Sea Legs Part 2

Jo went ahead to stake out a couple of chairs under an umbrella. Kelly soon followed and handed her the cold drink.

aI was thinking some more about your questionaabout what Sarahas like? I left off the thing I like most.a aWhatas that?a aShe always treats me special when I come in. Like sheall save back something if itas the last one and she knows I like it. Or if itas crowded, sheall have mine ready when I get up to the counter. It makes me feel good.a aWhat do you do special for her?a She shrugged. aWhatever I can. Like sheall get busy and Iall go around and pick up plates and napkins.a aYou ever show up at closing and walk her home?a aNow that would be like asking her out. I told you, Iam too chicken for that.a aWhy? Itas just a walk home.a Kelly chided herself. Here she was giving advice on picking up girls, and she hadnat had a date since moving to Rochester two years ago.

aMaybe one of these days.a Jo stretched out in the chair. aWake me up when the bus is pulling out. Or when the sun hits my feet.a aYou got it. Iam going to go check out the souvenirs.a Kelly grabbed her wallet and walked back to the shaded area, where she was instantly accosted by several brightly clad women shouting all at once for her to buy their pretty trinkets. She didnat need anything, and no one back in New York was expecting a gift, but she wanted to support the local economy.

aThis look good on you,a a woman said, holding up a black coral choker with a carved sea turtle.

Not bad, she thought. A simple necklace she could wear to dress up her beach clothes. It might even look good with the white shirt and black suit she had brought along for formal night. aHow much?a aTwenty dollar.a She held it up for inspection. It wasnat elaborately made, but it should hold together for the next two weeks. aDid you make it?a The girl nodded. aFifteenatwelve.a aFifteen is fine. Itas a fair price.a She dropped it into her backpack and studied the other items on display. Nothing fancyanothing on these tables that might make a nice gift for someone like Natalie, who had impeccable taste when it came to jewelry. Her earrings, bracelets and necklaces seemed to match perfectly and complement whatever she chose to wear.

At the end of the row, a thin, dark-skinned man stared out at the lagoon. aYou enjoy our pretty beach?a he asked, his accented English easily understood.

aVery much.a She looked out across the water again, remembering the things she had enjoyed about Key West. aItas beautiful.a aTake it with you.a He reached for a woven bag and pulled out several small watercolors. aI paint them every hour. This is your hour, the water as you see it.a aWow.a She knew she had squandered her bargaining position, but he had brilliantly captured the color of the water in the afternoon light. aTen dollars, right?a aFifty.a She smiled to herself and opened her wallet. Natalie would love it.

Chapter 6.

Natalie pushed her shopping bags through the X-ray machine on the ship and walked around to pick them up from the other side. For once, shopping had been an afterthought, a last-minute frenzy through the vendors at the entrance to the dock, all because she had offered to pick up something for Didi.

Her day in Old San Juan had been fascinating, especially the fort Kelly had mentioned, where Julie had joined their group. The two of them peeled off after lunch, and while that gave them a chance to get to know each other, the best part for Natalie was knowing she was freeing Steph and Yvonne for some private time. Though they hadnat made her feel unwelcome, it was obvious they were looking forward to enjoying their afternoon on their own.

Almost as soon as they parted, Natalie had second thoughts, as Julie turned out to be possibly the biggest flirt she had ever met. The Aussie made no secret of her interest in anything Natalie put on the table, so much that Natalie found herself steering topics away from the personal and back to the quaint characteristics of Old San Juan.

aThereas a show tonight,a Julie said invitingly, hooking her arm through Natalieas as they started up the stairs.

aSteph mentioned that this morning,a she lied. aWe planned to go right after dinner and get good seats. Why donat you and your sister join us?a Julieas disappointment that it wouldnat be a solo date was obvious, but she agreed. aThis is my deck,a she said after two flights. She planted a kiss on Natalieas cheek. aThank you for a lovely afternoon. Maybe weall do this again tomorrow in St. Thomas.a Natalie smiled wanly and nodded. She had never been good at fending off suitors, a trait she a.s.sociated with her Southern upbringing where the polite thing was to accept all invitations graciously. That had generally led to more dead-end dates than she wanted, since she usually formed her opinion of a woman within the first few minutes, an hour at the most. Julie was pretty, interesting and sweet, but prompted no spark at all. And while Natalie had given herself tacit permission to have a meaningless fling aboard shipa"especially one that had the potential to make Didi jealousa"she wasnat the sort to go through the motions when it came to s.e.x. Either she was swept up in the heat, unable to rein in her pa.s.sion after sharing a fiery kiss, or she couldnat be bothered.

She was pleased to find Kelly already back in their stateroom. All morning she had felt guilty for turning down the offer to share the day, though she had rationalized that it would have meant asking Kelly to give up her active plans in favor of a lazy stroll around town. aHow was your bike ride?a aYou would have loved it, but I wonat rub it in, especially since you obviously had a good time yourself.a She gestured to the shopping bags. aI saw the vendors packing up and figured you bought them all out.a Natalie spread her bags out on her bed. aI bought a few gifts to take to the girls at the store. Then I found something I thought looked like you, so I bought it.a Kellyas eyebrows lifted in surprise. aSomething that looked like me? Iam almost afraid to ask.a She found the right bag and reached inside. aYou donat have to wear it. Well, maybe you do, just to humor me for a night or two.a Kellyas eyes lit up at the black coral necklace with the carved dolphin. aOh, wow! I love it.a Natalie beamed, pleased with herself for finding just the right statement for Kelly, eye-catching without being too prissy. The trinket had cost her only twelve dollars, the bargain of the day considering the smile it had produced. aLet me put it on you.a She looped it around Kellyas neck and fastened it in the back. Then she situated the dolphin so that it rested in the hollow of her throat. aItas definitely you.a Kelly whirled around to check her look in the mirror. aItas perfect. Thank you.a aAm I forgiven for not coming along?a aAbsolutely.a Natalie was delighted at Kellyas reaction, a beautiful smile that boasted perfect white teeth and tiny dimples on both cheeks. She hadnat noticed those before. aI promise I wonat go looking for matching earrings and make you wear those too.a aThank you, because Iad really hate to hurt your feelings.a Kelly reached into her backpack and produced a small canvas. aI got you something too. Itas a painting of what you missed today.a aOh, my goodness. Itas beautiful.a Kelly nodded vigorously. aSo was the lagoon. I really wish youad been there.a She was touched by Kellyas thoughtfulness. aNow Iam sorry I didnat go with you.a aYou can make up for it if you come snorkeling with me tomorrow in St. Thomas.a aMe jumping off a boat? Thatall be the day.a aYou donat swim?a Kelly flopped on the small couch and crossed her feet on the coffee table.

aI know how, but I havenat been swimming in years. Lake Erie just doesnat hold all that much appeal.a aYou canat compare the Caribbean to Lake Erie. The water here is spectacular. Bright coral and a thousand different species of fish. Even a shark if youare lucky.a aIf Iam lucky? Now I know Iam not going.a In fact, she had been tempted to do something out of the ordinary, but only barely. Making a fool of herself on a bike was one thing, but in water over her head?

aDonat say no yet. Just think about it.a The idea was growing on her, but she would have to get up her nerve. aHave you heard anything from next door?a aTheyare out on the balcony.a Natalie took her other gifts outside and leaned around the divider. Didi and Pamela sat in deck chairs, both of them looking bored and miserable. aHow are you feeling, ladies?a aSuicidal,a Didi said. aThe stomach thing is over, but they still wonat let us leave our stateroom. By the way, I had to swear wead had no contact with anyone so donat get caught leaning over or theyall lock you up too.a aI brought you these.a She had picked up two pairs of earrings, long dangly sh.e.l.ls decorated with brightly colored coral beads. aYou can fight over who gets what.a Didi rolled her eyes. aJust what we needa"something else to fight over.a aThank you, Natalie,a Pamela said graciously. aI apologize for Didias lack of manners.a aWhatad I do?a Natalie chuckled to herself, remembering what a grouch Didi could be, especially when she was sick. Despite her feelings for Didi, she was happy to let Pamela deal with her in this state.

Kelly fingered the dolphin pendant as they entered the dining room. The turtle necklace she had bought for herself, almost identical to this one, was tucked away in a corner of her drawer, destined as a gift for someone in the city planning office. The dolphin trinket wasnat an extravagant gesture, but it was a welcome sign that Natalie liked heraor at least that she didnat dislike her. Up until now, it had been hard to tell.

She gave a small wave to Jo as they walked past the table, and was surprised when Natalie abruptly stopped.

ah.e.l.lo, you must be Jo. I hear you did the bike tour today too.a Kelly was taken aback, since she hadnat told Natalie about her bike ride at all.

aAnd I bet youare Natalie. Julieas been talking about you nonstop.a That explained itamuch to Kellyas chagrin, since Jo had described her sister as being on the prowl. From the smile on Natalieas face, she was probably happy to be pursued.

Jo frowned and pointed at her necklace. aI thought youa"a aIsnat this great? Natalie picked it up for me.a She shot Jo a wink as they continued on to their table.

Kelly gallantly held the chair for Natalie to sit as she greeted the others.

aAnother night without Didi and Pamela,a Yvonne said, elbowing Steph. aYou could have gotten away with wearing that turquoise pantsuit Didi hates so much.a aAnd I could have worn my carpenter pants,a Kelly added with a chuckle.

aIave seen those,a Steph said. aTheyare real carpenter pants. I can just picture a hammer hanging off the back, paint smears on the kneesaa aWhat exactly do you do?a Natalie asked.

aIam a building inspector for the City of Rochester. I check to make sure everything has been done to code, and then I issue a certificate of occupancy.a aThatas when I saw Kelly the first time,a Steph explained. aI didnat know who she was though until Yvonne asked her to dinner. You know that condo project over by the river that I sell every now and then? I had to wait on one of them while Kelly issued the CO.a aDid you learn about construction in the navy?a Yvonne asked.

Kelly was pleased that the conversation had moved away from fashiona"one of her least favorite topicsa"and onto her job, which she was more than happy to talk about. aActually, my dad was a general contractor. My brother and I grew up in the business and we learned all the trades.a aWhat do you mean by all the trades?a aThe usual construction jobsacarpentry, plumbing, roofing, drywall.a Yvonne elbowed Steph. aToo bad she didnat blow out her knee back when we were remodeling the kitchen.a aHey!a Natalieas face lit up. aYouare just the person I need to talk to about my house. Steph made me buy a Victorian in Corn Hill, but it needs a lot of work.a aI love those old houses. How many rooms?a aThree bedrooms upstairs, but only one bath.a aSo you want to add a bathroom?a aWhat I really wantaa"she looked at the othersa"aSorry, guys. Talk amongst yourselves.a aI want to hear this too,a Yvonne said. aI canat believe weare finally having a dinner together where the main topic is something besides what everyone in the room is wearing.a Natalie shifted in her seat to talk directly to Kelly. aI want to enlarge the master bedroom and add a bath. I donat care if I lose a bedroom. And then I want a half bath downstairs off the kitchen, and all-new cabinets and counters.a aSo youare probably looking at replumbing the whole house. And if youare taking out interior walls, you might as well rewire it too.a Throughout dinner, she laid out in detail the typical steps in such a renovation. Natalie had obviously given her remodeling ideas a great deal of thought, and peppered her with questions about materials and costs. Their conversation continued as they made their way to the theater for the evening variety show.

aWhat really matters is what youare planning to do with your house in the long run. Everything you put into a remodel affects the resale value, but if you plan to live there, you give more weight to things you want to enjoy every day.a Natalieas face fell suddenly, her enthusiasm giving way to doubt. aI really donat know what my plans are. I might live there for forty years, or I might sell it next year and move to Manhattan.a Kelly picked up a trace of resignation in her tone, and figured it all had to do with Natalieas uncertainty about Didi. aWhich one of those would make you happier?a Absently following Steph to take a seat in the middle of the row, Natalie lowered her voice and answered pensively, aWhat good is a house if I have to live there by myself?a aThat depends on what you make it.a Kelly sat next to her, resisting the urge to give her thigh a rea.s.suring pat. aA home can be a lot more than a house, but it wonat be worth much if you have to sacrifice what your heart really wants.a Natalie took her applause cues from those seated around her. Distracted by Kellyas pointed question on what would make her happy, she was glad when the show ended, and eager for an active diversion. She needed to clear her head of the gloomy thoughts, especially her doubts about a future with Didi. Otherwise, her dour mood would keep her awake all night.

aAnyone up for a drink?a Kelly asked.

She almost declined when the others called it a night, but the idea of returning to the stateroom still dwelling on her uncertainty seemed like a recipe for depression. She followed Kelly to the dark observation lounge on the upper deck, where they settled into a comfortable booth and ordered drinks, a German beer for Kelly and a gla.s.s of red wine for herself.

Kelly raised her drink in a toast. aHereas to new friendships. I canat tell you how glad I am to meet a group of women from Rochester who arenat hanging out at the bars or the ball fields.a aI was lucky when I moved to New York. Steph and Yvonne had lots of friends, and they accepted me right awaya"even though they all said I talked funny.a aYour accent isnat all that p.r.o.nounced, and besides, I like it. My chief petty officer was from Alabama and I could have listened to her chew my a.s.s out all day.a Natalie recalled how Didi had mocked her for laughs when they first met. It had taken getting angry about it to finally get her to stop. aIave lost a lot of it in the last twelve years, but whenever I go back to Pascagoula for a visit it gets me drawling again.a aHow often do you go back?a aEvery couple of years. I used to go back every Christmas, but when Didi and I got together she wanted me to spend the holidays with her. Now I have an excuse because itas the busiest time of the year.a aDidi wouldnat go with you?a aOh, Lord, no! In the first place, she never had any desire to see Mississippi, but that was fine by me. My family would have done an intervention if Iad come home with a woman.a aThey donat know youare a lesbian?a aThey probably do, but they donat want to see it or hear about it. Thatas why I left in the first place, so I could have a life.a aSounds like aDonat ask, donat tella in the navy.a aWhenever I went home I had to pretend I lived in a total vacuum. No life at all.a She couldnat keep the bitterness from her voice. aBoth of my sisters are perfect, you see. Republican husbands and so many children Iave lost track of their names. I just have to plaster a smile on my face and tell them no, Iam not dating anyone, and I have no particular desire to get married or have children. Then they look at each other and shake their heads, like theyave lost all hope. I just keep telling myself their opinion of me doesnat matter.a Kelly nodded, as if in agreement with every word. aThatas all you can do with anybody. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.a The waiter interrupted to check on them and Kelly ordered another round.

It had taken Natalie the last twenty years to feel good about herself, and much of that she owed to Didias guidance on how to make herself more attractive. Steph had characterized the constant critique as a putdown, but Natalie couldnat dispute that she generally looked better when she took Didias advice. It was amazing how her confidence grew when she knew she looked good. Even her sisters had remarked on her new appearance, though they couldnat understand why it mattered if she wasnat interested in a man. She asked Kelly, aDo you see a lot of your family?a Kelly shook her head. aNot much anymore. My brother and I didnat really get along growing up. He was Mike, Jr., the chip off the old block. I tried to compete with him for Dadas attention as a kid, but it didnat really matter what I did. He was always Dadas favorite, hands down.a aWhat about your mother?a aShe went into a coma when I was six and died a few months later without ever waking up. Dad always said she had a reaction to some medicine she was taking, but my grandmother said she took too much because she was trying to kill herself.a Natalie was mesmerized by both the story and Kellyas somber face. aThatas terrible.a aI donat know which is saddera"the fact that she might have died so young by accident, or that her life was so miserable she didnat want to live anymore. I try not to think about it too much.a aThatas so sad.a No matter how much distance she felt from her own family, Natalie doubted her life had been as painful as Kellyas. aAnd it must have been hard on your father to raise two children on his own.a aHe was pretty wrapped up in his business. Thatas why I started working there, so I could be with him more. Then he had a stroke while I was in the navy and asked me to come home and help Mike out. I worked the business with my brother until he died.a It was no wonder Kelly looked and dressed the way she did, Natalie thought, considering she had grown up without a mother figure, competing for her fatheras affections by trying to emulate her big brother. She leaned back and sipped her wine, now intent on learning as much as she could about Kelly, who was fast becoming someone she wanted for a friend. aWhat brought you to Rochester?a aIt was time to part company with Mike. Head been cutting corners on some of his projects for years, and I knew that would catch up with him eventually. I just hope he sells out to somebody else before he gets caught and ruins the family name.a aHow did your father feel about you being a lesbian?a aWe didnat talk about it much, but he knew. I didnat date a lotajust hung out at the pool hall like a baby d.y.k.e.a Kelly grinned at that last bit, flashing the dimples Natalie had noticed earlier. Her features seemed softer in the dim light, distinctly feminine. Natalie was willing to bet the older butch lesbians thought Kelly was a prize. aI bet you had a lot of girlfriends.a aBelieve it or not, only one, and that was when I joined the navy. I met Sandra on the base at Key West and we were together for a couple of years, but we had to be really careful about people finding out. She got shipped out to Guam just before my tour was up. I asked about getting stationed over there if I re-enlisted, but they planned to send me to Jacksonville.a aThatas awful. You and Sandra must have been devastated.a Kelly tipped her bottle upward and drained the last of her beer. aIt was hard at first, but I sort of expected it. She wanted a career in the navy and I was already getting noise about coming back to Buffalo.a Natalie nodded in commiseration. aStillaI remember how lost I felt after I graduated from Ole Miss and went back to Pascagoula. I missed Steph and Yvonne so much I thought Iad die. I went up there to visit every chance I got.a aIam sure it felt good to follow your heart on that one.a Kelly waved toward the waiter and gestured for another round, their third. aSo what does your heart want to do now?a Natalie was determined not to let the question unsettle her as it had at dinner. aI donat have a clue. It feels like it changes from one day to the next.a aYou still have feelings for Didi, right?a aPlease tell me it isnat that obvious.a Kelly shook her head. aIt isnat. I just got that impression from Yvonne when she was giving me the lowdown on how you all knew each other.a aDidi and I were together for six years, but to be honest, the last three or four were just sort of blah. Work took over everything and we got so we went home at night to different parts of the house. Iall spare you the ugly details, but we finally split up a couple of years ago.a She shuddered at the memory, and took another drink of wine. aOnce we got away from each other, we started being friends again. I thought we might work it all out, but then she met Pamela and that was it.a aDo you still love her?a aApparently.a She remembered her conversation with Steph, but doubted she could articulate complicated feelings tonight, as she noticed for the first time the alcoholas effects. aI like being with somebody who makes me feel good about myself.a aDidi does that?a aShe helps me feel pretty.a aI have news for you, Natalie Chatham.a Kellyas dimples appeared as a smile crept across her face. aYou can feel pretty without Didias help.a Her lips turned up in a smile. aI think I might be a little drunk.a Kelly chuckled. aThatas okay. Someone else is driving.a She pushed her beer aside and stood. aMaybe we should call it a night while we still have our sea legs.a Natalie hooked her hand into Kellyas elbow as they walked back to their stateroom. She was comfortable with Kelly, far more than she would have expected. It was probably the wine. aI want to make Didi jealous,a she blurted.

Kelly patted her hand. aConsidering sheas in quarantine and youare out having a good time, I bet she probably already is.a aNo, I mean jealous of me being with somebody else. I bet Julie would help me.a aJulie from Australia?a Natalie nodded seriously. aShe likes me. I can tell.a aYou want to have an affair with her?a aNot a real one. Just a pretend one.a Her words were slurring. aSo Didi will see what sheas missing.a aI get it.a Kelly chuckled. aExcept I donat think Julie has pretending in mind.a Natalie scowled. A real affair was out of the question. She didnat feel attracted to Julie that way. Heck, she thought, she felt more for Kelly than for Julie.

Chapter 7.

Kelly set the coffee on the nightstand and debated the merits of waking her roommate. If the low, steady snore was any indication, Natalie had enjoyed the Sleep of the Dead. However, they were sailing into St. Thomas one hour from now and Kelly remembered from a cruise video that it was a particularly beautiful entry, one she wanted Natalie to see.

Their long talk last night in the lounge had Kelly feeling they were firmly on the path toward friendship, though she didnat discount the impact three gla.s.ses of wine might have had on loosening Natalieas tongue. It had certainly brought out her southern drawl. What Kelly appreciated most was how they had talked not of trivialities but of the pivotal events that had shaped their lives. That was a foundation for understanding each other.

After hearing how Natalie felt marginalized by her family, it was easy to see why she craved validation, even in the form of critical judgment from someone like Didi.

She thought back to the embarkation only three days ago, when she and Yvonne had leaned over the atrium to watch the others arrive on board. Pamela was the one who had stood out that day, her long blond hair and youthful figure prominently setting her apart from the others. After their up-close meeting Pamela no longer held that appeal. In the first place, a woman looked different when she was on someone elseas arm, and while Didi seemed fairly nonchalant about their relationship, it was obvious to Kelly that Pamela was devoted to her.

In the second place, it was Natalie who commanded her attention now. There was something about her beauty that was natural and cla.s.sic, and that persisted each morning even as she crawled out of bed with her face puffy and hair askew. Those unguarded moments cast her in a light far different from the one to which she seemed to aspire, the flawless look that only fashion and makeup could render on anyone. Natalieas was an everyday beauty, pure and artful, one that suited her years.

Kelly gently shook her shoulder. aNatalieacoffeeab.u.t.tery croissants.a A small smile played across Natalieas lips, but her eyes remained closed.

aScrambled eggsaripe, red tomatoesamore coffee.a aI donat smell any of those things.a aNo, but if you get up and get dressed, weall go get them. And we can watch the ship sail into port. Itas beautifulamountains all around the harbor.a Natalie opened one eye. aIam afraid to sit up. My head might crack open.a aAnd just think. Todayas New Yearas Eve. Youall have to do it all over again tonight.a She frowned.aI seriously doubt I could. Iave never been much of a drinker.a aThen you probably arenat up on all the new scientific studies.

Iave read that riding on a catamaran sailboat cures a hangover.a aMmmm. You read that, did you?a She sat up and pushed her hair from her face. aNot as bad as I thought it would be.a Kelly caught herself staring at a bare shoulder as Natalieas pajama top fell to one side. aUh, here you go.a She handed her the Styrofoam cup. aThe nectar of life.a aBless you.a She waited on the balcony while Natalie showered and dressed. They made it to the terrace buffet just as the ship entered the port.

aThis is lovely,a Natalie said as she took a table near the rail and gazed out onto the towering green hills that encircled the St. Thomas harbor. aIam glad you got me up to see it.a aThe snorkel site is out there on one of those islands,a Kelly said, pointing behind the ship. aIf you donat have plans already, you really ought to think about coming out for the ride. The water is clear all the way to the bottom. I bet youad be able to see the fish without even getting wet.a aIsnat Yvonne going?a aYes, and she said Steph was thinking about coming out too.a aSteph snorkeling? Sheas pulling your leg.a aI donat know about snorkeling, but she was going to come along for the ride.a Natalie c.o.c.ked her head to the side as she thought about it. aIam tempted, but I already told Julie Iad think about doing one of those carriage tours.a The mention of Julieas name ratcheted up Kellyas motivation to change her mind. aIave read that St. Thomas and St. John have the clearest water of all the islandsaand lots of species on the coral.a aHmmm. I canat think on an empty stomach. Shall I go get breakfast while you keep our table?a aSure.a No sooner had Natalie left than Yvonne took her place. She was dressed already for the boat outing, her swimsuit peeking out from underneath her tank top. aHowas it going, Kelly?a aCouldnat be better. Iam working on Natalie to get her to ride out with us on the catamaran today. Is Steph going?a aShe hasnat decided, but I bet she will if Natalie does. How are you two getting along?a aBetter than I thought we would at first,a she said, checking over her shoulder to make sure Natalie wasnat within earshot. aBut not as much as Iad like to.a aIt might be too late for that. Steph talked with Didi on the phone last night, and itas finally hit her that she might be too old for Pamela. Apparently she said something about getting back home and sorting things out with Natalie.a Yvonne lowered her voice. aWho happens to be coming up behind you.a Kelly absorbed the news with a wave of disappointment, though she couldnat help but be glad for Natalie, since getting back with Didi was what she ultimately wanted. Love was complicated, full of compromises and bargains. Once a couple invested six years together like those two had, it was probably easier to go back to the familiar with lessons learned than to start from scratch with someone new, especially when the friendship remained intact.

Besides, she admitted to herself, it was silly to think Natalie would go for someone the total opposite of what she was used to.

aDo you think I still have time to get a ticket on the catamaran?a Natalie asked.

Kelly leapt eagerly from her seat before she could change her mind. aIall go down to the excursion desk right now.a aGet Stephas too,a Yvonne called.

Even though her mood had been dampened by Yvonneas news, Kelly was still excited at the prospect of spending the morning with Natalie out on the water. Finally they were all doing something together. She didnat have many sophisticated friends like these. When the cruise was over and they returned to Rochester, she wanted to be part of this circle, and especially a friend and confidante of Natalieas.

aHey, mate. Where you headed today?a Jo appeared out of nowhere, dressed like Kelly in sandals and cargo shorts but with a T-shirt instead of a tank top.

aSnorkeling. You?a Jo rolled her eyes.aI promised Julie Iad do a carriage ride with her if she couldnat find someone else to go. Sheas been calling your friend Natalie ever since she got up, but n.o.body answers.a aNatalieas coming with me,a Kelly said proudly. aOh, and by the wayaa She fingered the dolphin hanging around her neck. aThanks for catching on about the necklace. I didnat tell her about the other one.a aSo you and Nataliea?a aJust friends. I like her, but what was it you said, that bit about pretty girls?a aPretty girls only like pretty girls.a aRight. But at least sheas mine today. Sorry about your sister.a She grinned. aWell, not really.a aLook at all those stores, Steph,a Natalie said wistfully as they walked to the end of the dock to board the catamaran. aWe could be shopping.a aThis will be way better,a Kelly said. aI promise youall have a good time.a Natalie took her hand as she climbed aboard the gently rocking vessel. The benches on the main level were filling up, so she followed Kelly upstairs to the sun deck. Yvonne and Steph were right behind. aIall never forgive you if you let me fall off.a aYouall be fine.a The catamaran soon pulled away from the dock on a wide circle around the ship.

aThereas Didi out on her balcony,a Kelly said as she stood to wave.

Natalie waved too, and grinned broadly when Didi finally noticed them and waved back. Pamela was nowhere in sight, a likely sign they were avoiding each other after being cooped up together for two solid days. She had no idea what Pamela was like under duress, but Didi would drive anyone crazy in a situation like that. aJust in case I havenat told you lately, thank you for not letting me eat the Waldorf salad,a she whispered.

aIam glad you listened. Otherwise Iad be out here by myself and itas way more fun with you.a Yvonne and Steph had moved to the other side of the deck and were staring off at the islands in the distance. Once again, Natalie acknowledged a small wave of guilt that she always seemed to take away their private time and vowed to be more conscious of her imposition. Abruptly, they got up and gathered their things.

aSteph canat deal with the sun,a Yvonne shouted above the roar of the flapping sail. aWeare going to find a s.p.a.ce down below.a Natalie turned back to see the wind blowing Kellyas fine hair off her forehead, revealing the surprisingly delicate face she had noticed last night. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched, as if sculpted by a cosmetologist, and her lips were full and soft-looking. There was no mistaking she was a woman, even with her trim, muscular physique and boyish board shorts.

aThereas a turtle!a Kelly said suddenly, pointing to a ripple in the water. The round sh.e.l.l was clearly visible from their perch. ad.a.m.n! I didnat bring my camera.a aI have mine.a aI meant my underwater camera. I could have dived down and gotten pictures of the coral so you could see what youare missing. Maybe Iad have seen another turtle up close.a aI thought snorkeling was swimming around on top of the water.a aIt is, but if you let the air out of your vest you can dive too, as long as you remember to hold your breath.a She pointed over the side again. aSee those dark places we pa.s.s over? Thatas either seaweed or coral. Thatas where all the fish are.a aI bet itas beautiful.a aSure you donat want to come? Iall get you a mask and fins.a Natalie shook her head vehemently. aIall enjoy it vicariously through you.a The catamaran coasted to a halt and a crewman tossed over the anchor. Then he dived off the side.

aWhatas he doing?a aSetting the anchor so we donat drift.a Another crewman called everyone to the back of the boat for instruction.

aYou donat have to come since youare not going in,a Kelly said.

Natalie watched from behind her sungla.s.ses as Kelly stripped down to her shorts and sports bra, showing off the muscles in her upper back. She felt a strange sense of loss as Kelly started down the stairs. A part of hera"an extremely small parta"wished she had come prepared to get into the water. Her logical side, however, was content to stay on the sun deck and watch.

When the instruction was complete, Kelly waved up at her and pulled her snorkel apparatus into place. Holding onto her mask with both hands, she stepped off the side and disappeared into a cloud of bubbles.

Natalie held her breath until she saw her emerge and swim off with Yvonne in the direction of the darker water. Periodically, they would vanish, only to reappear a few feet away. It was impossible not to envy their fun.

Her thoughts went back to Didi, who must have been astounded to see her sailing off, especially if Didi had a.s.sumed she was heading out to go snorkeling. Too bad Julie hadnat come along. That might have made Didi jealous, while her being with Kelly probably wouldnat.

Not that Kelly didnat have plenty of nice things to offer someone. She was attractive in a number of ways Natalie had noticed only in the last day or two. It wasnat just her fit body and decidedly feminine face. It was also her quick smile and dimples, and that she was always so attentive, holding chairs and opening doors. Natalie enjoyed the special treatment. She had never gotten that before, not from Didi or anyone else. It was nice to have someone fussing over her for a change, especially after she had done all the fussing with both Theresa and Didi.

Swimmers began returning to the boat, where a crewman helped them aboard and divested them of their rented gear.

Natalie scanned the surface for Kelly, finally spotting her swimming slowly toward the boat like a child who didnat want to leave the water until she had done one last lap. She waited eagerly for her to board and climb the stairs to the sun deck. Soon they were underway, headed back to the ship.

aHow was it?a aFabulous. The sun really lights up the coral. We were so lucky to get out here on a day like this.a aDid you see any fish?a aOnly a couple of million or so. Little blue and yellow parrotfish andaa"she held her hands aparta"aa grouper this big.a She wrapped her arms around her midsection. aIt feels cold once you get out of the water.a Natalie had already noticed Kellyas erect nipples straining against her sports bra. Furthermore, she observed that her b.r.e.a.s.t.s appeared larger than they had under her tank top. Not endowed, by any means, but definitely feminine. And while her legs were muscled, they were sleek like a womanas, not bulky like a manas. When she bent over to dry her legs, it was impossible not to see that her b.u.t.t was tight and round, accentuated by the cling of her wet shorts.

aDid you see anything nice from here?a Natalieas face went instantly hot. aI was looking atayou meana?a Kelly spun back around and leaned over the side. aLook. Thatas either a stingray or another turtle. I canat tell from here.a aI saw several schools of fish,a Natalie lied, realizing she had watched Kelly the whole time.

aYou really ought to come with me next time. Itas amazing how beautiful it is under there.a She wrapped the towel around her shoulders and stretched her legs in the sun. aIall swim with you the whole time.a aThat sounds like fun for one of us.a aIad love it. Half the fun is talking afterward about what you saw together.a Though she doubted she would actually get up the nerve to do it, she smiled to imagine how surprised her friends would be, especially Didi. In fact, the notion of shocking Didi held a lot of appeal. aYou better be careful what you ask for. If I come snorkeling with you, I might expect you to come shopping with me.a Kelly made an X with her index fingers, as though warding off a vampire. aI bet Iam way more afraid of shopping than you are of snorkeling.a aItall be great fun. You can wait in the fitting room while I bring you all the pretty sundresses to try on. Then we go looking for a matching purse anda"a aOh, no, you donat. There are few things more hideous than me in a sundress. Iad rather wear a clown suit.a Her voice took on a hint of agitation, as if shead had this conversation before.

aIam sorry. I was just playing.a Kelly looked away sheepishly. aYeah, I know. I overreacted.a She scrunched her nose and stared off into the distance. aWhen I was growing up, my aunts told my father he needed to get married again to a woman who could dress me up right. I heard that over and over until I was sick of it.a aOh, Kelly.a Natalie felt a wave of shame for being part of something so hurtful. aI wouldnat change anything about you. Please donat think Iam like them.a aI know youare not. It just called up those old memories for a second there. The day I left the navy was the last day I let someone else tell me how to dress.a aI bet you looked great in your uniform.a aAs a matter of fact, I cut quite a handsome figure, if I do say so myself. Maybe Iall show you a picture one of these days.a Natalie breathed an inward sigh of relief that Kelly had forgiven her for the callous remark. The catamaran pulled into the dock, which was lined with over a hundred shops catering to the cruise ships.

aI wonat make you go with me but I donat think I can resist all those shops. Theyare calling my name.a aAnd I hear a shower calling mine.a aSo I guess Iall see you back on the ship.a Kelly caught her arm as she started down the stairs. aThanks for coming out with us. I hope you had a good time.a aI had fun watching you guys have fun.a aAnd youall think about getting wet next time?a aIall think about it.a In the fitting room, Natalie twisted from side to side to study her reflection and smiled with satisfaction at her find, a dark green silk dress that tapered from her hip to just above her knee. With its plunging neckline, she appeared taller and slimmer, a look that would most certainly win Didias approval. Not that Didi would see this dress tonight. She and Pamela were quarantined for one more day, so they would miss the first of three formal nights at dinner.

She took her new dress to the sales counter. As she signed her credit card slip, Steph entered the store sporting a new straw hat with a hot pink sash.

aDid you have fun on the catamaran?a Natalie grinned. aKelly was right. Itas beautiful out there. How did you like it?a aI liked the ride. I discovered I had a signal on my phone and caught up with my office while they were in the water.a aYouare an incurable workaholic.a aHouses donat sell themselves. It looked like you and Kelly were having a good time. You like her?a aSheas nice. How well do you know her?a aWeave had her over for dinner a couple of times. She and Yvonne work out together at the gym sometimes. Other than that, not much.a aIam afraid I hurt her feelings today.a As they returned to the ship she related the conversation about Kelly trying on a dress. aShe said she was okay about it, but I still felt bad.a aI wouldnat worry about her. Sheas pretty easygoing.a aSometimes I think Iave been around Didi too much. I just look at somebody and blurt out whateveras in my head.a an.o.bodyas as bad about that as Didi. Yvonne tunes her out completely, and I always tell her I dress this way just to p.i.s.s her off. That usually shuts her up.a Natalie laughed. aIall have to remember that. Shutting her up was a skill I never mastered.a They reached the shipas gangway where a long line of pa.s.sengers waited to run their purchases through the X-ray machine.

aYou know, NatalieaI havenat made it much of a secret that Yvonne and I were glad to see you and Didi split up, because youare a lot nicer person than she is. I always hated the way she put you down all the time.a Natalie couldnat help feeling defensive, not only of Didi, but of her choice to stay with her all those years and to win her back if she could. aIave already explained that a million times. I never felt like she was putting me down. I always knew I looked good if I had her seal of approval, and that was a feeling I enjoyed.a Steph bobbed her head from side to side thoughtfully. aI guess. Phyllis saw it that way too. She says she learned a lot from Didi and it helped her make a good impression with her banking clients.a Phyllis Linder had been part of their group for a while before taking a job in Ithaca.

aDidi doesnat do it to be mean. Once I understood that, it was easy to accept her advice.a Steph pa.s.sed her shopping bag through the X-ray machine and picked it up on the other side. aI wonder how Kelly feels about being on the receiving end.a aIf her reaction today was any indication, it probably annoys her more than she lets on. But I love her att.i.tude. She dishes it right back. Sheas definitely somebody who likes who she is, and too bad if other people donat.a Steph looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. aSoacould you see yourself going out with somebody like Kelly?a aOh, no.a Natalie shook her head adamantly. aSheas not my type.a aI forgot. You donat like nice people.a She dodged a playful smack from Natalie. aI still think youare missing something. Kellyas hot. I know sheas not what youare used to, but I just love the way she carries herself, all laid back and self-confident. I canat believe you donat find that appealing.a Natalie shrugged. aIall admit sheas grown on me. Have you noticed her eyebrows? Theyare perfect. Iad give anything to have eyebrows like that.a aYou can have the eyebrows. I want her legs. Theyare like a gazelleas.a aAnd she has the cutest dimples. Whatas funny is that one minute she looks all strong and tough. Then she smiles and looks like a little girl.a They started up the stairs to their staterooms.

aSo you actually do like her,a Steph said. aThatas good, because I was beginning to think there was something wrong with your head.a Natalie stopped in her tracks, realizing too late that Steph had led her by the nose through the whole conversation.

Chapter 8.

Kelly checked her look in the full-length mirror on the back of the door, adjusting the dolphin necklace so it hung perfectly in the open neck of her stiff white shirt. It looked good with her black suit and polished shoes. Complementedathatas the word Natalie would use.

She sat on the couch to wait, smiling at the thought of her roommate who had been in the bathroom for over an hour getting ready for the formal dinner. It was beyond her what women did for that long, but she had little doubt Natalie would emerge looking like a million dollars, showing off whatever she had been hiding in that shopping bag.

The door finally opened. aCan you help me with this zipper?a She leapt to her feet and crossed the room, getting her first look at a gorgeous green c.o.c.ktail dress and the woman in it. aWow.a Natalie met her eyes in the bathroom mirror and smiled demurely as she pulled her hair off her neck. aI think I have a thread caught in it.a Kellyas fingers shook as she grasped the tab and eyed the expanse of skin between Natalieas neck and the base of her spine. With a gentle tug, she reluctantly guided the zipper to the top. aMark my word, you will be the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.a aEspecially with Didi and Pamela stuck in their room.a She fluffed her hair around the top of her shoulders before turning abruptly. aIam sorry. That was rude. What I should have said was thank you.a aYouare welcome.a Kelly watched mesmerized as Natalie turned back and applied her lipstick. aIall try not to stare.a aIam sure everyone will look nice tonight.a She touched the dolphin necklace and stepped back to take in Kellyas suit. aIam glad you like this black coral. It really complements your outfit.a Kelly stood perfectly still as Natalie brushed the lint from her shoulders.

aThis is a very nice suit.a aThank you. Believe it or not, I actually bought it in the womenas department,a she added.

Natalie smiled and fingered the lapel. aI know. I can tell by the cut. Menas jackets donat taper at the waist.a A small detail Kelly had never noticed. aI have a vest that goes with it, but I thought that was overkill. Besides, I plan to wear it without the jacket on our next formal night.a aIam sure that will look just as nice.a She held the door and walked behind Natalie down the narrow corridor, unable to take her eyes off her swaying hips. The dress fit her like a very tight glove.

It took them a moment to realize the reason for the line outside the dining room. aTheyare taking photos in front of the Christmas tree,a Kelly said, thinking she would love a picture with Natalie. aYou really should get one in that dress. It will help you remember where you were on New Yearas Eve.a aWe should wait until we can get one with all six of us. Wouldnat that be a nice memento?a Yes, but not the one Kelly wanted most. She followed Natalie out of line and directly into the dining room. Yvonne and Steph were already waiting, and gushed with praise for Natalieas new dress. Natalie returned the gesture, complimenting Stephas lavender silk brocade dress and Yvonneas embroidered tunic.

Over dinner, they talked about their plans for Tortola, the next dayas port. Yvonne and Kelly had signed up for a wreck dive. Steph and Natalie planned to tour the Baths at nearby Virgin Gorda.

aAnyone feeling brave tonight?a Yvonne asked as the waiter cleared their dessert plates. aAfter the show tonight, thereas a party in the Tropical Nightclub. I wouldnat mind ringing in the New Year out on the dance floor.a aThatas my girl,a Steph said with a grin. aOut and proud.a aI think itall be cool,a Yvonne said. aThere were two guys doing the jitterbug in the lounge last night and people were cheering them on.a Kelly studied Natalieas reaction, which was less than enthusiastic. It was hard to know if she was averse to the idea of dancing in general, or upset that she wasnat with Didi. She waited for Natalie to make the call.

aI wish Didi and Pamela werenat stuck in their room,a Natalie finally said. aIt would be more fun if all of us could be there.a aI have an idea.a Kelly picked up the wine list. aMaybe we can go to the show, dance awhile and then get a bottle of champagne and meet them out on the balcony. That way we can ring in the New Year together.a aThatas a wonderful idea.a Natalie looked to the others for support. aYou guys?a Steph chuckled. aI feel sorry for them, but not that sorry.a Yvonne jabbed her with an elbow.aSame here. Clearly, Kellyas a better person than we are.a aThatas because Kelly doesnat know Didi as well as we do,a Steph chimed in.

aFine,a Natalie said, setting her jaw firmly. aKelly and I will go by ourselves.a Natalie could feel Stephas eyes on her as she applauded the singersa final bow. Without looking, she leaned sideways and said, aIf youare thinking about giving me grief, donat.a aI canat believe youare going to pa.s.s up a New Yearas Eve dance to sit out on the balcony and listen to Didi grumble about what a miserable time sheas having. We both know she wouldnat do that for you.a aShe has a right to complain, Steph. Theyave been stuck in their cabin for three days. And itas New Yearas Eve. I think theyall appreciate the fact that not everyone has forgotten about them.a She didnat add that it was hard to forget them when she could hear them yelling at each other through the wall, nor that she had picked up a hint or two that the bloom was coming off the rose for Didi. If Natalieas instincts were right, it was a perfect time to remind Didi that she was still interested. aBesides, it wasnat my idea. It was Kellyas.a Kelly had jumped up as soon as the show ended to order a bucket of ice and champagne for their stateroom and was steadily making her way back to their table in the theater.

aSheas just trying to do whatever she thinks youall likeain case you havenat noticed.a Natalie looked at her with indignation. aNoticed what?a aThat Kelly is hanging on your every wordathat she watches for a chance to wait on you. Donat even try to tell me you arenat enjoying it.a She glanced sideways to gauge Kellyas proximity. aThatas just silly. If she were interested in me, why would she suggest a party with Didi?a aYou got me there, but I know what I see.a Natalie wasnat sure if she liked that idea or not. On the one hand, she had noticed the attention, and she couldnat help but be flattered by it. On the other, she was more focused than ever on winning Didi back, and things could get sticky if Kelly made an unwelcome overture. aI think youare imagining things. Weare just getting to know each other as friends. And whether you choose to believe me or not, Kelly isnat my type. Besides, I happen to be interested in someone else.a aRightaDidi.a Steph snorted. aIf you ask me, youad be better off with Kelly.a aI didnat ask you.a That came out sharper than she had intended, so to keep things light, she stuck out her tongue.

aBetter not do that with your roommate. Sheall think youare making a pa.s.s at her.a Natalie kicked at Stephas foot as Kelly arrived. aBehave yourself.a aI ordered the champagne. Theyall deliver it in about ten minutes.a aWe should go.a aKelly, if they drive you nuts, come on up to the Tropicana,a Yvonne said. aIall let you dance with my girlfriend.a aGood deal.a When they reached the hallway outside their stateroom, Natalie stopped, thinking she should put Stephas conjectures to rest. aYou donat have to miss the party upstairs for this, Kelly. For all I know, Didi and Pamela are asleep already. And even if they arenat, they might have plans of their own.a In which case, Natalie planned to guzzle the entire bottle of champagne and pa.s.s out on her bed.

Kelly slid her key card into the door and held it while Natalie pa.s.sed through. aIf this doesnat work out, maybe we could both go to the party.a aI should probably warn you that if I drink champagne, thereas a possibility Iall get drunk again tonight.a aAll the more reason for me to stick around,a Kelly said. aSomeone has to keep you from falling over the rail.a Now that Stephas impressions of Kellyas interest were top-of-mind, it was impossible not to read more into what might otherwise have been friendly support. As much as Natalie appreciated the attention, she didnat want to encourage anything when there was no chance she would reciprocate. aItas really nice of you to do this, but I feel bad about dragging you into this d.y.k.e drama. You probably think I have no morals when it comes to getting between Didi and Pamela, and you might be right.a Kelly pushed her hands into her pockets and rocked forward on her toes. aPeople canat help how they feel. If sheas right for you, I hope it works out.a aI just donat think weare finished. We hit a few b.u.mps in the road, and instead of dealing with them we split up because it was easy. It was okay at first, but I think all we really needed was a break from each other. Then Pamela came along and I think Didias enamored right now with the idea of having a younger woman on her arm, but once she gets it out of her system sheall realize what we had was the real thing.a aSometimes it takes getting hit over the head to realize what you want.a aI guess.a She stepped outside onto the balcony, satisfied she had put the issue of Kellyas attraction to rest with her talk of Didi.

Over her shoulder, Kelly was holding the door as their cabin steward set up the ice bucket with a bottle of champagne. Moments later she came outside and shut the door behind her.

aItas warm out here,a Natalie said. aPerfect for a balcony party.a aWe should let the bubbly chill a while, donat you think?a aMaybe I ought to call next door and tell them weare out here.a Kelly caught her elbow and spoke in a voice that seemed unusually loud. aWhy donat we wait a few minutes? Itas only a little after eleven.a aIf I know Didi, sheall be asleep by two minutes after midnight, if she isnat already.a She flung open the sliding gla.s.s door and reached for the phone.

aSeriously, Natalie.a Her voice rose even louder. aLetas sit outside and talk for a little while first. I really wanted to ask youa"a aWhy are you shouting?aThatas when she heard it, the steady, panting grunt of heated s.e.x emanating from the other side of the wall. Didias moan was unmistakable, and Natalie felt a wave of nausea.

Natalie had said barely a word since bolting from their stateroom and settling at a small table in the shadows on the deserted pool deck. Kelly followed quietly and then went back to their room for the champagne and bucket.

aThis is the last of it,a she said, pouring into Natalieas flute. aSave a sip for midnight.a aWe should drink to Plexiglas, because if it werenat for that, I would have thrown myself over this balcony by now.a aDoes it hurt that much?a Natalie sighed heavily. aNot really. But thereas nothing quite as humiliating as hearing the person youare in love with having s.e.x with someone else.a aTry having your watch stop so that you accidentally go into the barracks shower during the designated menas hour.a aDid you really do that?a aI sure did. I got catcalls everywhere I went for a week.a Natalie chuckled. aThat would have been humiliating.a aYeah, and the second time it happened, they all accused me of needing attention.a aThe second time?a aIt was a cheap watch.a That earned her a belly laugh. aSpeaking of watches, I wonder what time it is.a Natalie squinted. aThe clock over the bar says about five minutes till. We can go back to the room if you want. I can pretty much guarantee you Didias sound asleep by now.a aIam comfortable right here if you are.a aI wouldnat exactly call it comfortable.a aTell me what youare feeling.a aI just had it all fixed in my head that Didi might be coming to her senses. She said something yesterday about the old days, and how nice it was for her when we were together. Pamela isnat going be there for her the way I was, and Didi knows it.a What Kelly couldnat understand was why Natalie wanted to be with someone who needed someone there for her, but didnat feel the need to be there for Natalie. aWas she there for you too?a aMore or lessaprobably less. But I had that good solid southern upbringing where I was trained to take care of a husband, so I just adapted and took care of her.a aAnd what was Didi trained for?a aWhat really drives her is making something of herself. She grew up in New Jersey, and her family didnat have much. It always hurt her pride that the other girls looked down on her, and I think thatas why sheas so focused on hitting the big time in New York. She wants to go back and rub all their noses in it.a If there was one thing Kelly understood, it was having the other girls look down on her. aThat explains a lot about her.a aI know. People who donat know her well think sheas an a.s.shole most of the time, but I see her as a little girl getting picked on and fighting back.a Kelly almost chuckled at hearing Natalie call Didi an a.s.shole. If the accompanying drawl was any indication, the champagne had taken over her tongue. aSoahow come you two broke up?a Natalie looked away. aItas a very embarra.s.sing story, which I donat ever plan to tell. I hope she doesnat either.a aSorry, I didnat mean to be nosy. I retract my question.a aItas okay. Letas just say it wasnat the sort of thing people would normally break up over, but it was symptomatic of all the things that were wrong with us. We werenat beinga"I wasnat being honest about my feelings, and I got caught.a Whatever it was, Natalie was clearly shouldering the blame. aSometimes when we put a little distance between us and our mistakes, we realize they werenat so terrible after all.a aItas a mistake I wonat ever make again.a Kelly was itching to know what had happened, but didnat want to pry more than she already had. Instead she checked the clock again and pulled Natalie to her feet. aWe have about one minute left. What would you like to throw away from this past year?a aYou mean something besides tonight?a aWas tonight really the worst thing about last year?a aNot by itself.a She squinted thoughtfully. aI want to throw away all this aggravation.a Kelly nodded. aSounds like a good choice.a aAnd you?a aIam throwing away all those nights and weekends I sat at home alone. I want to go into the New Year with friends, with people I care about.a The shipas horn suddenly sounded a long blast.