Seven Short Plays Part 9

_Fardy:_ Hoist it up! I'll give it a hoist! (_Halvey runs out._)

_Mrs. Delane:_ (_Calling out._) What are you doing Fardy Farrell? Is it idling you are?

_Fardy:_ Waiting I am, ma'am, for the message--

_Mrs. Delane:_ Never mind the message yet. Who said it was ready?

(_Going to door._) Go ask for the loan of-no, but ask news of-Here, now go bring that bag of Mr. Halvey's to the lodging Miss Joyce has taken--

_Fardy:_ I will, ma'am. (_Takes bag and goes out._)

_Mrs. Delane:_ (_Coming out with a telegram in her hand._) n.o.body here? (_Looks round and calls cautiously._) Mr. Quirke! Mr. Quirke!

James Quirke!

_Mr. Quirke:_ (_Looking out of his upper window with soap-suddy face_). What is it, Mrs. Delane?

_Mrs. Delane:_ (_Beckoning._) Come down here till I tell you.

_Mr. Quirke:_ I cannot do that. I'm not fully shaved.

_Mrs. Delane:_ You'd come if you knew the news I have.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Tell it to me now. I'm not so supple as I was.

_Mrs. Delane:_ Whisper now, have you an enemy in any place?

_Mr. Quirke:_ It's likely I may have. A man in business--

_Mrs. Delane:_ I was thinking you had one.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Why would you think that at this time more than any other time?

_Mrs. Delane:_ If you could know what is in this envelope you would know that, James Quirke.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Is that so? And what, now, is there in it?

_Mrs. Delane:_ Who do you think now is it addressed to?

_Mr. Quirke:_ How would I know that, and I not seeing it?

_Mrs. Delane:_ That is true. Well, it is a message from Dublin Castle to the Sergeant of Police!

_Mr. Quirke:_ To Sergeant Carden, is it?

_Mrs. Delane:_ It is. And it concerns yourself.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Myself, is it? What accusation can they be bringing against me? I'm a peaceable man.

_Mrs. Delane:_ Wait till you hear.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Maybe they think I was in that moonlighting case--

_Mrs. Delane:_ That is not it--

_Mr. Quirke:_ I was not in it-I was but in the neighbouring field-cutting up a dead cow, that those never had a hand in--

_Mrs. Delane:_ You're out of it--

_Mr. Quirke:_ They had their faces blackened. There is no man can say I recognized them.

_Mrs. Delane:_ That's not what they're saying--

_Mr. Quirke:_ I'll swear I did not hear their voices or know them if I did hear them.

_Mrs. Delane:_ I tell you it has nothing to do with that. It might be better for you if it had.

_Mr. Quirke:_ What is it, so?

_Mrs. Delane:_ It is an order to the Sergeant bidding him immediately to seize all suspicious meat in your house. There is an officer coming down. There are complaints from the Shannon Fort Barracks.

_Mr. Quirke:_ I'll engage it was that pork.

_Mrs. Delane:_ What ailed it for them to find fault?

_Mr. Quirke:_ People are so hard to please nowadays, and I recommended them to salt it.

_Mrs. Delane:_ They had a right to have minded your advice.

_Mr. Quirke:_ There was nothing on that pig at all but that it went mad on poor O'Grady that owned it.

_Mrs. Delane:_ So I heard, and went killing all before it.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Sure it's only in the brain madness can be. I heard the doctor saying that.

_Mrs. Delane:_ He should know.

_Mr. Quirke:_ I give you my word I cut the head off it. I went to the loss of it, throwing it to the eels in the river. If they had salted the meat, as I advised them, what harm would it have done to any person on earth?

_Mrs. Delane:_ I hope no harm will come on poor Mrs. Quirke and the family.

_Mr. Quirke:_ Maybe it wasn't that but some other thing--

_Mrs. Delane:_ Here is Fardy. I must send the message to the Sergeant.

Well, Mr. Quirke, I'm glad I had the time to give you a warning.

_Mr. Quirke:_ I'm obliged to you, indeed. You were always very neighbourly, Mrs. Delane. Don't be too quick now sending the message.

There is just one article I would like to put away out of the house before the Sergeant will come. (_Enter Fardy._)

_Mrs. Delane:_ Here now, Fardy-that's not the way you're going to the barracks. Anyone would think you were scaring birds yet. Put on your uniform. (_Fardy goes into office._) You have this message to bring to the Sergeant of Police. Get your cap now, it's under the counter.

(_Fardy reappears, and she gives him telegram._)