Shadowborn - Captivity Part 21

"I'd say unclear rather than confused," Ijarin offered in a thoughtful way. "Kiri, you mentioned that our Guardian already knew what you said. Were you suggesting that Ranander is ... spying for our Guardian? Is that why he felt safe when he tried to get between you and Master Fearin?"

"No, that's not what I'm suggesting," I said to Ijarin while the others exclaimed over the contention.

"Ranander is definitely not spying for Diin-tha."

"Then what do you mean?" Fearin asked, his voice riding over those of the others asking the same question. "And what has all this back and forth got to do with our attack against Stophen-Zur?"

"It took me a while to accept this part of the theory, but I was left with no other explanation," I said,deciding it was time to get to the most outrageous part of the situation. "If you'll remember, I had to guard those twin girls as a Shadowborn in Faerza. Then, while we were in the palace, we were attacked by a.s.sa.s.sins posing as Kenoss. At that time I fought as a Kenoss, with a sword rather than as the beast, but I had to let the beast out a little in order to search for the a.s.sa.s.sins. Then came that nonsense about me being 'rewarded,' which brought about that confrontation with the regimental champions of the army.

Again I fought as a Kenoss, but at the end I had to let the beast out part way to end things completely.

And in case you were wondering, that beauty-ugliness thing is part of the Learning, which means the beast would have come to the surface yet again in Stophen-Zur. Doesn't all that tell you what's happening?"

I'd put the question to everyone but Ranander, but none of them cared to venture a guess. Their expressions suggested that they didn't want to understand, and for that I couldn't blame them.

"You were probably hoping I'd have to use the beast in the Valley of Twilight when those people tried to steal some of the men from our army," I said to Ranander when it was clear no one else would be saying anything. "But by that time I was already suspicious, so I tried a bluff instead and it worked. That meant you had to have us continue on to Stophen-Zur, after which we probably would have been told that that was the wrong city after all. Just how long did you think you could go on with this?"

"That's the second time you've suggested that Ranander is behind our efforts," Fearin said slowly when Ranander just sat there and looked at me with a sad expression. "Are you saying that this man found a way to make us believe that we were moving in Diin-tha's cause when we really weren't? I can't believe that that's true."

"You don't have to believe it because it isn't true," I said, noticing the hint of amus.e.m.e.nt in Ranander's dark eyes. "The G.o.d Diin-tha is behind everything, including the attack in Faerza and the insanity of the army. For some reason Diin-tha is ... attracted to the beast in me, and has been trying every which way to bring the beast out into the open. Isn't that right, Diin-tha?"

There were choking sounds from some of the others as I looked directly at Talasin, which banished the amus.e.m.e.nt in Ranander's eyes. "Prince Talasin" looked back at me without expression, the same way Ranander now looked at me. Those expressions actually made me smile.

"Was I really supposed to blame it all on 'Ranander'?" I asked Talasin. "When everyone knows that G.o.ds can be in two or three places all at the same time? I'll bet your next move would have been a plan to 'avoid' Ranander's ardor by offering yourself because Fearin wasn't available. You knew there was no way I'd ever lie with Ranander, so I'd probably take you up on your offer rather than hurt the poor man.

And in case I actually did get suspicious of Ranander, you would still be there to take over. How do my guesses sound now?"

"One of them was completely wrong," Talasin said with a very faint smile. "It isn't just your beast that I'm attracted to, it's all of you. You're bright and beautiful and deadly, and I felt the pull of you from the moment you first came to my notice. I knew I had to have you, but I did want to see you in action first.

Now that the play time is over, we can go to my tent."

"No," I said as he began to get to his feet. "Ranander" had started to fade when Talasin began to speak, and now there was nothing left of the other "man." "I'm not going anywhere with you, and I certainly won't share your bed."

"But you have to," Talasin said, sounding like the most reasonable being in the world as he settled back onto the golden floor weaving. "I'm a G.o.d, and you can't deny a G.o.d's desires. Tell her, Fearin."

"How can I tell her anything when I don't understand what's happening?" Fearin said, almost a plaintive note in his voice. "You're actually Diin-tha? But what about Ranander? Why would there be two of you?"

"There weren't two of him," I supplied when Talasin simply smiled. "Both of them were him, which let him keep his thumb on as much as possible. 'Ranander' wasn't lying when he said he couldn't know things when Power was involved or when I was. Diin-tha had to be present if he wanted to keep track of what went on. He made his initial move against me when I first got to your camp, right after he 'saved my life.'

He expected me to be grateful enough to do anything he wanted me to, and when things didn't work out that way he used 'Ranander' to set up the next plan. After that things started to go even more wrong, but if nothing else he's adaptable.""Don't forget determined," Talasin said, that familiar grin showing. "You know I'm going to get my way eventually, so why don't you just make things easier for both of us and stop being stubborn? I'd really hate to have to force you to do as I want... "

"But you can't force me, can you?" I said while the others paled or looked really uncomfortable. "I don't know why you can't use force, but if you could it would already have been done. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong."

"This is one side of you I don't admire," Talasin said, no longer grinning. "I'm not used to having mortals tell me what I can and cannot do. Come with me right now or suffer the consequences."

"Kiri, don't argue with him," Fearin said before I could respond, his voice tinged with worry. "Just go ahead and get it over with."

"No, wait, she's right," Ijarin said, and he seemed more distracted than worried. "For some reason Diin-tha can't force her to do as he wants, he needs her free agreement."

"Which he isn't going to get," I stated, still staring at the being I'd known as Talasin. "Not now and not ever."

"But why?" Talasin demanded, annoyance and exasperation clear in his voice. "How can you sit there and refuse the attentions of a G.o.d?"

"I don't like people - or beings - who care about nothing but their own desires," I answered, having wondered if he would ever get around to asking. "Mortals are totally unimportant to you even though you mimic them fairly well, and you would have let our army destroy the lives of everyone in Stophen-Zur just to let you watch me perform. You also don't care how much I suffer, just as long as you have what satisfies you. I don't expect you to understand what I'm talking about, but that doesn't matter. As long as I have the right to refuse you I'm going to exercise that right."

"That speech of yours tells me that you do care about people," Talasin said, now looking satisfied again.

"With that in mind, why don't I say that if you try to refuse me again I'll destroy every mortal within five hundred strides? That should help you change your mind."

"But that would be forcing me, and you aren't allowed to use force," I pointed out, hoping I was right.

"Why don't you change your mind instead, and find someone who will recognize the great honor you're trying to bestow on her? There have to be millions of women like that around, so just pick one."

"I can't just pick one, and wouldn't even if I could," Talasin - Diin-tha - answered in a growl. "You're the one I want, and you're the one I mean to have. Tell me what I can do to make you amenable."

"Sure," I answered, keeping the disgust from entering my tone. "You can learn to act like a responsible mortal, and maybe then you'll have a chance. I don't guarantee it, but the possibility exists."

"Very well, then that's what I'll do," he answered, his tone saying the matter was settled. "You'll teach me what you think I need to learn, and once I've done perfectly you'll change your mind. I've occasionally wondered what it would be like to live completely like a mortal, and now I'll find out. Are we going to start now or would you prefer to rest here for a time? And when we do leave, where will we be going?"

"You know, just because I was sarcastic doesn't mean you also have to be," I pointed out sourly. "And that's something else you have to learn, not to take sarcasm quite that far."

"I wasn't being sarcastic, I was agreeing to your terms," Diin-tha said with a gleam in his currently human-looking eyes. "I asked you to state terms, you did that, and I agreed. So when do we leave and where are we going?"

"You can't seriously think I'm going anywhere dragging an army behind me?" I said with a rude sound, letting him see that I was bothered so he'd stop the nonsense. "But dragging an army would be better than dragging a G.o.d, so -"

"Oh, the army won't be coming with us," Diin-tha interrupted, now back to being amused. "Prince Garam was promised the use of the army once I was done with it, and I'm now done with it. Prince Garam's father was murdered by a cousin and his throne stolen, and now Prince Garam means to take the throne back. He thought the army would also have to be used on 'Prince Talasin's' behalf, but it's no longer necessary to keep up that pretense."

"The army is mine now?" Garam said, a bit of color coming back to his face as he straightened where he sat. "That is what I wanted and needed, so you have my most sincere thanks, Lord.""You've earned the army, Prince Garam, so there's no need to thank me," Diin-tha said, a hint of dryness to the words. "But that army is only what you want, not also what you need. To fulfill the second part of my promise, I'll give you this thought: consider what you'll do with the army once your father's throne is back in your possession."

Garam frowned as he stared at Diin-tha-in-Talasin-clothing, obviously trying to understand what he'd been told. He hadn't yet gotten to the point of seeing that you might need an army to regain a stolen throne, but what do you do with the army once you have the throne back? If you're into conquest the answer is easy, but if all you want to do is sit peacefully on your throne you have a problem. Idle armies are expensive to maintain, and if the members of that army don't have enough to distract them many of them tend to turn to making trouble...

"And now that the time has come to hand out rewards, I might as well finish that ch.o.r.e," Diin-tha said, turning from Garam to look at Lokkel. "Your greatest desire, Healing Master, was to have a copy of the lost scroll containing the ancient Master Dolfrin's healing spells, so here it is."

Diin-tha took a scroll out from under his tunic, a scroll it hadn't been possible to see earlier. Lokkel took the thing with great reverence, and there were tears in his eyes when he looked at Diin-tha again.

"Thank you, Lord, my most devout thanks to you for putting this scroll into my hands," Lokkel said as he tried to smile. "It's been my life's ambition to find this, and now I have it."

"Yes, Healing Master, you do have it," Diin-tha agreed, that gleam back in his eyes again. "What you also need, however, is a warning. You don't quite wield enough Power to actually use any of those spells, so you have a decision to make. You can remain as you are and never use any of the spells in the scroll, or you can try to channel more of the Power. The decision, of course, is yours."

Lokkel wasn't smiling any longer, and his face had paled quite a lot. It seemed fairly obvious that Lokkel was afraid to try channeling more of the Power, but if he didn't try he'd never get to use the spells on the scroll. I was tempted to feel sorry for the man, but Diin-tha had turned his attention to Fearin.

"As for you, High Master, your most ardent wish is to find a place where you might live in peace,"

Diin-tha said in a way that was more oily than smooth. "That place can be yours if you like, and right now."

"I think I ought to ask first where that place is," Fearin said without expression, his full attention on the G.o.d. "Just to be certain it's what I had in mind, you understand."

"Of course," Diin-tha said, his amus.e.m.e.nt coming out in a grin. "The place I found is a beautiful valley, full of animal, bird, and insect life. It's lovely enough even to charm a G.o.d."

"But no human life," Fearin said, having picked up on the omission the same way I had. "Why doesn't it have human life?"

"Possibly because no human has found it yet," Diin-tha hedged, then he laughed. "Or possibly because it isn't accessible to the outside world. I thought I might get that small point past you, High Master, but apparently I couldn't. Would you now like to hear what you need to know?"

"Certainly, Lord," Fearin agreed, and I could see the muscles of his body tighten even though he still showed nothing of an expression.

"Of course you would," Diin-tha said, his human eyes gleaming. "The situation is rather interesting in that your greatest rival, also a High Master, is determined to find and face you to prove that he wields more of the Power than you do. Where Power is concerned there really is no way to determine beforehand what the outcome of such a meeting will be, so you could well be destroyed. Unless you ask me to send you to that valley I mentioned... "

Diin-tha let his words trail off, but studying Fearin's face gave him no more information than it gave any of the rest of us. Fearin was clearly considering his options, then he smiled very faintly.

"I appreciate the information, Lord, but I'll need some time to think about it," Fearin said at last. "When I make my decision I'll be certain to let you know."

Diin-tha's expression said he didn't much care for that answer, but there seemed to be nothing he wanted to do to change it - for the moment. Instead he turned to Ijarin, and his lips curled into something of a smile.

"It was interesting to have you among us, Prince Ijarin, but beyond a pleasant thank-you for yourcompany I have nothing for you," Diin-tha said. "You were, you'll recall, promised nothing for your partic.i.p.ation in our efforts."

"That's all right, Lord Diin-tha, I don't mind," Ijarin answered with amus.e.m.e.nt of his own. "My wants and needs are seen to extremely well by the Lady I serve. It was my pleasure to partic.i.p.ate in your effort."

"You're giving him nothing even though you used him?" I put in before I could decide it might be wiser to keep the words to myself. "You didn't want his a.s.sistance with your 'efforts,' you wanted him as someone Fearin would consider a rival if the High Master ever did find any interest in me. That's why you gave Fearin the sudden feeling that Ijarin ought to join us. When Fearin and Ijarin started to argue over me, 'Talasin' would have been able to step in as someone who was above such childish, demeaning behavior.

You don't believe in rewarding your stalking horses?"

"It's all right, Kiri," Ijarin said while Diin-tha glared at me. "Lord Diin-tha isn't permitted to give me anything, not while I'm dedicated to a G.o.ddess. And since I'll be joining you and the Lord on your journey, we don't want to generate any hard feelings that will take time to overcome."

"I'm not going anywhere with a G.o.d," I stated to Ijarin, then turned my head to look directly at Diin-tha.

"I have matters of my own to take care of, things that are more important than tickling the fancy of a being I have nothing in common with. The idea of traveling with you is a farce, and I don't enjoy farces."

"But what you do enjoy is the idea of being free of the Learning," Diin-tha said, looking at me with eyes that gave the impression of being dark rather than light. "What you want is to no longer be a Shadowborn, and what you need is to control what you call the beast until you accomplish that end. If you make no effort to back out of the pact we made, I'll see to it that you at least have what you need."

"I can help her with that need," Fearin said suddenly, startling everyone including me. "The Power has let me help her before, so there's no reason to believe it won't again. After all, since I'm going where she goes, there's no reason not to give what help I can."

I felt a definite urge to close my eyes, but this time I knew it would not be possible to hide in the dark until all my problems gave up and walked away. Diin-tha had hinted that he could give me what I wanted, freedom from the Learning, but apparently I wasn't as innocent as some people believed. If the G.o.d could have freed me from being a Shadowborn he would have said so straight out, since that would have gotten me into his bed instantly.

But Diin-tha hadn't made the promise, which must mean that he wasn't able to keep it. Regaining full freedom would be mine to do, but it would help enormously to have control over the beast while I searched for the path to complete freedom and that Diin-tha had promised. But I'd have to travel with him, "teaching" him what it was to be a mortal. As if he was likely to actually learn the lesson...

And Fearin would be coming with us. Diin-tha had nearly snarled at Fearin's offer to me, but he hadn't told the High Master he couldn't come along. It was perfectly clear that Fearin hadn't given up on his determination to bring us close again, but I couldn't let that happen. If Diin-tha got even more ... jealous, for want of a better term, something horrible could certainly be made to happen to Fearin. And I didn't want anything to happen to the man, even though I also didn't want to go back to the relationship we'd had. What I did want from or with the man wasn't clear, mostly because I hadn't been able to bring myself to think about it. And still didn't want to think about it...

And then there was Ijarin, who'd announced that he was also going to be joining us. What he wanted was even less clear than Diin-tha's motives, but at least he'd stopped mentioning that prophecy he'd bothered me about right at the beginning. I still didn't want to know about anything a prophecy said, even though it could well be relevant to what was now going on.

The one thing I had to do was find a way out of the trap of being Shadowborn. And I could almost see Bellid rolling on the floor and weeping tears as he laughed, picturing me doing that with a G.o.d, a High Master, and a barbarian prince with a secret trotting along behind me. Did one have to be a prophet to know that they would be more hindrance than help in the effort? Not in this lifetime...

The End