Shadow Wranglers: Slade Part 30

"You don't look too happy about it."

Derek was as close to him as any brother. "Jane doesn't want to be vampire."

"Did you ask?"

"Indirectly."

"Try directly."

"Why?"

"Because forever is a hard concept for humans to wrap their brain around."

"Not for Jane."

Derek cut him a pitying glance. "Maybe not now, but it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind."

There was nothing Slade hated more than well-meant advice. He'd already weighed the pros and cons. "Has Mei changed hers?"

Slade regretted the jab as soon as it left his mouth.

"No."

That one syllable summed up a world of hurt. Derek had ordered his mate converted to a vampire rather than lose her. She hated him for it, but he couldn't walk away. Not only because she was his mate but also because his was the only blood she could take and survive. She should have been able to take Jace's since he'd converted her, but once her conversion was complete, Jace's blood had been as poisonous to her as anyone else's, leaving Derek in an impossible position. Derek shifted his grip on the rifle.

"Maybe Jane can cure Mei."

"Do you want her cured?"

Curing Mei would remove the only bond between the couple. They'd never had a relationship. Derek had found her as she was dying, cut down by a Sanctuary guard. Slade couldn't imagine that. To wait hundreds of years for a mate only to find her as she was taking her last breaths. It's a wonder the wolf was sane at all.

"I want her happy."

"There's no saying she can't be happy with you."

"I scare the s.h.i.t out of her."

"Not so much anymore. Heard she tried to shoot you last time you got to arguing."

"She thought I was going to rape her."

Slade c.o.c.ked an eyebrow the werewolf. "What were you doing?"

"Wiping a smudge off her cheek."

s.h.i.t. "Still, shooting is a step up from screaming."

"True." A ghost of a smile touched Derek's lips. The first Slade had seen in a long time. "She's beginning to find her feet."

"Give it time, maybe she'll find you, too."

"Maybe." He motioned to the house with the tip of the rifle. "You need to head in."

Yeah. He did. He was as excited about that as Derek was about Mei's screams.

I don't want to be vampire.

He shrugged off the memory. Nodding to Derek, he headed for the house, stopping in a few feet and turning back as the hairs on the back of his neck rose in warning. "Watch yourself out here. I've got an uneasy feeling."

"Will do."

SLADE opened the door quietly. Jane was waiting for him, her hand clenched at her side, the computer open before her. A strong intelligent woman battling with things above her head.

"Come in."

There was a touch of sarcasm in the invite. She still hadn't forgiven him for his high-handedness earlier in regard to the case. Closing the door behind him, Slade stepped into the plain kitchen with its cheap maple-finished cabinets and white tiled countertops. He still didn't have a good enough angle to see the computer screen, but he wanted to. Whatever was on that screen was something that scared her but not ... really. He couldn't define the emotions that poured off her when she thought of whatever was on the computer. They were complex, old mixed with new. Anger mixed with purpose. With anyone else he would have been able to probe for the answers, but Jane was very good at hiding things from him. Too good. It was annoying. It forced him to deal with her in ways he'd thought he'd put behind him. It forced him to deal with her as if he was human.

"Didn't you watch enough B-movies to know it's dangerous to invite a vampire into your home?"

She didn't smile. "I'm a slow learner."

She punched a b.u.t.ton on the keyboard. He heard the soft click that said the computer had gone to sleep.

"I doubt that." He nodded toward the keyboard. "Keeping secrets?"

She didn't deny it. "A girl needs her mystery."

"A woman knows when to come clean."

"Yes, she does."

He tried the direct approach. "What's on the computer?"

There was a hesitation, and then she licked her lips. A sure sign she was about to avoid the truth. Slade had been reading people's minds for so long he'd forgotten how intriguing it was to focus on a person's physical response to understand what was going on inside them. Maybe there was something about mystery after all, because it was absorbing having to a.n.a.lyze her outward reactions rather than her thoughts.

"There's nothing on that screen that will affect you at all."

"But it affects you."

"Contrary to popular belief, my life did not begin once I met you."

The scent of stress increased. "I'm not criticizing, Jane. But I'd like to help."

She closed the lid of the computer. An answer in itself. "I don't need your help with this."

Emotion flared into his mind, bleeding from her to him. Old. Uncertain. "A long-standing problem."

Though he didn't make it a question, she took it as one. "My own personal moral debate. I think of it as humanizing."

Slade took another step into the room, the tension in her drawing him as effectively as a winch. "You don't find taking up with a vampire humanizing?"

She was close enough to hug. The tingling in his fingers increased, and the heat in his blood rose. She'd likely slap the grin off his face if he hugged her now.

"It makes me aware of the fragility of life."

"Is that a roundabout way of saying you feel threatened?"

"From all sides. At all times."

Hunted. The knowledge flowed along the link between them. This time he didn't check the impulse. He pulled her into his arms. She didn't relax against him like he was used to.

I don't want to be vampire.

The biggest blessing in his life was now the curse it was always supposed to have been.

"It's not like before. You're not a child and you're not alone."

"That part of my life is none of your business, Slade."

He tipped her chin up. "When you put your hand in mine that first night, you made everything about you my business."

"You wanted my formula."

"I wanted you."

Sadness flowed through their connection. Her hair rustled and she denied the claim. "I'm not a fool despite how easily I lay down with you. I watch suspense movies along with B-grade horror. Romance is a tried-and-true method for gaining the confidence of the person whose formula you want."

"Maybe for a human."

"And for a vampire who can't read my mind."

"You know?"

She nodded. "I've been working hard at perfecting my blocking."

"Smart lady."

"Smart enough to stay alive."

"But not smart enough to know when to trust."

Her cheek rested against his chest. "I trust you."

As much as I trust anyone.

The thought escaped her control.

"Then you need to trust more."

Jane pushed away, stepping out of his reach. Head up, shoulders back, looking every inch the strong intelligent woman she was. Feeling to his senses like the vulnerable child she had been. What the h.e.l.l was on that computer?

"Obviously I need to practice more."

"I haven't noticed that practice helps me any."

Her eyebrows rose and she looked up. "Those stray thoughts haven't been deliberate?"

"Maybe in the beginning." He rested his chin the top of her head. "Maybe not. I don't know what you heard. h.e.l.l, I'm even not even sure when I lost control of them."

"So this is new to you, too?"

"To the point I feel almost human again. There's a lot I've forgotten about courting."

The little start she gave at the word "courting" gave him hope. "What makes it 'almost'?"

How honest should he be? "The encouragement I get from your scent."

"I know I'm going to regret asking this. What do you mean?"

He kissed the top of her head, wrapping his energy around her stubbornness, holding her to him in every way he could. "Your scent changes with your emotions. It tells me when you lie. Tells when you're upset. It tells me when you're happy, but mostly it tells me how much you desire me."

"A physical reaction has nothing to the reality of commitment."

He tipped her chin up again. "It does between us."

"How?"

"Because we don't have a choice. Because I'm vampire and you're human. Because it's impossible and we still can't walk away. Something that strong is based in something bigger."

"Are you saying we're made for each other?"

Put like that, it did sound sappy. "I'm saying sometimes when we're pushed in a direction it's not always wise to go another."

"You believe in destiny."

"I know you're made for me."

"And the fact that I have the information to a formula that you want has nothing to do with that declaration?"

"No."

"What if I decide never to reveal it? Are you going to take it from me?"

"It's not my call."

"Bold words."

He shook his head. "You're a woman with a mind of her own. No one, not Sanctuary, not Renegade has the right to rape your brain for their perception of the greater good."