Seven Short Plays Part 23

_Sibby:_ What now is the price of that net in the corner?

_Nestor:_ (_Taking it down._) It is but a little bag that is, suitable for carrying small articles; it would become your oranges well.

Twopence I believe, Sibby, is what I should charge you for that.

_Sibby:_ (_Taking money out of handkerchief._) Give it to me so! Here I'll get the start of you, Timothy Ward, anyway.

(_She takes it and goes out, almost overturning Timothy Ward, who is rushing in._)

_Nestor:_ Well, Timothy, did you see the Widow Broderick in the Court?

_Ward:_ I did see her. It is in it she is, now, looking as content as in the coffin, and she paying her debt.

_Nestor:_ Did she give you any account of herself?

_Ward:_ She did to be sure, and to the whole Court; but look here now, I have no time to be talking. I have to be back there when the magistrates will have their lunch taken. Now you being so clever a man, Mr. Nestor, what would you say is the surest way to go catching birds?

_Nestor:_ It is a strange thing now, I was asked the same question not three minutes ago. I was just searching my mind. It seems to me I have read in some place it is a very good way to go calling to them with calls; made for the purpose they are. You have but to sit under a tree or whatever place they may perch and to whistle ... suppose now it might be for a curlew.... (_Whistles._)

_Timothy Ward:_ Are there any of those calls in the shop?

_Nestor:_ I would not say there are any made for the purpose, but there might be something might answer you all the same. Let me see now.... (_Gets down a box of musical toys and turns them over._)

_Ward:_ Is there anything now has a sound like the croaky screech of a jackdaw?

_Nestor:_ Here now is what we used to be calling a corncrake....

(_Turns it_.) Corncrake, corncrake ... but it seems to me now that to give it but the one creak, this way ... it is much like what you would hear in the chimney at the time of the making of the nests.

_Ward:_ Give it here to me!

(_Puts a penny on counter and runs out._)

_Tommy Nally:_ (_Coming in shaking with excitement._) For the love of G.o.d, Mr. Nestor, will you give me that live-trap on credit!

_Nestor:_ A trap? Sure there is no temptation for rats to be settling themselves in the Workhouse.

_Nally:_ Or a snare itself ... or any sort of a thing that would make the makings of a crib.

_Nestor:_ What would you want, I wonder, going out fowling with a crib?

_Nally:_ Why wouldn't I want it? Why wouldn't I have leave to catch a bird the same as every other one?

_Nestor:_ And what would the likes of you be wanting with a bird?

_Nally:_ What would I want with it, is it? Why wouldn't I be getting my own ten pounds?

_Nestor:_ Heaven help your poor head this day!

_Nally:_ Why wouldn't I get it the same as Mrs. Broderick got it?

_Nestor:_ Well, listen to me now. You will not get it.

_Nally:_ Sure that man is buying them will have no objection they to come from one more than another.

_Nestor:_ Don't be arguing now. It is a queer thing for you, Tommy Nally, to be arguing with a man like myself.

_Nally:_ Think now all the good it would do me ten pound to be put in my hand! It is not you should be begrudging it to me, Mr. Nestor. Sure it would be a relief upon the rates.

_Nestor:_ I tell you you will not get ten pound or any pound at all.

Can't you give attention to what I say?

_Nally:_ If I had but the price of the trap you wouldn't refuse it to me. Well, isn't there great hardship upon a man to be bet up and to have no credit in the town at all.

_Nestor:_ (_Exasperated, and giving him the cage._) Look here now, I have a right to turn you out into the street. But, as you are silly like and with no great share of wits, I will make you a present of this bird till you try what will you get for it, and till you see will you get as much as will cover its diet for one day only. Go out now looking for customers and maybe you will believe what I say.

_Nally:_ (_Seizing it._) That you may be doing the same thing this day fifty years! My fortune's made now! (_Goes out with cage._)

_Nestor:_ (_Sitting down._) My joy go with you, but I'm bothered with the whole of you. Everyone expecting me to do their business and to manage their affairs. That is the drawback of being an educated man!

(_Takes up paper to read._)

_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Coming in._) I declare I'm as comforted as Job coming free into the house from the Court!

_Nestor:_ Well, indeed, ma'am, I am well satisfied to be able to do what I did for you, and for my friend from Africa as well, giving him so fine and so handsome a bird.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Sure Finn himself that chewed his thumb had not your wisdom, or King Solomon that kept order over his kingdom and his own seven hundred wives. There is neither of them could be put beside you for settling the business of any person at all.

(_Sibby comes in holding up her netted bag._)

_Nestor:_ What is it you have there, Sibby?

_Sibby:_ Look at them here, look at them here.... I wasn't long getting them. Warm they are yet; they will take no injury.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ What are they at all?

_Sibby:_ It is eggs they are ... look at them. Jackdaws' eggs.

_Nestor:_ (_Suspiciously._) And what call have you now to be bringing in jackdaws' eggs?

_Sibby:_ Is it ten pound apiece I will get for them do you think, or is it but ten pound I will get for the whole of them?

_Nestor:_ Is it drink, or is it tea, or is it some change that is come upon the world that is fitting the people of this place for the asylum in Ballinasloe?

_Sibby:_ I know of a good clocking hen. I will put the eggs under her.... I will rear them when they'll be hatched out.

_Nestor:_ I suppose now, Mrs. Broderick, you went belling the case through the town?

_Mrs. Broderick:_ I did not, but to the Magistrates upon the bench that I told it out of respect to, and I never mentioned your name in it at all.

_Sibby:_ Tell me now, Mrs. Broderick, who have I to apply to?