Shakespeare's First Folio Part 184

Beg. 'Tis a verie excellent peece of worke, Madame Ladie: would 'twere done.

They sit and marke.

Enter Petruchio, and his man Grumio.

Petr. Verona, for a while I take my leaue, To see my friends in Padua; but of all My best beloued and approued friend Hortensio: & I trow this is his house: Heere sirra Grumio, knocke I say

Gru. Knocke sir? whom should I knocke? Is there any man ha's rebus'd your worship?

Petr. Villaine I say, knocke me heere soundly

Gru. Knocke you heere sir? Why sir, what am I sir, that I should knocke you heere sir

Petr. Villaine I say, knocke me at this gate, And rap me well, or Ile knocke your knaues pate

Gru. My Mr is growne quarrelsome: I should knocke you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst

Petr. Will it not be?

'Faith sirrah, and you'l not knocke, Ile ring it, Ile trie how you can Sol, Fa, and sing it.

He rings him by the eares

Gru. Helpe mistris helpe, my master is mad

Petr. Now knocke when I bid you: sirrah villaine.

Enter Hortensio.

Hor. How now, what's the matter? My olde friend Grumio, and my good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?

Petr. Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?

Contutti le core bene trobatto, may I say

Hor. Alla nostra casa bene venuto multo honorata signior mio Petruchio.

Rise Grumio rise, we will compound this quarrell

Gru. Nay 'tis no matter sir, what he leges in Latine.

If this be not a lawfull cause for me to leaue his seruice, looke you sir: He bid me knocke him, & rap him soundly sir. Well, was it fit for a seruant to vse his master so, being perhaps (for ought I see) two and thirty, a peepe out? Whom would to G.o.d I had well knockt at first, then had not Grumio come by the worst

Petr. A sencelesse villaine: good Hortensio, I bad the rascall knocke vpon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it

Gru. Knocke at the gate? O heauens: spake you not these words plaine? Sirra, Knocke me heere: rappe me heere: knocke me well, and knocke me soundly? And come you now with knocking at the gate?

Petr. Sirra be gone, or talke not I aduise you

Hor. Petruchio patience, I am Grumio's pledge: Why this a heauie chance twixt him and you, Your ancient trustie pleasant seruant Grumio: And tell me now (sweet friend) what happie gale Blowes you to Padua heere, from old Verona?

Petr. Such wind as scatters yongmen throgh y world, To seeke their fortunes farther then at home, Where small experience growes but in a few.

Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me, Antonio my father is deceast, And I haue thrust my selfe into this maze, Happily to wiue and thriue, as best I may: Crownes in my purse I haue, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world

Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee, And wish thee to a shrew'd ill-fauour'd wife?

Thou'dst thanke me but a little for my counsell: And yet Ile promise thee she shall be rich, And verie rich: but th'art too much my friend, And Ile not wish thee to her

Petr. Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as wee, Few words suffice: and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife: (As wealth is burthen of my woing dance) Be she as foule as was Florentius Loue, As old as Sibell, and as curst and shrow'd As Socrates Zentippe, or a worse: She moues me not, or not remoues at least Affections edge in me. Were she is as rough As are the swelling Adriaticke seas.

I come to wiue it wealthily in Padua: If wealthily, then happily in Padua

Gru. Nay looke you sir, hee tels you flatly what his minde is: why giue him Gold enough, and marrie him to a Puppet or an Aglet babie, or an old trot with ne're a tooth in her head, though she haue as manie diseases as two and fiftie horses. Why nothing comes amisse, so monie comes withall

Hor. Petruchio, since we are stept thus farre in, I will continue that I broach'd in iest, I can Petruchio helpe thee to a wife With wealth enough, and yong and beautious, Brought vp as best becomes a Gentlewoman.

Her onely fault, and that is faults enough, Is, that she is intollerable curst, And shrow'd, and froward, so beyond all measure, That were my state farre worser then it is, I would not wed her for a mine of Gold

Petr. Hortensio peace: thou knowst not golds effect, Tell me her fathers name, and 'tis enough: For I will boord her, though she chide as loud As thunder, when the clouds in Autumne cracke

Hor. Her father is Baptista Minola, An affable and courteous Gentleman, Her name is Katherina Minola, Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue

Petr. I know her father, though I know not her, And he knew my deceased father well: I wil not sleepe Hortensio til I see her, And therefore let me be thus bold with you, To giue you ouer at this first encounter, Vnlesse you wil accompanie me thither

Gru . I pray you Sir let him go while the humor lasts.

A my word, and she knew him as wel as I do, she would thinke scolding would doe little good vpon him. Shee may perhaps call him halfe a score Knaues, or so: Why that's nothing; and he begin once, hee'l raile in his rope trickes. Ile tell you what sir, and she stand him but a litle, he wil throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure hir with it, that shee shal haue no more eies to see withall then a Cat: you know him not sir

Hor. Tarrie Petruchio, I must go with thee, For in Baptistas keepe my treasure is: He hath the Iewel of my life in hold, His yongest daughter, beautiful Bianca, And her with-holds from me. Other more Suters to her, and riuals in my Loue: Supposing it a thing impossible, For those defects I haue before rehearst, That euer Katherina wil be woo'd: Therefore this order hath Baptista tane, That none shal haue accesse vnto Bianca, Til Katherine the Curst, haue got a husband

Gru. Katherine the curst, A t.i.tle for a maide, of all t.i.tles the worst

Hor. Now shal my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me disguis'd in sober robes, To old Baptista as a schoole-master Well seene in Musicke, to instruct Bianca, That so I may by this deuice at least Haue leaue and leisure to make loue to her, And vnsuspected court her by her selfe.

Enter Gremio and Lucentio disguised.

Gru. Heere's no knauerie. See, to beguile the olde-folkes, how the young folkes lay their heads together.

Master, master, looke about you: Who goes there? ha

Hor. Peace Grumio, it is the riuall of my Loue.

Petruchio stand by a while

Grumio. A proper stripling, and an amorous

Gremio. O very well, I haue perus'd the note: Hearke you sir, Ile haue them verie fairely bound, All bookes of Loue, see that at any hand, And see you reade no other Lectures to her: You vnderstand me. Ouer and beside Signior Baptistas liberalitie, Ile mend it with a Largesse. Take your paper too, And let me haue them verie wel perfum'd; For she is sweeter then perfume it selfe To whom they go to: what wil you reade to her

Luc. What ere I reade to her, Ile pleade for you, As for my patron, stand you so a.s.sur'd, As firmely as your selfe were still in place, Yea and perhaps with more successefull words Then you; vnlesse you were a scholler sir

Gre. Oh this learning, what a thing it is

Gru. Oh this Woodc.o.c.ke, what an a.s.se it is

Petru. Peace sirra

Hor. Grumio mum: G.o.d saue you signior Gremio

Gre. And you are wel met, Signior Hortensio.

Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola, I promist to enquire carefully About a schoolemaster for the faire Bianca, And by good fortune I haue lighted well On this yong man: For learning and behauiour Fit for her turne, well read in Poetrie And other bookes, good ones, I warrant ye

Hor. 'Tis well: and I haue met a Gentleman Hath promist me to helpe one to another, A fine Musitian to instruct our Mistris, So shal I no whit be behinde in dutie To faire Bianca, so beloued of me

Gre. Beloued of me, and that my deeds shal proue