Saenai Heroine no Sodatekata Vol 5 Chapter 6.2

Chapter 6 – The school festival of destruction and rebirth

Part II

We left the gym for the courtyard, which was bustling with students advertising, guests lining up and consuming yakisoba, takoyaki—shaved ice too, even in the middle of November for some reason—from the various food stands there.

“It’s all my fault.”

“…”

Utaha-senpai and I sat a mere 10 cm apart on a bench.

Senpai never reached for the takoyaki I offered her, staring pa.s.sively at her hands placed on her knees.

“It’s all my fault for trusting Utaha-senpai too much.”

“…”

Senpai used her hands to reply instead to my latest words, as they suddenly grasped her knees tightly, letting her nails sink in.

“The scenarios don’t work in a game… If we put them in one, it wouldn’t be interesting at all.”

She’s reacting to my rejection – to having the fruit of her labor rejected by her most fervent believer.

 

In the end, senpai’s stories are both too consistent.

Regardless of whether we choose either the first or the second, the objective is always to arrive at a single, definitive conclusion at the very end.

Each story’s exigency, development, foreshadowing – all of it is for the climactic end.

What I had asked for was a sub-scenario – a secondary heroine’s ending that would under no circ.u.mstance affect the main plot and become anything more than an accessory.

Because otherwise there wouldn’t be any fans of the secondary heroine.

The sub-scenario wouldn’t leave a lasting impression on anybody.

“It was Kasumi Utako who wrote the scenarios.”

An additional problem is the presence of two linear scenarios, made worse by the lack of any attempt to reconcile them.

It’s almost as if Utaha-senpai insists on throwing one away.

While both stories are good enough to make you cry tears of both happiness and grief, I cannot see how they can be put into a single game in their present states.

“It wasn’t Kasumigaoka Utaha –our scenario writer– who wrote it, Utaha-senpai.”

Those two novels could never be made into one game.

No matter how beautiful the scripts are, or how skilled the game creators are, that game will never become a reality.

“So I’m sorry, but I’m henceforth rejecting both of senpai’s scenarios.”

 

And in that instant it felt as if all sound had disappeared from the world.

While surely I was the one who was attacking, it felt like I was on the receiving end of a finishing blow instead as I found myself disconnecting from reality.

I was beginning to understand the difficulty, regret and pain of rejecting senpai – someone I’ve always chased, admired and believed in.

 

“…”

Utaha-senpai still hadn’t said a word since we arrived here.

But I’m sure she knows she can’t stay this way for much longer.

She’s going to make her move soon.

I’ll have to use what remaining time I have to desperately think about how I should react.

I should first list out all the actions senpai is likely to take, followed by my optimal responses.

 

The Slap

» look at her in surprise » she cries » I cannot resist hugging her » before we know it our eyes meet » Event CG: Kissing the heroine (protagonist’s face shown at director’s discretion) » theatrical blackout » sparrow cries

 

Running away

» give chase » search for her » catch her » she turns around to reveal her crying face » I cannot resist hugging her » see above

 

Crying

» I cannot resist (ry1

 

Insanity

» Your punishment must be more severe » Now we’ll be together forever

 

…But this galge style of thinking won’t do.

All the above happy endings are traps.

And besides, only Azumi Seiji2 would ever have to deal with these kinds of developments.

“I…see.”

“U-Utaha-senpai?”

I was jolted back to reality from the dark futility and gravity of the whole situation by a much calmer reaction than what I had been waiting nervously for.

“I understand, I really do.”

“Eh?”

“And I… even though…”

“Erm, Utaha-senpai, I’m sorry but…”

Her reaction turned out to be something different entirely.

While it was impossible to arrive at any definitive conclusion using only the words in each fragment of broken speech that came out of senpai’s mouth, it certainly felt like a terrifyingly intense battle was taking place within her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, you… you good-for-nothing rascal! I’ll…hmpf!”

“Senpai, could you either speak clearly or not at all? Preferably the latter?”

I’m not trying to be a hard-of-hearing protagonist on purpose, okay?

It’s all senpai’s fault for fiddling with her volume control.

“Ethics!”

“You know, if you’re going to drop the ‘-kun’, you might as well call me Tomoya…”

And as Utaha-senpai finally made up her mind to speak clearly rather than remain silent, she finally looked up firmly at me… or rather stared daggers into me.

“You must have some courage to question my scenarios. Very well, I will now do you a favor by crushing you.”

“Ehhhhhh?!”

 

Kneel Run Cry

 

“I will destroy you conclusively using all the resentment and pain I have acc.u.mulated this past year. Your existence as a creator is as good as over.”

“N-n-now just wait a minute, senpai!”

The time for me to select one of those three actions expired, and Utaha-senpai went completely out of character… or on second thought, unwittingly revealed her true self as she let loose with unceasingly abusive language.

I expected senpai to be dejected after all that but she’s high-strung now.

But whatever.

“Prepare yourself, Ethics-kun… We’ll be starting immediately.”

“…Are you sure? Are you sure you want to go toe to toe with me, Utaha-senpai?”

Senpai’s given me a golden opportunity.

“Sure. I’ll play as long as your criticism’s valid.”

“Just asking, but you haven’t forgotten that as director, I have greater authority than any writer or ill.u.s.trator right?”

“So? Are you saying you’ll resign if you’re wrong?”

“Of course. Nothing good will come from me bulldozing my own agenda. In the end, I only want us to make as good of a game as we possibly can.”

This is probably also the last chance Kasumi Utako will give me.

But before I return to being just a fan, I get to be as selfish as I want.

“Then there’s only one thing I have to do – to make you admit that my scenarios are correct. Or rather, I’ll force you to. You’ll be on your knees in very short order.”

“Like those Theatre Club members?”

Sometime in the course of always chasing Utaha-senpai and Eriri, maybe I ended up pursuing the dream of becoming a creator as well.

“Oh, I’ll be very disappointed if your defense is going to be as shoddy as theirs’ was.”

“You’re underestimating Kasumi Utako’s strongest disciple.”

“And you’re not fit to call yourself a disciple or even a believer when you’re just a mere lackey.”

“Oh, n.o.body knows your style of writing better than I do.”

But now I think it’s time I give my two great senpais reason for pause if they ever think about ridiculing me again.

“Kasumi Utako’s greatest strengths… and her greatest weaknesses – I know them all, better than she does.”

Let the master-disciple fight of the century begin.

*          *          *

“In fact, I’ve already put some thought into how we’ll go about doing the retake… Take a look at this, if you will.”

Having shifted from the courtyard into one of the school buildings, I spread my materials over a table as we quickly got down to business.

“…I see you came well-prepared.”

“Well, I try not to make the same mistakes twice.”

This is the second time I’ve clashed with Utaha-senpai over our project.

I was guilty of incompetence the first time this happened, when I said things like “It’s wrong, but I don’t know why,” back when there were still disagreements over the plot.3

But that’s why this time I’ve strived for perfection – by clearly listing the problems of the current scenarios and preparing a four-day plan for rectifying those mistakes.

“What’s… this?” was all Utaha-senpai managed to ask in an ominous tone after looking through one page’s worth of material.

 

Problems with Kasumi Utako’s new game scenarios:

The two different main routes cannot be put into one game Weaknesses of the resulting scenario

» A short sub-scenario and an unimpressionable ending

» Weak secondary heroines that don’t have any moe when contrasted with the main heroine

» Weak horizontal connection within the various routes, making the game feel like it has only one main route

Weak relationship between choice selection and gameplay

» Returning to prose immediately after choice branches

» Choices are absolute; every decision you make forces you onto a different route

» Character reactions after making different choices are largely the same

Game text imbalance

» Character’s feelings are always expressed through text, with no s.p.a.ce for contribution from the ill.u.s.trations or production

» Unable to flesh out characters with distinctive speech patterns due to lack of spoken lines

» Lack of actual “actions” due to overemphasis on following the characters’ thought processes

 

“Well, if I were to put it briefly, the main problem is that Utaha-senpai has yet to adapt her writing style to one suited for creating a game scenario.”

“…”

“But I think senpai will transition into scenario writing fairly smoothly once she’s tried her hand at writing for a few games… and relinquished a little of her novelist’s pride.”

“……”

“We can solve the problem of inexperience almost immediately, but the hubris is going to be another matter entirely… If I remember correctly, ever since senpai starting selling books and receiving critique, she hasn’t listened to anyone’s opinion other than maybe Machida-san’s…”

“Y-You consumerist pig! How dare you be so condescending!”

Senpai’s wrath was no longer limited to her voice, as her face took upon a h.e.l.lish look as well.

“Then prove to me you’re better than that. Instead of simply writing the scenario, do you think could make a good game?”

“…You know very well I can’t do that!”

“Oh, yes you can! You can always start by playing. Play our game and compare it against others. Then maybe you’ll understand what kind of twisted, monotonous, s.h.i.tty game devoid of a single iota of fun we made!”

My sleep-starved head was throbbing as hard as my aching heart.

Though I was more than convinced in the accuracy of my judgment, throwing the kitchen sink of everything I’m justified in saying but never meant to point out at the person who mattered to me the most still hurt very much.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be a VN and not a game per se anyway? Who looks for gameplay in VNs anyway?”

“Don’t you dare underestimate VNs! You can’t say that when you haven’t even experienced the true power of virtual paper drama. Have you been working on our project under such a pretense all this time? How were we ever supposed to make a good product like that?!”

“Y-you take that back this instant!”

“No I won’t! Not while you make a fool out of VNs!”

“I’m the one being made a fool of by you, Tomoya-kun!”

At least Utaha-senpai’s fully engaged now.

The proof?

“Ethics-kun” is gone.

“I devoted countless days… sacrificed my soul… spat blood – I gave everything to write this for you… So don’t reject me like this…”

“Who told me that the end was everything, and effort didn’t matter?”

If I let her win now, we’ll never be able to make up again.

But if I win, she might never be able to get back on her feet again.

Either way, we can only move forward.

“Erm, Kasumigaoka-san… Could I have a moment?”

And at that moment, for some reason, a girl wearing a maid outfit who appeared to be crying broke into our conversation.

“Please, I’m in the middle of something important.”

“If you care about this cla.s.s even a little, Kasumigaoka-san, I would really appreciate if you could leave as soon as possible… taking him with you.”

“…”

“…”

Erm… and so, having shifted from the courtyard into one of the school buildings, we chose to go to Utaha-senpai’s—Cla.s.s 3-C’s—homeroom, and quickly got down to business.

Today the cla.s.sroom was decked out for the much-publicized 「Maid Café 3-C」and business was at its peak.

…Only all the guests were missing because of our grand debate.

 

Deadpan’s Wonderland:

1Shorthand for “ryaku” in j.a.panese netspeak, used to truncate a sentence you’ve already heard. Similar to quotation marks.

2Protagonist, 「cherry blessing」, also known as the game 「blessing software」 is producing.

3See Volume 2. Alternatively, see that infamous hotel scene in the anime (can’t be bothered to find the episode number).