Seven Short Plays Part 22

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Here I am back again and no addition to me since I went.

_Nestor:_ You gave me a start coming in so noiseless.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ It is time for me go to the Court, and I give you my word I'd be better pleased going to my burying at the Seven Churches.

A nice slab I have there waiting for me, though the man that put it over me I never saw him at all, and he a far off cousin of my own.

_Nestor:_ Who knows now, Mrs. Broderick, but things might turn out better than you think.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ What way could they turn out better between this and one o'clock?

_Nestor:_ (_Scratching his head._) I suppose now you wouldn't care to play a game of Twenty-five?

_Mrs. Broderick:_ I am surprised at you, Mr. Nestor, asking me to go cardplaying on such a day and at such an hour as this.

_Nestor:_ I wonder might some person come in and give an order for ten pounds' worth of the stock?

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Much good it would do me. Sure I have the most of it on credit.

_Nestor:_ Well, there is no knowing. Some well-to-do person now pa.s.sing the street might have seen you and taken a liking to you and be willing to make an advance or a loan.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Ah, who would be taking a liking to me as they might to a young girl in her bloom.

_Nestor:_ Oh, it's a sort of thing might happen. Sure age didn't catch on to you yet; you are clean and fresh and sound. What's this I was reading in "Answers." (_Looks at it._) "Romantic elopement...."

_Mrs. Broderick:_ I know of no one would be thinking of me for a wife ... unless it might be yourself, Mr. Nestor....

_Nestor:_ (_Jumping up and speaking fast and running finger up and down paper._) "Performance of d.i.c.k Whittington." ... There now, there is a story that I read in my reading, it was called Whittington and the Cat. It was the cat led to his fortune. There might some person take a fancy to your cat....

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Ah, let you have done now. I have no cat this good while. I banished it on the head of it threatening the jackdaw.

_Nestor:_ The jackdaw?

_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Fetches cage from inner room._) Sure I reared it since the time it fell down the chimney and I going into my bed. It is often you should have seen it, in or out of its cage. Hero his name is. Come out now, Hero.

(_Opens cage._)

_Nestor:_ (_Slapping his side._) That is it ... that's the very thing.

Listen to me now, Mrs. Broderick, there are some might give a good price for that bird. (_Sitting down to the work._) It chances now there is a friend of mine in South Africa. A mine owner he is ... very rich ... but it is down in the mine he has to live by reason of the Kaffirs ... it is hard to keep a watch upon them in the half dark, they being black.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ I suppose....

_Nestor:_ He does be lonesome now and again, and he is longing for a bird to put him in mind of old Ireland ... but he is in dread it would die in the darkness ... and it came to his mind that it is a custom with jackdaws to be living in chimneys, and that if any birds would bear the confinement it is they that should do it.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ And is it to buy jackdaws he is going?

_Nestor:_ Isn't that what I am coming to. (_He pulls out notes._) Here now is ten pounds I have to lay out for him. Take them now and good luck go with them, and give me the bird.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ Notes is it? Is it waking or dreaming I am and I standing up on the floor?

_Nestor:_ Good notes and ten of them. Look at them! National Bank they are.... Count them now, according to your fingers, and see did I tell any lie.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Counting._) They are in it sure enough ... so long as they are good ones and I not made a hare of before the magistrates.

_Nestor:_ Go out now to the Court and show them to Timothy Ward, and see does he say are they good. Pay them over then, and its likely you will be let off the costs.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ (_Taking shawl._) I will go, I will go. Well, you are a great man and a kind man, Joseph Nestor, and that you may live a thousand years for this good deed.

_Nestor:_ Look here now, ma'am, I wouldn't wish you to be mentioning my name in this business or saying I had any hand in it at all.

_Mrs. Broderick:_ I will not so long as it's not pleasing to you.

Well, it is yourself took a great load off me this day! (_She goes out._)

_Nestor:_ (_Calling after her._) I might as well be putting the jackdaw back into the cage to be ready for the journey. (_Comes into shop._) I hope now he will be well treated by the sailors and he travelling over the sea.... Where is he now.... (_Chirrups._) Here now, come here to me, what's this your name is.... Nero! Nero! (_Makes pounces behind counter._) Ah, bad manners to you, is it under the counter you are gone!

(_Lies flat on the floor chirruping and calling, Nero! Nero!

Nally comes in and watches him curiously._)

_Nally:_ Is it catching blackbeetles you are, Mr. Nestor? Where are they and I will give you a hand....

_Nestor:_ (_Getting up annoyed._) It's that bird I was striving to catch a hold of for to put him back in the cage.

_Tommy Nally:_ (_Making a pounce._) There he is now. (_Puts bird in cage._) Wait now till I'll fasten the gate.

_Nestor:_ Just putting everything straight and handy for the widow woman I am before she will come back from the settlement she is making in the Court.

_Nally:_ What way will she be able to do that?

_Nestor:_ I gave her advice. A thought I had, something that came from my reading. (_Taps paper._) Education and reading and going in the army through the kingdoms of the world; that is what fits a man now to be giving out advice.

_Tommy:_ Indeed, it's good for them to have you, all the poor ignorant people of this town.

_c.o.o.ney:_ (_Coming in hurriedly and knocking against Nally as he goes out._) What, now, would you say to be the best nesting place in this town. Nests of jackdaws I should say.

_Nestor:_ There is the old mill should be a good place. To the west of the station it is. Chimneys there are in it. Middling high they are.

Wait now till I'll tell you of the great plan I made up....

_c.o.o.ney:_ What are you asking for those rakes in the corner? It's no matter, I'll take one on credit, or maybe it is only the lend of it I'll take. ... I'll be coming back immediately. (_He goes out with rake._)

_Sibby:_ (_Coming in excitedly._) If you went bird-catching, Mr.

Nestor, tell me what way would you go doing it?

_Nestor:_ It is not long since I was reading some account of that ...

lads that made a trade of it ... nets they had and they used to be spreading them in the swamps where the plover do be feeding....

_Sibby:_ Ah, sure where's the use of a plover!

_Nestor:_ And snares they had for putting along the drains where the snipe do be picking up worms.... But if I myself saw any person going after things of the sort, it is what I would advise them to stick to the net.