Shadowborn - Captivity Part 7

His last words were on the dry side, as was his glance in my direction. He hadn't enjoyed my calling him a barbarian, and was trying to make me feel ashamed."Oh, good, another prince," I remarked, wanting him to see how much good his attempt at shaming had done. "Just what we needed around here."

"Prince Ijarin isn't just another prince," Fearin corrected mildly while the barbarian looked at me with no amus.e.m.e.nt whatsoever. "He's a Crown Prince, and if I'm not mistaken also a follower of the G.o.ddess Istiel. I've heard that those dedicated to Istiel are invisible to other G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses. Do you know if that's true, Prince Ijarin?"

"It's what I've been told," the barbarian said with a shrug. "Since I've never spoken to any other G.o.ds or G.o.ddesses I can't confirm or deny it. And yes, I am dedicated to Istiel."

"Well, then let me present you to the others of our group," Fearin said with a very suspicious heartiness. "After that you'll have to excuse us while we confer about the conquest we just made, but you'll be welcome to join us for dinner tonight. If you don't need to leave immediately, that is."

"No, I have no immediate plans," he answered with a bland smile that wasn't quite sent in my direction. "Dinner tonight with all of you will be fine."

"Good," Fearin said, then he took a moment to direct a drying spell toward Ranander and me as well as our new guest before beginning the introductions with Lokkel. The Healing Master sat in a chair between Talasin and Garam, who were introduced together to avoid any damaged feelings. Ranander came after those two and then Fearin himself. I, who of all of them should have been left out of it, was dragged in last. The barbarian had been very cool and formal with Garam, but didn't seem interested in treating me the same.

"So you're a Kenoss," he said with brows raised, but no sense of surprise in those very blue eyes. "That explains a lot of things. Looking at you, I wouldn't have guessed."

"There are a lot of things about me it isn't possible to guess by looking," I said, drawing my now-dry and mudless feet up to the left in my chair. "A wise man would understand he would be wasting his time trying."

"I'm told that wisdom comes with age," he returned, giving me a polite smile. "I guess I'll just have to wait. And speaking of waiting, Master Fearin, do you have some place for me to wait while you and the others confer?"

"I'll have some of the guards take you to an empty apartment," Fearin responded at once, gesturing toward the door his guest had come in by. "If you need anything, just let one of them know."

The barbarian nodded to the rest of us before going along with Fearin, and we didn't have to wait long before the man of Power was back. He returned with a deep thoughtfulness to his expression and stride, and finally looked up to find us all staring at him.

"You seem to have proved he can't be one of us," Garam said for the entire group, working to sound moderately polite. "If you're keeping him around because you want a pet, I've always found dogs to be superior to barbarians."

"He has a tie here that could very well make him extremely useful to us," Fearin said with faint distraction. "I'll have to find out if my feelings are in line with what's wanted, but I don't expect to be disagreed with. If he joins us for reasons of his own, his being invisible in the sight of all G.o.ds but his own could be worked to our definite advantage."

"But only if that tie encourages him to stay, something she won't be doing," I said, annoyed enough to make the statement in front of everyone. "I don't like him and I don't want him anywhere near me."

"If someone else disagrees with you, you'll have to learn to like him," Fearin said, all distraction gone from the blue eyes that held to me. "And there's something more to this, something you aren't mentioning. Why is he being so persistent? Does he imagine himself in love with you?"

"Hardly," I said to the accompaniment of Garam's snort of ridiculing laughter. "I'm not the sort to inspire men to feelings like that. Other feelings, yes; that sort, no."

"Then why did he tell me you're looking too gaunt to be really healthy?" Fearin countered."He said he'd take it as a personal favor if I was able to fatten you up a little."

"The answer's perfectly obvious," I said, keeping my expression straight. "He has a weakness for fat women, and hopes that once you make me one he'll then fall in love with me. Barbarians are like that, I understand."

"That's very amusing," Fearin said, showing nothing of amus.e.m.e.nt himself while ignoring the chuckling from most of the others. "You're saying you don't know why he's here, and have no interest or intention of finding out. I'll be checking that point later on as well, and if someone else wants you to find out I think you will."

Having threatened me with Diin-tha I thought Fearin was finally ready to get on with our reason for being together, but I was wrong.

"And since we're on the subject, I'm told that Prince Ijarin isn't the only one to notice how badly you're doing with eating," Fearin continued. "I want to see you fill up a plate and start eating, and I want to see you do it now."

"Do you," I said, beginning to get really angry, but then a thought occurred to me. A want for a want ought to work, and then the waiting would be over. "Well, I'm prepared to do just as you asked - if I first have your word that at the end of this meeting everyone will be told exactly what happened last night in the Guest Pavilion. Do we have a deal?"

He hesitated as he studied me, thoughts chasing each other around behind his eyes, and then he nodded.

"All right, it's a deal," he agreed. "You have my word, so the next thing you'll have is a meal.

Do it now, so we can get on with this meeting."

He actually waited until I got up, filled a plate with the still-fresh food, and then returned to my chair. The others were watching us both with interest, curiosity, and lack of understanding, but no one said or asked anything. They seemed to feel they could wait, and didn't yet know how right they were.

As soon as I was seated again Fearin began to talk about what had already been done in the city, and then he got to what still needed doing. In two days half our troops would be started off early toward our next objective, and later on the rest of us would follow. The city and its people had to be a settled issue by then, no excuses and no mistakes.

I let the talk swirl around me without really listening, giving most of my attention to the food I was actually almost enjoying. In a very short while everyone would know the truth about me, and then all the friendliness and concern would be over. I would be back to the position I was destined to be in for the rest of my life, and that would be that.

"... have Ranander examine them first thing tomorrow," Fearin was saying to Talasin as I put my emptied plate aside. "As soon as he tells you a group of men are being truthful about their willingness to be loyal to us, have them moved out of confinement and merged into our army.

They'll march with the first group, and no more than three of them will be a.s.signed together."

Talasin nodded without looking up, his hands and eyes busy with the notes he made on a rough piece of paper with a cloth-covered bit of charcoal. Garam also had notes which he was already studying, but Ranander and Lokkel had none. When Fearin had said something to Lokkel about healing those of the city we needed for a specific purpose, Lokkel had simply nodded.

"All right, that should cover it for now," Fearin said, turning away from Talasin. All the rest of us were sitting but the High Master had stayed on his feet. "Tomorrow I'll need your services, Aelana, or sooner if the rain should stop. One of the Chief Administrator's people escaped our net, and has to be hiding in the city. I need that man, so you'll have to find him."

I took my own turn at nodding, realizing that Fearin had done some research into my abilities as he'd said he would. Once the rain stopped I should be able to find his fugitive, and that no matter where the man was hiding.

"Wouldn't it be more effective if I a.s.signed men to quarter the city in a regular search pattern?" Garam asked, back to frowning at me. "As a former slave she may know most of the bolt holes there are, but we have no guarantee the man is in one of them. After all, he wasn't aslave."

"That has nothing to do with why Aelana will be the one leading the search," Fearin answered, finally going to an empty chair to Garam's left and my right and dropping into it. Ranander now sat between us, and was suddenly paying even more attention than he had been. "It has to do with Aelana's abilities, which it now seems time to discuss. I'll want some of your men going with her, Prince Garam, but she'll be in charge."

Garam nodded automatically, his frown still with him, his eyes, like everyone else's, directly on me. It was finally time, and I suddenly wished Fearin would hurry up and get it over with.

"I'm sure you heard it mentioned at our last gathering that Aelana is Shadowborn," Fearin said, apparently more than ready to grant my wish. "Even I didn't know precisely what that meant, but ever since I've been finding out. A little here, a little there... "

He let the words trail off very briefly, making me think he'd changed his mind, but he was apparently only taking some care in choosing his next words.

"I still don't know anything like all of it, but here's what I've gotten so far," he went on after the short pause. "There are a people called the Inadni, who centuries ago began to a.s.sociate themselves with the Kenossi. All Kenossi young are called Life Seekers, and they're trained from infancy to compete against one another for the privilege of life. They're tested every year at a different level, and those who haven't learned their lessons well enough don't survive the testing. At p.u.b.erty the children take the hardest test of all, and if they survive they're accepted as adult Kenossi and allowed to reproduce themselves."

Talasin and Lokkel looked at me as though needing verification of what had been said, but I didn't understand why. Fearin had been accurate enough in his summation, even though he hadn't told it all.

"At the p.u.b.erty rites is where the Inadni come in," Fearin went on. "Once a year they choose three Kenoss youths and take them away to be trained as Shadowborn. What happens to the chosen ones after their training isn't known, but the three are always from among the best of the winners. In her own year of winning, Aelana was chosen."

"I thought I heard somewhere that only men are chosen," Garam said, frowning in an effort to recapture the memory. "No one seems to know more about it than that - except for all sorts of unbelievable rumors - but that part was certain even though where the men came from wasn't."

"I understand that Aelana is the only exception to that," Fearin said with a nod. "She tells me no one knows why she was chosen, and the Inadni didn't bother to enlighten anyone. She stayed with it until she'd reached the twenty-fourth level, and then she turned her back and walked away. The Inadni apparently couldn't stop her, but the G.o.d Bellid wasn't pleased. That's why she ended up as a slave and had so much trouble escaping."

"You're still not telling them about last night," I said, ignoring the knowing looks I was getting from the others. They all understood what it meant to have a G.o.d angry with you - or thought they did.

"I'm getting to last night," Fearin said with forced patience, barely glancing at me. "They have to hear the background first, to understand why you were a.s.signed to the protection of the girls. I could have put men at that door, but it wouldn't have been the same."

"I still don't understand why not," Garam said, questioning rather than arguing. "A dozen men should have guaranteed success a lot more thoroughly than a single girl."

"A single Shadowborn who, legend has it, is worth more than a dozen men," Fearin corrected.

"Shadowborn are given the Learning, which lets them change from what they are into whatever they must be. Some of you may have heard that five men tried to get past Aelana last night, four of them armored, all of them armed. I have no doubt that they really did try, but none of them lived long enough to do it. Their bodies were still there when our own men reached the Pavilion to relieve Aelana."

"There's been some whispering among the men about that," Talasin said, curiosity in the comment. "No one would tell me the details involved, and I decided not to upset them more bypressing. Is that the reason the guard obeyed you earlier, Aelana?"

"That's the reason," Fearin said, answering for me. "They had to call me to get Aelana away from the door, and even I had to ask for help from our Guardian. At that point she was no longer Aelana, only a Shadowborn, and if we'd tried to go past her she would have done to us what she'd previously done to the enemy."

"Which was what?" Garam asked, the words very neutral. "All she had in the way of weapons was a dagger. How hard is it to get past one fighter with a dagger?"

"Aelana had the dagger," Fearin said with a sigh. "The Shadowborn used her dagger, then went to teeth and claws when the dagger was temporarily lost. When I got there there was a deep darkness surrounding the Shadowborn, and nothing could be seen of her but two red, glowing eyes. The bodies of her first kills were scattered on the floor in front of her, torn and b.l.o.o.d.y sacrifices to the skill of a Shadowborn. I doubt if even our Guardian could have made any of our men try that skill a second time."

"Which doesn't mean they're cowards," Garam said, understanding Fearin had included himself in on that statement. "It means they're smart enough not to go up against something they haven't a prayer of besting. You know, I wish I'd been told about this sooner. Special tactics designed around a Shadowborn can be the prettiest set of plans you'd want to see. And I knew she wasn't just another female. Didn't I tell you that, Talasin?"

"You certainly did, Garam," Talasin answered, rubbing his lips to hide a smile. Garam was now looking at me with the strangest expression, a mixture of pride and extreme satisfaction and possessiveness and - almost attraction. "But let's not forget I was the one who pulled her from the stream. That has to be at least as important, if not more so."

"But I made friends with her first," Ranander chimed in, not even glancing at the frown I could feel myself wearing. "And she even likes me, even though she won't admit it."

"What is the matter with all of you?" I burst out, looking from one to the other of those three idiots. "Don't you understand what Fearin is telling you? Having a Shadowborn in your midst means no one is safe, not even him! You all sound as though you think this is a game of some kind!"

"We don't play games during a campaign, and I have no worries about my safety," Fearin himself answered, sounding just as casual as the other three had. "The Shadowborn is only one part of you, and not the part we a.s.sociate with on a regular basis. That means there's nothing for any of us to worry about."

"No, that means you still don't understand what Shadowborn is about," I came back, looking at him with all the exasperation I was filled with. "It isn't just a single part of me, it colors everything I see and do. I hate it more than I've hated anything in my entire life, but there are times when I can't resist the draw of it, the need to merge with the Learning and use it. People die horribly when I do that, but I still can't stop myself."

"You seem to think that makes you totally different from the rest of us," Talasin put in, drawing my attention from Fearin. By that time I noticed I was on my feet, glaring around at that bunch of fools. "If you believe this company is made up of the sweetly innocent, you're the one who doesn't understand. Do you have any idea how many men died last night, simply because I led the attack against this city?"

"And how many more went because I gave the word?" Garam added in agreement, his dark eyes unmoving from my face. "I was busy last night removing certain key military commanders, the ones who knew what they were doing and could therefore have given us trouble. The ones I missed last night I took care of this morning, just to be certain they don't start trouble among the prisoners."

"And something of the same can be said for the rest of us as well," Fearin contributed to close the circle. "Ranander went through the civilian population and culled any man or woman he knew would make trouble for us. We put them together and sold them as slaves. Master Lokkel cast a protective health spell around all of us, designed to bounce back any sickness orwithering spell onto the one who cast it. How many lesser Healing Masters were caught by that, Lokkel?"

"More than half a dozen, I'm told," the Healing Master answered, looking very pleased.

"They had no idea I was guarding our well-being, otherwise they probably wouldn't have tried that way of saving the city."

"I'm sure of it," Fearin said very neutrally, his gaze once again returned to me. "And if anyone understands the lure of your Learning, it has to be me. Have you any idea how much Power I have at my command, and how tempting is the thought of using that Power for my own satisfaction? If I decided to disapprove of something, no one around me would be able to do that something. If I thought something was a really good idea, everyone would have to do it.

Power of any sort is a temptation to the one who has it; maintaining moderation is the only indication of true strength."

"But what if your strength isn't up to it?" I countered, even more upset than I had been. "What if you fight with everything you've got, and it isn't enough? I worked hard to acquire the Learning and the skills that go with it, experienced satisfaction with each successfully completed level. There's a part of me that enjoys the thought of using what I've learned... A part that shows itself when I least expect it... What if I lose the fight at the wrong time and one or more of you dies?"

Even as I said the words I could feel the black tide lapping at my mind, hear the siren song calling me to submerge in the blood-warm waters. A Shadowborn never worried about not having enough strength; endless strength and power were there, and satisfaction, that ultimate, unmatchable satisfaction...

"Aelana, no!" Fearin said sharply, his hands suddenly on my arms. "You don't have to give into it, and you don't want to! Remember that, you don't want to!"

I took a very deep, very ragged breath as I realized he'd pulled me out of it, and then there were other hands on me, all guiding me backward to my chair. Voices fought with one another, trying to demand if I was all right, and then Ranander was there with a cup of steaming broth, meant to chase away the bone-deep cold.

"I've never seen anything like that," Garam's voice came through, as excited as a child at the fair. "It was starting to get dark around her, black instead of the blue of magic... "

"And she was fading into that black," Talasin said, the words thoughtful and interested. "I wonder if it was really happening or if we just saw it like that... "

"That's right, get some of that broth into you," Fearin said, his hand gently brushing back my hair. "And that should prove whether or not you have the strength to hold it off. It went so far your eyes were starting to glow red, but you pushed it away and didn't let it happen."

"But I didn't do it alone," I told him shakily, looking up to see those blue eyes directly on me.

"What you said helped me pull out of it, otherwise I would have been taken. What about the next time, or the one after that...?"

"I'll still be here," he interrupted, refusing to look away. "Any time you need my help, it's yours for the asking. You can handle it yourself most of the time, but any time you can't - "

"You just ask him," Ranander put in from my right with all the confidence in the world. "Fearin is there for all of us, and since you're one of us he'll be there for you too. Isn't that right, High Master?"

"Yes. Of course. Absolutely right." Fearin was agreeing with Ranander, but for some reason he was also giving the other man something of a dirty look. "I appreciate your confidence and your support of me, Ranander, but I can speak for myself. And I wanted to add-"

"I wonder if I could help," Talasin said, interrupting without realizing it. "If a time comes when Fearin isn't around, Aelana, look for me instead and we'll give it a try. You shouldn't have to fight like that all alone, so-"

"So she can also try me," Garam stated, interrupting in his turn, but not only Talasin. Fearin had opened his mouth again, but not soon enough. "When it comes to fighting, I'm the one withthe most experience. Not to mention the fact that she and I understand each other-"

"There may well be a healing spell that would be of a.s.sistance," Lokkel put in with a finger to his lips, his gaze distracted. "I'll certainly need to consult my books, and then - "

"And don't forget friendship," Ranander said very firmly. "Friendship is one of the strongest forces there is, so if anyone can be of help I certainly - "

"All right, enough!" Fearin shouted, ending the babble that was making me dizzy. "I know you're all offering to help, but you're driving the girl into a corner with your suggestions. Are you all right, Aelana?"

Since I had no idea I shook my head vaguely at him, put aside the half-finished broth, then simply got out of there.

Chapter 9.

I went back to the apartment I'd been given, chased away the servants who showed up wanting to do things for me, then sat down to watch the rain. One corner of the second outer room was like the porch room I'd come from, two windows at the angle that were totally open with only an overhang keeping the rain out. The rest of the apartment was stuffy even with the drapes pulled back, and I couldn't seem to breathe well...

I took a deep breath of the rain-laden, cooler air coming from the windows, and for the tenth time tried to understand what had happened. Fearin had told them all what I was, they had almost seen it happen in front of their eyes, and they still refused to react the way everyone else had. Even the people who had never seen...

"They have to be crazy," I muttered for the twentieth time, shifting on the wide lounge seat I had chosen to stretch out on. The thing was covered in silk rather than with leather, which made it both comfortable and uncomfortable to lie on. Silk is fine when you hang it on walls where it can't be torn or dirtied; sitting on it, though...

"They have to be crazy." I said it again because the statement was so obviously true, but I still couldn't understand. Why were they so crazy that they seemed willing to accept me, and when would it stop? How many times would the light appear and disappear before they suddenly came to their senses?

"Well, I'm glad to see you were given a very pleasant apartment," a voice suddenly said, and I didn't have to turn to know it was Fearin. "It's bright and elegant even in the dimness of a rainy day, and this chamber seems made for comfortable conversations. Are you feeling any better now?"

"No," I answered, still staring out at the rain. "As a matter of fact I'm feeling worse."

"I think everyone understands now why you just ran out like that," he said, coming around to where I could see him. "You were expecting fear and hatred from us, and when it didn't come you were caught off balance. Do you understand yet why the fear and hatred didn't come?"

"Of course," I said with a shrug. "The bunch of you are crazy. No one but crazy people would offer welcome and fellowship to a - a - "

"Shadowborn," he finished when I couldn't find quite the appropriate word, those blue eyes looking down at me soberly. "But that's where you're making your mistake. The one who was offered welcome and fellowship was Aelana, someone who doesn't make excuses or complain about how hard it is for her. All she does is accept whatever task is a.s.signed her, and then she goes ahead and does it. Prince Garam was the one most impressed by that."

"He seems to have forgotten I didn't volunteer to be one of you," I said, sliding down a little on the silk as I looked away from him. "If complaining or making excuses could get me loose, I'd complain and make excuses."

"I doubt that," Fearin said with a small sound of ridicule. "But you might remember that others don't keep from complaining simply because it does no good. They indulge anyway, in theprocess driving everyone crazy. We appreciate having your silent a.s.sistance and wanted you to know it."

"What you mean is you think you appreciate it," I corrected, still looking at the rain rather than at him. "That should last until something happens to turn all your stomachs, or I still lose it in spite of all the help I've been offered. If you don't mind, I'd rather not wait for one of those things to happen. Thank the rest of them for their good intentions, but tell them I pa.s.s."

"You'd rather have them ignoring or abusing you than being friendly," he interpreted, a flatness to the statement. "Knowing how close the Kenossi are as a people, you can't have gotten the att.i.tude from them. It must have come from the Inadni, then, an obvious effort to separate you from the rest of humanity. I thought you'd decided not to listen to them any longer."