

Strands of Seb's sun-bleached hair were draped over his forehead, so I couldn't see his eyes.

"Okay?"

No! He s.n.a.t.c.hed the pencil from my palm and threw it across the room. He s.n.a.t.c.hed the pencil from my palm and threw it across the room.

Icy fear flooded me, drowning my other concerns and pushing out goose b.u.mps all over my skin. What the h.e.l.l had just happened?

"Seb, what...what's wrong?" I crouched in front of him, hands hovering a few inches away because I was suddenly afraid to touch.

"Are y-you mad because of the money thing?" My voice shook.

Having him angry with me apparently reduced me to a trembling ball of nerves. No one else had ever had that effect before.

"'Cause I promise, I'm gonna work it out..."

Was he just calling my bluffs, now that he was no longer playing special?

He shook his head, then closed his hand into a fist and tapped at the vein that bulged in his arm.

"What?"

He glared.

"Drugs? You're upset that I'm talking about selling drugs?"

From the fire in his eyes, it almost looked like he was ready to take a swing at me. I rocked back on my feet to get away from him, unsure if I should feel relieved that I had gotten to the root of the problem...or worse. Did he look down on me for my past?

"I...I wouldn't use any, you know. I just wanted to get us some money so we can-"

No! He slammed his hand against a stripper pole. The metal vibrated from the impact. He slammed his hand against a stripper pole. The metal vibrated from the impact. No drugs. No drugs.

"Okay...I'm sorry...please don't be mad. I didn't realize that would bother you. I won't do it. I'm sorry."

His fury started to fade, but it wasn't enough for me. I still felt like I'd been through a blender and my heart had wound up on the outside, sliced through and through.

"Seb, I didn't mean to-"

He grabbed our backpack and shoved in the notebook, stomping to his feet. It's time to go It's time to go.

"Oh. Y-yeah." I scrambled after him.

I wanted to know why he was so against the whole thing, but I was too afraid of another outburst to press him. Drugs were were bad, after all. I knew that. Maybe Seb was just trying to make me a better person. bad, after all. I knew that. Maybe Seb was just trying to make me a better person.

"Um, you wanna get some breakfast? Some Egg Mcm.u.f.fins? Or we could go down to the beach and get some funnel cake...or we could even go to Starbucks..."

He shook his head, rubbing his thumb against his other fingers. We're having money problems, remember? We're having money problems, remember?

"Oh. Right. I just thought..."

Thought what? That I'd buy his happiness?

Maybe I'd been doing that all along...maybe that's why I'd decided it was a good idea to spend most of our money on carnival rides and fair food. Because how happy would he be with me when we were forced to dumpster dive or beg for our meals?

Seb stopped walking in front of the Arby's on the corner. He unzipped the backpack and took out a couple of granola bars.

Here. As he pa.s.sed one to me, his hand slid along mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

I looked up to see his smile back in its rightful place, and I stared at it for a few seconds, using it as a temporary bandage for my battered heart.