Samantha at Saratoga Part 24

And she said she didn't know exactly where the fun lay, but she s'posed it wuz comin' down. Anyway, they seemed to enjoy it first rate. And she said it wuz a pretty sight to see 'em all on a bright clear night, when the sky wuz blue and full of stars, and the earth white and glistenin' underneath to see 7 or 800, all dressed up in to gayest way, suits of white blankets, gay borders and bright ta.s.seled caps of every color, and suits of every other pretty color all trimmed with fur and embroideries, to see 'em all a laughin' and a talkin', with their cheeks and eyes bright and glowin', to see 'em a comin' down the slide like flashes of every colored light, and away out over the white glistenin' plains; and then to see the long line of happy laughin'

creeters a walkin' back agin' drawin' the gay Toboggens. She said it wuz a sight worth seein'.

"Do they come down alone?" sez Josiah.

"Oh no!" sez she. "Boys and their sweethearts, men and wives, fathers and mothers and children, sometimes 4 on a Toboggan."

Sez Josiah, lookin' anamated and clever, "I'd love to take you on one on 'em, Samantha.'

"Oh no!" sez I, "I wouldn't want to be took."

But a bystander a standin' by said it wuz a sight to behold to stand up on top and start off. He said the swiftness of the motion, the brightness of the electric lights ahead, the gleam of the snow made it seem like plungin' down a dazzlin' Niagara of whiteness and glitterin' light; and some, like bein' shot out of a cannon. Why, he said they went with such lightnin' speed, that if you stood clost by the slide a waitin' to see a friend go by, you might stand so near as to touch her, but you couldn't no more see her to recognize her, than you could recognize one spoke from another in the wheel of a runaway carriage. You would jest see a red flash go by, if so be it wuz a red gown she had on. A red flash a dartin' through the air, and a disappearin' down the long glitterin' lane of light.

You could see her a goin' back, so they said, a laughin' and a jokin' with somebody, if so be she walked back, but there wuz long sleighs to carry 'em back, them and their Toboggens, if they wanted to ride, at the small expenditure of 10 cents apiece.

They go, in the fastest time anybody can make till they go on the lightnin', a way in which they will go before long, I think, and Josiah duz too.

"They said there wuzn't nothin' like it. And I said, "Like as not." I believed 'em. And then the woman said, "This long room we wuz a standin' in," for we had gone back into the house, durin' our interview, this long room wuz all warm and light for 'em to come into and get warm, and she said as many as 600 in a night would come in there and have supper there.

And then she showed us the model of a Toboggen, all sculped out, with a man and a woman on it. The girl wuz ahead sort a drawin'

the Toboggen, as you may say, and her lover. (I know he wuz, from his looks.) He wuz behind her, with his face right clost to her shoulder.

And I'll bet that when they started down that gleamin' slide, they felt as if they 2 wuz alone under the stars and the heavens, and wuz a glidin' down into a dazzlin' way of glory. You could see it in their faces. I liked their faces real well.

But the sight on 'em made Josiah Allen crazier'n ever to go too, and he sez, "I feel as if I must Toboggen, Samantha!"

Sez I, "Be calm! Josiah, you can't slide down hill in July."

"How do you know?" sez he, "I'm bound to enquire." And he asked the woman if they ever Toboggened in the summer.

"No, never!" sez she.

And I sez, "You see it can't be done."

"She never see it tried," sez he. "How can you tell what you can do without tryin'?" sez he lookin' shrewdly, and longingly, up the slide. I trembled, for I knew not what the next move of his would be. But I bethought me of a powerful weepon I had by me.

And I sez, "The driver will ask pay for every minute we are here."

And as I sez this, Josiah turned and almost flew down the steps and into the buggy. I had skairt him. Truly I felt relieved, and sez I to myself, "What would wimmen do if it wuzn't for these little weepons they hold in their hands, to control their pardners with." I felt happy.

But the next words of Josiah knocked down all that palace of Peace, that my soul had betook herself to. Sez he, "Samantha Allen, before I leave Saratoga I shall Toboggen."

Wall, I immegetly turned the subject round and talked wildly and almost incoherently on politicks. I praised the tariff amost beyond its deserts. I brung up our foreign relations, and spoke well on 'em. I tackled revenues and taxation, and hurried him from one to the other on 'em, almost wildly, to get the idee out of his head. And I congratulated myself on havin' succeeded.

Alas! how futile is our hopes, sometimes futiler than we have any idee on!

By night all thoughts of danger had left me, and I slept sweetly and peacefully. But early in the mornin' I had a strange dream.

I dreamed I wuz in the woods with my head a layin' on a log, and the ground felt cold that I wuz a layin' on. And then the log gin way with me, and my head came down onto the ground. And then I slept peaceful agin, but chilly, till anon, or about that time, I beard a strange sound and I waked up with a start. It wuz in the first faint glow of mornin' twilight. But as faint as the light wuz, for the eye of love is keen, I missed my beloved pardner's head from the opposite pillow, and I riz up in wild agitation and thinkses I, "Has rapine took place here; has Josiah Allen been abducted away from me? Is he a kidnapped Josiah?"

At that fearful thought my heart begun to beat so voyalently as to almost stop my breath, and I felt I wuz growin' pale and wan, wanner, fur wanner than I had been sense I came to Saratoga. I love Josiah Allen, he is dear to me.

And I riz up feelin' that I would find that dear man and rescue him or perish in the attempt. Yes, I felt that I must perish if I did not find him. What would life be to me without him? And as I thought that thought the light of the day that wuz a breakin', looked sort of a faint to me, and sickish. And like a flash it came to me, the thought that that light seemed like the miserable dawns of wretched days without him, a pale light with no warmth or brightness in it.

But at that very minute I heard a noise outside the door, and I heard that beloved voice a sayin' in low axents the words I had so often heard him speak, words I had oft rebuked him for, but now, so weak will human love make one, now, I welcome them gladly -- they sounded exquisitely sweet to me. The words wuz, "Dumb 'em!"

And I joyfully opened the door. But oh! what a sight met my eye.

There stood Josiah Allen, arrayed in a blanket he had took from our bed (that accounted for my cold feelin' in my dream). The blanket wuz white, with a gay border of red and yellow. He had fixed it onto him in a sort of a dressy way, and strapped it round the waist with my shawl strap. And he had took a bright yeller silk handkerchief of hisen, and had wrapped it round his head so's it hung down some like a cap, and he wuz a tryin' to fasten it round his forward with one of my stockin' supporters.

He couldn't buckle it, and that is what called forth his exclamations. At his feet, partly upon the stairs, wuz the bolster from our bed (that accounted for the log that had gin way). And he had spread a little red shawl of mine over the top on't, and as I opened the door he wuz jest ready to embark on the bolster, he waz jest a steppin' onto it. But as he see me he paused, and I sez in low axents, "What are you a goin' to do, Josiah Allen?"

"I'm a goin' to Toboggen," sez he.

Sez I, "Do you stop at once, and come back into your room."

"No, no!" sez he firmly, and preparin' to embark on the bolster, "I am a goin' to Toboggen. And you come and go to. It is so fashionable," sez he, "such a genteel diversion."

Sez I, "Do you stop it at once, and come back to your room.

Why," sez I, "the hull house will be routed up, and be up here in a minute."

"Wall," sez he, "they'll see fun if they do and fashion. I am a goin', Samantha!" and be stepped forward.

Sez I, "They'll see sunthin' else that begins with a f, but it haint fun or fashion.' And agin I sez, "Do you come back, Josiah Allen. You'll break your neck and rout up the house, and be called a fool."

"Oh no, Samantha! I must Toboggen. I must go down the slide once." And he fixed the bolster more firmly on the top stair.

"Wall," sez I, feelin' that I wuz drove to my last ambush by him, sez I, "probably five dollars won't make the expenses good, besides your doctor's bill, and my mornin'. And I shall put on the deepest of c.r.a.pe, Josiah Allen," sez I.

I see he wavered and I pressed the charge home. Sez I, "That bolster is thin cloth, Josiah Allen, and you'll probably have to pay now for draggin' it all over the floor. If anybody should see you with it there, that bolster would be charged in your bill. And how would it look to the neighbors to have a bolster charged in your bill? And I should treasure it, Josiah Allen, as bein' the last bill you made before you broke your neck !"

"Oh, wall," sez he, "I s'pose I can put the bolster back." But he wuz snappish, and he kep' snappish all day.

He wuzn't quelled. Though he had gin in for the time bein' I see he wuzn't quelled down. He acted dissatisfied and highheaded, and I felt worried in my mind, not knowin' what his next move would be.

Oh! the tribulations it makes a woman to take care of a man. But then it pays. After all, in the deepest of my tribulations I feel, I do the most of the time feel, that it pays. When he is good he is dretful good.

Wall, I went over to see Polly Pixley the next night, and when I got back to my room, there stood Josiah Allen with both of his feet sort a bandaged and tied down onto sumthin', which I didn't at first recognize. It waz big and sort a egg shaped, and open worked, and both his feet wuz strapped down tight onto it, and he wuz a pushin' himself round the room with his umberell.

And I sez, "What is the matter now, Josiah Allen; what are you a doin' now?"

"Oh I am a walkin' on snow-shoes, Samantha! But I don't see,"

sez he a stoppin' to rest, for he seemed tuckered out, "I don't see how the savages got round as they did and performed such journeys. You put 'em on, Samantha," sez he, "and see if you can get on any faster in 'em."

Sez I, coldly, "The savages probable did'nt have both feet on one shoe, Josiah Allen, as you have. I shall put on no snowshoes in the middle of July; but if I did, I should put 'em on accordin'

to a little mite of sense. I should try to use as much sense as a savage any way."

"Why, how it would look to have one foot on that great big snow-shoe. I always did like a good close fit in my shoes. And you see I have room enough and to spare for both on 'em on this.

Why it wouldn't look dressy at all, Samantha, to put 'em on as you say."

Sez I very coldly, "I don't see anything over and above dressy in your looks now, Josiah Allen, with both of your feet tied down onto that one shoe, and you a tryin' to move off when you can't.

I can't see anything over and above ornamental in it, Josiah Allen."

"Oh! you are never willin' to give in that I look dressy, Samantha. But I s'pose I can put my feet where you say. You are so sot, but they are too big for me -- I shall look like a fool."

I looked at him calmly over my specks, and sez I, "I guess I sha'n't notice the difference or realize the change. I wonder,"