Shades Of Submission: Fifty By Fifty Part 96

Even days after that night at the BDSM club, she still felt like she had a guilty secret. Couldn't stop imagining that everyone could see it on her face that she was bad. And that given the chance, she'd want to be bad again.

She couldn't even imagine what Carly would think. Brooke still hadn't picked up the courage to tell her roommate about it. What could Brooke say? That she went on to have a kinky threesome with two doms? And that one had f.u.c.ked her in the a.s.s while the other one took her p.u.s.s.y at the same time? Carly might call her insane; despite the fact that Carly couldn't say she was innocent either. In fact, Carly could well be the one to blame for Brooke's total straying from her normal character...

And yet the truth was, it had been no one's decision but hers. Now Brooke could never be the same and couldn't seem to have enough.

After that night, Brooke fully expected to never see Sebastian or Jax again. Wasn't that how these things went? s.e.x games were fun but a woman like her couldn't turn it into a way of life. She couldn't be in one of those 24/7 submissive relationships where she gave in to a total power exchange. Besides, she didn't know a thing about either Sebastian or Jax; not enough to decide what their motives could be.

But Brooke couldn't lie that given the chance, she'd want to know more. But would she be willing to pay the ultimate price?

Sebastian watched Brooke emerge from her car and then make her way up to her apartment. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, his leather-clad elbow resting on the open window. He really shouldn't be there. f.u.c.k. He was acting like some...stalker.

He knew he had to leave Brooke alone, but he couldn't. At first it had been about giving her what he believed she wanted. That first night when he'd walked in on her by chance and caught her pleasuring herself to the sounds coming from her roommate's bedroom, he hadn't been able to resist.

He still couldn't resist. But resist he had to.

This was his one chance to see her again before he had to go on that business trip. There he was, parked across from her place. He already saw Carly leave, looking dressed for a night on the town and getting picked up by two guys in an Audi. So he knew Brooke would be alone in the apartment.

All he had to do was go up there and claim what he knew was his for the taking.

But something held Sebastian back.

Jax thought he was crazy for his self-imposed restraint. "What could be better than that night we shared with her? Well, getting to do it again, and again. She could well be exactly what we've been looking for, brother," Jax had told him just yesterday.

"I'd like to believe that," Sebastian had said thoughtfully. For a long time, both friends knew they wanted a woman they could share in a committed submissive relationship. There'd been those times in the past when it had seemed their search was over. But nothing ever seemed to 'click' just right, s.e.xually or otherwise. With Brooke, the s.e.x had been indescribable. She'd given in so sweetly, even when the doms could tell she'd never gone that far with anyone else. It had been like taking a virgin. She'd been so responsive, so freaking hot for more. How could Sebastian have even walked away from that?

Well, mainly because he'd been so sure that this had been a one-off thing for Brooke. She'd wanted a wild ride for the first time, and she got it. But Jax and Sebastian needed someone ready to make their way of life her own and not just some infrequent pastime.

Sebastian finally drove away from Brooke's apartment, still undecided yet knowing he couldn't make a move, not with his head in such a whirl. Just when he hadn't even been looking, there came the chance with someone who could make it all worthwhile. But how could Sebastian be sure this was what she wanted as well?

"It's up to us to show her how good this can be," Jax told Sebastian an hour later when Sebastian got back to the club. "We've already given her a taste. Who's to say she wouldn't decide this is all she's ever dreamed of?"

Sebastian huffed. "And who's to say, a few months from now she won't decide it's not her cup of tea after all? Remember Shannon?"

She'd been their sub; one they'd actually both had in a relationship and not just as a woman they worked over at the club. She'd been their woman; and then when it came right down to it, she couldn't handle the pressure. So she walked away and Sebastian learned to respect her decision though it hadn't hurt any less to feel like he'd been unable to guide their sub through to completion.

"Shannon made the choice to leave through no fault of ours. Despite being an experienced sub, she just wasn't emotionally stable. Messing with prescription drugs and such. We tried to help her, but she took a different path."

Sebastian nodded. Last thing they heard, she'd managed to get clean and now lived a very vanilla life with her fiance and a baby on the way. Sebastian was happy for her and yet that sense of failing still lingered somewhat.

He didn't want to fail with Brooke. Somehow, that would just feel like gutting him to the core.

"I need to go on that trip, get the chance to think things through," Sebastian muttered. He already had a flight out of town to see to their business concerns out of state. Apart from being best friends, they also partnered in business and Sebastian had a stake in the club as well.

Jax looked grim at Sebastian's decision to prolong matters involving Brooke, but didn't demur. Sebastian left the club soon after, knowing he'd be unable to concentrate fully on any play scene, not in his state of mind.

Neither he nor Jax ever had s.e.x with any of the subs that came over to be trained or taken through a scene. They drew the line at actual s.e.x but did get the subs off with toys and such. Some of the subs were in relationships with other members anyway, so if any s.e.x was going on it was usually between actual partners in the privacy of the back rooms or if they so wished, in front of an audience.

Taking Brooke up to their private quarters and sharing that night with her had been a first for both of them. Sebastian remembered Brooke's face as finally, the night of decadent pleasure had come to an end and she'd rested against the pillows, replete. He'd never seen a woman so beautiful and filled with joyous wonder.

He was glad they'd at least given her that. Pleasure beyond her wildest expectations. It was all he could hope for. It would have to do.

With that resolution, he prepared for his flight.

Chapter Ten.

Sebastian was already in a dark mood when he walked into the club that night.

He found himself stalling at the sight that met his eyes, and a strange feeling lurched in his chest.

He hadn't expected to see her again so soon. And definitely not like this.

Brooke, dancing with Jax. Right there in the middle of the dance floor with a sultry number playing in the dimmed club. The look in her eyes as she gazed up at Jax wrenched Sebastian's throat.

He found he could do nothing but watch.

Jax held her tightly to his frame, and the curvy Brooke still got to look delicate next to the brawny Jax. Yet, they fit like the perfect combination. Dancing so close together, they both seemed unaware of everyone else around them and certainly hadn't noticed Sebastian walk in.

Jax bent to whisper in her ear, and Sebastian could almost see Brooke's deep blush. Moments later, Jax took Brooke by the hand to lead her off the dance area, headed for the back where the display rooms were. Sebastian hesitated only a few moments before he began to follow from a distance.

It was as he'd suspected and Jax was taking Brooke to one of the display rooms, which had one-way mirrors in the walls which allowed spectators to view from the outside without those within getting to see them though they knew people were there.

Jax didn't request for a volunteer, and so it was just him and Brooke in the room which was furnished with a simple dentist-type chair and a cabinet while on the walls, were hung an array of bondage props.

Sebastian stood and watched as Jax took Brooke through a scene. Jax instructed her to strip to her panties, which she did, her body slightly shivering beneath his narrowed, watchful gaze. Sebastian felt the strain at the crotch of his jeans, as he hardened at the sight of her lush body in black satin and lace that barely held in her gorgeous curves, her hips flaring with feminine enticement. In the V of her thighs, her p.u.s.s.y shimmered beneath the sheer fabric, her pink flesh smooth and puffy. So beddable it hurt.

She looked nervous as Jax quickly grabbed her wrists and buckled leather cuffs onto both of them. Once they were bound together Jax informed her he was going to blindfold her and if she was ready. Despite her obvious reluctance, she nodded. "Yes, Sir."

She wouldn't have much of a chance to speak after that, as Jax then told her he would be gagging her as well. She made no objection, and so Jax soon placed a ball gag in her mouth and gently tightened the straps. Now she was completely helpless.

f.u.c.k. Sebastian had to restrain himself from walking in and joining them. This was a private moment and he decided to respect that. In fact, getting to watch had its own thrill and he wasn't about to give that up for anything. His keen eyes noted how shaken Brooke seemed but she didn't use any safety signals to end the scene. Instead, she seemed ready to see this through and the patient, experienced and skilled Jax was more than capable to take her through the ropes, so to speak.

Sebastian had already long suspected Brooke's aversion to being restrained in any manner though she'd never had to say it out loud. Like most people out there she had a fear of being completely vulnerable, though had no issues with the other elements of BDSM such as the erotic discipline and control.

Yet here she was, bold enough to be left with no power over what was about to happen to her; helpless and at her Dom's mercy. And she'd never looked more beautiful or desirable to Sebastian.

As she stood before him, secured in her bonds, blindfold and gag, Jax let his hands slowly caress her body, making Brooke release a m.u.f.fled moan. He took care to avoid her b.r.e.a.s.t.s or the p.u.s.s.y mound. And yet in minutes he had her breathing fast; chest heaving as she ground her hips, as if trying to reach for his touch in her most sensitive spots. Jax chuckled as he could feel her thrust toward his hand. Her moans grew louder beneath her gag.

"That long awaited touch," he mused, as he cupped her p.u.s.s.y in his large hand. Her body seemed to jerk convulsively. "I have to confess; I do like to tease." And as if to prove his point, he withdrew his hand from her apex and her grunts of protest filled the room. Another soft chuckle pa.s.sed Jax's lips as he told her there'll be plenty of time for that. Later.

"You can obviously tell by now that being deprived of sight will enhance every one of your other senses, and will intensify everything you get to feel from that moment on," Jax was saying to the still, trembling Brooke.

He went to stand behind her, to speak in her ear. "You'll never know what to expect; and the very antic.i.p.ation will be just as t.i.tillating. Will I use my crop on you, or my belt? You'll wonder...just how warm that drop of wax will feel when it lands on your soft, helpless flesh - or how much that feather running across the back of your knees will tickle. You'll be lost in sensation, where the only thing you can count on is that I'll be here, leading you every step of the way."

He inhaled deeply as he nuzzled at her throat, trailing his fingers down the delicate line of her exposed nape, voice thick as he added, "Now we can begin."

Jax looked up in surprise to see Sebastian walk into his office. It was barely noon and needless to say, Sebastian's unexpected appearance came as a shock.

"Hey, what's up?" Jax said. "You weren't supposed to be back until a day or two."

"Yeah. I cut the trip short and got back yesterday."

Jax nodded thoughtfully, standing to lean on the edge of his desk, folding his huge arms, which seemed to bulge in the rolled-up sleeves of his black shirt. "Brooke was here last night."

"I know," Sebastian replied, his tone light. Then he shoved a hand through his hair and turned away. "I was there; I watched you with her, all through the scene."

Jax straightened from his desk. "Then why didn't you join us?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I could tell it was a sensitive moment. I didn't want to break the mood by suddenly interrupting. Brooke seemed...comfortable with you. What I don't understand is why you went through with it."

He faced Jax again and met Jax's d.a.m.ned speculative gaze. Jax sighed. "She came by the club earlier in the day, during her lunch hour and I happened to be around. So I agreed to see her and she said she needed to talk. She had questions about the lifestyle and wanted to know more about being a sub. I told her I'd be happy to show her whatever she needed to know. I tried to call you and tell you about it but your phone was unavailable."

"I was stacked in meetings back to back. And then I was heading home on the next flight, so yeah; I understand how you didn't get to reach me. Still doesn't explain why you agreed to go along with her idea."

Jax huffed. "What did you expect me to do? Anyway, I told her to come by later when the club would be open and I'll see what I could do about her request. I never thought she would, but she showed up. I wasn't about to turn her away and then push her into finding out what she needed to know from somewhere else. I'm first and foremost a dom, and I did my job."

"You and I know that Brooke is far more than just a job - she always was," Sebastian said with more heat than he intended.

"And yet you seem intent on keeping her at arm's length. I'm not about to let you jeopardize everything we could have with her just because your instincts are telling you it's not worth the risk. Because believe me, it is. I'm willing to take that chance if you aren't."

Sebastian's jaw clenched and he could see the answering rigidity in Jax's expression. After a few moments, Sebastian sighed. "Well, I can't deny she definitely seems to have no problems trusting you and letting you close."

"You can't be jealous, can you?" Jax asked, dark brow arching. The slight twitch in his lips warned how light-hearted he was being about it all.

Sebastian snorted. "Jealous? Yeah right. Like that could ever happen." Sebastian could still remember the soft glow in Brooke's eyes as she'd gazed up at Jax, while dancing and even during the most intense moments of the scene. And each time, Sebastian had wanted that look of trust and reverence to be directed at him.

But no, he wasn't jealous. He and Jax went too far back for that. They'd shared a lot of s.h.i.t during the years they'd been friends ever since their time in the army special forces. Nothing could come between them; not after so many times of saving each other's a.s.s and being there through thick and thin.

If there was one person in the world he trusted like a brother, it was Jax. If anything, he'd been happy that Brooke had entrusted herself in Jax's capable hands and not some random dom at the club.

A hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed briefly, as Jax said simply, "She wanted you to be there as much as I did. You know it all can't be complete without you. That's the only way it's going to happen for real."

Sebastian knew in his heart this was true. It would never be the same if they couldn't all make it work together.

"You know it took a lot for her to come back here on her own after that first time," Jax added, his hand falling away as he sighed deeply. "Even Brooke is ready to take a chance. Why can't you?"

I don't know, Sebastian almost said. But then maybe he did.

He sent Jax a wry smile. "I guess when you want something bad enough, that makes it even harder to let yourself go. Because you can't be sure if you'll find your way back."

"Trust me, I know how you feel," Jax replied, a slow smile splitting his face. "But then you could ask yourself if the risk is worth it. That's what I did. And after spending more time with Brooke, I know what my answer would be."

Sebastian combed his fingers once again through his already messy blond locks. "I have to go. There's somewhere I need to be," he said, sending Jax a meaningful glance before heading for the door.

"I'm sure there is," Jax said with a flash of his knowing grin. If his hunch was right then things would take a turn for the better and before the night was through, Sebastian would realize that in this gamble of love, everyone could win...

Chapter Eleven.

"Sebastian!"

Brooke was as much surprised to hear her roommate call Sebastian's name, as she was to see him walk up to them as both women made their way up to the entrance of their building.

They'd been out with a couple of their other pals, just one of the usual girls' night out. They'd both chosen to make it an early night and once the cab dropped them off they were about to walk into their place when a tall, broad shouldered figure appeared through the shadowy night.

Brooke stared from Carly to Sebastian, as her roommate jumped to give him an embrace that set Brooke's teeth on edge for some reason.

"It's good to see you again Sebastian!" Carly exclaimed, drawing back from the embrace.

"You too, Carly. You look good," he said, before his piercing gaze turned to Brooke, who felt her heartbeat falter.

Seeing him again gave her all sorts of b.u.t.terflies. How long had it been? A week, two days and eight hours since the last time she'd set eyes on him? Yep, that should about cut it.

Feeling pathetic that she'd actually been counting the hours, she bit hard on her lip and averted her eyes from his all-seeing blue gaze. Tried to tell herself she didn't notice how hot he looked in those jeans and snug black tee."

"You know Sebastian?" Brooke heard herself ask Carly with a tone that was half-accusing. But of course Brooke knew that Carly had to. Why else had he shown up in their apartment that night over a week ago?

Carly smiled and went pink. "I forgot to tell you all about how we met."

"Carly and I got to know through an online forum - sort of a BDSM site," Sebastian said lightly. "We stayed in contact for a few months and then finally got to meet a few times and I even came over here once or twice but you and I never got to meet - until that night a week ago."

His eyes had that teasing glint that turned her to mush, but Brooke was still confused by all the revelations, not sure where things stood anymore.

"Anyway, so Sebastian was kind enough to invite me to Dark Desires so I decided to go - and believe me I'm glad I did," said the grinning Carly, oblivious to Brooke's inner turmoil.

Brooke's jealousy couldn't be more gut-ripping. Quelling the feeling of betrayal that he'd invited someone else to the club as he'd done to her, she once again turned her accusation to Carly. "I guess you also forgot to mention you've been to a BDSM club!"

"It was just once. It was actually that night I came back home with Ash and Byron," Carly said, her smile growing cheeky. "That's where I actually met them - at Dark Desires. We hit things off just like I told you, and you know the rest. But you...how do you two know each other?"

Once again, Sebastian spoke up. "It was that same night you left the club with Ash and Byron. I know them as members of the club but I had to be sure you were okay after going home with them. So I came by your place, met Brooke and we got...talking."

"Oh," Carly said, eyes wide. Now it was her turn to stare from Brooke to Sebastian as they locked gazes, seemingly oblivious to anyone else around them.

"Looks like you forgot to tell me about that, too," Carly said to Brooke with a teasing look.