Sanctuary, Texas: My Eternal Soldier Part 5

"Do you know why she wants me to live here? Did she tell you that?"

"Because you are a phenomenal fighter?"

I scoffed. Rose had been trying to convince me to move into the supernaturally charged town for decades... ever since she'd found me slaughtering soldiers just outside the town border one day.

She'd offered me a home. A place where I could belong and be around others that understood what I'd gone through. But I didn't want pity. And I didn't want companionship. I'd lost the only two people who'd ever meant anything to me, and I couldn't move past that.

Losing Eira had torn my heart to pieces a thousand years ago. I'd given her the G.o.ddess diamond I'd worn over my heart since becoming an adult in my father's clan. The stone had linked us together permanently. I'd made the choice without telling her I'd done it. The act had been purely selfish, but I'd wanted that tie to her even though she was a human. The pain of loss would only be felt by me when she pa.s.sed away from her human life.

Now, a thousand years later, even though she'd died, for some reason I'd never been able to forget her, her scent, her touch, her taste. Everything about her stayed as fresh on my mind as the recurring nightmare where my sword had pierced her chest. The sound of her choking on her blood as she drowned haunted my memory. Then the battle had turned, and another wave of warriors from the opposing clan had pushed me away from her.

When I'd returned to recover her body and give her the warrior's burial she deserved, I couldn't find her. Her body had been taken. My beautiful warrior was gone forever.

My brother and I left the country only a few days later. I told him I couldn't stay when everything around me reminded me of what I'd lost. We left Britain and never returned. Then I lost him, too.

"Killian?" Bella's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I glanced up from the tabletop and met her gaze. "Sorry. I have to go." I rushed from the booth.

"Killian. Don't leave!"

Her voice carried through the cafe, but I didn't want to talk. I didn't let myself become attached to anyone, and I'd let Bella too close, even as a friend. Emotions were too hard. Anyone who cared about me seemed cursed to die. Staying to myself kept everyone safer.

Chapter Ten.

KILLIAN.

The ride to my house was interrupted by a patrol in a tan Humvee. I waved, and they returned the gesture, pulling to a stop on the side of the road. Turning the bike sharply, I hung a left and pulled up behind them, pushing the kickstand down and settling my bike in the mixture of dirt and gravel. Patrols rarely left the main roads, and my curiosity was piqued.

"Master Sergeant North," a familiar male voice called out, and a large redheaded man jumped out from the driver's seat of the vehicle.

I smiled. Corporal Hinson was a good soldier, and I'd trained him before I left TR Army. It explained why they were off the main road, too. He'd been looking for me.

"Hinson." I saluted and pulled my helmet off before walking to meet him.

He shook my hand. "We drove by your place, but didn't see your bike on the porch. Glad we pa.s.sed you."

"What can I help you with?" I would have to be more careful about leaving prisoners alive in my barn if my trainees were going to make uninvited house calls. Even though I only killed SECR soldiers, currently the TR wasn't officially at war with the SECR. They had a tentative peace treaty, but it wouldn't last long. Not with Xerxes fueling the fire to keep crossing the TR border without permission.

"Spotters said they saw a SECR five man ops team crossing Dead Man's Lake, not too far from here. We haven't been able to find a trace of them, though. I wanted to give you a heads up and ask if you'd seen them."

Shaking my head, I lied straight to his face. "Nope. Nothing around here, but I'll keep an eye out for them and radio you if I do."

"Thanks, Master Sergeant." We shook hands again. "If you're ever near the base, swing by and grab a drink. Me and the boys miss you."

"I'll do that. It's good to see you, Hinson. Watch your back."

"Same to you."

I walked to my bike and waited until they pulled away before starting her up and continuing to my house. The sun was high above my head, and my stomach was knotting up like a nest of writhing snakes, especially since I'd left the cafe without eating anything.

Bella didn't deserve the way I treated her. She was just being nice, but she did try to convince me that I needed to stay every time I visited Sanctuary. I tried to tell her it was useless. Sanctuary held nothing for me, and I didn't want any attachments. Relentless was her favorite word, though. I knew at one time she had wanted to pursue more than just a friendship with me, but I couldn't do it.

I saw Eira's face every time I closed my eyes. The first breath I took in the morning somehow smelled just like the evergreen scent that had always clung to her long black hair. In a thousand years, I'd slept with only three women out of desperation to feel some type of connection, and each of them I'd left the next day. Unable to see their face past the memory that haunted me... a shadow of the woman I'd loved so long ago. My last one-night stand had occurred twenty years ago, and I'd been s.h.i.t-faced drunk.

After waking up in Bella's bed and not being able to remember how I'd come to be there, I swore it would never happen again. And it hadn't. I'd been alone since, and I deserved nothing more. I couldn't give any woman what she deserved or needed if I couldn't grieve and forget about the one I'd lost.

I pulled up to the old farmhouse I called home, hopped the bike onto the sprawling porch, and cut the engine. She purred to a stop, and I threw a cover over her to keep the dirt off.

Walking to the front door, I reached for the handle but stopped. My gaze followed the wall down to the end of the porch. Across the yard, the door to my barn was closed, but the padlock was missing.

My eyebrows raised in surprise. Tugging on the dual sheaths, I pulled one of the swords out of the sheath on my back before advancing toward the barn. The Corporal said they'd just driven by, but I knew I'd padlocked the barn before leaving this morning. Something wasn't right. Someone had entered my barn.

Dead gra.s.s crunched beneath my feet, and a slow breeze tousled my hair. When I reached the door, the lock was on the ground. It'd been wrenched apart, not cut or picked. Almost like something had twisted it until it snapped.

I used my shoulder to shove the door aside. Peering into the dark, I paused before moving forward, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dark. A snarl tore through the silence. I swung my sword, catching only air. Hands grabbed my sword arm, small hands, but they twisted and yanked me from my feet. They pulled me into the shadows, slamming me hard against the concrete floor. Air whooshed from my lungs, and I gasped for breath. My sword clattered across the floor, and I kicked toward the body of my a.s.sailant, but missed.

Delicate fingers wrapped around my throat, and I gagged under the pressure as I was lifted from the ground and slammed into the wall. I punched forward into the torso of my attacker with a swift right-right-left combo, and both my hands came away b.l.o.o.d.y.

A groan and another growl came from the slender form holding my feet just above the floor. Whoever this a.s.s-hat was, he was f.u.c.king strong for his size.

I kicked, aiming for what I hoped was his knee. Instead, I completely misjudged, and my boot glanced off my attacker's shoe.

"I'm sorry, but I'm dying. I have to feed."

I went limp at the sound of the familiar female voice. It can't be her. My heart raced and time slowed as I remembered the last time I'd heard the sweet timber of her voice. Memories of the battle where I lost her flooded my mind and the pain I felt that day and every day after came pouring back. I dreamed every night that she would come back to me. But it was always a dream.

This wasn't a dream.

Her mouth descended to my neck. The bite was painful for a moment. But I could only feel the steady pull as she drank deeply. Her venom coursed through my body, transforming the pain from her bite to pleasure, making me not only a willing victim, but an eager one.

A vampire?

How and when had she been turned? She'd been so close to death when I'd lost sight of her on the battlefield. When had she been dosed with blood?

Dizziness gripped, and my balance wavered. Had she not been holding me pressed against the wall I would've dropped into a heap on the floor. I pushed against her chest; the realization that death was courting gave my mind control through the fog of the bite.

"Stop. Eira, please."

Chapter Eleven.

EIRA.

The familiar deep voice tugged at my soul. Killian? It couldn't be. His blood was rich and warm and very... not human! The magick flowing in his blood healed me faster than any human's would've.

"Eira, please."

He asked me to stop. I could hear his voice in the recesses of my mind over the hammer-like pounding of his heart in his chest and the overwhelmingly decadent scent of his magick-filled blood. I ignored the familiar voice, the scent. My Killian was dead. This was just some stranger that reminded me of him. A hallucination.

But what if? What if, like me, he had lived? If some twist of fate had saved him that day, I might be killing the only man I'd ever loved.

I released his throat, sliced my tongue on one of my fangs, and quickly sealed the two deep puncture wounds. He struggled to breathe normally as I slowly lowered him to the ground, peering at his face in the dark. When his eyes opened and met my gaze, a pain-filled cry ripped from my throat.

My chest tightened as I struggled to draw a breath, as if I needed the oxygen. It was him. It was Killian. All these years and I nearly drained the love of my life without a second glance. Mother of the G.o.ds!

Tears poured down my cheeks as a tidal wave of emotions battered my conscious. What now? What did he think of me? I wasn't the woman he'd fallen in love with a thousand years ago. I was a killer. A demon, hated by most humans and considered a parasite by the rest.

But he wasn't human.

His eyes searched for me in the dim light of the barn, but he couldn't see like I could. I stepped away from him slowly and moved closer to the single ray of sunlight sliding between the barn wall and slightly ajar door he'd come through. I couldn't step into the light, but at least he'd be able to see the outline of my face.

"I'm so sorry," I gasped. "I didn't know it was you. I didn't know..." What was he? I'd never tasted anyone like him before. Not that I'd tasted a lot of supernaturals, but he was certainly something different.

He squared his shoulders and walked toward me.

"G.o.ds, I'm just so... I-"

He didn't speak. His hands slid along my jawline until they cradled my head. Our gazes met, and the same love shined in his blue eyes that had been there that day I'd lost him. He pulled me forward and kissed me, soothing away my worries. It was as if we'd never been apart. My heart soared in my chest, and the darkness faded. He was my light. Always had been.

"Killian, how are you here?" I moaned against his neck as he feathered kisses down the side of mine.

His lips were so soft and tender as they nipped delicately at my earlobe before traipsing down the curve of my neck and shoulder. I never thought I'd feel his mouth again. Never thought his scent would fill my lungs like it was right now. I'd found my heaven on earth.

My body warmed beneath his touch, my wounds forgotten.

If only this moment would never end. To feel his hands on my body like they were now. To feel his mouth on mine. To smell him next to me and hold him in my arms. But life was never that kind. No matter how hard I wanted time to pause, there were questions I needed answered. Questions I deserved to have answered.

"What are you?" I asked while his hands slid along my hips and around to my a.s.s. I knew the answer already. Diana and Calliope had seemed so sure. But I needed to hear it from his lips.

"I'm Elvin."

The truth hurt. I thought it wouldn't but it stung.

I yanked away from him, placed a palm on his chest, and shoved. Anger surged. I knew who the Elvin were. Unlike vampirism, it was a living breathing species. Not something a person was turned into. He'd always been a supernatural. He'd been born that way. He would've left me all those years ago. Eventually, to keep his secret, he would've abandoned me.

Killian stumbled backward into the darker corner of the barn. I heard his feet sc.r.a.pe the floor as he caught his balance and started toward me again. I blurred to the other side of the barn, completely hidden by shadows.

"Eira, please." His voice implored my broken heart. It tugged and pulled at the part that wanted to forgive him and forget.

I wanted to pretend he hadn't lied to me all those years ago. But he had. I'd been human, and he... wasn't. I wanted to pound my fists against his chest and exact revenge for the long centuries of pain, loneliness, and anger. For not knowing why I couldn't move on. If I'd only known he was an immortal, I would've looked for him harder.

But, as much as I wanted him to feel my pain, I also wanted to kiss him until all the nights I spent crying myself to sleep were washed away. My heart belonged to him the same as it always had. I loved him as much in this moment as I had that day on the beach when my eyes had closed in death and he'd disappeared from sight.

"I thought you died and left me. I searched for you for years. But no one knew what became of Killian and Jon North. After twenty years of combing Europe, I finally accepted that you'd died."

"I'm so sorry, Eira. When I returned to the battlefield to bury your body and it was missing, I tried to take my own life. My brother stopped me." His voice broke as more emotions welled up inside him.

His admission soothed the ache in my soul. He had felt pain akin to mine if death had been an appealing solution.

I wanted to tell him it didn't matter. That I forgave him wholeheartedly, but I didn't. I had to know what he'd done to me all those years ago. I rubbed the stone in the amulet he gave me. It always hung around my neck, safely tucked between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Without it, I hurt for him as if he'd stabbed me all over again.

"I lost you in the worst possible way. You died by my hand, and then I was cheated of giving you, my beloved, a proper warrior's burial. Someone desecrated your body. Took you from me. Jon and I left Europe later that week and sailed for the New World. I've lived in America ever since. I couldn't stay in a land that reminded me of you at every glance."

I sensed more and stayed silent in the shadows.

"But it didn't help. Going halfway around the globe didn't help me forget you and move on. I still dreamed of losing you every night and woke smelling the evergreen scent of your hair, but then you weren't with me. I relive your loss every day as if it happened only days ago instead of centuries. I love you so desperately I can't even see another woman through your memory. It's as if we're still linked by the diamond I gave you the first night we made love. The night you agreed to be my wife. But you were dead..." He fell to his knees, and tears ran down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Eira. I failed you. I should've looked longer."

My soul recognized his pain as my own. I, too, was haunted by memories of him. Never able to grieve and move past loving him. Only recently, Diana had told me what the diamond on the amulet meant. Why I could never take it off. Why it was as much a part of me as my own skin.

"You lied to me when you gave me that necklace."

"I was selfish. I wanted to love you and have a family with you. But I didn't want you to know that one day I would have to leave you. I didn't want you to carry that pain and fear around."

"If I'd known what you were, I would've kept searching for you." I walked forward, yanking the string by the door to turn on the light in the center of the barn. Its soft glow bathed us both in a yellow luminescence. I yanked the amulet from beneath my shirt. The purple diamond glowed as if it were alive, sensing his close proximity. "Instead I've lived with this around my neck for ten centuries without you."

An expression of understanding pa.s.sed over his face before he glanced up to meet my gaze again. G.o.ds, his eyes were as hungry as my body felt. I wanted him so badly it hurt to stay away from him. I craved his touch like an addict needed their next hit. Now that we had already kissed, touched, the hunger inside me was worse. The magick in that diamond was stronger than ever, and it wouldn't be satisfied with only one brief encounter.

"You're not the only one that felt the effects. Our souls are linked." He stood and took several steps toward me. "A G.o.ddess Sea diamond marries souls."

"I'm a vampire."

"You still have a soul. You're still the person you were before the curse took hold and changed your body. Magick cannot change a soul."

"You left me. You didn't tell me what this stone would do, Killian. I only just recently found out."

"You were human, Eira. I never dreamed I'd have the chance to love you for more than a few decades."

He stepped forward again, but I moved away, wrapping my arms around my torso. The flesh wounds were gone. His blood flowing through my veins had healed me quickly. Soon there would be no trace of a wound left on my body, only remnants of blood and dirt to remind me where I'd come from. To remind me of the ambush that had stolen my friends. To remind me I'd been betrayed by a friend.

At the same time, he was just standing there. The man I loved so completely, but who'd betrayed me worse than any friend ever could. The wounds left by his lies ran deeper than any bullet or gash.

He took a step toward me, but I raised my palm to stop him. Everything in my body wanted to touch him. To hold him. To taste him. But my heart needed time to forgive him...while my brain moved past the desire to punish him.

I knew the amulet only strengthened what was already there. It hadn't created something from nothing. It was my love for him that fed the magick within the stone. I understood that now. The amulet was just the link between us. It was why we felt each other's pain and longing. We'd shared the burden of our separation all this time and never understood why, both of us thinking the other had died long ago.

I stared at man I loved, taking him in one inch at a time, re-memorizing every angle. Every feature. A strong aquiline nose. Squared off jaw. His sandy blond hair was much shorter than it'd been a millennia ago, but I like it tousled and messy. It suited him, as did the scruffy five-o-clock shadow.