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CHARLES. Thank you. You are always ready with a lecture, arnt you?
LA TREMOUILLE [roughly] Enough grumbling. What have you got there?
CHARLES. What is that to you?
LA TREMOUILLE. It is my business to know what is pa.s.sing between you and the garrison at Vaucouleurs. [He s.n.a.t.c.hes the paper from the Dauphin's hand, and begins reading it with some difficulty, following the words with his finger and spelling them out syllable by syllable].
CHARLES [mortified] You all think you can treat me as you please because I owe you money, and because I am no good at fighting. But I have the blood royal in my veins.
THE ARCHBISHOP. Even that has been questioned, your Highness. One hardly recognizes in you the grandson of Charles the Wise.
CHARLES. I want to hear no more of my grandfather. He was so wise that he used up the whole family stock of wisdom for five generations, and left me the poor fool I am, bullied and insulted by all of you.
THE ARCHBISHOP. Control yourself, sir. These outbursts of petulance are not seemly.
CHARLES. Another lecture! Thank you. What a pity it is that though you are an archbishop saints and angels dont come to see you!
THE ARCHBISHOP. What do you mean?
CHARLES. Aha! Ask that bully there [pointing to La Tremouille].
LA TREMOUILLE [furious] Hold your tongue. Do you hear?
CHARLES. Oh, I hear. You neednt shout. The whole castle can hear. Why dont you go and shout at the English, and beat them for me?
LA TREMOUILLE [raising his fist] You young--
CHARLES [running behind the Archbishop] Dont you raise your hand to me. It's high treason.
LA HIRE. Steady, Duke! Steady!
THE ARCHBISHOP [resolutely] Come, come! this will not do. My Lord Chamberlain: please! please! we must keep some sort of order. [To the Dauphin] And you, sir: if you cannot rule your kingdom, at least try to rule yourself.
CHARLES. Another lecture! Thank you.
LA TREMOUILLE [handing over the paper to the Archbishop] Here: read the accursed thing for me. He has sent the blood boiling into my head: I cant distinguish the letters.
CHARLES [coming back and peering round La Tremouille's left shoulder] I will read it for you if you like. I can read, you know.
LA TREMOUILLE [with intense contempt, not at all stung by the taunt] Yes: reading is about all you are fit for. Can you make it out, Archbishop?
THE ARCHBISHOP. I should have expected more common-sense from De Baudricourt. He is sending some cracked country la.s.s here--
CHARLES [interrupting] No: he is sending a saint: an angel. And she is coming to me: to me, the king, and not to you, Archbishop, holy as you are. She knows the blood royal if you dont. [He struts up to the curtains between Bluebeard and La Hire].
THE ARCHBISHOP. You cannot be allowed to see this crazy wench.
CHARLES [turning] But I am the king; and I will.
LA TREMOUILLE [brutally] Then she cannot be allowed to see you.
Now!
CHARLES. I tell you I will. I am going to put my foot down--
BLUEBEARD [laughing at him] Naughty! What would your wise grandfather say?
CHARLES. That just shews your ignorance, Bluebeard. My grandfather had a saint who used to float in the air when she was praying, and told him everything he wanted to know. My poor father had two saints, Marie de Maille and the Gasque of Avignon. It is in our family; and I dont care what you say: I will have my saint too.
THE ARCHBISHOP. This creature is not a saint. She is not even a respectable woman. She does not wear women's clothes. She is dressed like a soldier, and rides round the country with soldiers.
Do you suppose such a person can be admitted to your Highness's court?
LA HIRE. Stop. [Going to the Archbishop] Did you say a girl in armor, like a soldier?
THE ARCHBISHOP. So De Baudricourt describes her.
LA HIRE. But by all the devils in h.e.l.l--Oh, G.o.d forgive me, what am I saying?--by Our Lady and all the saints, this must be the angel that struck Foul Mouthed Frank dead for swearing.
CHARLES [triumphant] You see! A miracle!
LA HIRE. She may strike the lot of us dead if we cross her. For Heaven's sake, Archbishop, be careful what you are doing.
THE ARCHBISHOP [severely] Rubbish! n.o.body has been struck dead.
A drunken blackguard who has been rebuked a hundred times for swearing has fallen into a well, and been drowned. A mere coincidence.
LA HIRE. I do not know what a coincidence is. I do know that the man is dead, and that she told him he was going to die.
THE ARCHBISHOP. We are all going to die, Captain.
LA HIRE [crossing himself] I hope not. [He backs out of the conversation].
BLUEBEARD. We can easily find out whether she is an angel or not.
Let us arrange when she comes that I shall be the Dauphin, and see whether she will find me out.
CHARLES. Yes: I agree to that. If she cannot find the blood royal I will have nothing to do with her.
THE ARCHBISHOP. It is for the Church to make saints: let De Baudricourt mind his own business, and not dare usurp the function of his priest. I say the girl shall not be admitted.
BLUEBEARD. But, Archbishop--
THE ARCHBISHOP [sternly] I speak in the Church's name. [To the Dauphin] Do you dare say she shall?
CHARLES [intimidated but sulky] Oh, if you make it an excommunication matter, I have nothing more to say, of course. But you havnt read the end of the letter. De Baudricourt says she will raise the siege of Orleans, and beat the English for us.
LA TREMOUILLE. Rot!
CHARLES. Well, will you save Orleans for us, with all your bullying?
LA TREMOUILLE [savagely] Do not throw that in my face again: do you hear? I have done more fighting than you ever did or ever will. But I cannot be everywhere.
