Second Time Around Part 22

There was an awkward pause. 'Oren's a devout Christian, Jennifer. He wouldn't lie under divine witness.'

'And I would?'

There was another long pause. 'Look,' said David, 'I know you've been having a tough time of it lately. Brian told us how upset you were that things didn't work out between you and Ben. And I know you're missing Matt. Perhaps it's all just been too much of a strain. And Oren's such a likeable, caring guy, I can ... well ... I can see how you might seek comfort there.'

Jennifer was entranced, and rendered speechless, by this far-fetched a.n.a.lysis.

'Lucy believes him too,' went on David, rousing Jennifer from her stupor.

'Lucy's blinded by love, David,' she snapped. 'What's your excuse?'

'Jennifer,' said David, inhaling deeply, and she could imagine him standing in the surgery in the clogs and green coat he wore for consultations, pushing out his chest. 'I think this nonsense has gone far enough. I know you don't like the guy but you can't make outrageous a.s.sertions like that. We have Lucy's future to think about.'

'And you would see her married to a man who made unwanted s.e.xual advances to her mother? What kind of a father would stand by and let that happen?' The doorbell went and she ignored it. She hadn't finished with David and she wasn't going to answer the door in her pyjamas to anyone. 'I believe he's capable of anything. He'll cheat on her at the first opportunity and,' she said, shivering at the memory of his fierce, brutal embrace, 'he's got violent tendencies.'

'I think Lucy's right about you,' said David.

'What?'

The doorbell went again, except this time whoever was ringing the bell pressed it again and again, each time holding the buzzer down for several seconds at a time. The noise jagged through her brain like a chainsaw.

'I do believe you might be jealous of her,' said David. 'Could you not bear to see her happy when your relationship's gone down the pan?'

'What absolute nonsense, David,' she said angrily. Fists banging on the front door finally got her attention proper and filled her with dread. She walked towards the front door and put her hand on the snib, no longer caring that she was dressed in nightwear.

'Or is it because you dislike Oren so much?' sneered David as she turned the lock. 'Did you think this alleged attack would break them up?'

'For the last time, David. I didn't make the attack up,' she retorted, grinding her teeth. 'And frankly, I'm disappointed in you. We've known each other for over twenty years. When did I ever lie to you? You've known Oren all of two minutes and you think the sun shines out of his proverbial.

'Look, I'm going to have to answer the door,' she said and opened the door wide. Isabel Duncan from next door stood on the doorstep in a knee-length wool coat, tan tights and sensible black snow boots. Her grey hair was hidden under a furry hat.

'Oh, Jennifer, thank G.o.d you're in,' she gasped, her dove grey, age-faded eyes full of tears. 'Come quickly! It's m.u.f.fin.'

'What's that about m.u.f.fin?' said David's m.u.f.fled voice, as she let the phone slide from her ear. m.u.f.fin was in the garden where she'd left him, wasn't he?

'I was coming back from getting the paper. I was on the main road,' said Isabel, the words tumbling out, one on top of the other. 'And you know the way there's that blind corner as you turn into the estate?'

Jennifer nodded blankly and looked towards the end of the street. But there was nothing to see, the bend in the street where it joined the main road hidden from view by the house on the corner.

'Well, I came round the corner,' went on Isabel, 'and there he was. Just standing in the middle of the road. As soon as I saw him I hit the brakes as hard as I could but it was no good. I had new tyres put on the car before Christmas so it wasn't my fault. It was the ice, you see. I've phoned the council three times this winter about gritting our street, but they say it's not a priority because it's only a cul-de-sac. Anyway, the car just kept on going, sliding across the ice, and it ... it hit him.'

She paused to catch her breath. Wordlessly, Jennifer put a hand to her mouth.

'I heard this awful thud. And now he's lying up there on the road in front of my car.'

'Dead?'

'No, no I don't think so. I think he's still alive but he's hurt, my dear.'

Jennifer put the phone to her ear. David was still talking, saying something about keeping a client waiting and how he'd give her time to think things over. 'David,' she said, interrupting him. 'Can you come over here right now? m.u.f.fin's been hit by a car.'

Chapter 21.

Lucy came out of the first lecture of the day hugging a blue A4 folder to her chest with her name and 'Fluid Mechanics and Electromagnetism' written in her neat handwriting on the front. First day back and her head was swimming with Non-Newtonian fluids, the continuum hypothesis and Navier-Stokes equations. Her understanding of mathematical concepts was tenuous at best. Just when she thought she was on the brink of comprehending a concept, like Bernoulli's principle, the subject of today's lecture, it would slip from her grasp like sand through fingers.

How on earth was she going to pa.s.s the exams at the end of the year? She would have to start studying hard if she was to stand any chance. But her heart wasn't in it. Now that she had Oren, she didn't care about uni any more. Her future was. .h.i.tched to his like a cart to a horse: she was only soldiering on because Oren had promised her father she'd finish second year.

And then they would be off to Peru, which Oren said would be the greatest adventure of her life.

She'd nodded in agreement, but of course the greatest adventure would be marrying him; becoming Mrs Oren Wilson. She couldn't wait to leave university, and the b.i.t.c.hy girls at the house, behind and surrender herself to his protection and care. She didn't particularly want to go to Peru, but Oren's heart was set on it and she knew that if she didn't go, she would lose him. She was tired of battling alone through life, trying to fit in, pretending she was something she wasn't.

And her happiness would've been complete had it not been for the awful, deplorable thing her mother had done. Throwing herself at Oren had been bad enough but then to falsely accuse him of the very thing she'd done herself, well, that really was unforgivable. And it had spectacularly backfired.

Through it all Oren had acted with restrained dignity. After rebuffing Jennifer's advances, he'd protected her from wider censure by keeping quiet about it. He'd only owned the truth when Mum tried to turn the tables on him. He'd borne her hideous accusations stoically, displaying his true Christian nature, and exposed her mother for the liar she was. And she'd never realised that her mother, who claimed to love her, could hurt her so.

To her astonishment, Oren had offered Jennifer his ready forgiveness, an act that proved he not only loved the word of G.o.d, he lived it too. She only wished that she too could find it in her heart to forgive her mother.

'Hey, you,' said Amy, striding purposefully down the corridor. 'Let's see the ring then!'

Lucy peeled herself off the wall and tossed her hair back. The ring on her finger made her feel special, wanted, superior. Even the girls she shared a house with had stared at it in awe, their hard, mean faces glazing over in jealousy. She held out her left hand and said proudly, 'It was Oren's grandmother's. I'm sorry, I meant to call you but things were a bit manic over the holidays.'

'Oh, that's all right.' Amy took her hand and examined the ring. 'That is gorgeous,' she said. 'I'm so happy for you both.'

'Thanks. You will come to the wedding, won't you, Amy? It's the last Sat.u.r.day in May.'

'Wouldn't miss it for the world,' she beamed happily.

'And will you help me choose a dress?'

Amy frowned. 'Won't your Mum want to do that with you?'

'No,' said Lucy firmly, 'I'd like you to.'

'Oh, okay. Sure.' Lucy blinked and looked away and Amy, always quick to smooth over awkward moments, added brightly, 'Now what's this rumour going round that you and Oren are joining the mission out in Peru? Is it true?'

Lucy blushed, thrilled by the novelty of being the subject of gossip for the first time in her life. 'Yes,' she said confidently, 'they've accepted our application. We're going out as soon as the exams are finished. The plan is to go for a year and then come back and finish our degrees.'

'Oh my word, that is just amazing! I'm not sure I could be that brave. From what I hear it's pretty basic out there you know,' she said with a worried look. 'You'll need all your jabs before you go and you'll have to take malaria tablets.'

'Well, yes,' said Lucy, realising that she had not given the practicalities of the trip much consideration. All Oren talked about was the G.o.d's work they would be undertaking he wasn't a details man.

Her mobile rang. 'That'll be Oren,' she said with a secretive smile and pulled out the phone. But it wasn't Oren's mobile number displayed on the screen. 'No, it's Dad,' she stage-whispered to Amy who nodded, gave her a little wave goodbye and disappeared.

Lucy put the phone to her ear, wondering briefly why her father was calling her at this time in the morning. Shouldn't he be at work?

'Hi Dad,' said Lucy, turning to face the wall as if this might provide some privacy. 'Is everything all right?'

'No, darling, it's not,' he said in the same voice he'd used to tell her that he and Mum were getting divorced. Her heart stilled. 'It's m.u.f.fin,' he went on. 'He's been hit by a car up at your Mum's.'

'Oh, Dad,' said Lucy, dry-eyed, blinking.

'He's alive, Lucy. But only just. And I'm afraid it's not good, pet. His right hip's broken and he has internal injuries. I'm going to have to put him down.'

'Oh no, Dad, please don't,' she cried breaking down and sobbing into the phone. 'He's my best friend.' She closed her eyes and saw him as a puppy, a fluffy ball of two-toned mischief and mayhem who went on to chew all the chair legs in the house. She smiled, remembering holding him for the first time in her arms, feeling the slight weight of him, so skinny under all that fur, and the nipping bite of his sharp little teeth.

Dad cleared his throat and said a little shakily, 'I have to, darling. It's not fair to let him suffer. Even if he was a younger dog, stronger, fitter, he couldn't survive these injuries. His time has come and we all have to be brave.'

Lucy wiped the tears from her face. Students emerging from a nearby lecture room streamed along the corridor, filling it with noise. 'I don't want him to die like this, Dad, without me. I thought that when the time came, I would be there.'

There was a long pause on the other end of the line and some m.u.f.fled conversation she couldn't quite make out. 'Okay. You still can. He's heavily sedated at the moment and I can keep him that way for a few more hours so that he's not in any pain. How quickly can you get home? I don't want to leave m.u.f.fin in case his condition worsens.'

'No, you must stay with him.' She looked up the corridor hoping to see Amy, to call her back, but she was long gone.

'Maggie's got to pick the girls up shortly for lunch, and I'm afraid your mother's in no fit state to '

'It's okay,' interrupted Lucy, 'I'll get Oren to drive me. It'll be much quicker than someone coming for me.' No way would she get in the car with her mother, even in this emergency.

As soon as she'd hung up she rang Oren. Thankfully he answered straight away. He was somewhere quite noisy there was lots of laughter in the background and a female voice hissed 'Shush.' She ran a hand through her hair and got straight to the point, telling him about what had happened to m.u.f.fin.

'I'm so sorry to hear that,' he said, moving away from the noise.

His compa.s.sion brought on more tears. How she wished she was in his arms right now, with his big hands on her back and her face buried in his neck. She wasn't sure she was brave enough to do this without him. 'Oren, I have to get home as fast as possible. I don't want him to suffer unnecessarily.'

'Of course you don't. You know, it might be best just to tell David to go ahead and euthanise him straight away. It might be the kindest thing to do.'

'Oh,' said Lucy, a little taken aback. Didn't Oren know how much she loved m.u.f.fin? Even though he might be unconscious, she could not let him die without her at his side, where she had been all his life. 'But I have to get back, Oren. I can't let him die alone.'

'He won't be alone. Didn't you say your parents were with him?'

'Yes, but he's my dog, Oren,' she said, whining disappointment creeping into her voice. 'He needs me.'

'Okay,' he said wearily, 'if you say so.'

'We'll need to leave straight away. Can you please meet me at my flat? I think we should take an overnight bag and stay at Dad's. I could tell he was really upset on the phone, even though he tried to hide it. Where are you now?'

'Er ... in the college cafe at Moira, just getting a coffee. I'm about to go into a seminar.'

'You can be at my flat in twenty minutes then,' said Lucy pushing up the sleeve of her jacket and looking at her watch. 'And then we can swing by yours and pick up your overnight stuff.'

There was a short silence. She thought she heard a faint sigh and Oren said, 'I can't give you a lift, Lucy, and I can't stay in Ballyfergus tonight.'

Lucy, shocked, put a hand on the back of her neck. 'But, but I need you.'

'I'm sorry. I can't afford to miss this seminar and I've got an essay that I have to hand in tomorrow. I'll be burning the midnight oil to get it done in time. I've already asked for an extension. I can't ask for another one.'

'You shouldn't leave things so late, Oren. You should be better organised,' she snapped and then felt awful. 'I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.'

'Yes, it was,' he said and paused to let this rebuke sink in. 'Anyway, I don't think it would be wise for me to be there, not with your mother around.'

Lucy frowned. 'It would be awkward, I suppose, but can't you put your feelings aside for m.u.f.fin's sake? He's the priority.'

'I'm sorry, Lucy,' he said firmly. 'I can't do it.'

'But,' she said, a feeling of helplessness overcoming her. 'how will I get home?'

'Get the train,' he said in a voice that suggested this was blatantly obvious.

'Yes, yes, I suppose I could. I have a timetable somewhere.' She set her bag on the floor, crouched down and started rummaging in it with one hand, the other still holding the phone to her ear. 'I can't find it!' she cried.

'Calm down. Do you not think you're over-reacting a bit, Lucy? He is only a dog, after all.'

A cold chill ran down her spine and she stood up, abandoning bag and folder. 'But don't you understand? He's always been there for me. I used to tell him things I never told another living soul. Until you came into my life.'

Oren made a noise like he was sucking air in through his teeth. 'He hasn't got a soul, Lucy. He's a dumb animal.'

Lucy's face burned and she wanted to tell him to shut up.

'And it sounds to me like you love that animal more than you love G.o.d.'

Was this true? She certainly loved m.u.f.fin as much as G.o.d, as much as Oren. Was that a sin? 'What's wrong with loving something G.o.d created?'

'The problem with sin, Lucy, is that it manifests itself in so many different ways. That's why we have to be vigilant all the time,' he said, jumping on the opportunity to deliver a mini-sermon, rather than answering her question. 'Nowhere in the Bible does it say that animals have souls. If they did they'd be our equals and they're not. They're there to serve mankind. If you were familiar with Genesis, you'd know that. Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.'

'But ... if m.u.f.fin doesn't have a soul then he won't go to heaven.'

'Of course he won't go to heaven,' chuckled Oren. 'Honestly Lucy, you crack me up sometimes.' And when she didn't say anything, he added, mockingly, 'You didn't seriously think he would, did you?'

'I don't have time for this, Oren,' she said quickly. 'I have a train to catch. I'll be back tomorrow.'

'Ring me,' he said. 'Ring me and let me know how it goes, will you?'

She hung up and scowled at the phone, finding fault with Oren for the very first time. How could he be so cold and unfeeling? He was wrong about m.u.f.fin. m.u.f.fin did have a soul and an understanding beyond human comprehension. Even when her parents never noticed, m.u.f.fin knew when she'd been teased at school, when she was sad and lonely. All his life he had given patient love, enduring friendship and he had asked nothing in return. She would not let him down now. Being there at the end, as he breathed his final breath, was the very last thing she would do for him. She picked up her bag and folder, and started to run.

Lucy knelt on the floor of the surgery recovery room with m.u.f.fin's head on her lap. The room was warm and smelt of disinfectant and animals. Lucy looked up at her father, her face encrusted with dried tears, her eyes swollen and sore. She'd kept the promise she'd made to herself on the train from Belfast she had not wept nor sobbed nor clung hysterically to m.u.f.fin. She'd cradled him in her arms and whispered to him softly while he took his last breath and stilled. Dignity in death was her last, loving gift to him.

'He's gone,' said Dad simply and Lucy nodded and looked down at m.u.f.fin again. His mouth was slightly open revealing yellowed teeth and creamy drool dripped onto the thigh of her jeans. He looked peaceful, as if he was asleep. She stroked the top of his head, feeling the bone underneath the thin layer of skin and fur, noticing how grey he'd become behind the ears. Then, very gently, she eased his head off her lap and onto the blanket. Matt stood with his head bent, one hand in his trouser pocket, the other around Jennifer's shoulder. She pressed a scrunched-up handkerchief to her mouth and she looked awful she'd no make-up on and her hair looked like it needed a good wash.

Lucy got to her feet and the four of them stood silently for a few moments staring down at m.u.f.fin's body. And Lucy was filled with a wave of panic. m.u.f.fin was the last link with her childhood, the last connection to the only time when she had been truly happy. He'd been there for her through her parents' divorce and the subsequent horrible teenage years. She felt suddenly, desperately alone.

Dad, who had been so brave up until this moment, let out a stifled sob. Lucy took his hand and he smiled thinly. 'Why don't the three of you go next door to the waiting room?' he said, professional once more. 'Mary'll get you a cup of tea while I get m.u.f.fin ready.'