Shinrei Tantei Yakumo – SECRET FILES: Kizuna Vol 1 Chapter 1

SECRET FILES – KIZUNA
each wish: chapter 1 (TRANSLATION NOTES)

1

Takagishi Akemi opened the cla.s.sroom door at the same time as the chime went off and stood at the lectern.

The students were still noisy from the break.

Akemi put both hands on the lectern, looked around the cla.s.sroom and waited for the students to quiet down on their own.

Takagishi knew that if you told children of this age to be quiet, they would just grow noisier.

Children in p.u.b.erty didn’t like being told what to do, even if it was a little thing like that.

Rather than being taught that, Akemi had learnt it naturally through her life as a teacher.

The students grew calmer.

‘Now, let’s start.’

Akemi opened the attendance record and looked around the cla.s.sroom again, when she noticed there was an empty seat.

The second seat from the back of the row by the corridor –

Somebody had been there during homeroom this morning.

'Where’s Saitou-kun?’

Akemi asked that question to all the students.

'Isn’t he just skipping again?’

The one who spoke with blatant dislike was Tsukasa, who sat in the very front row and had a leader role in the cla.s.s.

– Again?

'How long’s he been gone?’

Akemi asked that question to Tsukasa, but the reply was an innocent 'I don’t know’.

'Sacchan, do you know?’

Akemi looked at Sachiko, who sat beside the empty seat.

'Ah, er, he was here until the end of the first cla.s.s, but he left during break… I’m sorry.’

Sachiko spoke like a mother apologising for her child’s misconduct.

'It’s OK. It’s not your fault.’

Though Akemi said that to Sachiko, she sighed.

If he had been gone since the second cla.s.s, there should have been some contact from the other teachers, but n.o.body had noticed that he was gone.

Akemi couldn’t understand at all why something like this had been let pa.s.s.

'Let’s have cla.s.s already. I’m seriously itching to study,’ said Tsukasa.

'Liar!’

Youhei, in the seat right behind Tsukasa, made fun of him.

There was stifled laughter from all over the cla.s.sroom.

Akemi couldn’t stop cla.s.s for one person. She knew that. But –

'Please open to page 168 of the textbook and read that pa.s.sage. I’ll be right back.’

The whole cla.s.s let out a shrill 'Ehhhh!’ at Akemi’s words.

However, she still couldn’t continue cla.s.s while ignoring a student who had skipped.

Akemi wrote the words 'Self Study’ on the blackboard and left the cla.s.sroom.

She knew where he would be.

He was always in the same place, as if waiting for someone to bring him back.

Akemi ran to the end of the corridor, took the stairs up and opened the door to the rooftop.

The dry autumn wind hit her face.

Akemi covered her eyes and went out onto the rooftop.

– Just as I expected.

She saw the back of a male student looking at the scenery while standing by the rooftop fence.

– Saitou Yak.u.mo.

The back looked somewhat sad, as if it was burdened with something.

Akemi slowly walked up to Yak.u.mo.

– Why did you skip cla.s.s?

She knew that she wouldn’t get an answer even if she asked Yak.u.mo.

'Hey.’

Akemi called out to Yak.u.mo’s back.

In response, Yak.u.mo slowly turned around.

He wasn’t that different from Akemi in height. Around 150 centimetres. He was a bit short in comparison to other kids his age.

Akemi looked at Yak.u.mo’s face, at the same height as her own.

Yak.u.mo was slender and had well-defined features, though they still looked slightly childish. However, he was so pale that it made her doubt whether he was really alive.

Furthermore, his eyes were endlessly dark and cold.

Akemi didn’t know what he was thinking. His gaze was as expressionless as a machine’s.

Though p.u.b.escent boys were p.r.o.ne to trying to make themselves look bigger, most of that ended at vanity.

However, it was different for Yak.u.mo.

There was something about Yak.u.mo that didn’t match his fifteen years of age.

'What do you want?’ said Yak.u.mo, running a hand through his hair like he thought this troublesome.

An uncertain voice that had just finished changing –

It felt like there was a rejection there, telling people not to approach him.

Yak.u.mo wasn’t rejecting Akemi because she was his homeroom teacher.

Akemi had never seen Yak.u.mo talk with the other cla.s.smates.

Of course, he talked when absolutely necessary, but that was all. The words that came out of Yak.u.mo’s mouth were only short phrases like 'Ah’ and 'I see’.

What sort of person was Yak.u.mo trying to become? What did he like? What did he dislike? There was probably n.o.body in this school whom he would reply to if asked.

'What are you looking at?’ asked Akemi, forcing herself to smile.

'The cherry blossoms…’ said Yak.u.mo, narrowing his eyes.

Akemi felt like there was something wrong with Yak.u.mo’s words. It was autumn now. There were just dead leaves on the branches.

'Even though the flowers aren’t blossoming?’

'Don’t people say this? That corpses are buried under cherry blossom trees,’ said Yak.u.mo expressionlessly.

– Corpses.

Akemi thought that her heart would leap out of her mouth.

He had suddenly said such a frightening thing.

Come to think of it, she’d read something like that in a story before.

It was a story about a man who had the wild idea that the reason cherry blossoms were beautiful was that there were corpses buried underneath the tree and thought of them as symbolic of tragedy[1].

Did Yak.u.mo think that way –

'So did you find it?’ asked Akemi as a joke.

'Find what?’

'A corpse.’

Yak.u.mo seemed surprised by Akemi’s words, as his cheek twitched.

However, then his expression soon became his usual blank one, and he put his hands in his pockets and walked past Akemi to the door, as if to say he didn’t need anything else from her.

'Do you like it here?’ said Akemi, following Yak.u.mo with her eyes.

The truth was, she didn’t actually want to know that. She just wanted to talk more with Yak.u.mo, even if it was just a little.

If it became a chance for him to open his heart –

It might have been naive, but Akemi had that hope, though it was faint.

'Eh?’

Yak.u.mo stopped right in front of the door.

'Since you’re always here.’

'Please just leave me alone, like everyone else.’

That was Yak.u.mo’s answer.

'There’s no way I could leave you alone!’

Akemi felt irritated by what Yak.u.mo said, and she accidently spoke roughly.

’…’

Yak.u.mo said something, his back still facing her.

However, she couldn’t hear it.

'If you have something you want to say, say it clearly.’

The moment Akemi stepped forward to approach Yak.u.mo, Yak.u.mo turned around.

A chill ran down Akemi’s spine when he looked at her.

It felt like that gaze would freeze her.

Akemi lost her words and just stood there in a daze, like a frog under the gaze of a snake.

'I don’t really care, but you’re annoying.’

After a silence, Yak.u.mo said just that and walked away briskly.

Akemi let out a huge sigh and then stood by the fence and looked at the scenery, as Yak.u.mo had been doing.

She saw a cherry blossom tree in the courtyard.

'Annoying… eh…’

Akemi had come back from maternity leave and had been put in charge of Yak.u.mo’s cla.s.s this spring.

The previous instructor had warned her, saying, 'He’s not really any trouble, but you should leave him alone.’

Yak.u.mo rejected everything besides himself, putting up an invisible wall and watching everything from inside of it.

No matter how she tried to reach out, he wouldn’t come out from behind that wall.

Trying to get involved just invited heartache.

Akemi herself had thought about giving up countless times.

There was a limit to what a schoolteacher could do. She knew that. But she just couldn’t leave Yak.u.mo alone.

She knew that she had always had a meddlesome personality.

But was it just her personality making her concerned about Yak.u.mo?

Akemi just couldn’t think of Yak.u.mo as a stranger.

Naturally, they weren’t related by blood. But there was something else – she felt there was something like a connection.

She might have thought that way because of the rumours about him.

Anyway, there must have been a reason for Yak.u.mo to close off his heart. He might have had problems in his family environment.

Come to think of it, Akemi only knew the Yak.u.mo at school.

– Maybe I’ll go visit his house today.

Akemi made that decision.

2

The door opened quietly and Yak.u.mo returned to the cla.s.sroom.

– I’m glad.

Though this always happened, Sachiko felt relieved.

Every time Yak.u.mo disappeared, Sachiko felt nervous. She would worry about whether he was causing trouble and feel anxious about whether he wouldn’t return to the cla.s.sroom.

However, that was just Sachiko. The other students had a different response.

Everyone silently looked at Yak.u.mo with scorn.

Someone who stuck out, throwing everyone’s circle out of order. It felt like they were blaming him that way.

However, Yak.u.mo didn’t seem to care as he sat next to Sachiko’s seat and took a book as thick as a novel from his desk, flipping it open to a bookmark and then reading it with a serious expression.

At the same time, other people started talking.

'I really wish that guy would stop it already.’

'It’s kinda annoying.’

'But his grades are good.’

'He’s cheating, right?’

'Clairvoyance?’

'Ah, that might be true. In elementary school, there was a rumour that he could see ghosts.’

'Seriously?’

'And his eye’s actually red, says the rumours.’

'And his parents are missing.’

'I heard about that. He killed them or something.’

'Murderer.’

– It’s started again.

Sachiko wanted to cover her eyes.

It was Tsukasa and the others. They said awful things loudly on purpose so that Yak.u.mo could hear them. It made sense for Yak.u.mo to want to leave the cla.s.sroom if he was treated this way.

Sachiko felt angry, but unfortunately, she wasn’t brave enough to say it aloud.

She glanced at Yak.u.mo, in the seat beside her.

As if he hadn’t heard the gossip at all, Yak.u.mo was focussed on reading. This was how Yak.u.mo was different from the other students. He didn’t pay any attention to the backbiting cla.s.smates.

– Like an adult.

It was hard to think that he was the same age as Tsukasa, who was clearly showing his ill intent.

'They’re just jealous – don’t pay any attention to them,’ Sachiko told Yak.u.mo.

Yak.u.mo just lifted his head slightly without saying anybody.

He looked at her.

That was enough to make Sachiko’s heart race faster.

– When did I start paying attention to Yak.u.mo?

That thought suddenly came to Sachiko’s mind. She couldn’t remember clearly, but when she noticed, she was already engrossed.

It wasn’t like they had particularly friendly conversations, but just looking at Yak.u.mo was enough to make her happy for the rest of the day.

However, she had never talked about that with anybody.

Even when friends asked her if she had anybody she liked, she told them that she didn’t.

Everyone thought Yak.u.mo was creepy because of all the really irritating rumours about him – that he could see ghosts, that his eye was red, that his parents had abandoned him, that he had killed them.

If Sachiko consulted anybody, she could tell that they would say she was creepy for liking a guy like that.

However, Sachiko knew that there were other hidden Yak.u.mo fans besides herself.

Yak.u.mo was cool, mysterious and had an inexplicable charm.

'Hey, Saitou. I hear you can see ghosts.’

Tsukasa’s voice brought Sachiko back to reality.

When she looked up, she saw that Tsukasa was standing in front of Yak.u.mo. He had his hands on the belt at his waist as he looked down on Yak.u.mo pompously.

– The unpleasant guy’s here.

Sachiko hated Tsukasa. She had a number of reasons.

First, he didn’t wear his uniform properly. His shirt b.u.t.tons were open to his chest, and his necktie hung underneath that. He might have been trying to look rough, but when Tsukasa did it, it was just cla.s.sless.

Furthermore, he always acted high and mighty and said he was good in a fight.

More than anything, Sachiko couldn’t bear how he always picked fights with Yak.u.mo.

'Answer me. Can you really see ghosts?’

Tsukasa spoke quickly as he pressed Yak.u.mo for a reply.

However, Yak.u.mo just stared at his book. He didn’t even lift his head.

'Oi, you listening!?’

Tsukasa flew into a rage and smacked both of his hands on the desk, bringing his face so close to Yak.u.mo’s that their noses were almost touching. He was clearly picking a fight.

'Hey, stop it.’

Sachiko couldn’t bear it – she grabbed Tsukasa’s arm. Tsukasa brushed her hand aside and glared.

'I’m just talking to him.’

'He obviously doesn’t like it.’

'Why are you covering for him?’

'Eh?’

Sachiko was lost for words.

She couldn’t answer that question.

'Do you like him?’

'That’s not it!’

When Tsukasa hit the bull’s-eye, she took it too seriously and spoke in a loud voice.

Everyone turned towards her, and her face grew hot in embarra.s.sment.

'Oi, oi. Do you really like him?’

Tsukasa looked at Sachiko’s face.

– Don’t get so close to me. It’s creepy.

Sachiko leant back, putting as much distance between her and Tsukasa as she could.

'So what if I can see them?’

Somebody interrupted. It was Yak.u.mo.

Tsukasa looked towards Yak.u.mo again.

– Did he cover for me?

'Oh, so you can see them. Then come with me for a bit,’ said Tsukasa.

'For what?’

The complete opposite of Tsukasa, who was speaking threateningly, Yak.u.mo spoke in a flat tone, as if he were reading a book.

'You’ve heard of it, right? The rumour that there’s a ghost at this school.’

Sachiko knew the rumour too.

When night fell, you could hear a creepy crying voice. A male student in the next cla.s.s had made a fuss a while back about how he’d seen a man covered in blood.

'I don’t know it.’

'There’s a rumour like that!’

When Yak.u.mo gave a disinterested tone, Tsukasa was obviously irritated.

'That so.’

'Let me see if you can really see ghosts.’

'And?’

'Tonight, we’re sneaking into the school to have a test of courage.’

'So?’

'You’re coming too,’ said Tsukasa with a smirk.

Sachiko thought it was in bad taste. It puzzled her how he could come up with something so boring.

'Got it.’

Yak.u.mo suddenly looked up and said that quietly.

'Eh?’

Sachiko spoke up without thinking.

She had thought Yak.u.mo would definitely refuse Tsukasa’s invitation.

It wasn’t just Sachiko who was surprised. Even Tsukasa, who had been the one who asked, had his mouth wide open at Yak.u.mo’s unexpected reply.

'Do you need anything else?’ Yak.u.mo said expressionlessly.

Sachiko couldn’t understand why Yak.u.mo had agreed to Tsukasa’s invitation.

'Ah, no… We’re meeting up at eight today at the school gates.’

'Got it.’

Tsukasa gave the instructions in his confusion, and Yak.u.mo gave a short reply.

'Wait, just stop this idiocy.’

Sachiko couldn’t help but interrupt.

Since it was Tsukasa, he would definitely do something mean to Yak.u.mo. Going along with him in such a carefree manner was like jumping into the fire.

'Sachiko. You come too.’

Tsukasa looked at Sachiko.

'Eh?’

When the conversation suddenly turned to her, Sachiko couldn’t understand right away.

'I said, you come too.’

'Me?’

'Yeah. You.’

'No, but…’

– I don’t want to.

It would be easy to refuse, but Sachiko couldn’t reply.

'OK, we’re starting cla.s.s again.’

The door opened, and Akemi came back into the cla.s.sroom.

'You have to come. Don’t run away.’

Tsukasa left those parting words and returned to his own seat.

– The whole thing’s become a bit strange.

Sachiko looked at Yak.u.mo’s profile again.

Though he had well-defined features, he was as expressionless as a machine. She couldn’t tell what he felt or thought at all.

Come to think of it, this was the only expression Sachiko had ever seen Yak.u.mo make.

Perhaps she would be able to see another expression of his by partic.i.p.ating in Tsukasa’s test of courage.

Looking at it a different way, this could be a chance.

Sachiko felt her heart beating more quickly –

3

'd.a.m.n it! He p.i.s.ses me off!’

Gotou, who had returned to his seat, slammed his fists on the desk and then lit a cigarette.

The new chief was called Ideuchi. What the h.e.l.l was he planning? He didn’t know anything about the scene. They wouldn’t be able to investigate with the personnel distributed like hat.

'd.a.m.n it.’

Gotou spat that out again and leant back on his chair, loosening his necktie.

'Don’t make such a fuss.’

Gotou turned around at the thick voice. It was Gotou’s boss, Miyagawa.

Miyagawa had a small frame, but with his bald head and sharp glance, he looked just like a yakuza.

With his hands in his pockets and that stiff expression, it made him look even more so. If he was walking around the street like that, everyone would avoid him.

'What is it?’

'That’s my line. You’re acting like some rebellious brat.’

Miyagawa said that curtly and took a cigarette out of his pocket. He flicked the filter as he bit down on it.

'I’m not really.’

Gotou swallowed his irritation and offered his lighter to Miyagawa.

'You really can’t hide anything.’

Miyagawa looked exasperated as he lit his cigarette.

Gotou couldn’t deny it. He knew himself that his thoughts showed right through in his att.i.tude, just as Miyagawa said.

He’d been in Miyagawa’s care since he was a new recruit, so Miyagawa probably saw that in a more exaggerated fashion than most.

'So what are you so angry about?’ asked Miyagawa, slowly blowing out smoke.

Just earlier, Gotou had been angry enough to flip the table, but he felt himself calming down.

It wasn’t just this time. When he talked with Miyagawa, his mental state would become more stable.

No matter what the situation, it made him feel like things would work out. It might have been because of the absolute trust Gotou had in Miyagawa.

'No, I was just thinking about going on a diet.’

'Don’t talk like you’re asleep. If you’re going to try to fool me, say something better.’

Just as Miyagawa said, Gotou himself felt no persuasive power in what he’d told him.

'That’s right.’

'Well, whatever. Since it’s you, you probably just don’t get along with the new chief.’

Miyagawa could even see through to the type of people Gotou liked and disliked.

Instead of agreeing, Gotou scratched his head and frowned.

'Come with me for a bit.’

'Eh?’

'We’re going.’

Miyagawa ignored Gotou’s confusion and pressed his cigarette into the ashtray. Then, he started walking away briskly.

'Please wait.’

Gotou grabbed the jacket on his chair and hurriedly ran after Miyagawa.

'Where are you going?’

'The investigation, obviously.’

'Investigation?’

'Two men of our age wouldn’t be going for tea. Think about it a bit.’

That really would have been unpleasant, but Gotou still didn’t understand.

'What is the investigation for?’

When Gotou said that, Miyagawa smacked the back of Gotou’s head.

'You’re so noisy!’

Miyagawa glared at him with a click of his tongue.

'But…’

Gotou started speaking, but then Miyagawa slung an arm around Gotou’s shoulders and pulled him close. Then, they continued like that down the corridor.

After looking around to confirm that n.o.body was there, Miyagawa started speaking in a quiet voice.

'There was a tip-off just earlier.’

Though he spoke quietly, the pressure from his voice was still there.

'A tip? What were the contents?’

'The contents aren’t the problem. It’s just a bit strange.’

'Strange?’

Gotou’s expression was dubious.

Miyagawa was a veteran. He’d been on this path for twenty years. He probably wouldn’t be surprised by most things. That Miyagawa was saying it was strange.

Something bad was going to happen. Gotou had that feeling.

'Actually, the person who tipped us off called the detective department directly and even asked for me.’

'Do you have an idea about who it is?’

'I don’t. That’s why I’m concerned.’

It made sense for Miyagawa to think it was strange.

When civilians reported things to the police, they usually chose to call 110 or the consultation window at the local police box.

It’d have been different for a personal informer, but going out of their way to contact the detective department and call out the head there really was strange.

And Miyagawa had no idea who it was –

'Was it a man, or a woman?’

'I don’t know,’ Miyagawa replied immediately.

'What do you mean?’

'It was a voice whatchamacallit.’

'A voice changer?’

'Yes. They changed their voice with that.’

Miyagawa looked peevish as he scratched his neck.

Looked like the person had even used a voice changer to hide their ident.i.ty. They really were concerned –

'So what were the contents?’ asked Gotou, which made Miyagawa look even grimmer.

'Well, the contents were a bit strange too…’

Miyagawa started to speak, but then he saw another investigation member walking down the corridor and shut his mouth.

From that reaction, it looked like he hadn’t told anybody about the tip yet.

'Anyway, let’s move elsewhere and talk.’

Miyagawa said that, hunching over as he started to walk with a quick gait.

4

When Akemi arrived there, it was already seven.

She had left school before five, but she had had to ask a friend to take in her daughter and call a number of people, which made her go past her intended time.

Akemi climbed the slope lined with gingko trees and stopped in front of a temple’s gates. She checked the address once more.

There was no doubt about it. Which meant that his home was a temple –

Akemi was confused as she walked up to the priests’ quarters, ahead of the gravel garden.

She had called ahead of time to say that she would be visiting. Somebody who was probably his father had answered and agreed to it pleasantly.

She was visiting because she thought that perhaps one of the reasons Yak.u.mo had shut off his heart like that was his family environment.

That was why she had been prepared for a refusal. It had been anticlimactic.

She stood in front of the entrance and pressed the doorbell.

After a while, the sliding door opened to reveal a man with a bald head probably in his thirties, wearing a priest’s working clothes.

'Ah, I’ve been waiting,’ he said with a smile.

It was a gentle expression, like Maitreya’s. Akemi felt a sense of deja vu.

– I’ve seen this face before.

Akemi looked at his face. She knew somebody who looked very like him. Should she say something? But she could just be mistaking him for somebody else –

'Is there something on my face?’

He c.o.c.ked his head, like he thought that Akemi’s staring was odd.

'Ah, sorry. I’m the one who called. I’m Yak.u.mo-kun’s homeroom teacher, Takagishi.’

Akemi came back to her senses and hurriedly bowed her head.

This time, he furrowed his brows and peered at Akemi’s face, as if he sensed something.

Finally, he clapped his hands together, like he had come to an understanding.

'Could you be Takagishi Akemi-san?’ he said.

He knew his name. There was no doubt about it. This person was –

'Isshin-san,’ said Akemi, almost jumping up.

Isshin had been Akemi’s tutor when she was in the third year of high school.

Though she had thought something was different since now he had shaved his head bald, now that she remembered, the memories came back to her, as fresh as if they had happened yesterday.

Her heart returned to those times, filling her with bittersweet feelings.

'Ah, this is nostalgic.’

Isshin nodded a number of times.

'It has been a really long time.’

Akemi felt a bit embarra.s.sed by this unexpected reunion and looked down.

'Are your parents well?’ said Isshin with his usual smile.

When Isshin was her tutor, Akemi’s parents had liked him a lot as well. Her mother had even said, 'If you’re going to get a boyfriend, get one like that.’

The truth was that Akemi would have liked to reminisce with her mother too, but that wasn’t possible.

'They died last year in an accident.’

The car that her parents had been in had been hit directly by a truck with a dozing driver. Her father, the driver, had died immediately. Her mother had been unconscious for a week before dying.

It had been a sudden incident right when Akemi had been in sinking spirits, when she had found out she was pregnant.

If her parents had still been healthy and alive, Akemi’s decision might have been very different, but that was only a hypothetical story.

Nothing would start from regret.

'That is.. a terrible loss. I’ve asked something inappropriate.’

Isshin put his hands together and looked down quietly.

'No…’

Akemi shook her head while the events that had happened ran through her head like a revolving lantern. The corners of her eyes felt warm.

'Let’s not just stand and talk; please come inside,’ said Isshin, waving away the solemn atmosphere.

'Ah, yes.’

She hadn’t come here today to talk about herself. Akemi put the current mood behind her.

Isshin invited her into the living room by the entrance.

Akemi knelt on the cushion and had just relaxed when memories from the past came back to her again.

Isshin hadn’t changed at all.

At the time, Isshin had been a university student, but he had had a calm demeanour and tolerance – or attractive force? – back then inappropriate for his age.

It was fun for Akemi to take lessons from Isshin.

She would be fidgety all day on the days Isshin was supposed to come, and she would take care in her hairstyle and clothing.

She tried not to think about why. If she thought about that during her lessons, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to study.

– If I’d told him my feelings then, how would it have gone?

'Sorry.’

Interrupting Akemi’s fantasies, Isshin came back with a tray that had teacups on it.

'Ah, no.’

Akemi looked up.

'It looks like Yak.u.mo went off somewhere right after coming back.’

Isshin placed the tea in front of Akemi and said that with a sigh as he sat down.

'No, it’s fine I wanted to talk with his guardian today.’

She couldn’t let herself drown in nostalgia.

Akemi sat up straight and faced Isshin.

'But you’ve become a teacher, Akemi-chan. I’m surprised,’ said Isshin earnestly. He sipped his tea.

'I was surprised too. I never would have thought that you were Yak.u.mo-kun’s father, Isshin-san.’

Isshin laughed aloud at Akemi’s words.

Akemi didn’t understand why he was laughing.

'Is that something to laugh at?’

'No, I was just thinking that I’m at the age where I would look like that.’

Isshin crossed his arms and nodded.

'Eh…’

'I’m not Yak.u.mo’s real father.’

'Which means…’

A child from his partner’s previous marriage?

Akemi c.o.c.ked her head.

'Though I’m acting as his parent, Yak.u.mo’s not my child. Unfortunately, I’m still single. Well, I am his G.o.dparent,’ said Isshin with hearty laughter.

Now that he said that, it would have been unnatural. Isshin was four years older than Akemi. He was too young to have a fifteen year old child.

'Then…’

– Whose child is he?

'Yak.u.mo is my older sister’s child.’

'Your older sister…’

Isshin nodded.

Why had Isshin taken in his older sister’s child? Akemi was curious, but she felt like she couldn’t ask.

Akemi had things she wouldn’t want other people to ask too.

'So you’ve come about Yak.u.mo today.’

Instead of Akemi, who was lost for words, Isshin brought up the topic at hand.

'Yes.’

'Yak.u.mo’s caused a problem at school then,’ said Isshin.

There was a slight shadow in his expression. The way he said it made it seem like he had been prepared for Yak.u.mo to cause a problem at some time.

'Though it would be exaggerated to call it a problem…’

'What is it?’

'He skips cla.s.s.’

That was Yak.u.mo’s only problem. His grades were good, and he didn’t smoke or act violently.

The previous teacher had told her to leave him along because his actions didn’t cause the school any harm.

'Skips…’

Isshin looked up at the ceiling like he was thinking about something.

To Akemi, Yak.u.mo’s skipping cla.s.s had looked like a sign.

His heart was imbalanced and could break at any moment. He wanted somebody to notice and was asking for help.

It might have just been her own thinking, but she couldn’t abandon those thoughts.

'Yes. He doesn’t do anything besides that, but it looks like he is somewhat depressed. It’s hard to tell what he is thinking…’

It was partly because she was talking to Isshin, but Akemi unexpectedly spoke her feelings directly.

'I don’t know what Yak.u.mo’s thinking either,’ said Isshin, his shoulders slumping.

'Eh?’

'I’ll say this because it’s you, Akemi-chan, but Yak.u.mo’s mother is missing. We don’t know for sure who his father is. That’s why I took him in for now.’

'Missing…?’

Isshin nodded.

'Yak.u.mo’s mother tried to kill him. Fortunately, he was saved by a pa.s.sing police officer, but ever since then, his mother has been missing…’

Akemi couldn’t say anything at all.

Yak.u.mo’s past, much harsher than she had imagined, just made her feel like she was suffocating. It was hard for her to keep her mind steady.

'I’m a man who hasn’t even married. I just lack too much to take a child of that age in…’

'That’s…’

'I don’t want to complain, but the truth is I don’t know how to connect to him.’

After saying that, Isshin shook his head.

The mood was heavy. The silence was so long it was like time had stopped –

'Why?’

Finally, Akemi said just that.

However, Isshin tilted his head. It looked like he didn’t understand the question.

Akemi took a deep breath to strengthen herself and asked again. 'Why did Yak.u.mo-kun’s mother try to kill him?’

When Isshin heard that, he crossed his arms and said, 'Hmm.’ Then, he suddenly looked up.

'It might have been fate for you to become Yak.u.mo’s homeroom teacher, Akemi-chan. I think that people meet the people they are meant to meet. Invisible threads draw people together.’

Fate –

The word Isshin said shook Akemi’s heart.

Meeting Isshin again like this might also not have been a coincidence but some great power drawing them together.

'I’ll tell you what I know to be true. Though I don’t know if you’ll believe me…’

Isshin gave that as a preface before beginning his story.

5

'So what are we investigating?’

Gotou, in the driver seat of the unmarked black sedan, spoke to Miyagawa in the pa.s.senger seat.

'Anyway, just go to the telephone booth at the intersection in Area 2. Right in front of the middle school,’ said Miyagawa, lighting his cigarette.

'The… phone booth?’

Gotou had thought that asking where they were going would help him understand the contents of the investigation, but that had been a wrong guess.

Well, there was no point thinking about it. Gotou stepped on the accelerator.

'Actually, I don’t know the contents either.’

Just as Gotou started driving, Miyagawa said that with a frown.

'You don’t know?’

The unexpected response made Gotou’s voice jump an octave.

A tip-off with unknown contents – thinking about it normally, it just seemed like a prank. He didn’t understand why Miyagawa believed it.

'You look like you’re not happy with this.’

'You can tell?’

Gotou admitted it honestly.

'You’re too straightforward.’

Miyagawa snorted and smiled.

'Is that so?’

'You should think about fitting in more.’

'I’m no good at that,’ replied Gotou with a wry smile.

'You’re the only one who’s going to suffer.’

Miyagawa couldn’t say anything either though. He would always bare his fangs for his subordinates, be it against the chief of the department or the chief of the police.

The higher-ups were frightened of him, thinking of him as a mad dog, while his subordinates looked up to him, thinking of him as an older brother. That was who he was. He just wasn’t good at getting along in the world.

It was the same with this tip.

It wasn’t necessary for the head of the detectives to go out of his way to check something when nothing was clear yet.

But the stupidly straightforward Miyagawa probably couldn’t leave the tip-off to somebody else, when it had been directed at him.

In that meaning, he and Gotou could be called similar.

Though Gotou thought it, he didn’t say it aloud. If he said something strange, a fist would come flying at him.

'So the tip said to go to the telephone booth?’

Gotou brought the conversation back on topic while driving.

'Yeah. Said that there was proof of a crime there.’

'Proof of a crime… Is that whistleblowing then?’

'Probably.’

Miyagawa pressed his cigarette into the ashtray with displeasure.

'But it’s strange for it to be a phone booth. What were they going to do if somebody else found it?’

'Practically n.o.body uses phone booths nowadays.’

Miyagawa leant back on his seat.

What Miyagawa said was true. Mobile phones and PHS[2] had become widespread recently, so public telephones were rarely used.

Because they hadn’t been used for so long, at some train stations, they were starting to take them down.

Back when pagers had been popular, there had been lines at phone booths, and there had been many counterfeit telephone cards – it had even become a societal phenomenon.

With the flow of time, the phone booths had been left behind, so now they could perhaps be considered a perfect place to hide something.

Gotou understood that, but there was still something he didn’t understand. That was –

'I wonder why they contacted you, Miyagawa-san.’

'That’s what I want to know!’ Miyagawa said brusquely, opening the window of the car.

Dry wind came into the car with a roar.

6

Sachiko arrived just in time for their agreed time at the school gates.

The truth was that she had planned on leaving the house earlier, but she hadn’t been able to decide on the clothes she wanted to wear.

She had thought about wearing her favourite miniskirt, but when she stood in front of the mirror, she lost her confidence and ended up just wearing on jeans.

And then, right before she left home, her mother had asked, 'Where are you going?’ It had taken time to come up with an excuse.

In front of the gates, Tsukasa, Tae and Youhei were already gathered.

Tsukasa was leaning against the fence, looking bored, while Tae and Youhei were close together, chatting like lovers.

If Tsukasa weren’t here, it could’ve been a double date –

That wish pressed against Sachiko’s heart as she walked forward.

On the other side of the gates, she saw the white school building standing out in the dark.

The school at night had an unspeakably uncanny atmosphere to it. It felt like the school gates led to another world.

Even though hundreds of people were here during the day, once night fell, n.o.body remained. That gap might have made it even more uncanny.

'Hey.’

Tsukasa noticed Sachiko and raised a hand.

He had his head turned towards the ground as he peered at her. She knew very well how people saw her.

'Where’s Yak.u.mo-kun?’

Sachiko looked around to escape Tsukasa’s gaze.

'Not here yet,’ said Tsukasa with a click of his tongue.

'I see.’

– So he’s not here yet.

She had been hopeful, which made the disappointment greater.

Sachiko’s shoulders slumped as she walked up to the school gates.

'Hey you.’

Tsukasa still had his head turned down as he stood in front of Sachiko.

'What?’

'What’s so good about him?’

Different from his usual ill manners, Tsukasa seemed to be squirming as he said that.

Sachiko didn’t understand the meaning of his question.

'What are you talking about?’

'Well, you… about him… er…’

'Honestly. I don’t understand what you’re saying. Say it clearly.’

Sachiko was angry at Tsukasa’s vague att.i.tude, so she spoke in an unrelenting tone.

'You’re aiming for Saitou, right?’

'What?’

Aiming or not aiming, Sachiko found that phrase discomfiting. Even though she just liked Yak.u.mo with pure feelings, it sounded like she had secret intentions.

Love wasn’t something to be conscious of.

'I can tell even if you hide it,’ said Tsukasa with thin lips.

It looked like he’d taken Sachiko’s words to have a different meeting.

'Honestly, you’re so noisy.’

Sachiko didn’t feel like explaining and ended it there, but Tsukasa continued to speak.

'I don’t understand. He’s gloomy, and you can’t tell what he’s thinking, and I look way cooler.’

Tsukasa brushed back his dyed brown hair.

– I’m better than that guy.

He probably wanted to say that. However, he just had excessive self-confidence. And the shallowness of appealing to his qualities was unbearably unpleasant to Sachiko.

Yak.u.mo definitely wouldn’t do that.

'You’re annoying.’

Sachiko moved her lips to form those words, so that Tsukasa wouldn’t hear.

'That guy’s still not here,’ said Youhei, stretching his arms up above him.

'He isn’t. I wonder when Yak.u.mo-kun will be here?’

Sachiko answered Youhei to escape from Tsukasa.

'Let’s try calling,’ continued Tae.

'Tsukasa. You have a handy-phone?’ said Youhei.

'Can’t get one 'til I’m in high school.’

Tsukasa shrugged.

'Sachiko?’ asked Tae.

'I don’t have one.’

At Sachiko’s home, mobile phones and handy-phones had been put away until after high school entrance exams.

'Youhei, go to the phone booth.’

Tsukasa hit Youhei’s shoulder.

'Eh, what a pain.’

'Just go.’

Tsukasa kicked Youhei’s behind.

'What are you doing?’ complained Youhei, but he didn’t resist any more and started walking.

'He might’ve run,’ said Tsukasa as he watched Youhei leave.

– Yak.u.mo didn’t run.

Sachiko felt like she understood after coming here.

Yak.u.mo wouldn’t give any attention to people like Tsukasa. He’d had no intention of coming in the first place.

– If Yak.u.mo’s not coming, I’ll think of an excuse to leave.

Sachiko looked up at the pale moon in the sky and thought that.

7

The phone booth was underneath the pedestrian bridge.

Normally, Gotou overlooked it as part of the scenery, but because of the tip-off and the dark, it seemed to appear out of the shadows.

'That’s it then.’

Gotou looked at Miyagawa in the pa.s.senger seat.

'Looks like it.’

Miyagawa gave a lazy reply and yawned.

Gotou pa.s.sed the phone booth and parked the car on the side of the road before exiting.

It was a main road with two lanes on each side. There were quite a few cars. However, all of the cars were driving quickly – probably n.o.body would look at the telephone booth.

Gotou continued walking up to the phone booth.

Suspicious-looking advertis.e.m.e.nts were placed all over the gla.s.s, so he couldn’t even see inside.

Just as he put his hand on the door, Gotou’s heart started beating wildly.

– My fate will change drastically the moment I open this door.

A vague and baseless anxiety.

'What’s wrong?’

Miyagawa called out to him from behind. Perhaps he had noticed Gotou’s hesitation.

'If I open it, it won’t go “BANG” or something like that, right?’

It annoyed him to think that his fear had been noticed. Gotou made a joke.

'If that happens, I’ll pick up your bones,’ said Miyagawa with an exasperated expression as he lit his cigarette.

'I’ll be counting on you.’

Gotou smiled back and then turned towards the phone booth again.

He opened the door with vigour, and then a stagnant odour pierced his nose.

There was a familiar green telephone and underneath it, two thick telephone books.

Gotou couldn’t see anything strange at first glance.

'Where’s it hidden?’ mumbled Gotou, beginning to search inside the telephone booth.

He flipped through the phonebook pages, but he couldn’t find anything. Then, he looked at the ceiling.

All he saw was a fluorescent light with a broken cover.

'Is it there?’ said Miyagawa, opening the door.

'I couldn’t find it.’

'How about in the back?’

'The back?’

'The back of the phone.’

Miyagawa gestured at the telephone.

– That’s possible.

Gotou followed Miyagawa’s instruction and stuck his hand in the narrow gap between the booth and the telephone, grappling around.

His fingers touched something.

Gotou pressed his face against the booth to try to look and saw, behind the phone, something like a plastic bag stuck to the booth with tape.

'Is this it…’

Gotou thrust his hand in deeper and managed to touch the plastic bag.

Because of how narrow the place was, his body wouldn’t move the way he wanted to – he couldn’t get it out. After a tough battle, he finally managed to grab the plastic bag.

Inside the plastic bag was an A4-sized manila envelope.

'Got something?’

'Yes.’

Miyagawa peered inside from the entrance with a cigarette in his mouth. Gotou handed the manila envelope to him.

'So this is the info…’

Miyagawa leant against the pillar of the pedestrian bridge and opened the manila envelope, taking out a stack of doc.u.ments.

Gotou picked the dust off his jacket, got out of the phone booth and was about to walk up to Miyagawa, when he suddenly stopped.

He felt someone’s gaze on his back.

– Who is it? 
Gotou’s eyes ran everywhere and spotted a man.

The slender man wore a black suit and was staring down at the phone booth from the pedestrian bridge.

– Could he be the tipper?

'What’s wrong?’

Miyagawa seemed to sense the situation as he spoke quietly.

Gotou signalled with his eyes to look up at the pedestrian bridge. Miyagawa walked up to Gotou and looked up at the bridge.

'How long’s he been there?’ Miyagawa said quietly.

'I don’t know.’

'Going to question him?’

'Yes.’

Right after answering, Gotou started going up the stairs of the pedestrian bridge.

Perhaps noticing that, the man turned around and started walking briskly.

'Oi. Got a minute?’ Gotou called out, after climbing the stairs.

However, the man continued walking at the same pace, like he hadn’t heard.

'You over there! I said to wait!’ Gotou yelled angrily, which made the man suddenly stop and his shoulders jolt, as if he were surprised.

'I want to ask you something.’

Gotou went up to the man and touched his shoulder.

That moment, the man turned around swiftly and knocked Gotou off his feet.

'Agh!’

With that surprise attack, Gotou fell backwards.

The man looked at Gotou’s face.

He smiled, showing his white teeth.

It was a cold smile that chilled Gotou to his core.

Furthermore, both of his eyes glowed red, like a blazing flame –

'What are you doing!?’ yelled Miyagawa, running over.

When the man noticed that, he evaded and ran off in the opposite direction.

'd.a.m.n it!’

– Making fun of me!

Gotou got right up and ran after the man.

8

The fate that Yak.u.mo shouldered, told through Isshin’s mouth, was much darker than what Akemi had imagined.

At the same time, it affirmed many rumours surrounding Yak.u.mo.

The repulsive incident surrounding Yak.u.mo’s birth –

From the moment he was born, his left eye glowed red and had the unique ability, which he never wanted, to see the spirits of the dead.

Because of it, many people thought Yak.u.mo frightening and persecuted him.

People were terribly cold towards those that were different from them. It hurt Akemi’s chest just to imagine how much damage Yak.u.mo’s heart must have suffered.

That wasn’t all. Normally, the mother, who should have protected her child, had tried to murder him.

From the moment Yak.u.mo was born, he had been burdened with many things that he didn’t want.

'I think Yak.u.mo’s lost hope,’ said Isshin with sad eyes.

Yak.u.mo’s face came up in Akemi’s head. As expressionless as a Noh mask, with lifeless eyes.

Until Akemi heard Isshin’s story, Akemi had thought that expression had been from sadness or loneliness.

However, what Yak.u.mo carried was perhaps despair.

When his own mother, who had given birth to him, tried to kill him, Yak.u.mo’s life had been saved, but his heart had died –

Those suffocating thoughts hurt Akemi.

'Why…’

Akemi said just that.

She couldn’t say anything else.

– Why did Yak.u.mo’s mother try to kill him?

Akemi wanted to know why. She wanted there to be some sort of salvation there. She prayed for there to be.

'I don’t know,’ said Isshin, sensing Akemi’s feelings.

'Ah, of course.’

She had disappeared. No matter what reasons he gave, they would only be theories. People’s emotions were known only to themselves.

'I just can’t believe it.’

Isshin shook his head.

'Eh?’

'My sister had been troubled by the circ.u.mstances surrounding Yak.u.mo, but to me, those had seemed like worries about her child’s future.’

'Her child’s future…’

Akemi mulled over those words.

It was true that the same worries could have different implications.

'Yes. My sister had been weak psychologically, but the sister I knew was not somebody who would lay a hand on her child.’

Isshin declared that, but his voice was weak.

He was between a rock and a hard place. Akemi felt that.

His love for his sister. And his love for his nephew, Yak.u.mo.

Isshin held both these feelings, but when he compared the events of the past, it was difficult for both loves to coexist.

Akemi looked down, hesitant to look directly at Isshin.

Drip, drip –

Water dripped onto Akemi’s fists, clenched on her lap.

It took her some time to realise they were her own tears.

– Why am I crying?

Akemi knew that reason best.

She was overlapping Yak.u.mo’s and his mother’s circ.u.mstances with her own.

'Are you all right?’

Isshin handed Akemi a handkerchief.

'Sorry.’

Akemi took it and lifted her head after wiping her face.

– I don’t have the right to cry.

Akemi told herself that to calm her unsteady heart.

Isshin said nothing and just sat there with his usual gentle expression.

Even though it was their reunion after ten years, Akemi felt safe, like he had always been there for her.

Isshin had said he lacked too much to be a father, but Akemi thought it was the opposite.

He had the deep love essential for being a parent.

If Isshin hadn’t been his parent, Yak.u.mo would definitely have fallen inter a deeper darkness than he had now. He might have even lost his life.

Isshin’s existence had managed to stop that.

If Akemi had reunited with Isshin sooner, her own choice might have been different.

When she thought that, words naturally came out of Akemi’s mouth.

'I have a child as well.’

Isshin looked surprised by the sudden change in conversation, but that was just for a moment.

'Oh? How old?’

'A girl who’s just turned ten months.’

'I see. The most blissful years.’

Isshin’s smile was pleasant.

However, Akemi had circ.u.mstances that made it difficult for her to honestly accept the word 'blissful’.

'That isn’t true.’

'Isn’t true?’

'Actually, this child doesn’t have a father.’

'Is that so?’

Isshin’s gentle expression didn’t change.

No matter how tough, painful or sad it was, he would forgive everything.

Isshin’s heart was that wide.

Akemi started speaking falteringly, as if giving up the chains that had bound her heart.

'Actually, this child was born from rape.’

Just saying it was enough to revive her fear. Her fingers started shaking.

In her head, that man’s face came up again.

Even though the good memories had finally faded away, the horror was vivid no matter how much time pa.s.sed.

She still couldn’t forget that man’s eyes.

'Is that so?’

'The culprit hasn’t been caught.’

By saying for the first time something she had always kept hidden, she felt like her pain was a bit lessened.

Akemi, who had felt the same thing, could understand slightly the pain of Yak.u.mo’s mother.

'Do you hate him?’ said Isshin, his expression still the same.

'Yes.’

Akemi nodded.

She still hated the culprit now. Even if the culprit were caught and punished, that hatred wouldn’t disappear.

Akemi didn’t know if the culprit chose Akemi as his target by coincidence or for some reason.

However, it was a fact that the rest of her life had been ruined because of it.

'Do you think that you hate your child?’ said Isshin quietly.

'I…’

Akemi was lost for words.

Two conflicting thoughts fought in her heart.

'You’ve thought that you hate her,’ said Isshin, seeing through Akemi’s heart.

In front of Isshin, no matter what she said, the truth of her heart would be revealed.

'I have.’

Though Akemi responded herself, she shook at how awful those words were.

However, they were fact.

Though it wasn’t always, when she looked at her child’s face, she would sometimes remember that incident. That child was her child, but she was also that man’s child.

She overlapped her child’s face with that man’s face. Her child was not at fault. She knew that. But –

She had thought that Isshin would scorn her, but he nodded with his usual gentle expression, like he understood.

That was enough to make Akemi feel like she had been saved.

Isshin had an open heart that accepted other’s negative emotions.

'Then you love her, yes?’

After a silence, Isshin asked another question.

'Of course.’

Akemi gave a big nod.

That was no lie.

– No matter what, I’ll protect her.

She had that strong feeling at the bottom of her heart.

Two conflicting emotions.

Akemi felt anew how she was standing on top of a large contradiction.

'I’m glad to hear it.’

Isshin smiled pleasantly, showing his teeth.

'But I’m a failure as a parent for thinking even once that I hate my child…’

Akemi looked down, realising how awful she was when she said it.

I need to be strong for my child – even though she thought that, at times, she was incredibly weak.

'But Akemi-chan, your child is alive.’

Isshin said those words with force, which made Akemi look up in surprise.

'Yes.’

'And Yak.u.mo’s alive. That is fact. No matter what the past is or how you feel, your child is alive now and will continue to live.’

'Continue to live…’

'That’s right. Let’s think about what we can do for those children. Together.’

Isshin’s words sank deep into the corners of Akemi’s heart.

Now that she thought about it, it was obvious. However, cornered by the burdens of life, she had forgotten the obvious.

'We might have both become parents without wanting to, but that isn’t the fault of our children. Nothing will start if we just look down.’

Akemi felt like there was a line of light in front of her, when she had been in pitch-black darkness before.

Though she had come here originally to find out about Yak.u.mo’s family environment, the situation had turned around before she noticed.

This was blatantly advice for Akemi.

However, she had found out some things.

Yak.u.mo was living with a heavy burden on his small heart.

He had Isshin’s deep love and had managed to keep on, but he would break if his balance faltered even slightly.

Just as the conversation came to a lull, the phone rang.

Isshin said, 'Please wait,’ and then he stood up from his seat.

Akemi slowly swallowed Isshin’s words. Each time she thought about them, the warmth spread within her.

Isshin hadn’t changed at all since ten years ago.

When Akemi looked at Isshin, she always became defenceless. Isshin always overcame the boundaries that people put up with ease.

It wasn’t frightening.

It was pleasant, like being wrapped up in a fluffy blanket.

While Akemi was thinking about that, Isshin came back. He looked somewhat dissatisfied.

'What is it?’ asked Akemi.

'Is there some sort of event at school tonight?’

Isshin c.o.c.ked his head.

There shouldn’t have been any events. If there had been, Akemi wouldn’t have come here.

'What do you mean?’

'Ah, there was a call from Youhei-kun, a kid in Yak.u.mo’s cla.s.s. He said that he was waiting for Yak.u.mo at the school, but he wasn’t there yet…’

'They can’t have really gone!’

Akemi stood up as she exclaimed.

'Do you have any ideas?’

'Those kids.’

She had an idea.

After she brought Yak.u.mo back today, she had heard Tsukasa and the others talking in the cla.s.sroom. She had thought it was just talk and left it alone, but it looked like that hadn’t been the case.

Akemi picked up her pack and quickly prepared to leave.

'What’s wrong?’

'Those kids are definitely planning a test of courage.’

'A test of courage?’

'Yes.’

'In this season?’

Just as Isshin said, it was the wrong season. However, that wasn’t the problem right now.

'I heard a number of students planning to take Yak.u.mo-kun to the school for a test of courage. I thought it was a joke – students always make plans like that.’

Isshin responded to Akemi’s hurried speech with a nod.

'Akemi-chan, are you planning to go there now?’

'Yes. It would be troublesome if a problem comes up…’

'Then I’ll go with you,’ said Isshin with a smile.

'Eh?’

'Yak.u.mo might be involved.’

'Yes…’

'Then I can’t leave the situation alone.’

What Isshin said made sense.

'But…’

'And it would be dangerous for a woman to walk by herself.’

Isshin finished the conversation and left the room ahead of Akemi.

9

Yak.u.mo was hunched over, looking at his feet as he walked.

It was already dark.

He hadn’t planned on going to the test of courage that his cla.s.smate had incited in the first place.

If he stayed at home, there was the possibility that he would be called out by phone. He left the house to avoid any complications.

Tests of courage were just a joke.

They didn’t know what ghosts really were.

If they knew, they was no way they would think up something as stupid as a test of courage.

Ghosts were cl.u.s.ters of people’s emotions.

To put it another way, they were raw, exposed emotion.

It was much more painful than others imagined to be involved with that daily.

'How stupid,’ muttered Yak.u.mo, quickening his pace.

It wasn’t that he had a goal.

He was looking for somewhere he could be.

Narrow roads, riverbeds, high ground – Yak.u.mo didn’t think he had any place anywhere.

However, if he stayed in one place, it would destroy him.

Finally, as he reached a small park, he stopped.

Creak, creak.

The wind shook the swing. The sound of the rusted metal echoed.

Coming and going without a destination –

Just like him right now.

Yak.u.mo smiled self-derisively and walked up to the swing.

– Can I be here?

He asked that in his heart, but there was no reply.

Creak, creak.

Yak.u.mo sat on the swing.

Ever since his mother tried to kill him, Yak.u.mo had kept asking himself that.

His