Sean's Reckoning Part 12

His expression brightened. "Sure."

Deanna set one piece in front of him but put the second piece in the refrigerator.

"You're not eating any?" he asked.

"Just a bite of yours," she said, pulling two forks out of the drawer. "I'm not that hungry. Do you mind?"

"Of course not," he said.

He leaned back and watched while she proceeded to eat most of the slice. A few minutes later Deanna stared at the empty plate with chagrin. "Why on earth didn't you stop me?"

"There's something kind of erotic about a woman with a healthy appet.i.te," he said.

"Even when she's stealing the food off your plate?"

He leaned forward and wiped a crumb from the corner of her mouth. "Even then," he said solemnly, his gaze locked with hers. "I'm sorry, Deanna."

Her head seemed to be spinning. "For?"

"Trying to run your life. I know it's not my place, but I hate seeing what all this work is doing to you." He traced a finger under her eyes. "You're exhausted. The proof's right here."

"That's no way to lift a woman's spirits," she pointed out.

"I have to call 'em like I see 'em."

She sighed. "Sean, I realize you only take on my lifestyle because you care. I suppose I'm just not used to anyone besides Ruby caring whether I'm worn-out or not. It makes me uncomfortable."

"I can't promise to stop caring," he said, regarding her solemnly. "But I'll try to stop ha.s.sling you."

"That would be nice," she said. "And I'll try to stop overreacting when you lose your head and do it again."

He gave her a rueful look. "You're so sure I'll forget my promise?"

"I'm certain of it," she said. "But, oddly enough, I think that's one of the things I like best about you."

"Care to name any of the others?"

She laughed, suddenly feeling better. "Stop fishing for compliments."

"You know, Deanna, one of these days we're going to have to deal with the real issue between us."

She swallowed hard at the suddenly solemn expression on his face. "What issue is that?" she asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know.

"The fact that I want you," he said simply.

Desire curled through her like the warmth of a fire on a cold winter night. She refused to let herself look away from the heat in his eyes. "I guess that's plain enough," she said, her voice unsteady despite her best efforts to seem blase.

A smile tugged at his lips. "You're not going to admit it, are you?"

"Admit what?"

"That you want me, too."

She drew herself up and inquired in her best imitation of a haughty princess speaking to a peasant, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

To her surprise, Sean laughed.

"Nice try, darlin', but you're not going to win any prizes for your acting."

"I am not acting," she said irritably.

"One kiss says otherwise."

"Are you daring me to kiss you, Sean Devaney?"

"Yep."

"Well, you can just forget it. I don't have to prove anything to you."

"Then you don't mind if I go right on believing what I want to believe?"

She leveled a look straight at him. "Up to you. I can't control what you think."

"But you can prove me wrong," he countered mildly. "Or rather, you can try."

"That is so..." She couldn't think of a word to describe just how low she thought he'd sunk, but finally settled on the first one that came to mind. "Juvenile. That's what it is, juvenile."

He didn't seem especially offended by the accusation. In fact, he merely shrugged. "I've been called worse."

"I'm not surprised."

"Can I ask you a question?"

She studied him suspiciously. "About?"

"What the h.e.l.l did your ex-husband put you through to make you so suspicious of all men?"

The question caught Deanna completely by surprise. Sean had never shown any interest in her relationship with Frankie before. And her ex-husband was not a subject she liked discussing.

"Isn't it enough that he walked out before Kevin was born and left me on my own?"

"That's pretty rotten," Sean agreed. "But I have a feeling it was more than that."

"Such as?"

"Why waste time with me speculating? I'm asking you for an explanation."

Deanna thought back to her brief marriage. She'd gone into it with stars in her eyes, convinced she was madly in love and that Frankie felt the same way. Barely eighteen, she had defied her parents, walked away from a promised college education, given up everything and everyone to be with the charming rogue who'd stolen her heart.

But Frankie had been after more than her heart. To Deanna's everlasting embarra.s.sment, she finally realized he'd been after her trust fund. That money was the only reason he'd been willing to make a commitment to her. After the wedding, when he'd finally understood there was no way either of them were going to get their hands on it, he'd lost interest and moved on to someone a little older, a little richer, someone whose parents hadn't disowned her.

The humiliation had been almost unbearable. There was no way Deanna could bring herself to crawl back to her parents to ask for help, which, of course, was precisely what Frankie had a.s.sumed she'd do. To this day she doubted he knew the dire straits in which he'd left her.

Despite Ruby's urging her to tell her folks what had happened and that they had a grandson, Deanna had been determined to make it entirely on her own. Though the court had awarded her child support, she'd never expected to see a dime of it, not from a man who'd expected to be supported by her family. So far she'd done a pretty lousy job of triumphing over the past, but at least she hadn't had to listen to an endless tirade of "I told you so." One day, when she was really and truly back on her feet, she would contact her parents, but not now.

In the meantime, there were all those scars, the ones that made her question her judgment, the ones that made her distrust all men. Not that anyone could possibly be after her for her money now, she thought, barely stifling a laugh.

She felt Sean's warm, steady gaze on her and finally lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Where'd you go just then?" he asked.

"Back in time," she said wearily.

"Obviously not a happy time."

"No," she said succinctly.

"Will you tell me sometime?"

"Probably not," she said.

"Because you can't talk about it?"

"That's one reason." There were others, though. She didn't want his pity, and she certainly didn't want him realizing what an idiot she was for being taken in so easily.

"Did you love him that much?" Sean asked quietly.

She had. That was the worst joke of all. She had really loved Frankie, at least the man she'd thought he was. She'd had some sort of Romeo and Juliet fantasy about the two of them defying all the obstacles in their path to live happily ever after.

"Truthfully?" she said wearily. "I didn't even know him."

Sean couldn't forget what little Deanna had revealed about her relationship with her ex-husband. Nor could he keep himself from speculating about all that she'd left unsaid. It was just one more mystery to be unraveled, one more facet to add to this fascination he couldn't seem to shake.

And despite all his promises to stop hovering over her, he couldn't seem to stop himself from worrying about the almost driven way she continued to live her life. It went beyond survival instinct. It had something to do with the past. He was sure of it.

Despite her boss's promise to help her win a settlement from her landlord, as far as Sean could see, Deanna was still working herself to death. He was d.a.m.ned proud of the fact that he managed to keep from b.u.t.ting in, hauling her home and barring the door until she got at least twenty-four straight hours of sleep. But every time he saw her, the circles under her eyes were darker, the weariness in her shoulders more evident.

Even though he'd resolved to keep silent, he couldn't stop himself from doing what he could to keep an eye on her. Something told him she was nearing the end of her rope, and he intended to be nearby whenever possible in case she needed him. What had begun as a resolution to make sure Kevin was well looked after became an obsession to do the same for Deanna.

"You know, Sean, I like Joey's food as well as the next guy, but do we have to eat there every night?" Hank inquired as they left the firehouse.

"Yes," Sean said tersely. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair as he regarded the whole group of firefighters apologetically. "Look, I really appreciate the fact that you guys are willing to go there."

"Not a problem," the others chorused. "Especially if you keep paying."

Sean winced at the reminder. He figured if Deanna found out about that, she'd be furious that he was wasting his money just to keep her under surveillance.

As the other men drifted away, Sean faced Hank. "The truth is, I'm worried about Deanna."

"Why? What's up?" Hank asked, his expression instantly filled with genuine concern. "Her ex isn't stalking her or something, is he?"

"No. But she's tired and on edge. She can't keep up this pace forever."

"And this is your problem because?" Hank asked, though his eyes were dancing with undisguised amus.e.m.e.nt.

"Because I've made it my problem," Sean returned. "Besides, I don't know what you're complaining about. Tonight is spaghetti night. You're bound to run into Ruby."

Hank looked decidedly uncomfortable at the reminder. Sean studied him intently. "Is that a problem?"

"No," Hank said tersely.

Even though his expression warned against further questions, that didn't stop Sean from asking, "You sure about that?"

"Leave it alone, okay? My relationship with Ruby is none of your business."

"That can cut both ways, you know. I can tell you to b.u.t.t out of my relationship with Deanna, as well."

Hank's laugh held little mirth. "As if you two actually have one."

Sean's gaze narrowed. "Relationships aren't just about s.e.x, you know."

"Is that so?" Hank retorted sarcastically. "Enlighten me, then. What are they about?"

"I'm not surprised you don't know," Sean said. "Since you've always been a wham-bam kind of guy."

Hank threw up his hands. "Forget it. I ask a serious question and I get wisecracks. Who needs it?" He walked out of the station and slammed the door behind him, leaving Sean staring after him.

Well, well, well, he thought. Hank was neck deep in water and floundering. He recognized the signs because he was pretty much in over his head himself.

Sighing heavily, he went after his partner to make amends. He found Hank sitting on the running board of the fire truck, looking despondent.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize she was really getting to you," he told Hank.

Hank scowled up at him. "I never said-"

Sean cut him off. "Save it, okay? Just save it. If you can't tell me the truth, who can you tell?"

For a minute he thought Hank might stand up and throw a punch, but he finally shrugged. "Okay, I'm falling for her," he admitted. "There. I've said it. Are you satisfied?"

Sean grinned. "It's a start."

"I don't hear you admitting that you're crazy about Deanna," Hank said sourly.

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm not as in touch with my feelings as you are."