Samantha at the World's Fair Part 66

"I want to tell you that if my girl, Tirzah Ann, should ever go to Spain under the circ.u.mstances I speak on, and should light up her pipe in the Escurial, I should want you to put it out for her.

"I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley--I hate to like a dog. Of course," sez I, in reasonable axents, "if you wanted to smoke a little mullen or catnip for the tizik, I wouldn't mind it; but cigaretts are dretful onhealthy, and I'm afraid that they will undermind your const.i.tution.

And I think too much on you, Ulaley, to want you underminded."

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I hate to have you smoke, Ulaley--I hate to like a dog."]

She smiled, and said sunthin' about its bein' the custom of her country.

And I looked real pleasant at her, but firm, and sez I, "Customs has to be gone aginst by true Reformers, and Prophets, Ulaley." Sez I, "Four hundred years ago it wuzn't the custom of the countries to discover new worlds.

"But your ill.u.s.trious countryman branched out and stemmed the tide of popular disfavor, and found a grand New Land.

"New Worlds lay before all on us, Ulaley--we can sail by 'em on the winds of popular favor and old custom, or we can stem the tide and row aginst the stream, and, 'Go in and take the country.'

"You don't know what good lays in your power to do, Ulaley, you sweet young creeter you, and now G.o.d bless you, and good-bye."

There wuz a tear standin' in every one of my eyes as I said it, for a hull tide of emotions from four hundred years past to the present swashed up aginst me as I grasped holt of her pretty hand, and we parted.

She looked real tender-hearted and good at me, as if she liked me, and as if her heart leaned up aginst my heart real clost.

(What duz Ward McAllister and his 'postles know of such rapt moments?)

Her escort driv up in two carriages jest then, and I left her, and as I went down the steps on the other side I heard her talkin' volubly to 'em--a-describin' the great seen that had took place between us, I dare say.

They wuz pleased with it, I could see they wuz fairly a-laughin', they wuz so edified and highly tickled. Yes, Spain realizes it, my makin' so much on't.

Wall, I didn't stay much longer, for weariness, and also the cords of affection, wuz a-drawin' me back to Miss Planks.

Wall, the days and weeks wuz a-wearin' away, and Josiah and I wuz a-enjoyin' ourselves first rate.

The children, and Isabelle, and Krit wuz a-havin' jest as good a time, too, as four smart young folks can have.

Their minds wuz naterally, all four on 'em, as bright as a new dollar, and they had been enriched and disciplined by culture and education, so there wuz good soil indeed for the marvellous seed sowed here to spring up in a bountiful harvest.

They, all four on 'em, enjoyed more than anything else the Congresses, and meetin's of the different societies of the world, for n.o.ble, and humane, and philanthropic interests.

And as for me, if I wuz to be made to tell at the pint of the sword what I thought wuz the very best and most glorious product of the World's Columbian Fair, I would say I thought it wuz these orations, and debates, by the brightest men and wimmen on earth, congregated at Columbuses doin's.

They wuz the wreaths of the very finest, sweetest blossoms that crowned Uncle Sam's old brow this glorious summer of 1893.

The most advanced thought on religion, art, science, philanthropy, and every branch of these n.o.ble and riz-up subjects wuz listened to there by my own rapt and orstruck ears. And not only the good and eloquent of my own Christian race, but Moslem, Buddhist, and Hindoo. Teachers of every religious and philosophical system wuz heard, givin' friendly idees, and dretful riz-up ones, on every subject designed to increase progress, prosperity, and the peace of mankind.

What subjects could be bigger than these, and more important to the World and Jonesville? Not any; not one.

And what solid comfort I took through the hull caboodle of 'em--Peace Societies, Temperance, Wimmen's Rights, Sabbath Schools, Kindergarten, Christian Science, Woman's protective union, Improvement in dress, etc., etc., and etcetry.

I sot happy as a queen through 'em all, and so did the girls, a-listenin' to every topic hearn on the great subject of makin' the old world happier and better behaved.

Josiah didn't seem to care so much about it.

He would often excuse himself--sometimes he would have a headache, but most always his headaches would improve so that he could git out into the city somewhere or onto the Fair ground. He would most always recooperate pretty soon after we started to the Congress, or Lecture Hall, or wherever our intellectual treat wuz.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Sometimes he would have a headache.]

And when I'd come home I'd find him pretty chipper.

And then often the children would come after us in a carriage and take us all over the city and out into the suburbs, and display all the strange sights to us, or they would take us to the beautiful parks, through the long, smooth, beautiful boulevards.

And no city in the world can go ahead of Chicago in this, or so it seems to me--the number and beauty of their parks, and the approaches to them.

There wuz a considerable number of railroads to cross, and I wuz afraid of bein' killed time and agin a-crossin' of 'em, and would mention the fact anon, if not oftener; but I didn't git killed, not once.

Wall, so Time run along; roses and ripe fruit wreathed his old hour-gla.s.s, and we didn't hardly realize how fast he wuz a-swingin' his old scythe, and how rapid he was a-walkin'.

Isabelle had promised to come and stay a week with me jest as soon as a room was vacant.

And so the day that Gertrude Plank left I writ a affectionate note to her, and reminded her of her promise, and that I should expect her that evenin' without fail.

I sent the note in the mornin', and at my pardner's request, and also agreeable to my own wishes, we meandered out into the Fair grounds agin.

There wuz a number of things that we hadn't seen yet, and so there would have been if we had stayed there a hull year.

But that day we thought we would tackle the Battle Ship, so we went straight to it the nearest way.

Wall, as I looked off and got a plain view of the Illinois, it was headed towards me jest right, and I thought it wuz shaped some like my biggest flat-iron, or sad-iron, as some call 'em.

And I don't know why, I am sure, unless it is because wimmen are middlin' sad when they git a big ironin' in the clothes-basket, and only one pair of hands to do it, and mebby green wood, or like as not have to pick up their wood, only jest them arms to do it all, them and their sad-irons.

Wall, as I say, it wuz headed jest right, so it did look shaped for all the world like that old flat-iron that fell on to me from Mother Allen.

Of course it wuz bigger, fur bigger, and had a hull string of flags. .h.i.tched from each end on't to the middle. Wall, it wuz a high, good-lookin' banner a-risin' out and perched on top of a curius-lookin'

smoke-stack.

And for all the world, if that line of flags didn't look some like a line of calico clothes a-hangin' out to dry, hitched up in the middle to the top of the cherry-tree, and then dwindlin' down each end to the corner of the house, and the horse barn.

But I wouldn't have that Battle-Ship git wind on't that I compared it to clothes-lines, and flat-irons, not for a dollar bill; for battle-ships are naterally ferocious, and git mad easy.

There wuz sights of good-lookin' flags histed up at one end on't, besides the clothes-line full, and lots of men a-standin' round on't.

They didn't seem to act a mite afraid, and I don't spoze I ort to be.

But lo and behold! come to pry into things, and look about and find out, as the poet sez, that wuzn't a real ship a-sailin' round, as it looked like, but it wuz built up on what they call pilin'--jest as if Josiah should stick sticks up on the edge of the creek, and build a hen-house on 'em, or anything.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Come to pry into things, and look about and find out, that wuzn't a real ship a-sailin' round.]

It is a exact full-sized model, three hundred and forty-eight feet long, of one of the new coast-line battle-ships now a-bein' built for the safety and protection of our country, at a cost of about three million dollars each.

The imitation ship is built on the lake front at the northeastern point of Jackson Park. It is all surrounded with water, and has all the appearance of bein' moored to the wharf.

It has all the fittin's that belong to the actual ship, and all the appliances for workin' it.