Samantha at the World's Fair Part 7

Some had stood by the white marble poem of the Tag Megal in India, wherein a royal soul has carved his love for a woman. If that race, to whom we send missionaries to civilize them, could raise such a tomb over its dead, and a woman too, who had done no great things, only loved the man who raised this incomparable monument over her--what could they expect to find raised by this great and dominant race over the dead form of the man who had saved the hull country from ruin?

So with feelin's of awe and wonder in their hearts, expectin' to see they knew not what, the awestruck, admirin' foreigner paused before the tomb of the Great Leader--and he see nothin'. Not even a respectable grave-stun, such as you see in any New England graveyard. (Or that has been the case till very lately. But now things look a little brighter in the monument line.)

But it has been a shame, and a burnin' one, so burnin' that it has seemed to me that it would take all the cool blue waters that glide along below, a-complainin' of the slight and insult to our Hero--it would take more than all these waters to wash it out and make the country clean agin.

But she had one of her spells, and whether she wuz well or whether she wuz sick, New York lied jest like a dog about it.

Whether she wuz crazy or not, the fact remained that she had bragged, and then gin out; had promised, and not performed.

I believe she wuz out of her head.

Then there wuz the same kind of a performance she went through with the G.o.ddess of Liberty.

When France had gin that beautiful and most wondeful creeter to us as a present, it looked sort o' shabby in New York to not provide a platform for that female to stand up on.

Now, didn't it? She a-offerin' to light up the world if she only had a place to stand up on--and the great continent of America not bein'

willin' to gin it to her.

[Ill.u.s.tration: She a-offerin' to light up the world, if she only had a place to stand up on.]

New York talked--oh, yes, it wuz a-goin' to do great things! Oh, what a big, n.o.ble door-step it wuz a-layin' out to rize up for that G.o.ddess to stand on!

But there it wuz, New York had one of her spells agin, lost her faculties, forgot all about what she said she wuz a-goin' to do--and left that n.o.ble female, left that princely present to lay round in a heap, a perfect imposition to France and to human nater.

The idee of a G.o.ddess with no place to stand up on! The Great Republic a-stretchin' out on each side, and no place for her feet to rest on.

And no knowin' but she would have been a-layin' round to-day, all broke up and onjinted, if it hadn't been for a public-sperited newspaper man, who took the matter up, and worked at it, and called public attention to it, till at last it got a place for the G.o.ddess to be histed up on her feet, and rest her legs a spell, all crumpled up under her.

The idee of a G.o.ddess, and such a G.o.ddess, a layin' round with her legs all doubled up under her, and all broke up--the idee!

Then it got the Centenial Exhibition there. And it wuzn't no more than right, what it promised and bound itself to do, to make some triumphal arches for the processions to walk under, a-triumphin'.

Why, she vowed and declared solemn that she would make 'em if she could have it there.

They wuz goin' to be, accordin' to her tell, accordin' to what New York said about it, about the most gorgus and impressive arches that ever wuz arched over anybody, fur or near, anywhere.

Now, after it got the exhibition there, did it make 'em? No, indeed.

It had another spell come on, clean forgot all about it. And there the Columbian Exposition come and no arch for it to walk under, not a arch, only some old boards nailed up, some like a barn door, only higher.

[Ill.u.s.tration : Wooden arch]

Wall, you see these kind o' crazy spells, losin' its faculties every once in a while, made it dretful hard for New York.

I believe she would got the World's Fair if it hadn't been for that. But the question would keep a-comin' up, and the country had to pay attention to it--what if she got the World's Fair, and then had another fit! What if she had another spell come on, and forgot all about it!

And lo! and behold! have the World's Fair sail up and halt in front of her and she not have any place for it, and mebby be out of her head so she couldn't remember nothin', wouldn't remember who Christopher wuz, or anythin'.

No; the hull country felt that it wuz resky, and that, I have always spozed, wuz one reason why New York lost it.

And then, as I have said heretofore, Chicago wuz jest bound to have it, and she did.

But then, if you'll believe it, jest like any spilte young child that cries for another big apple when both its hands are full of 'em--it hadn't no place for it.

It had got the World's Fair, but hadn't got any place to put it. The idee!

Jest crazy to have it, cried and yelled, and acted, (metafor) till it got it. And then, lo! and behold! where wuz she goin' to put it? Hadn't a place big enough, or ready for it.

Of course she had the lake. But she didn't want to drownd it, after makin' such a fuss over it; it wouldn't have seemed very horsepitable.

And she didn't really want to put it out onto a prairie. And she couldn't put it right round under her feet, where it would git trampled on, and git bruised, and knocked round; that wouldn't be a-usin'

Christopher Columbus as he ort to be used.

And, as I say, she wuz honorable enough to not want to put it in the lake.

And so, after worryin' and takin' on, and talkin' month after month about it, she concluded to split the Christopher Columbus World's Fair into some like this--put the Christopher part on a stagin' built out into the lake, and the Columbus part back a ways into the park.

Wall, I didn't make no objections to it; I thought I wouldn't say a word or make a move to break it up, or make their burdens any heavier. No; I jest stood still and see it go on.

Only I did talk some out to one side to my Josiah about it, about the curiosity of their behavior.

Sez I, "It seems as if, after what Columbus done for the country, he ort to be kep hull, and not be broke into, and split apart. But howsumever,"

sez I, "I sha'n't make any move to stop it."

And Josiah sez "he guessed it wouldn't make much difference whether I made a move or not. He guessed Chicago could take care of its own business, and would do it."

I wuz a-pinnin' the outside onto a comforter, and I had a lot of pins in my mouth, but before I put 'em in I sez--

"Wall, it looks kind o' shiftless to me, to think they hadn't no place to put it, after all their actions."

And as I resoomed my work, he went on:

"Now, you imagine how you would feel, Samantha Allen, if you had bought a big elephant, bigger than Jumbo, and you knew it wuz on its way here, approachin' nearer and nearer--had got as fur as Old Bobbet's, and we hadn't a place to put it in that wuz suitable and strong enough--we couldn't git her head hardly in the stable, we couldn't leave her out doors to rampage round and step over barns and knock down housen, and we couldn't git it offen our hands any way, kill it, or give it away--how would you feel?"

[Ill.u.s.tration: We couldn't git her head hardly in the stable.]

Then I took my pins out of my mouth, and sez--

"I wouldn't have bought the elephant till I had measured my barn."

Then I put my pins in my mouth agin, for I thought like as not that I wouldn't have to use my tongue agin. I didn't lay out to, for my mouth wuz full, and I wuz in a hurry for my comforter.

But Josiah sez, "O shaw! lots of folks buy things they hadn't no idee of buyin' till they see somebody else wants 'em bad.

"I remember that is the way I come to buy that two-year colt; I hadn't a idee of wantin' it till I see Old Bobbet and Deacon Sypher jest sot on havin' it, and that whetted me right up, and I wuz jest bound to have that colt, and did. I didn't expect to find it profitable any of the time. I knew it would kick like the old Harry and smash things, and it did.

"And that is jest the way with Chicago; she knew the World's Fair wuzn't over and above profitable to have round, besides bein' dretful bothersome, but she see New York and St. Louis a-d.i.c.kerin' for it, and then she wanted it."

"Wall," sez I, considerable dry and sharp, for I had three pins in my mouth at the time--