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"We see better in the dark," Eli answered.
I hadn't really noticed, but now that I stopped and considered it. The bright sunlight at the height of the day had bothered my eyes and I truly had no trouble seeing in the shadowy halls of this fortress. It just seemed gloomy and lifeless.
Perhaps because they had been just waiting all this time ... just holding out for me to appear. For a thousand years they had waited. Now I chose to risk my life to find the truth about a dream-a nightmare really. They would never forgive me if the spell went badly, but I knew I could never live with myself if I didn't try.
Miles moved ahead of me and opened two, beautifully carved double doors. The room they opened into was bigger than any I'd seen so far in the Castle. Books lined walls that stretched up two floors. Two staircases on either side of the room led up to the balcony level. The center of the room was arranged with a variety of leather-clad furniture. An older man with graying hair sat in a high-backed chair across from two younger women, both with bright red hair.
They all stood when we entered.
Miles and Eli led me to another chair across from the young ladies and then moved to stand behind me.
"Diana, meet Meredith and Hannah Bateman," Eli spoke slowly and each girl raised their hand to indicate who was who. "This is their father, Harrison."
I inclined my head. "h.e.l.lo."
"Are you sure you don't want to wait a few days until the tension from the attack has died down?" the sister who'd identified herself as Hannah spoke up.
"I can't wait," I answered back quickly. "Something could happen and I might never find out what really happened to me. To my child."
Both women's eyes widened and then nodded.
"We can do the spell here in the library," said their father, standing from his chair. "I'll get the book we need. Boys, you move the furniture out wider so the girls can make the circle."
I stood from the chair and watched as they all moved about the room, each with their own goal. Miles and Eli moved all the furniture to the edges of the room, and the two redheads pulled several jars and pots down from a shelf near the front of the room. Their father climbed the staircase to our right and returned a few minutes later with an old, battered volume covered in dust.
Meredith spread salt on the floor in the shape of a circle. "You need to lie down in the center," she said, pointing at the floor.
I nodded and stepped carefully over the line of salt. Then I lay down, arranging the skirt of the white dress I wore so it wasn't rucked up around my thighs. I didn't mind showing off skin for Miles and Eli, but it made me uncomfortable to do so around the girls' father. The neckline of the thing was already much lower than I was used to, but it was all Eira had been able to scrounge up at the last minute. Otherwise, I probably would've run out into the street still wrapped in their bed sheet.
Turning my head, I watched them mix different bits of unidentifiable ingredients into one of the pots and grind it up. They poured in small amounts of oil and then poured that mixture into a small, black gla.s.s.
Their father began chanting something in a language I did not recognize, but I felt a strange spark of energy run across my skin. I tried to move, but found my limbs too heavy to lift. I couldn't turn my head either and I stared at the ceiling of the room, trying not to panic. Miles and Eli were not in my line of vision, but I was too scared they would stop the spell if I asked for them to come closer. Instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"I know you can't move," Hannah's voice was soft and near my head.
I opened my eyes to her face. She put her finger into the black cup and then smeared some of the mixture on my forehead, nose, cheeks, and chin. Then she drew something on the top of my bosom with it. The mixture was slimy and cold on my now-sweating skin.
"Just try to relax and take the ride," she said, before standing and leaving the circle.
Suddenly the coolness of the concoction disappeared and my skin burned where it touched. I grimaced through the pain and closed my eyes again. I could do this. I had to do this.
"Diana?"
I could hear the concern in Eli's voice.
"I'm fine," I managed to squeak out.
Pain lanced through my body and I felt myself sink into a familiar darkness. Slowly, the pain disappeared and I saw my dreams-the ones that had haunted me for as long as I could remember. Miles' and Eli's faces floated above me. Clearer now, and I could see they were in pain. Blood ran from their brows, down their cheeks, and even more flowed from wounds to their mouths. What was I seeing?
Then it changed. The crying started and my heart clenched. I could hear people arguing. I could feel the pain of labor like it was happening right then and I screamed out for help. The darkness never left. I never could see what happened. When the pain disappeared, I heard a baby cry and a woman's voice telling someone to hide him.
No. No. No.
I clawed at the darkness and screamed for her to bring me my baby. But no one spoke to me. The darkness never left and soon I floated in cold silence again. I sobbed so hard I couldn't breathe. My own tears threatened to drown me.
I gasped for air and suddenly I was back in the library. Miles and Eli were next to the salt line, straining to cross the barrier, but something kept them back.
"Stop! She's back. Stop chanting."
The voices in the background stopped and whatever had held back my husbands vanished. Eli reached for me first and dragged me into his lap. He smoothed back my damp hair and used his shirt to wipe the grime from my face.
"Are you okay, Love? You were screaming as if something was killing you. We couldn't get to you. It kept us out," Eli mumbled faster than I could keep up as he kissed all over my head and face.
I could feel Miles' presence, too. His hand was on my lower back and he was rubbing his knuckles up and down, slowly, soothing the tension from my body. I relaxed into the caress and leaned over onto Eli's shoulder.
Exhaustion was overtaking me and I yawned. Nothing had changed. I still couldn't remember what exactly had happened. My nightmares had only gotten longer and created even more questions.
"It won't come right away," Meredith said.
I listened, trying not to let sleep steal me away.
"It could come back in an hour, three hours, a few days," Hannah added. "But when it does, it will hit with the force of an ax to a wood block. She will be incapacitated while the memories repopulate."
"And she will be in horrible pain, boys," their father added, his voice soft, but clear. "Be ready for that pain. That is the point where she can be lost to you."
b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO.
MILES.
When she'd fallen asleep in Eli's arms, he'd carried her back to my room and put her into the bed. We'd taken warm washcloths and cleaned her before crawling into bed on either side of her.
Every time she murmured or whimpered, I woke up.
So did Eli.
I heard his breathing change. We were both waiting for the shoe to drop, for her to combust like Harrison had warned. And we were both terrified that we would lose her all over again.
Except this time she would be right in front of us.
I'm not sure I could handle that. Losing her.
"She's going to make it through this, Miles."
It was like he'd read my mind. "She has to," I whispered back, my voice catching in my throat.
Another whimper came from the back of Diana's throat and then she seized. Her body shook and her jaw snapped open and shut.
"s.h.i.t!" I jumped up, looking for anything to put between her snapping teeth.
Eli pulled off his t-shirt, twisted it tight and tied it around her head like a gag. It looked horrible, but it was better than her biting her tongue in half. We turned her on her side and watched carefully in case she vomited, but her mouth remained clear and we continued to hear breath sounds through the episode. When her body calmed, he pulled the t-shirt out of her mouth and she sat up in the center of the bed screaming "please give him back."
When I reached out to touch her, she scratched my arm and continued to scream. Her eyes were open, but she wasn't looking at me. She wasn't looking at anything. Terror took root in my heart and I feared that we'd already lost her. Her voice grated on my ears and the pain in it was like a knife to the gut.
I glanced up at Eli and he shook his head. She wouldn't let us touch her and she wouldn't respond to anything we said.
When her screams turned to moans of pain and she started begging "please don't do this" and "please, no," I rushed from the bed to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. I remember those screams like it was the day it happened. I could remember the bite of the whip and the sound of them taking turns with her on the altar in front of the stone thrones of Orin.
I heaved again and again, until there was nothing left inside of me. But her screams still echoed through the room. My bottom lip trembled and I sank to the floor next to the toilet, sobbing into my hands. I knew she would remember, but I hadn't counted on it being like this-like it was actually happening again.
Noise across the bathroom caught my attention and I looked up, my vision blurry and my nose congested. I hadn't cried like this since the day we'd ended up on the other side of the gate without her. Eli wasn't faring much better, and I drew in a deep breath as I listened to him heave into the trashcan near one of the sinks.
Another bloodcurdling scream tore through the room and I leaned over the toilet again, dry-heaving a half-dozen times before I was able to stop. She shouldn't have to relive this. She shouldn't have had to live it in the first place!
It was our fathers' faults. They were too trusting. They let themselves be taken advantage of and be murdered in their own beds. We had been beaten nearly to death and our wife raped and beaten in front of us. I slammed my head back against the wall and grimaced as pain shot through my head and neck. Something wet ran down my neck. Blood. I could smell it. I'd probably grazed myself on a nail in the wall.
f.u.c.k it.
The screams continued. They were getting worse, not better.
"Eli," I choked out. I needed him to heal the cut on my head before I returned to her. She didn't deserve to be alone. Not again.
I saw him wipe his mouth and look up at me in the dark. "What?" he croaked.
"Come heal the cut on my head. I'm going to go sit with her. She can't be alone. Not again. We need to stay with her."
He nodded and set down the trashcan full of vomit. I turned around and he walked up to my back. His warm breath seared at first and then I felt the cut quickly knit itself back together.
"The pain," he whispered, audibly grimacing when another chilling one sliced through the room. "I never thought I'd hear that sound come from her lips again. I lived so many years hearing those screams in my sleep."
"I know. It all came rushing back."
"Miles, what if she hates us? After everything comes back. What if she can't stand to be near us? We let that happen. We left her."
I turned and embraced my brother. "We have to go to her. She can come out of this. We can't let it take her."
"Miles! Eli! Please help me! Miles!"
I shuddered and let go of my brother. I hadn't been able to go to her the first time, but I'd be d.a.m.ned if I would let her suffer alone a second. Eli followed closely behind me and we crawled into bed on either side of her twisting body.
She was drenched in sweat and lashed out at just the lightest touch, but I knew that's what she needed. The feel of our bodies pressed to hers, the connection of our bond flowing between us, it was what would make this time different than the last.
I grabbed for her arms and hugged her torso tight to my chest. "Get close behind her and put your leg over her hip to hold her still."
He did as I said and I felt the magick of our bond flow between us like a living electric current. She stilled almost immediately and her screams died down into whimpers. Every few minutes she would struggle violently and scream, but we just continued to hold her. Eli stroked her body, up and down, kneading at the tension in her neck.
By the time the morning light was peeking through the half-open curtains, she had fallen fast asleep. Eli and I, however, were still wide awake and waiting. Waiting for that moment when she would open her eyes again.
More time pa.s.sed. Still she didn't stir. I still held her tightly and Eli's leg was still draped over her hip. She was snugly secured between the two of us.
Her breathing was more even as the morning slid by. Around ten, she began to squirm and a few moments later her eyes opened.
"Miles?"
"Yes, Love." I answered, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze.
Tears formed in her eyes and for the first time, they ran down her face without freezing. She had complete control of her powers again.
"Did you find what you were looking for, my sweet wife?"
She nodded and buried her face in my chest. "Someone took our son."
My heart fell in my chest and I met my brother's broken gaze over her shoulder. It was likely the boy wasn't even alive. There would've been no reason for Kevan and Leif to let a son of ours grow to maturity. And if he did live, he would be a man. Grown and nearly a thousand years old, still young for a Drakonae, but the odds were very much against him.
"Do you know who took him?"
She shook her head. "I can't place her voice and they kept my face covered for the whole birth. But she told someone in the room that he had to be hidden. Over and over she said, "You have to hide him"."
I allowed myself a sliver of hope. Perhaps a nursemaid still loyal to our family was able to whisk our son away from Orin and raise him away from the prying eyes of the Incanti family.
"He could be alive," she whispered. "We can use the dagger to go look for him."
I shook my head. "We're bound to stay here. We took an oath to protect the Sisters." I pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"Then I will go," she yelled, squirming and slithering in our arms, trying to get loose. "Diana. You know you can't do that. If one of us dies-"
She stopped struggling and started crying again. "But he's our son. How can we just leave him there with those monsters? What they did to me ... to you ... was ... How can you leave him to a fate possibly worse than death?"
"So you would ask my brother and I to break an oath and leave over a hundred women to be raped and taken hostage for a one man who might still be alive?"
"Your son! Not just a man."
Her cries pulled at me so hard, but I shook my head. "We cannot let Xerxes get the Sisters. If you think that Kevan and Leif are monsters, you won't have words to describe Xerxes Amir Hilah. I love you with my whole heart, Diana, but you must consider our position rationally. The fate of both worlds depends on it."
"If he's lived a thousand years without us," Eli started. "It's likely he will survive a few more until we can get to him."
Her body was shaking and super-cooled air was flowing from her like a restaurant-grade freezer unit. "Diana, please. Perhaps if you spoke to one of the Sisters. To the Oracle. Maybe they could give you some peace. We never asked about a child-only you."
She turned and stared at me, her blue-gray eyes pain-filled and heartbroken. She was a wife, but she was a mother now, too.